


Wild Caged Animal

by iMasika



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Confessions, First Kiss, Guilt, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Post-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:29:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 97,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26048821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iMasika/pseuds/iMasika
Summary: Fred’s presence is starting to make George feel like a caged animal. Loved and wanted, but at the same time terribly afraid of being forgotten and dumped. Even so, he can’t learn to lose.
Relationships: Fred Weasley/George Weasley, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 37
Kudos: 75





	1. Avis

**Author's Note:**

> Criticism is welcome, as it is my first work ever. English isn’t my native language, and I am still learning, so please excuse my grammar errors. I’ll try to do my best. 
> 
> I don’t own any of J.K. Rowling’s characters.

Heavy raindrops were hitting against twins bedroom’s window, as Fred was snoring softly against his favorite pillow and George was watching a hole in long-serving wooden floor. The roof has been leaking since last spring and if it is going to rain a little more, in Ginny’s room a decent looking puddle will occur. If he was correct, Ron’s sleeping bag was just underneath. That meant his little brother is going to wake up wearing pissed-like wet pants.  George’s body squished itself in a bubbly giggle, as he imagined furious Molly Weasley storming into Ginny’s room next morning finding him in wet pyjamas.  Then, George felt his throat gag and rolled to his side, watching peaceful face of Fred. Since he could remember his brother has been way more handsome than him. Although they were identical twins, as they kept getting older and older, more little differences were coming up.

George’s jawline was more defined, while Fred’s one was rather round and shorter. He had a mole on his neck, Fred didn’t. 

He was thinner, Fred was heavier, more athletic. 

Fred was slightly taller than him. 

Fred had a bubbly voice and his one broke when he was fifteen and was by now a lot lower, husky. 

No matter how hard they tried to be identical they still were becoming different in time. But _Gred and Forge_ would always refer to themselves as  we.George threw away his checked sheets and his feet touched the cold planks. He quickly made it to the other side of the room, where Fred stopped snoring softly. He jumped sitting up in his bed and looked worried at twin brother with his sleepy brown eyes. 

“What’s wrong, Georgie?” he asked quietly in his hoarse, sleepy voice. It made George feel safe and sound. 

„May I sleep in your bed? I’m quite cold,” he whispered, as he heard someone opening the bathroom door. 

He was afraid that if somebody could hear them talk, would come and make them sleep separate.  To be honest, twins were horrible at sleeping alone. Numerous amount of times when Molly and Arthur tried to make them nap in separate cribs. Never worked, as George was crying when he couldn’t touch Fred. After George almost choked on his own tears Molly never tried to separate them again. 

Fred looked briefly in his brother’s brown eyes, then moved closer to the wall leaving his arm ready for  _his Georgie_.

“ _Do not forget I live in this world thirteen minutes longer than you, Georgie. I’m experienced_ ,” he would always say.

George lied down on Fred’s arm and made himself comfortable with his knees bent.  His older brother put sheets over them.

“What’s wrong, Georgie, tell me,” the boy started caressing other’s hair identical as his, but different the same time.

“Just cold,” younger male answered with smile seeing his brother’s face in dim light of the bedroom of theirs. 

“Bro, you can lie to our mom, dad, Charlie, even McGonagall, but you’ll never lie to me. I know you too much.” 

“Good night, Freddie,” George turned his back to Fred and closed his eyelids. Still he remained on his arm. He was not going anywhere without his brother.

***

It was already late morning when Fred opened his eyes with a bludger-big lump down his throat. The rain hadn’t stopped since the day before. He had apprehension that something terrible was happening to his loved one. He couldn’t bare it. He had promised that he will always make sure _Georgie is getting his share_.

When he shuffled to stretch his muscles, but not to wake his brother up, he noticed with a pure horror, that Georgie is pressing himself harder into his arm more than usually.  He couldn’t weight more. Just impossible, as Fred has been the one taller and slightly heavier since the very beginning.  He had a feeling, that Georgie’s bones are more palpable than they did before.  When was the last time he made himself sure George eats enough? He had a bigger appetite nowadays, but the only thing he could remember of his brother’s meals was a single toast with butter. 

He couldn’t make himself sure if Georgie ate anything more that day.

***

Molly Weasley was turning the sausages over when two of her older children came down the stairs to have breakfast.  She put two eggs onto Ron’s plate, as twins took their seats at the end of the table. 

There was no way any of her children would succeed to fool her. She narrowed her gray eyes with two green plates in her hands.

“George, feeling alright, dear? You look pretty pale,” she put them in front of her children. 

“Not really hungry,” he answered, as rest of the family froze in horror and a grimace showed on Molly’s face.  Fred looked at him with asking face taking a jar of cherry jam in his hand. George shrugged and started to play with his hands. 

“Fred, make sure George eats at least two toasts or a sausage,”  Without a word, Fred took a toast and started smearing it with butter.  At the scent of the food, George’s stomach turned and he felt his throat gag. He observed how Ron was pushing another toast into his mouth.  He tried to move away from his baby brother, basically sitting on Fred’s chair that moment.

“What’s going on?” Fred asked really worried this time.  _His Georgie_ shrugged again and tried to focus on stained tablecloth instead of Ginny biting sweet bun. 

Trying to swallow soft bread gag reflex made him cover his mouth with palm of his hand. 

“Georgie?” he heard Fred’s voice, as he stood quickly up and his long legs made their way to the stairs.  With a scrap of his chair against faded floor, older one followed him fast.  Voiceless, he communicated with Molly’s gaze which begged for taking care of George. 

Mom didn’t have to say anything to make Fred take care of his twin. It’s been always his job. He felt, that he  needs  to protect Georgie no matter what. His twin was too gentle, too quiet, and calm. Fred lacked this calmness, needed his brother to keep the balance between them.

George was jumping two stairs at once when he finally reached bathroom door. He closed it with his right foot and kneeled in front of the toilet. He threw a few pieces up, then didn’t have anything no more. He fought with gag reflex and once done George put his head against cold, awful-looking tiles. A part of him wanted Fred to be with him, to hold him and caress his hair. Fred was standing on the other side of the door. He knocked four times, as usual. George already knew it was his brother, so he just whispered _go away_ quietly. In his heart he wanted Fred to be with him always. Not to take a step without  his Georgie. He wanted to go through his life with Freddie by his side. No more no less.

“I’ll wait in our room. If you need me, just call,”  then Fred’s steps were farther and mumbled until he couldn’t hear them anymore. Rusty hinges creaked. 

If he called every single time he needed his twin then that meant he would call for him for the rest of his life. He carefully stood up, desperately  wanting to see Fred.

_ What was going on? _

Fred was there ready and steady, his arms crossed identically as Molly Weasley.

“Too many sweets before breakfast, mom,” George smiled flatly in a really gloomy way. 

“ Are you serious, Georgie? Not eating?”  his twin shook his head in disbelief.

“If you don’t eat, you’ll look better than me,”

“ _We look totally the same, but somehow you still look better_ ,”  he thought to himself and knew right away, that they both clearly think the same, Fred was better.

“Johnson would dump me if she saw you,” the older one said playfully looking at him in the eyes.  George suddenly felt pit of his stomach, so sharp that he grabbed it, but through his pocket, so in didn’t look too suspicious.  He remembered when Fred took Angelina to the Yule Ball.

_ unwanted, forgotten, unimportant_

That evening was the worst since he could remember. Everybody was having fun and there was also George abandoned in his own companion. He wanted to go together with Freddie so much. They would add devil’s peppers to the punch.  Make fun of the teachers. Make Malfoy fall to the dance floor.

The real horror took its place when his slightly drunk brother came back and revealed that he kissed with Angelina. George felt more helpless than _shampoo producers_ chasing Snape’s oily hair. He had knew Fred was thinking about someone. _Ayo, he had_ _ kissed _ and it was nice. She didn’t care about his twin. She was dumb, didn’t have anything nice apart from the face.

Why did Fred fancy her? What did she have?

Unimportant now, it meant only one thing. George is going to be a third wheel, completely alone.

“Georgie? Georgie?” gentle hands of his older brother squeezed his shoulders. 

“It’s nothing, told you,” he said taking red fringe out of his brown eyes. 

“Kitchen’s empty by now. Care to give it a try?” George nodded and followed Fred.

In the narrow corridor there was Ron with a towel on his arm. He stood by the bathroom angrily pounding the door.

“Why tapping this foot that much?”  Fred said laughing bubbly. 

“You too?” their younger brother asked hitting the door, as Ginny’s angry _ Get lost _ could be heard. 

“Bathing that late? Are we having another guests? Fred wiggled his brows flirty way.

“Since so many girls are here I wait in this never ending queue to get my butt cleaned!” 

Molly Weasley who was doing laundry heard only  butt cleaned,  so asked suprised “Bathing that late, dear? You want to go out today?”

“No!” if only anger had it own definition it would be Ronald Bilius Weasley queueing to get his butt cleaned, face all red, choking himself on his yellow towel.  Fred faked diarrhea to have an excuse to use the bathroom first. Ron hit him with the towel furiously. Molly tried to make laundry somehow.  Nobody paid attention to the tall boy at the edge of the stairs.  George came back to their bedroom, to try taking a nap.

He didn’t eat anything that morning. 

***

_ “Georgie, quick!” Fred’s hand took George‘s one and made him follow his older twin in the direction of the Great Hall, making redhead almost fall, because of the long elegant robe he wore. _ _ It was already dark and a group of people was heading the same direction as them.  _ _ Flitwick was checking every single person. _

_ They stood on the edge of the Great Hall, gazing from the distance as Lee Jordan danced slowly with Angelina Johnson, his hand on her waist. Their younger brother moving to the dance floor with Granger. In the background dim figures of Ginny and Harry holding hands were just about to be seen. Malfoy was only sitting with a terrible grimace on his pale face dragged by Pansy to dance pointlessly. Didn’t care.  _

_ Fred’s hand squeezed George’s one again and caressed palm of it with his thumb. _ _ Filtch was dancing with Mrs. Norris in his arms, even Hagrid wasn’t on his own.  _ _ Everything was in place. _

_ “Georgie, be my once in the lifetime. Be my joke companion for the rest of our lives?” Fred gazed at him adoringly looking into his eyes. A hand stroking his hair. _ _ George felt a hot tear of pure happiness running down his face. _

_ He bent over to touch his forehead to Fred’s one.  _

“Georgie? Everything good?” instead of warm skin of his brother his forehead touched cold pillow made of feathers.  He sharply sat up, but instead of his robes he had a hoodie on. He was sitting on his own bed and his twin took the other part of the mattress. He observed him as if George was about to come apart. Piece of paper could be seen in one of Fred’s hands.

George realized that he simply cannot put his forehead against his brother’s one. Yule Ball didn’t go on and in the end his twin had been having fun with Johnson and they had _even kissed_. Bitterness pinned him down to the mattress again.

“Angelina owled me. She wants to stand by and visit the village.” 

If the sadness could make person sink into their bed George Weasley would go through his bed, floor of his room, even Ginny’s room. In the end he would fall into a pot filled with hot soup cooked by Molly. He quickly looked away, didn’t want Fredto see him being torn between seeing his brother’s joy and his own selfishness. He didn’t want Fred to be tied up to him constantly not wanting that. He without a doubt wanted Fred to be his  once in the lifetime.

“When she’s gonna be here?” George asked not wanting to hear the answer. 

“Next week, for a couple of days,” Fred answered making a paper plane out of her letter.

Then she will sleep here. Where? Where if Charlie’s home and all the beds are taken now? Bill has taken two beds because of Fleur that means Charlie sleeps in Percy’s old room. If Potter comes eventually he’s going to sleep in a sleeping bag. 

“She gonna sleep here, huh?” George took a look over  _their_ bedroom.

“Ginny’s already got Granger in her room, so we will just connect these beds I guess and sleep together,” he wiggled his brows and let out a quiet chuckle.  He nodded although he had a bludger-big lump in his throat.  Are they all gonna dump George like a useless old trash?

“Wanna tie Ron’s shoelaces together?” Fred asked like  _nothing happened_. Didn’t he notice his brother’s reaction?

“I’m going for a walk,” George blurted out making Fred’s eyes wide open like two galleons.  _I’m? For the first time not we?_

Fred felt as if his Georgie was miles away.  What’s gotten in him today? _Today?_ Maybe it lasted more than he thought.

“Fred! George! Come and feed the chickens!” Molly Weasley shouted from the ground floor. Fred again looked briefly in his brother’s eyes,  _hurt_ ,  then shouted her back and walked out the room leaving George on his own. _Didn’t wait for him to come._ Younger twin felt a hot wave of helplessness and pity starting to force tears from him.

Why couldn’t it be like it was _before Angelina?_ He quickly walked out the room and ran down the stairs.

***

George was jumping through decent puddles at a fast pace. Rain had made quite a mess the day before. Wet air settled on his short red hair. He felt _anxious_ being alone. He remembered the moment when he and Fred started bathing separately. They didn’t mind washing themselves together and have seen each other _naked_ plenty of times, but it was somehow  wrong, and people didn’t understand. The anxiety of being alone in a room didn’t come close to being alone outside. He didn’t even have to see Fred to feel their bond. He automatically turned to the left side to look at his twin, but then realized he was not there. He quickly distracted himself by thinking about new jokes he was about to come up with. 

Fleur’s arrogance pissed him of, she’s gonna be the target. Why does Bill invites her to their house? She was not their family.  Nothing differentiated her from Angelina.  They only cared about pretty boys, nothing else. Were empty-headed. 

Fred deserved _better_.

Someone who understood him, could hear him out. Treat him seriously not only as a clueless prankster.

Someone who knew how to hold him in check, teach him a lesson. 

Someone who really knew him well and what he wanted. Simply what he likes. 

Why did his brothers loved to make their lives _awkward_?

Not until his feet touched the wet sand he knew he had gone that far. George stood in front of small lake when he and Fred would always come and plot in their own companion. 

He heard a mumbled swear on his left, but when he quickly turned around he noticed with a slight disappointment that it wasn’t his twin. He gazed at older brother sucking his bleeding finger. Charles Weasley stood in ankle-deep muddy water wearing black rubbers and apparently tried to catch something.

“Charlie? What you’re doing here? Looking for some shit-worms again?”

“Need to look close at some creatures. I’m not free here. Besides, they’re flobberworms, not shit-worms,” he chuckled warmly “See this guy here? That’s jobberknoll. Nice specimen,” he indicated a small bird which was ruffling his blue feathers.

George wished he and Fred would be as free as this jobberknoll. _And not trapped by any Charlie._

“That one which gives you his feathers to make veritaserum?” George asked handing him a tissue out of his pocket.

“Uh huh, older brother responded bandaging his finger “Wait, weren’t there two of you?” Charlie asked looking over George’s shoulder. Twin felt pressed to the ground.

“ _Now there’s three of us,_ ” he thought to himself bitterly gazing at the lake’s sheet. He quickly turned around, the impression that Fred’s face was visible there was too strong. He couldn’t even look at himself freely anymore. 

He saw Charlie catching jobberknoll almost falling into the water completely. A few blue feathers felt on the lake’s sheet. 

“I’ve heard we’re gonna have a guest next week” young man said when they reached bird cages left by him on a rock. So Fred have told everybody already? “Are we gonna share a room?” Charlie asked closing the cage.  Helplessness hit him that hard he needed to sigh. He nodded though observing small waves on the lake made by wind. 

“I can just sleep on the couch in the living room,” George suggested helping Charlie to lift the cages. ”Don’t want disturb you and your _animal girlfriends and boyfriends_ ,”

One of the cages contained a big toad, while other a creature called _doxy, the biting fairy_. The last one contained a silent jobberknoll. 

“You must be joking, George. You’re not a dog,” Charlie said firmly holding the cages in place.  If George wasn’t in such a bad shape he’d for sure act like a dog along with Fred, but alone he wasn’t in mood for doing anything.  He was impressed though, that Charlie could tell them apart without twins introducing themselves. Of seven sibling he was the only one who would always distinguish them not only resting on their fringes.

“You are having an argument,” older one claimed looking at George from the corner of his eye.  George nodded and a shook his head the at same time. He started playing with the loop of his hoodie. He gazed at the trees way off in the distance; the very first fruits could be seen. He didn’t want to tell Charlie anything. He was too afraid, that his older brother would cotton things on. It was more than a regular argument. 

„George, I haven’t seen you two apart _since seventeen years_ ,”

Charlie thought George didn’t know that?

Charlie thought he wasn’t feeling as if somebody took away a part of him? 

Charlie thought himself was enough?

“Just scared I’m going to be a third wheeler,” George revealed holding the cage higher to reach his itchy forehead. Inside, the doxy scratched itself. He didn’t dare to look his older brother in the eyes.  Charlie understood somehow. Didn’t say anything, no need to. In the very beginning in Romania he also felt empty and lonely. He knew _the feeling_. 

“Until Bill hooked up with his first girlfriend we were similar to you two, but then I left for Romania,”  They started walking towards, the Burrow the air was even wetter than it’d been before. Gentle wind was pleasant in their red hair. 

“You ain’t gonna never be a third wheeler to him. Pretty sure he feels totally the same. I see how you two are drifting apart nowadays,” Charlie blowed to get rid of his red fringe in his eyes. 

“For sure the girl’s gonna be the most important. _Who am I to tell him what to do?_ ” 

For a couple of moments they marched in silence, but it was not as comfortable like he wouldn’t talk with Freddie. He and his twin didn’t need words they just knew what the other one was thinking. Such a _unreal_ bond. But so _familiar and cozy_.  Toads and doxy kept on making quiet noises as George’s mind drifted away again. 

“I still remember the day I came back from Romania. As I was leaving you and Fred were little terrors, too afraid to leave anything unsupervised," younger one rolled back his eyes 

“You grew up, George. Fred is a big terror,” he chuckled, so did his younger brother.  He liked talking _about them like that_. 

“Someone needed to turned out to be the supervising and _good-looking_ one,” said George in an unnatural, anxious way.  He remembered when Fred wanted to come for Potter to Privet Drive alone. 

“I won’t deny angry Fred is worse than hungarian horntail,” he owned. 

They went past two identical-looking oak trees conjoined by its roots. George noticed that one of them was being consumed by mistletoe.

_ Is Freddie going to wither away same way?  _

“He started withering the day Angelina caught him under the mistletoe the last Yule ball,” he thought to himself.

“I’ll catch up,” George said looking for something inside of his jeans’ pocket. Charlie nodded and came through filbert bush until he was no longer to be seen.  He took out his wand and pointed it at the mistletoe. 

“ _Avifors_!” the mistletoe turned into three terrified swallows that flew away towards small forest.  Two young oaks could again grew alone in the company of taller, old trees. 

He felt better. It was pointless and childish but somehow he liked it. But is he able to repeat it in real life?  He put his wand in the pocket once again and walked his way to the Burrow with a doxy locked in his cage.

After a while he felt a sharp pain in his right hand that was holding the cage,as he became sleepy that much his head felt enormously heavy. 


	2. Amortentia of Living Dead

Fred was bloody furious when Charlie came back alone with his cages and said George is going to return home in a few minutes. He looked at the family clock. The golden hand named  _ Fred and George  _ was still oscillating between  _ home  _ and  _travel_.  He should’ve been here for fifteen minutes already. 

How could Fred let him out like that? They never parted and George’s condition now was just awful. _Weak, fragile._ Something very bad was going on and he couldn’t figure out what it was. He was the leader of them two. He was supposed to protect his brother. Not to cause him any trouble. This was his oath to George.

If he wasn’t afraid of consequences of leaving brother on his own, he would make unbreakable vow. He couldn’t imagine something terrible happening to his twin. But he couldn’t live either way without his other half. It was not that he hadn’t tried to make such a vow before. He tried make Ron never have them up to mom. Dad hit him that hard he left a scar upon his left buttock.

He look on the left to the family photo frames. Above the fireplace there were only photos of Fred and George.  
He remembered once they had went shopping with Molly and his twin was supposed to queue as one muggle boy kept laughing at Georgie.

_ Look! His hair is like a fire!  _

Six years old Fred had been that furious he’d set boy’s hair on fire. His mother had been furious, yet impressed. Her six years old son set a fire not owning a wand.

But  _ where was Georgie now? _ If they were together, Fred could protect him. How was he supposed to protect him not knowing where he was?

“Why have you left George alone?” Fred stormed clenching his fists. Bill put a hand on his shoulder to try calming him down a bit. _I am here, little bro_. Yeah, but Georgie was not. Wish he’d been able to say it to his twin. How could they be so calm right now?

“Fred and I will search from the Ottery’s side. Dad and Charlie will go all the way tothe Diggory’s,” Bill suggested, as Fred, all red and nervous, has been already standing by the door holding the handle.

Molly was on the edge of tears. Twins were always so outgoing and optimistic, that seeing them anxious or nervous hurt her heart. She fanned Fleur with a conjured fan. Delacour’s usually pink face was ashy pale. Ginny handed her a glass of water. Ron and Hermione were looking around in the garden. Fred just couldn’t believe in any of these. A few hours ago they were talking and now _Gred and Forge_ are apart. He couldn’t wait to _feel_ his twin again. To touch him, hug him.

“If something happens, release red sparks into the air,” Arthur said and everybody nodded.

What if his Georgie had been _captured?_  
What if the predator was using _cruciatus_ on him? What if his beloved twin _suffered_?

He was pretty sure if Georgie was hurt he would feel it as well. He felt like crying, but walked out as a first hoping nobody will notice. Charlie and Mr Weasley flew on their broomsticks low above the small forest.

Once Fred and Bill were outside, the twin started as fast as the golden snitch. He couldn’t believe how easy it was to lose his brother even in their own yard. He made his way through gravel path leading to the lake nearby. His pace was that fast it kept Bill in the back. It felt dry and hot in his throat, but he sped up anyway. His adrenaline beamed all over Devon.

Bill has never seen anything like that. Fred was like a _wild animal; like a mother tiger which tried to protect her cubs._

Since twins’ birth they have been Molly’s favorite. Never said, _obvious._ She was protective, but Fred was  more  than _protective._ He was truly _savage_ about his twin. Bill coughed roughly when Fred was running even  faster.  All these years playing quidditch didn’t waste.  Fred felt as if running next to his own body. Horror overwhelmed him again.

_ How to be just Fred?  _

Then he saw Georgie, his knees felt wobbly, but he didn’t slow down. His twin was lying on the ground, tried to sit up. His hand _bleeding_ and his handsome face all pale. The cage was empty and the doxy was sitting on the gravel.

“ _Petrificus totalus!_ ” Bil aimed his wand at the biting fairy. It froze, then lost its balance and fell to the left.  Charlie’s recklessness made Fred’s blood boil. He wanted to rend his older brother so much. Why had he left his wand at home?  


When he finally reached  his Georgie , he fell down to his knees and a small wound opened on his leg. Didn’t even notice. He heard Bill releasing red sparks from his wand.

 _ I am here  _ he communicated with Georgie through his thoughts.

“Georgie? Georgie? How are you feeling?” he asked tenderly pulling his brother’s arms gently onto his lap. His twin lifted himself gently up and rested his head on Fred’s forearm. Bill bent over the twins. 

Fred looked like a _wild, young tiger whose cub has been kidnapped and lies by the swimming pool in a rich malfoyish house._

“Feeling sick,” George mumbled, as his sweet breath rimmed the older twin’s nose. Fred immediately felt tired and nauseous, but he pushed it to the back of his mind; _his Georgie_ was more important. The younger twin sat up clumsily and leaned over Fred’s arm; vomited. His brother held his forehead.

“ _What’s wrong with him_?” Fred’s eyes sparkled filled with anger tears, he looked at Bill fiercely. He felt less guilty, holding Georgie in his arms felt safe, he could protect him. If he only knew how.

“Once I saw doxy’s venom poisoning in Egypt. I don’t get it why did Charlie give it to him,” Bill choked out nervously “He needs to be taken home and given antidote.”

Fred quickly tore sleeve of his lime shirt apart and wrapped it around twin’s hand. With Bill’s help he managed to lift Georgie up, which wasn’t that easy, considering boy’s weight and height. The younger twin was exhausted; heavier and taller than Bill, so Fred took the actual weight, while their older brother was keeping the balance.

 _ Georgie lost weight  _ Fred thought severely worried. When he always tried to lift his twin up, it’d be a struggle. But now, it was easy to hold Georgie in place. The younger twin was so exhausted and felt sick.  _ Will they wear different sizes for the first time in seventeen years? _

“Why don’t we...” Fred started, as his twin squeezed his hand gently.

“Deportation is impossible, as you two don’t have licenses; one of you could splinch,” Bill restored their balance with a struggle. George was almost 6’4. He weighted more than 190 pounds. It was impossible to escort him safe way. Fred wouldn’t be able to do this on his own when his brother was slipping through his fingers.

They started slowly walking home; George gasped in pain. It tore Fred’s heart apart. Then, they heard Arthur’s and Charlie’s footsteps.

“Merlin’s beard!  George, what happened?” Mr Weasley shouted conjuring a stretcher. Charlie pushed Fred to the side to lift George with Arthur and Bill. Their hands separated.

_ Why they all thought Fred was a ridiculous brat and couldn’t help Georgie? _

_ They thought he didn’t care? That he’s just about to burst into laughter? _

“Freddie,” his twin whispered weakly. In a blink of an eye Fred was next to him holding his hand again. Bill and Arthur led the stretcher, while Charlie was carrying  empty cage.  _I’m right here_ ,  he communicated with him through his thoughts. George’s face lightened up seeing his twin. Fred’s chest felt warm.

“How did it happen, Charlie?” Arthur asked harshly. If father and Bill weren’t here, Fred would hit Charlie. Charlie looked really nervous, he was the older brother, should protect the twins.

“That biting fairy was that young I didn’t suspect it already could release its venom. There will be no side effects if he’s given antidote,” he said remorsefully.

_You’re lucky he’s alright_ ,  Fred’s savage brown eyes said.

Four of them walked quickly through the plains, the sky was completely clear; unlike the older twin’s mood. He wished they would just connect their beds and play exploding snap while coming up with new ideas till late.

Fred wasn’t really sure if he wanted Angelina to _storm_ into their kingdom.

They made it to the Burrow quite fast; nervous Molly already had everyone do their share in helping George. Fred felt awful standing aside with Ginny, Ron and Hermione watching  _ the  _ _adults_ helping his twin. He was _seventeen._ Was he really that reckless nobody trusted him?

“Fleur, don’t stand rooted in the middle of the room; you’re disturbing us,” Molly said annoyed, gripping a bowl of cold water in her hands. Ginny brought clothes to put on sick’s forehead. Parents laid Georgie on the couch and Fleur put a checked blanket all over him.

Fred’ll never _let separate them again._ He kneeled by Georgie’s side.

“Georgie? How are you feeling?” he asked pushing mother’s hand away to caress twin’s hair. 

“ _Bitten by a love bug,_ ” George joked weakly looking at the brother with his tired, brown eyes. A shadow of his usual smile could be seen. If only Fred knew how much he meant to his twin. 

Soft blush creeped on the older twin’s face. They were _together_ again. Twins felt their own comfort zone, didn’t care about  the others. Fred gently hugged his brother as if he wanted to protect him from the rest of the world.

“Fred, can you bring me the antidote from my suitcase?” Bill asked him checking George’s temperature “He’s got a fever,”

Molly Weasley put a dripping cold towel on his forehead. Ginny cooled him with a fan conjured by her older brother. Charlie felt guilty, but part of him was satisfied; he made twins close again. _Wish his older brother had done the same._

Fred stood up quickly to bring the potion, but when he straightened himself up, he felt his head spinning, as everything went black for him. Ron and Arthur held his arms. He couldn’t let Georgie down. Not now, when he needed his older brother. His throat felt dry. He’s got to be strong for Georgie.

“Fred? Everything good, honey?” Molly’s voice asked worriedly. George suddenly jumped up making cloth fall from his forehead. He scanned the room for his twin with his swollen eyelids. He started blinking fast and breathing with his mouth. George felt so nauseous he wanted to lose his consciousness.  Where was Freddie? Molly’s hand pressed him down to the outworn couch again.

“Fine,” determined Fred answered walking in the direction of the stairs. Halfway through he left sickness choking him and he quickly went near the sink. Sweet, familiar scent of _lily of the valley combined with pumpkin pastries and a smell of burning_ filled his nose. It was that strong his intestines felt like hit by a bludger. He threw up, as everybody was watching. Didn’t care, it was all about his Georgie. Hermione walked up to him putting a hand on his back, but he pushed her away. Ron flinched. 

It took him two long steps to make it to the wooden stairs.

Everybody felt a press. Had twins _argued_? They barely ever exchanged. They agreed about everything. Only thing they discussed about was Fred’s jokes’ ruthlessness. One could say Georgie _kept him on a short leash._

Fred came back, stamping loudly, he helda vial filled with pinkish fluid. Every member of Weasley family frowned in worry. 

_What was happening_? He felt like a _caged animal_. George _owned_ him.

Fed him his love, played with his heart, slept with his body.

A little bit of fullness, but lots of hunger. He felt happy whenever he saw his twin. He couldn’t live without him. _Will he ever be released_? What he’d do if he felt free? He won’t make it without his cage. The moment of release was eating away at him.

“Make sure George drinks at least half of the vial,” Hermione gave him advice “You also should drink a few sips, so you won’t vomit again,” 

George woke up again, but his eyes haven’t opened yet “ _Where’s Fred?_ ” he asked potently.  Molly caressed his hair gently smiling at him bitterly. 

“Right here, Georgie,” his twin, already on his knees, answered opening the vial.

 _How could they know how was he feeling?_ _He was on the edge of losing the most important person in his life. His second half. How could they know all he wanted to do was cuddling to George’s side and cry into his shoulder?_ All they saw was _unbreakable Fred The Prankster._

Maybe he was the prankster, but only George could make him unbreakable.

It smelled like a wax soap, _disgusting_. 

He lifted up twin’s head and poured some liquid onto his tongue. It was so disgusting George opened his cinnamon eyes, then closed them again with force. He squished Fred’s arm and drank half of the vial obediently. He observed, as his older twin drinks a few sips; a big frown on his handsome face.

Disgusting. It reminded him of soapy water mixed with cold soup.

“Close your eyes, mate. Rest,” Fred said giving his brother’s hair a ruffle. It melted hearts of his relatives; Fleur wiped away a tear from the corner of her icy blue eye. Hermione walked up to her leather bag and started rooting in it. She grabbed a book with leather cover and started flipping the pages. 

“Did you smell anything? They say here that biting fairy’s venom is similar to _amortentia_. Doxy’s fangs are used to produce items related to desire, such as amortentia or M _irror of Erised._

Fred wondered. It was not Georgie’s scent. He knew it perfectly. Many times they have switched their clothes. George’s scent wasn’t sweet. He rather smelled like a _cheap washing powder, soap, wet hair_ and there was something special about it. 

One could say an organic fragrance of George’s skin. This meant  _ home  _ to Fred.

“Some floral scent,” he lied quickly not looking her in the eye.

“Maybe Angelina’s perfumes,” Ron suggested gazing at George, then at Fred.

 _A single tear escaped George’s closed eye soundlessly_. Charlie felt his heart ache. He saw something he shouldn’t, but _what could he do_?

Molly noticed the tear and poked Fred’s arm.

“Give him more, quick! He’s hurt,” she rushed her son changing another dripping part of cloth in cold water mixed with daisy balm.

“ _It’s not the venom which hurts him,_ ” Charlie thought to himself going to the garden.

Fred poured the rest of the vial into Georgie’s mouth. He _brushed twin’s tears away._

“Georgie, it’s fine,” he assured him softly resting his head on his twin’s hair. 

_Sweet smell hit him again_. Not as strong as before, but very pleasant. _Oh Merlin, heloved this fragrance_. He felt an electric impulse going through his spine. 

The scent overwhelmed him again. It felt like a _Christmas morning; pure joy_. He almost saw his twin eating pumpkin pastry while experimenting with fireworks. Then, a sudden reek of burning came; George’s dirty hands were just about to be seen. He swore he heard his brother’s playful giggle. The last of the fragrance was the hint of the lily of the valley scented shampoo. They stole it from their mother, as their red heads were full of ash and stank, as a result of failed experiment.

He felt conscious again. If the venom was amortentia-like, _why would he smell George_? He was now sure it was his twin’s fragrance. But why would he desire Georgie? They loved each other and were safe. They were inseparable after all. Fred’s stomach felt weird.

“Maybe we should carry George to his bedroom?” Arthur suggested. Bill and Ron nodded. Fred stood up as if covering his twin with his body.

“No, let him rest,” he disagreed still holding twin’s hand. “I’ll be sitting with him.”

“Me too,” Charlie assisted him, standing in the doorway. Fred was grateful, but wanted to take care of Georgie himself.

Molly Weasley picked up the bowl with water, clothes and the empty vial. “Let him sleep at least until tomorrow. If one of you disturbs him I’ll...” nobody even dare to wonder what she meant, so everyone just scattered quickly.

Everybody was doing their business except for Charlie. He continued moping around the house. _He felt guilty,_ as he knew something no one else did. It was pretty odd. He gazed around the corner at the living room. George was sleeping under the covers, his chest slowly rising and falling. Fred was sitting on the bed next to him, checking his temperature every five minutes. The scent of boiling soup filled his nose trills; he wasn’t hungry though. He didn’t know how to behave, he _felt familiar sadness._

_***_

_ Everybody stood around Cedrick’s grave, as Amos Diggory went on his knees, screaming at the top of his lungs. “It is my son, my child!”. He gripped the dirt until his mourning wife and Molly Weasleyapproached him. Mrs Weasley kept saying comforting things to him for a few moments. Wind was warm, as it started raining; warm drops were wetting Fred’s fringe. His arm embraced Georgie’s waist in a very soft, caring way. The soapy scent of his twin embraced him in return. Ron was standing next to them, all red; Arthur put a hand on his back.  _

_ “They say only the good die young,” Mr Weasley said holding two of his youngest children in his arms. Xenophilius and Luna Lovegood nodded holding the bouquet. The flowers were the most colorful ones the Weasleys have ever seen. Neon pink was almost glowing when put on the grave. _

_ Ginny went to put cheap, dull-colored flowers on the grave. She came back pale and crying, throwing herself into twins’ arms. They hugged her and Fred let George put his head on his shoulder. After a while, she stepped back leaving their suits  wet.  _

_ “How can you understand since you have seven children? It wouldn’t even make a difference!” he yelled at her. Molly’s look made everybody flinch. Arthur stopped holding Ginny’s trembling shoulder and walked towards them.  _

_ The children watched Mrs Weasley slapping Amos across the face with all her motherly force. “How dare you...” she said loudly. Arthur and Mrs Diggory calmed them and the Weasleys received a tea invitation in honor of Cedrick.  _

_ “Exactly, mom,” Fred thought to himself. Losing one of their brothers would be an unbearable difference. He couldn’t afford to think about losing Georgie.  _

_ As the children were left over on their own,Ron was supposed to take care of Ginny and twins were supposed to take care of Ron. They told him to go home and make Ginny eat something. The youngest son walked away in the Burrow’s direction, holding hands with his only sister.  _ _ Twins were the last to left. George grabbed Fred’s hand. Their fingers intertwined.  _

_ “You okay, Georgie?” his dark brown eyes asked. His younger twin looked shattered.  _

_ “Do not pretend you don’t get it” George’s fierce look answered.  _ _ Wind rustled the Weasleys’ cheap fake roses. Fred felt a cold shiver come down his spine. His heart stung at the thought. _

_ “If by any case we would outwit the goblet of fire...”George started with trembling voice. His twin rested hand on the nape of his  neck. _

_ “...it could’ve been one of us” Fred ended his sentence as usual. They couldn’t even imagine this. They were two parts of a one.  _

_“If we ever become the richest guys in the world, losing you would be the only thing I couldn’t afford to,” Fred added pushing his brother into his loving, warm arms._ _ George stayed in his strong grip, holding his own lip in between his teeth. Their embrace lasted till the lights of the Diggory’s house went on. George gulped loudly, as Fred felt his Adam’s apple moving against his collarbone. _

_ “Don’t think about it Georgie. Let it slip through your mind. Remember what dad said before?” he asked him lovingly. George raised his head, so their eyes met. _

“ _That the only good die young?” he asked, his voice blunt. Fred nodded._ _ He grabbed George’s hand tightly and they started walking past the graves._

 _ “That ain’t us,” Fred stated caressing George’s palm with his thumb.  _ _ The Burrow was far away, but they were just casually walking. _

_ “Why? You know, apart of causing Ron’s arachnophobia, almost making him do the unbreakable vow and burning a hole in his tongue, we weren’t actually that bad,” George joked chuckling lowly, sparks shone in his brown eyes. Seeing that, Fred’s heart filled with joy.  _

_ “See? Having too much fun. We’re not in a rush,” the older twin said lightly, guiding his Georgie to the Burrow’s direction. First stars were just about to be seen. _

„Fred, here you go,” Charlie woke him up. He was holding a bowl filled by creamy porridge. Redhead was looking at his older brother for a while, then quickly realized he wasn’t dreaming anymore and looked to the right. George was sleeping peacefully, his chest rising and falling in a slow, calm pace. He slowly raised himself up from George’s shoulder.

“Mom said George should try eating something,” Charlie repeated him mother’s words. Fred knew he needed to wake George up. He was angry at Charlie for not letting his twin sleep and to be honest he wanted his older brother to go away, so they could be alone again. Charlie felt Fred’s savage eyes on him. _The halo of protectiveness hit him hard._

“Georgie, mate,” Fred gently shook his twin’s arm. He grabbed his hand no caring if Charlie watched. George slowly opened his eyes.

Shortly after that, Fred and Charlie saw the _most painful look they’ve ever seen_. Twins were looking at each other as if nothing else existed. Their older brother felt _unnecessary_. He was disturbing them in their big moment. Charlie’s throat was dry and hot, so he just patted Fred’s arm and then went outside.

_ Fred didn’t know what to do. Georgie never was really down before.  _

“What time is it, Freddie?” George asked quietly looking at brother’s face in the dim light of the living room. They looked at the clock on the wall. Their golden hand _finally pointed_ _home._

“Three in the morning,” Fred answered looking at the clock. He brushed George’s fringe away from his face.  _ We may be identical, but unlike me, Georgie is just adorable. _

“Do I need to help you eating?” he asked holding teaspoonful of creamy porridge. Smile crept on George’s face.

“ _No, where’s my bald butler without a nose_?” he joked, as Fred blushed. Yeah, it sounded exactly like _old George_.

“ _Sips tea with Potter,_ ” he grabbed some meat with the spoon. They laughed. 

Fred didn’t want Angelina here; he looked in these chocolate eyes filled with their old joy. _How could anyone come close to Georgie’s jokes?  
  
_

_***_

The next two days twins spent on napping, eating meals cooked by Molly and not so comfortable silence between them. It was already the evening and Fred brought a tray with George’s favorite pumpkin pastries. 

“ _Anything from the trolley, dear_?” he joked quietly putting the tray on his shabby bedside table. He turned back to close the door of their bedroom. The ash was still visible in the corner of the wood. The pumpkin’s smell made George felt _loved and childlike_. 

The younger twin had a feeling, that when Hermione asked Fred, he lied to her.

„What did you smell when we were poisoned?” he blurted out reaching for pumpkin pastry to hide his nervousness. Maybe when they were alone now, Fred will reveal the truth? _If he did lie at all._ He knew his twin and had a gut feeling, that Fred answered Hermione too quick. 

Fred was _glad_ he still stood facing the door, so his twin couldn’t see his expression. 

“Dunno, something sweet and floral. Nothing in particular, just nice, something like toilet freshener,” Fred answered carefully sitting on the mattress edge.  _ What about you?  _ He lifted his eyebrows looking at George’s warm chocolate eyes. 

_ How George could tell him the truth, since Fred smelled Angelina’s scent?  _

That moment George felt as if he wasn’t lying on the cold hard gravel path, but in their room. As if it was Christmas Day and Fred with him were making surprise-gifts for their brothers and sister. He felt _the smell of burning, paint, wood and lily of the valley scented shampoo._ The smell he wished would feel for the rest of his life. _If it was possible, he was sure he’d smell Fred’s warm, dirty hands working on new product._

“Nothing special as well. Shepherd’s pie and pumpkin pastries. Christmas-like,” he shrugged pretending to be digging into the cake. He took out a piece of pumpkin.

Although George was _seventeen_ already, he was still _very naive_ to think he and Fred would live happily together. Without love, marriage, children. Just how they used to do it before, just them and their heads full of ideas. 

They didn’t talk for a while. The only sound audible was the crunching pumpkin pastry George was eating. Then, Fred walked up to his bedside table and grabbed a piece of paper out of the squeaking drawer.  _ Be right back  _ he thought knowing Georgie doesn’t have to hear it to understand it. 

George tasted _bitterness in his sweet cake_. It wasn’t about the amount of sugar in it, though. His heart felt like being hit.

_ It was like concocting the draught of living dead when trying to brew amortentia.  _

Even now, when he was exhausted, Fred still wanted Angelina to come over? His heart skipped a beat, as non-existent hand gripped his throat. _Will the reality of the Yule Ball last forever_? His comfort destroyed. Since last Christmas he couldn’t look at Fred with the same look in his eyes. 

What was he even expecting? That he and Fred are gonna sit in the room and come up with jokes and pranks forever? 

George has always laughed at the dupes who got pranked by the twins.  _Damn, who knew he was the biggest one of them?_  
  


_***_

Fred knocked at Bill’s room door, checking letter to Angelina at the same time. He hoped she would respond soon. Bill opened the door after a while; Fleur went outside smiling brightly at him. He went into the room. It was on the third floor, the windows showed their garden, the shed; far away one could se Fred and George’s favorite lake. He stared at it folding the paper in his hand. 

“What’s going on between the two of you?” Bill asked putting a hand on Fred’s shoulder. Fred turned his head towards Bill, but didn’t say anything. _He looked at the Bill with mixed emotions; relief, that Georgie was safe, sadness that something was off, anger that he couldn’t protect his twin._ Bill squished his arm, as he realized it was not his twin. His older brother didn’t get it. Fred _cringed_. 

“I guess Georgie started to avoid me for some reason. I dunno why. I thought if I invited Angelina he’d be jealous and we could be the way it was before,” Bill’s light eyes glowed understandingly; he embraced his younger brother. It felt empty. Like  _ Oh, I should show some emotions.  _ Why his twin was the only one who could give Fred comfort he desperately needed? 

“I’m sure despite his fear, there’s nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for you,” he assured Fred, brushing his long red hair from his pale face. Fred’s eyes went wide.

“Fear of what?” he asked as if someone said Percy has now became _the biggest prankster of the wizarding world._ His Georgie was afraid of something? And didn’t tell him? The only thing he feared was Fred’s death. That was his boggart after all. But redhead was right there, _home, safe and sound._ It was George who became _sick_. He frowned reaching for the Bill’s owl to attach his letter to its leg. Brown old bird made a low noise, then took of towards Ottery St. Catchpole. He was afraid his brother is going to be hurt even though he meant the complete opposite.

“George is afraid of losing you. He thinks, that you’ll forget him in favor of Angelina, he’s afraid of being on his own,” Bill said reading the envelopes he left on the desk. Fred blinked a few times in a total amazement.

_Him, forgetting Georgie? His Georgie? Person he loved the most?_

“He told you that?” Fred asked, a _lump in his throat_. He clenched his fists. Twins were telling _everything_ each other. Now he realized, that Angelina’s visit could be the reason of George distancing himself from Fred. He felt anger rise in his lungs. He needed to protect their bond no matter the circumstances. _No girl will ever comebetween them._

“Me and Charlie also used to be close, but he left for Romania and I hooked up with someone. I know the feeling,” the eldest of the Weasleys’ children sighed avoiding the topic. He knew it wasn’t truth, but didn’t want to give younger brother _bad example._

Then, out of sudden, they heard familiar crack of the patronus, an unfamiliar voice and Molly’s scream. They looked briefly at each other and stormed out of the room. Fred ran that fast his feet almost didn’t touch the floor. Taking his wand out of his pocket, he lost his balance and bounced back the wall.

_ Georgie. Where is Georgie? _

“ _Fred_!” he heard George running out their bedroom. It was too fast and apparently his stomach gave out that much, he squatted on the floor holding the balustrade to restore the balance. Fred’s heart ached at the thought, that Georgie despite being exhausted ran to protect him.

“Mom!” with a loud bang Charlie stormed out of Percy’s old room.

Fred exchanged looks with Bill, who ran down the stairs accompanied by Charlie. The older twin squatted next to his brother, covering him with his body. He didn’t want to take a risk of moving Georgie on his own. He was afraid he won’t be able to pick his brother up. He took his twin’s weight holding him tightly.

“What happened?” George asked looking at brother. Relief mixed with stress and angst. Fred was healthy, safe. What about their mother? No charms or screams were audible anymore. They sat on the floor, squishing their faces through the balustrade. The twins heard their parents talk. Charlie and Bill were saying something. The unfamiliar voice faded, but George and Fred had a gut feeling they had heard it before. Nobody was screaming, it was rather a nervous discussion.

“Freddie, the Extendable Ears,” George suggested whispering. In the blink of an eye, Fred was back, a long string wrapped around his shoulders. They lowered the ear, as George held the second end. First mumble voices could be heard. 

“ _Molly, we won’t protect our children if we don’t do anything. Sitting around won’t solve it,”_ their dad moved his chair with a scratch.

Their mother started crying. The twins looked at each other worried intertwining their fingers.

_ “ _ _I know Fred and George will want to take a part in it. Oh, Arthur, they remind Fabian and Gideon so much! I’m afraid they’re gonna end the same way as them,”_ Mrs Weasley’s voice was mumbled as she was pressed to Arthur’s body.

Fred grabbed George’s hand that strong it changed color. _What was going on?_ George grabbed his stomach. The nausea came back twice as strong. Fred patted his back gently.

“ _They are actually adults, you can’t lock them in their room,”_ Charlie noticed.

Molly started sobbing even louder. Twins’ stomachs knotted.

“ _Knowing the twins, they will know even if they try to fly without their brooms._ ”  Fred and George exchanged hints of the smiles.

“ _They were a little older than the twins_ \- Molly continued choking on her own tears- _“If not Minerva, I would lose my pregnancy a month before Ginny’s birth...”_

George covered the ear with his hand, so they couldn’t hear anything. Fred pulled the string upwards. They gazed at each other not knowing what to say. They heard something _they shouldn’t_. Fred pushed George gently into their room.

“What happened to Fabian and Gideon?” George asked. One could say the twins were Molly’s weak spot. She was crazy about them. Even twins’ photos were her favorite.

“I know what you know. They were twins and died young,”-Fred answered dimly-“ _How are you feeling, Georgie?”_

George sat on Fred’s bed, resting his back on the wall. Burning and ash smelled stronger than usual.

“Sick, I dunno if it’s venom’s fault.”

Fred also felt nauseous as if he was eaten by a basilisk, thrown up by it and consumed again. They didn’t know their uncles died when Molly was pregnant. They couldn’t imagine living without any of their siblings.

George looked at Fred, his eyes saying, “ _It was a close call and we wouldn’t have a sister.”_

The twins were sometimes cruel, but in sake of their brothers and sister they would jump into the fire. Fred walked up to the bed, as George reached out his arms, ready for Fred. Their warm bodies calmed them down. The twins didn’t even cared about the smell of burning or crusts of pumpkin pastries all over the room.

If George will be safer, then Fred do anything to make it come true.

He rested his forehead against George’s one and they kept embracing each other. It was already dark and the only thing that beamed with dim light was the gap under the door. They sat hugging each other, thigh to thigh and arm to arm. They loved being alone, only the two of them. They felt enormous comfort. A quiet movement of the chairs and plates was audible.

“Kids, dinner’s ready!” Mr Weasley rushed them to come down. The twin let go of each other with a sigh.

“Would you come downstairs, or should I bring the dinner here for you?” Fred asked gazing softly at Georgie.

“ _I would_ ” he communicated with him through his thoughts and stood up to change his clothes. They were curious, but now they must pretend they haven’t heard anything.

If Fred could be safer, then George would do anything to provide it.


	3. Vulnera Sanentur

Fred opened his amber eyes carefully, when he registered the voices outside. His leg fell into the gap between two mattresses. He realized, that yesterday’s evening they had connected their beds. Trying to sit he noticed Georgie was still holding his hand. Fred smiled seeing his brother finally safe and sound. He leaned to brush his nose against George’s hair. It was all over the pillow, shiny and silky. The morning sun was brightening up his pale cheeks, as his long lashes bent against white pillow.

How was that even possible they were identical, yet George still looked  _better_?

He slowly stood up, his legs still a bit wobbly and muscles half asleep. He cracked open the roof window to investigate the mystery of voices downstairs. His great height allowed him to look down the yard freely. He remembered when their mother was concerned if the room at the end of the corridor wasn’t too small for vigorous, growing twins. It was packed with rubbish and experiment stuff from the floor till the low ceiling. It was pretty messy, but it was  _ theirs. A sanctuary of theirs. Their kingdom. _

Sirius Black stood on the cobbled path pressing Molly Weasley to himself. Remus Lupin was next to them uncomfortably shifting from one leg to another looking odd. Arthur gestured them to go inside, as Fred squinted his eyes; sun was especially beautiful today.  He returned to their beds, George stretched himself delicate lying on two mattresses at a time. 

“Good morning, mate,” he greeted him softly, his voice still husky. Fred ruffled his soft hair. George smiled moving his head against Fred’s hand. They felt intimate. More than brothers usually did, but they were something more than _the actual_ _ brothers_. They were _ twins. Two pieces of one. _

“Sirius is here with his _wifey_ ,” Fred joked, as Georgie showed his straight white teeth. They intertwined their fingers. Since the very beginning they used to do it when they were stressed or relaxed; not much difference. They didn’t know what was that about, but the nervous look on their mother’s eyes meant only one.  _A big thing._ Thrills or even more. Fred’s eyes shone their usual bright in curiosity, while George eyes only showed a sparkle. Despite moments like this, Georgie was different than usual. But twins always would tell everything each other. If Georgie wasn’t saying anything particular, Fred would need to wait for it. 

One moment later the twins stormed into the lively kitchen, greeting everyone. Even Lupin and Black could sense the abnormality that accompanied them. The guests took Arthur's and Molly's places, so their parents stood rested on the kitchen cabinets. Charlie and Bill stood together next to the fridge. 

“Where are the youngest _peanuts_?” twins asked. Fred’s knee touched George’s thigh. George smiled under his nose. 

“They went to Ottery for some stationery,” Molly responded calmly, crossing her arms over her chest. Her calm was a rather fake one. 

Twins looked over the table. They were the youngest it meant only the _adults_ were here. They felt  _ important_ . Maybe finally someone will take them _seriously_? They were so thrilled; didn’t even grab any food from the plate. They just sat there, as their big brown eyes scanned the room. 

“Boys, do you know what Order of the Phoenix actually was? Twenty years ago?”Black raised his wide dark eyebrows. Twins looked at each other. Fred shook his head and George nodded the same time. None of their older siblings ever told them. All refused, as one really annoying unity. They only knew it fought with You-Know-Who, but nothing more, nothing less. 

“In 1970 Dumbledore called together an undercover organization for fighting with You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters,” Remus reeled off gazing at scratched old table. Arthur pulled Molly to himself. Sirius shifted to place a hand onto twins’ mother shoulder. Fred put his hand on George’s thigh.

“The Death Eaters aimed for eliminating all of the Order’s members, just as us did to them,” Black sighed removing his dark curls from his forehead. 

“James and Lily Potter, Frank and Alice Longbottom, me and Remus...”

George felt the blood flowing away from his face. What if he and Fred _would be the target_? What if he _won’t be able to protect Fred_? George took twin’s hand. 

“Dad, and what about...” Fred started, causing George to regret his older twin spoke. Molly started sobbing quietly, when Sirius and Arthur supported her with their arms, as did Charlie and Bill. Remus only sat there watching the scene; spaced out. He felt like a second category human, prefering only to watch. Fred embraced George. 

“We didn’t get involved a lot, as Bill was still a newborn. Gideon and Fabian risked twice much,” Molly blurted out squeezed by Charlie’s strong arms. 

“Now, when You-know-Who returned, Dumbledore wants to remake the Order; to defeat him forever. Now with new members,” Lupin chimed in nervously touching the edge of his sleeve with his fingers. Sirius gave him a sad smile not minding Molly’s sobs. The Weasleys were grateful for the privacy. 

“Boys, I cannot ask you to do this, but...” Black started asking all four of the youngest Weasleys in the room. Twins communicated with one look, holding their hands. The were very afraid something could happen and somebody would separate them. _No. I’m not letting you be in any danger_ ,  Fred eyes said. He embraced George in a protective gesture observing Black and then Lupin. 

“We...” George started looking into Remus’ light eyes. He didn’t know what to do, but he sensed stagnation in older male. 

“...need to discuss it,” Fred ended his sentence in their habit. Older brothers felt the agression in his voice. Protecting George was his main task and priority. He clenched his jaw, trying to do it now. As if the guests were the danger. _Nobody_ can touch his twin. 

“Probably because of your lack of the experience, you’d be sorted into differentpairs in the matter of safety,” Black added. Lupin gazed at him with concerned look. Everybody knew twins are not going to agree with it. 

“ _No_ ,” Fred protested quickly. He was angry, his limbs trembled slightly. What if somebody _attacks Georgie_ and he’s not there? His heart ached in a pure terror. 

“Freddie, think about...” Arthur started looking close at son’s ballistic face. His arm embraced Charlie. 

“DON’T CALL ME FREDDIE!” Fred stormedstanding up, as his chair fell to the ground. He quickly went outside trough the garden door. Normally, he would feel shame, but he didn’t care. Georgie was the most important one and they wanted him to risk everything. Couldn’t they do this _alone_?

Nobody spoke a word. Lupin’a eyes kept on wandering from Molly to George. The younger twin gazed at him feeling sorry;  _ I’ll go get him. _

When he went outside, he saw Fred squatting on the lawn with his head between his knees. July wind in his hair kept on blow it away from his face. From he corner of his eye he could see Ron with Ginny and Granger walking home from Ottery. His twin approached and squatted right next to him. He gently brushed Fred’s fringe away from his big eyes. His hand felt rough, as he touch the Doxy’s bite scar. 

“I’m not letting you be at risk,” he said toughly looking in front of himself. George actually felt the same, but he knew he’s not going to protect Fred not doing anything.

“Even if they paired me with dad?” the younger asked. Fred shook his head. Their gazes met;  _I won’t hand you over to anybody._

" _Freddie_ ,  not yet,” Georgie’s voice calmed him down a bit. His younger twin caressed his back. Fred frowned. He was not very convinced, they didn’t know what was about to come. How did he know when  _someday_ would come? They stood up holding their hands facing the orchard, where they would play Quidditch all days long as children. _When they were all savage and free, not like animals dad used to talk; caged in muggle cages._ _Wish I could see younger Georgie again; him and his precious freckles before it had disappeared irrevocably._

“You remember Quidditch World Cup? Where we _barely survived_? I don’t wanna ever feel the same,” the older one said fiercely, causing George’s thrills to come down his spine.  _Yeah, so do I _his worried look said. Fred turned to his left to embrace his twin and feel his weight on himself again. 

The familiar scent of soap and little bit of swear overcame his nose, as a heat wave came through him. Fred wrapped his arms around his twin and rested head on his shoulder, so his lips touched Georgie’s neck. The younger one felt his sweet, warm breath tickling his skin. Even if they were together now and George _ loved _ his twin, he couldn’t forget about his twin _kissing Angelina_. How it was happening? Did she started or _did Fred_? No, don’t think about it. What was he thinking, when he closed his eyes? Did Fred _touch her_? What would it be like? _To kiss Fred_? To feel his lips _on George’s?_ _ On George’s?  On anyone’s. _

Why couldn’t they be that kids, who storm into the kitchen with new scarfs on their birthday morning anymore? The kids, who pretended to be dragons running around? _Why did Fred prefer Angelina to George?_ Nobody spent more time with Fred than George did. 

“Look at us. We’re just two kids, who are being asked to do the adults’ job,” Fred said looking George in his eyes. His twin remained silent.  _ Yes, we are. _ _Why it couldn’t last forever? Why we couldn’t be reckless kids forever?_ Why instead of having fun they have to risk? 

George felt a pointy needle in his heart, as he imagined these sweet lips touching Angelina. He pushed away a little. Fred didn’t let him though, pulling him tight with all his force.

“ _Who do you think you are_?”  Voice inside his head said quietly yet audible. _ I’m not a girl Fred’d like to spend lifetime with. _

„Georgie, please tell me what’s wrong,” Fred begged holding him close to his chest, so George could feel his heartbeat. The sickness came back. How much he would do to get rid of them. 

“I keep asking myself the same question,” the younger one responded watching a decent looking gnome running through themessy lawn. It started raining, as raindrops were going down twins’ faces just like tears. They _parted_.  Why he kept being complete and utter idiot to Fred? Why he kept making his twin angry? Why George couldn’t behave as usual? _What was actually wrong?_

They watched, as their old dusty toys in the backyard turn clean because of the rain.

_“Think I’ll miss it forever_ ,” Fred said sadly. George knew he wasn’t sad about that. It was that kind of sadness, when the school started or they had less free time. It was the sadness of not being together, while being together all the time. Not feeling lonely though.  _It?_ ,  his eyes asked.

“Only the two of us; younger,” he explained making George heart pound. He felt the same, ”I’m waiting for mum to call us for dinner,” he added, melancholy pouring from his throat. 

“Boys, come and eat with us!” Molly Weasley called. Twins looked at each other. They felt like kids again. Every single moment together. Before any girl would come between them; before any of them left. 

“I feel it, _you and me_ ,” George said looking at their hands. Tightly clasped together, but they weren’t dirty anymore. They were bigger, clean and George’s one had a scar. 

Inside was for sure a lot warmer than in the backyard, pretty _cozy_. Pumpkin scent flew throughout the rooms on the ground-floor. Mrs Weasley was laying a piece of cake on each of the green plates. Sirius and Remus sat at the end of the table and their plates were already empty. Bill and Charlie discussed something loudly with Fleur, drawing Ginny’s and Hermione’s attention. Ron stopped his steady chomping to ask for another piece of pumpkin pie. Molly ignored him laying a big piece onto Hermione’s plate. When soaked twins dashed inside the kitchen, their mother realized, that Ron is going back to his seat with a full plate and there is only one piece left for both Fred and George. 

“ _Merlin’s beard_! I’m sorry, boys. Ron, what are you doing? You know no restraint!” Molly stamped her foot furious at her youngest son. She always made herself sure everyone of her children is getting their share. Ron with a mouthful of pie mumbled only _ I’m helping them staying fit!_ , spitting crumbs everywhere. 

“It’s nothing, mum.  We’ll _share_ ,” George said and felt warm. It felt like the old times. Made twins feel closer. He moved his chair, so Fred could sit on his own one. Molly cut the piece into two and give them to twins. Ginny asked George about one of their experiments, as Fred switched their plates, so his twin had a bigger one. Lupin smiled at him noticing that. Fred liked giving George what he fancied. He was much calmer knowing, that Georgie is here, _safe and sound._ His twin ate a few bites, then felt sick again, so he moved closer Ron’s plate, who happily transfered it onto the other plate. Fred didn’t notice it busy talking about fireworks with Charlie. _Nothing_ was as it use to be. Molly sat at the end of the table, on Percy’s seat. Her round face was wrinkled by a grimace that crept on it. 

“You’re a bunch of kids. Ginny and Ron aren’t even allowed to use magic outside the school,” she blurted out quietly, as Arthur put down his fork on the stained tablecloth. Even Ron stopped stuffing his face with pumpkin pie. 

“ _Mom, even if we stopped being wizards_...”  Fred started, his heart pounding and all eyes on him. _Seriously._ He was taken _seriously_. George grabbed his hand under the table. Since some time they were too old for this kind of stuff, but none of them cared. 

“... _t_ _here’s nothing in this world we wouldn’t do for you,_ ”  George ended his sentence smiling to his sobbing mother. Everybody took twins’ words to their hearts. The jokesters, who would be the last people to say something worthy. Fred and George stood up to hug their mother. 

“We too, mum,” added Bill and Charlie, as Fleur grabbed a hand of the oldest Weasley son. She nodded her head. 

“So do I!” Ginny’s still childish voice assured. Molly shook her head. 

Everybody looked expectantly at Ron chewing the last bite of the pumpkin pie. 

“Me too, I’m too scared to be hungry and wearing dirty pants,” he joked releasing the tension. Every child bursted into laughter, as Arthur shook his head with a hint of smile under his nose. George saw Lupin’s sadness from the corner of his amber eye. 

“Arthur, move in with me and Remus to Grimmauld Place 12. Alone we won’t be able to make it usable,” Black suggested with hope. He exchanged looks with Lupin, who put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder.  Everyone thought heavily frowning their eyebrows.

“Is this _necessary_?” Mother instinct has awaken in Molly. She held onto Arthur’s arm. Sirius smiled and gave her a sympathetic gaze saying , if we didn’t have to, we wouldn’t ask you. 

“It’s going to be twins’ seventh year, they need _peace and quiet_ ,”  she added looking fiercely at Sirius. Fred and George looked at each other. Seventh year meant the end of fun. The end of _ Gred and Forge. _ The start of _Mr and Mr Weasley_. They couldn’t leave the past behind them, all these years together weren’t enough. Molly was right somehow. They didn’t know how big Grimmauld Place 12 actually was. They didn’t know if there was a room for their own, where they could be experimenting with new products. Where their _sanctuary_ was. 

“Fred and George are surely already plotting on how to leave their mother’s nest” Lupin chimed in shyly, receiving a smack with a kitchen cloth by Molly.  Twins laughed. Soon everybody except Molly joined them. But then George realized, that they _ain’t going to live together forever._ Pure horror overwhelmed him, as he thought about Fred _making his own family._

“You better wait!” Fred choked out and George felt like stabbed with a knife. His brother seriously wanted to get himself out of George’s arms? _He was a cage for him_? How? They loved each other. His expression turned from happy to sad again. _Did Fred felt like a caged animal?_

_ George wished he was a girl for Fred to like.  _

He looked above Fred’s shoulder at the twins’ photos above the fireplace. He still remembered what Fred once told him. 

_ "Georgie, starting from today I will always make sure you are safe and sound. Everyday I’ll be watching you on,” _

_ watching you on _

Newborn twins in their crib, holding their little hands.

_ on  _

Toodler twins holding a big present from Bill.

_ on  _

Twins at Ollivander’s holding their very new wands. 

_ on _

Twins hugging each other in Egypt.

_ on  _

Twins on Christmas Day wearing their new sweaters. They switched them on purpose. _Gred and Forge have been formed._

_ on _

Twins blowing seventeen candles on the big birthday cake.

Did he lose everything? Was there a way to somehow move on? 

“ _You must learn to lose,_ ”  A quiet voice inside his head said again. 

He stood up nudging twin’s arm with the intention of going to their room, as Lupin said, “Before you move in, it is the safest for twins to pass their apparition licenses,” Twins looked at each other.

***

The elevator came trough fifth floor, as twins’ stomaches jumped upwards and their father pushed them to the corner of the space. Thanks to that Kingsley Shacklebot could take out the documents out of his folder freely. They were so close their thighs covered in suit touched. 

“Stressed out, boys?” Kingsley’s low voice asked. Registered letter fluttered its pages upon George’s head. They went out the elevator going to _Apparition Test Centre_. Fred’s hands started to cover themselves in sweat. Their elegant shoes kept making a very annoying noise. He squished folder filled with his documents. 

“Not much,” Fred lied quickly gulping his saliva hard. During these five days they went through apparition course. Georgie did a lot better than him. To be honest, two days ago he was so focused intensively on his twin’s face, that he teleported straight to _Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures_ instead of next to Wilkie;an old _prick_ , who taught them.  Actually, they’d these classes before at Hogwarts. Only five week of twelve though, as Wilkie concluded they were very gifted when it was about apparition. They didn’t need more than five days to train themselves. Twycross used to say, that it is usual thing for twins. He felt George’s pinky finger reaching his one, meaning  _ I’m right here. _

Eventually, Arthur opened the glass door in front of them which spelled _Apparition Test Centre_ on it.

“I’ll wait outside. It won’t be long,” he patted Fred’s tensed arm. 

The room or to be exact two of them were rather small and cluttered; cabinets and papers everywhere. Diplomas hung across the ugly-colored wallpapers. Here and there were withered plants and a fur duvet in the middle under the big, pine tree desk. The other room was behind the glass window, so apparently the examiner himself could see person on the other side. Wilkie _Dung-head_ Twycross sat there as a big translucent pile of pride. Twins honestly couldn’t stand him; one action and from the lovey-dovey professor he turned into Malfoy heir.  He noticed them and stopped rearranging pieces of paper in his wrinkled hands. 

“...Name?” he asked harshly gazing at them from the feet to their redheads; his old face all wispy and limp. 

“Weasley,” they told him. He nodded and reached his hand, as two folders took off the shelf and jumped right between his fingers. He took out two licenses cards and started to fill them with personal data. 

“Mr Frederick Weasley born 1st of April 1978?” he asked moving his head, looking at George and then at a Fred; couldn’t distinguish them. Funny enough, they smiled identical in a weak, blunt way. Fred started seriously stressing out.  _What if Georgie splinches_?  He knew they were nice at this, but anything could happen. 

“And Mr George Weasley born 1st of April 1978?” George nodded his head. 

“Firstly, you’ll Apparate next to that plant and then in the second room,” he pointed the space behind the glass. He noticed then, that the second room is in reality another office, where Arthur and Percy were searching for something in the papers, “Because of some unpredictable conditions I’ll be the only examiner for today,” he said in monotonous, bored voice. 

“Mr George, you’ll be the first. Mr Frederick, could you wait there?” he pointed the second room. Fred nodded and went in the door’s direction. For the last time he turned to see George’s beautiful face. His younger twin smiled at him, but it wasn’t a happy smile. Although his face was smiling, his heart ached deeply.  He _did know that_.  And he knew Georgie knew it. _What was going on?_ He was afraid his twin was in pain and could harm himself even though it was so unfamiliar with twins.

„Mr Frederick?” Wilkie asked  annoyed to the death. It wasn’t fair; Fred’s been watching George since ever and still he couldn’t figure it out. What do these big eyes did? _Did they hide big lies?_ Georgie wasn’t a player. Wilkie was waiting, a quill in his hand. George took out his wand. 

“Mr Weasley, The Three Ds: _Destination, Determination and Deliberation_. Please relax,” the old man said, as George tried his hardest focusing on the pointed place. Fred’s amber eyes lingered in his mind, but he saved it for later. He liked thinking about Fred when he was falling asleep. He couldn’t wait to return to their room. He imagined standing there; plant’s leaves scratching his thigh, planks under his feet, facing Wilkie from the distance. Fred held his breath.

_ Bang! _

He felt sharpness pull his belly button, as the surroundings turned into the imagined ones. Wilkie nodded satisfied. He started scratching a date on the license card. Then George focused on the other room, where he could be with Fred. He felt warm creeping on his face, as he thought about standing next to his twin. He imagined ugly rag there, an old sofa, dark desk. He thought about Percy’s cold gaze; dad’s understanding eyes and the most important one. He imagined Fred’s _warm._

_ Bang! _

George Apparated behind Fred, blowing teasingly into his slender neck. Twin’s sweet breath caused Fred to _lose his temper_ ; the hot sensation started on his collarbones and a wave went down to his abdomen. A shiver down his spine and it felt wonderful. He flinched, but didn’t show it. Arthur patted George’s back. Twins felt  _something_.  It was quick, but they both sensed electrical impulse. Father’s  _Congratulations, George!_ was not really loud enough for them to hear. One could say they were busy with each other. 

Two of them returned to Wilkie. Fred felt relieved. _Georgie was alright. It was all he care about._

“First-class apparition, Mr Weasley,” Wilkie said proudly writing a _“_ _with distinction”_ on George’s card. He signed and stamped it. George took it with formal smile and went through the door to join his father and Percy who’s been ignoring twins all the time. 

“Now, Mr Frederick, _Three D’s,_ ” he said _accenting his name._ Fred _cringed_. Nobody was allowed to call him Freddie _except Georgie_. But he hated _ Frederick_ . It sounded like a serious old man, someone who he was afraid of becoming one day. 

They were just kids. None of them wanted it, unlike everybody else.  _ Seems we had so much fun it was a rush.  _ He was darn stressed; his hands were trembling. _It wasn’t joke._ They weren’t use to it yet; any mistake causes wounds. The silence was just overwhelming, as Wilkie wrote a date on his card and stared at him expectantly raisinghis snow-white eyebrows.  Twins never competed actually, but somehow they didn’t like, when one of them was better. It wasn’t jealousy at all. More a desire of _being absolutely the same_. 

Fred tried to focus on the plant in the corner. It was relevant to gather his thoughts all about the apparition. His knees felt wobbly a bit, as he imagined the plant itself, the planks underneath and Wilkie’s huge forehead in front of him. George and Arthur looked at him from behind the glass. George started playing with his hands. He took out his wand. 

_ Bang!  _

He felt pinch in his belly button, as his feet touched the ground again. He lost his balance and swayed, but he restored it somehow; stretched his long legs. He was in the pointed place facing the examiner.

“Please relax and don’t mind it,” Twycross repeated noting something. Fred actually didn’t mind. He was _Aries, an real life optimist._ Then the worst part. Apparition outside the room. He started to imagine the desk, the shelves, dad, Percy and Georgie. He focused on his touch. _It was unstoppable._

He imagined every single George’s feature. _His lean, long legs. His soft hair and nice defined jawline. His perfectly sculpted face. His warm arms, his.._.

_ Bang! _

And then only thing he felt was the insane pain in his back and something pouring on his legs. The last thing he heard was Georgie’s desperate shout, as he slumped into the darkness.

***

Fred felt lying somewhere not that soft. He nearly panicked, when he felt nothing on his hips. He wasn’t naked though. Some kind of thin, paper-like clothing covered him. Clean smell surrounded him slowly, as he started to regain his consciousness. 

“ _When he’ll wake up?_ ”  A terribly nervous voice asked. He knew it very well. Once his voice and this one _were identical._

Fred didn’t feel anything, but he listened to voices of Molly and George. Mum fussed Bill about leaving the door wide open. One could say he _felt twin’s presence._ His heart felt warm and some little things were palpable in his stomach. 

“Miriam the Healer said he’s going to wake up today morning. Will go and buy the two of you something to eat. Today you’re going home with me and Bill,” Mrs Weasley said strictly grabbing her bag from the chair. This meant Georgie was sitting there all night? _Did he eat anything?_ Fred tried to move his arm, but it didn’t work considering his exhaustion. He slowly lifted his eyelids and a white ceiling covered with bubbles filled by lighted candles appeared to him. He felt George jolt by his side, as he used all his force at the moment to look right at his twin. He saw these huge amber eyes looking straight at him. For a brief moment he couldn’t speak anything, so he kept _soaking_ in twin’s face. Corners of his mouth absentmindedly went up giving his cheek dimples. 

“ _Mornin’ Handsome One,_ ” Fred said weakly with George leaning above him to press a kiss on his sweaty forehead. His twin covered him with his own body as he wanted to protect brother from rest of the world.  _I was so afraid,_ younger one’s _body screamed_ at him. Fred made his useless body put a hand on George’s back.  _I know_ ,  his eyes said. There were only the two of them. They’ve always thought that _George was glasses and Fred is Harry Potter_. Made sense together, but without his glasses _Potter would hug Malfoy, he’d thought that’s Dumbledore_. 

“ _I love you Fred,_ ”  his younger twin whispered trembling against his neck, resting his head on Fred’s collarbone, so Georgie’s lips were pressed against his Adam’s Apple. Fred felt comfortable even though he was almost naked and it was for sure not their room.  _I’m a fucking mess_ ,  George’s body said shaking. How come he wasn’t ashamed of being naked next to Georgie? They bathed together plenty of times. To be honest, it wasn’t that long ago. 

“I’m here Georgie, nothing’s happening,” he soothed his twin caressing his red hair.  He then realized, that there were bandages around his lower back and a tube sticking out his forearm. George was not dressed the way he had been before. 

“Nothing’s happening? Nothing’s happening?! You splinched so badly,” he started to brush away all tears coming out his amber eyes “I tried to use  _Vulnera Sanentur_ , but nothing’d happen,” George started sobbing quietly, vision of Fred blurred. Fred’s hand slowly drying his face with piece of cloth he was covered. 

“I thought you were going to bleed out, I screamed that loud everybody got there,” the younger twin shamefully revealed “Percy did the  _Vulnera Sanentur_ three times and we got here,” he rested his forehead on sweaty palm of his hand. 

“Perce?” Fred asked disbelievingly. Percy has lived alone for more than a year and actually sent back all presents mother gave him. Probably Percy wouldn’t wiggle a finger to help _Fred_ _ The Reckless Idiot._

 _I couldn’t do anything and you’d do everything for me_ ,  George’s eyes glowed with tears. Fred kissed his hand. He couldn’t imagine being at his twin’s place at a time. He then looked around the room; it was small but far away from cozy, rather claustrophobic. The walls were awful and the floor was ugly as hell. The bed he lied on was really old and squeaky. There was no window. 

“That healer’s said your kidneys are that damaged she doesn’t know if they are salvageable,” George’s shaking words hit him hard. What will they do? Fred was the stronger one, the leader; Georgie was more intelligent though without his leader he couldn’t do anything. It wasn’t like Fred dominated Georgie. It was an unsaid agreement between them. The younger twin’s face became all white and pale. 

“Aren’t you hungry, _Pretty One_?” Fred asked his thinner twin. He liked calling him these. George shook his head,  _You’re more important than I am._ Fred started feeling the pain wave coming. His back ached, he felt like crying. The hard bed strings poked his back. He hissed in pain, as George cupped his cheek, eyebrows high.  _It’s okay_ ,  Fred’s eyes said. 

“Show me your card,” Fred asked him. George grabbed the folder from the small dirty bedside table. He handed it to him. 

_ Apparition License Card _

_ Name: George Weasley _

_ Date of birth: 01.04.1978 _

_ Result: Passed with distinction  _

“ I’m so proud of you,” he said with wide smile across his handsome face, “I guess it’s nothing if only one of us has the license so far.”  George hugged him once again nodding. 

A part of him wanted to be _fully undressed with Fred_ , as once they’ve been. Fred’s pain got worse. 

“Are you awake Mr Weasley?” chubby healer peeked inside the room.  George moved away a bit; Fred heart _stung._

She stepped in the middle of the room with some papers. The Healer took out her wand and a piece of paper with Fred’s examination flew in front of their eyes. 

“I’ve consulted with other healers and if triple  Vulnera Sanentur  only stopped the bleeding, a transplant would be necessary for you to live,” she said sympathetically looking into twins’ frightened eyes. 

George grabbed Fred’s hand. The older twin felt like crying. _What now_? He was _the leader and then_? Is he going to live the same life with _Georgie it is he going to be a cage for him_? Will he attend school or work?

George felt a poke of hope inside his chest. _Maybe there is a way._ Maybe he could help his beloved twin. They were so pathetic; depend on each other completely. George’s eyes went wide open. He didn’t need two kidneys _. One was enough._ Could he give one of them to Fred? _Would it save his life_? His head span, as he thought, that a piece of him will be living inside Fred _forever._ He feltwarm halo, that he and his twin would _become one._

“We have records of your brothers there; sadly none of them is compatible with your blood,” she said putting a hand on his knees. Fred’s eyelids were half open; how he was supposed to be the leader now? 

“ _Could you transplant Fred my kidney_?” he asked proud of himself to the death. It went quickly, as he didn’t have time to wonder. He clenched his fists with hope. 

Healer’s face lightened, “Are you seventeen or above?” He nodded.

“Twins are the most compatible people all the time. It is very likely to succeed,” she said full of hope.

Fred’s jaw fell. George wanted to harm himself of his sake?  _No way. No way in hell he’s going to let them cripple this beautiful body in front of him._ He wanted to became one though. To be _the same being._ But it meant George having a scar on his silky back. _Is he going to lose a part of his body? What if they fail?_ Fred didn’t want to think about it.

“ _I won’t let transplant myself anything from him_ ,” Fred declared loudly hissing in pain. George grabbed his shoulders, _I’ll do it_ ,  he communicated with twin through their thoughts. Fred shook his head,  _You wish._

He was the leader, it was _his job to protect George_. Which part didn’t he understand? The younger twin felt, as if Fred  didn’t want a part of him.  Did he felt _disgusted_? George started playing with his hands.

The healer stood in the doorway waiting, “Now, Mr George I need you to come with me and we need to examine the compatibility.” 

George hesitated and then Fred grabbed his hand,  _Stay with me_.  Fred gave him thrilling gaze. His thumb caressed younger one’s palm.

“I won’t let Fred be alone,” he told her, twins’ fingers tightly clasped. Molly Weasley has just came back holding a plastic tray filled with oatmeal and cooked meat. George and Fred both felt the hunger of skipping meals for one day. Molly settled the tray on Fred’s knees. George felt a stone being removed from his heart. _It was happening. He was saving Fred._

He quietly closed the door behind himself and let the chubby lady lead him. The went through a long corridor. It was dim, because of lack of the windows; only candle-bubbles under the ceiling. He passed sick people, moaning in pain, looking at him. He felt _euphoric,_ that Fred’ll be better with piece of George’s body. 

Finally, she stopped in front of opened room. There were a lot of cabinets and vials. She asked him to sit down on the chair, while she was writing his name on an empty vial. The room felt cold. 

“Please relax,” she commanded and took out her wand. The healer pressed the tip on his skin and he felt a sting. 

George hissed, as he watched his blood come out through a small hole on his hand. The blood flew in the air to the vial. She closed it and put aside. The younger twin was given a band-aid to cover the place. 

“Now I’ll add your blood to Mr Frederick’s blood and pour some horklump juice. If it is compatible, the mixture will turn blue.”

***

It was nearly eight in the evening, when George changed into the paper green clothing as Fred was given. Molly and the oldest son stayed with the twins to make them feel more confident. Mrs Weasley wanted to press twins’ favorite shepherd’s pie into their stomaches, but they were forbidden from eating anything before the surgery. Bill helped the short healer fit another bed with  _George Weasley_ tag into the small room. Their beds were the same distance as their _ones at home_. Bill squished George’s hand with pride and Fred felt his heart poke seeing this. _Did Georgie like that? Why is he touching him?_

“George, _we’re so proud of you_ ,” Molly confessed wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. Bill nodded patting the younger twin’s arm. George felt like a truly happy person. _He felt he loved Fred more than before_. He wanted to _kiss him_ like they did on their birthday. It was just a brother peck on the cheek, but it caused George to think of it while stressing out.

Twins lied that close to each other they could intertwine their long fingers.  _I love you_ ,  they both said voicelessly.

“Maybe a piece of me will make you _more attractive_ ,” George joked. Fred wanted to laugh, but his back forbade it.  _You can’t be more attractive_ ,  George thought to himself. Twins were damn worried about each other, but knew it was _necessary._

Molly and Bill went out to have their dinner until they could. Twins were alone and comfortable. The hint of their old intimacy could be felt. 

“I never thought the day will come, when _we become one,_ ” George confessed; a smile on his long face. Fred blushed, didn’t respond anything, but felt the same. They kept touching their hands waiting impatiently for the healers to come and get them. Fred felt his twin lying a mile away from him. _He wanted to be one already, so George would never leave him._

The younger one realized then the thing he was afraid of. What about Angelina? She was supposed to come today. Maybe that was better.  _ No, it was not. Fred is hurt! Don’t be so selfish. How could he even think like that?  _ _They remain silent,_ listening to each other’s heartbeats. 

They were naked and together. _The way they had been born_. That meant new Fred and George? Now how they really were supposed to be born? _As_ _ an one?_

Finally after an eternity of waiting two healers entered the room. 

“Mr George and Frederick? We’re ready,” the older one said giving each one a vial with sugar scented mixture, “It’s the sleeping potion, so you won’t feel anything during the process,” he explained. 

Twins leant backwards and sipped the bitter potions.

***

_“Georgie, will we go to Charms class or do we skip and experiment with chocolates? ”  Fred asked George going down the stairs from their dormitory to Gryffindor’s common room. His twin started to play with his hands. The younger one looked away searching for someone._

_ Fred felt like being punched right into the stomach. Why, Georgie? Why? What had he done? _

_ “Actually, I’m going to meet with Katie and do potions essay together,” responded the younger twin. The saw Katie Bell approaching, as George offered his arms to girl jumping right into them. Fred felt anger and like crying the same time. The worst thing Katie totally ignored him and wrapped herself around his Georgie. Why was he embracing her?  _

_ What she had that Fred lacked?  _

_ He knew George like nobody else. Why her? Was Fred not enough anymore? Katie smiled at him making him cool. Oh, what a honor. Fred rolled his eyes. She’s been pissing him of since the very beginning. What’s so special about her anyway?  _

_ No, it was stupid. He couldn’t keep Georgie only to himself; couldn’t lock him down away from the rest of world. Fred scratched his thigh through trousers' fabric.  _

_ Katie and George walked away laughing and he stood rooted in the middle of the common room. He felt like sitting anywhere; he didn’t care. What was with him? It was not like he’ll never seen Georgie again. Only a couple of moments alone. He looked over his arm at the clock. Nearly six in the evening.  He decided to read a newspaper, but when Fred tried to understand the headline he just couldm;t do it. Pointless, as the words kept bluring in front of his eyes. Seriously, couldn’t he think about abythning else, but his twin? Fred started stamping his foot against the duvet. Every second lasted forever. When is he going to return? Merlin, what were they doing? He grunted angrily looking around the room.  _

_ Everybody was talking to each other or laughing crossing their legs. Only he was alone. What hasn’t he got they did? What they were laughing about? What was that funny? What was wrong with Fred?  It’s nothing wrong in sitting alone from time to time, he thought to himself; his intestines on fire. So why did he felt that angry?  _

_ He saw Lee Jordan’s arm embracing Angelina Johnson’s waist. Honestly he couldn’t care less. He felt empty, where was his other half? He felt a gulp down his throat.  _

_ He lost the track of time, so he didn’t notice, that Georgie was back. When his twin entered the room all eyes looked at him. Everybody looked up to him and smiled bubbly at his younger brother. His light was particularly shiny that evening; he’s never seen George like that; unusual and beautiful. His pale, but at the same time blushed face shone showing everyone his beauty. Nothing weird Katie was whetting her appetite.  Because all the armchairs were taken at the time, Fred straightened up his legs for Georgie to sit on his lap as usual. It wasn’t anything odd about it, they both could sit after all. Fred patted his knees welcoming him. Georgie shook his head laughing at Lee Jordan’s words. The older twin felt dumped as hell.  _

_ unwanted, forgotten, unimportant  _

_ Fred felt like on fire. Why couldn’t it be like it used to be before? Just them and their own room? Locking Ron inside attic with ghoul? Pissing of mother and father? Lying in one bed instead of two separate?  _

_ What twins had done they lost it all? _

_“ Everything good, Freddie? ”  asked George, his voice blunt and blurry. Fred shrugged looking at his own knees with hot eyes._

_ “Guess I just wish our summertime hadn’t gone away that fast,” he responded looking at these playfully, big eyes.  _

“Mr Weasley? Mr Weasley?” the chubby healer repeated waving a finger in front of his amber eyes. Fred’s vision slowly focused. He quickly looked to the left; George’s bed was gone. Pure horror made his heart skip a beat. He couldn’t even feel face, _couldn’t cry._ _ I don’t need another kidney, I need his heart. _ George may be... It made blood boil in his head. He somehow hove himself up. 

“Where is Geo-orgie?” Fred moaned loudly feeling pain in his back. He swore he felt every single sew opening itself.

He growled reaching his back; coarse sews all over his right side.  _Georgie is here, inside me._

“ Mr Weasley! You will harm yourself!” she protested covering the door with her small body, “Mr George is in the other room, because of some complications.” 

_What complications?_ She said, that...

Fred was amazed by his own power, but he stood up with a strings of pain all over his body. He approached the door and pushed her to the side.  _He was going to see George._

He went outside clutching his side, which seemed like a one big fire. Then he heard him. George’s scream tore the silence of the hospital corridor. He felt another wave of anger in his veins.  _I’m coming, my other half_.  He walked slowly for a while, when he finally spotted two healers and Bill running to one of the rooms. Resting on all the walls possible he slowly yet fast made it to the door. It was open, so he could already see what was happening inside. He suddenly felt his wound opening itself, as he grunted in pain, his voice husky and eyes dry. He couldn’t get his thoughts together yet moved farther. _Merlin,_ in his life he hadn’t felt so much pain both psychical and mental. He felt a bit relieved though. George was _alive_ , breathing through his plump lips. 

He peeked inside the room. Georgie’s was whirling on the bed crying in pain, tossing his head left to right. Fred clenched his jaw not to scream. Molly patted the younger twin’s hair, while Bill was fanning him. The healer smeared a cream on Georgie’s temples.  _His Georgie suffered_.  Fred felt the wave of pain again, he was afraid he would faint.

“Whe-re where is Freddie?” George cried in agony looking around the room. His twin wanted to approach him as fast as he could and hold him close. Fred wanted to cover Georgie with his own body. The older twin entered the dim room too fast and blackness surrounded him, as he cried in pain. He slumped into Bill’a arms, who fortunately spotted him before. 

“Georgie! Bill, let me go!” Fred demanded trying to get on his feet. 

The oldest of brothers sat him on a chair next to Georgie, who fought with his eyelids to look at Fred _for even a minute._

“What’s...what’s going on?” Fred mumbled, as one of the healers smeared the same cream on twin temple. Some pain was gone, but it still wasn’t bearable.

“Mr George lost much blood, because his skinny body couldn’t get over the surgery, he felt _every single cut,_ ” the healer explained trying to fan George. 

Fred didn’t understand a half of his words.He reached out his hand to touch Georgie’s one. He was _frozen_ ; _Georgie suffered that much for him to feel better. He kissed twin’s hand_. Fred’s eyelids weighted as much as Hagrid probably, but he wouldn’t give up. _Oh, boy_.

Then Molly screamed at the top of her lungs, as Fred felt something hot and wet pouring on his hip and down his leg. 

“Lay him here,” George moaned moving to an edge, making a space for Fred on a broad bed. Soon after that, the bleeding stopped and the twins were lying holding each other’s hands. The younger one passed out a little later. 

***

Fred carefully opened his eyes. Pleasurable warm soothed his right side wound. Finally he felt his limbs, as he realized he was still holding George’s hand. _They were safe._ His twin was sleeping, long lashes brushed against the pillow, chest rose in a steady pace. He turned to start caressing his hair. _He was so beautiful._

“You sleeping?” he asked quietly, as the door was opened. George fluttered his swollen eyelids. He smiled weakly. 

“ _How are you feeling_?” they asked the same time looking each other in identical eyes. They closed the distance between them. 

"Hurts like hell, but I’m not regretting. It was the right thing to do. I’m sure it was. Now I know that I paid back all the care you showed me these years,” he responded looking at his beautiful face. Fred doubted anyone else could be that _precious._ Georgie swallowed his saliva hard. Fred wanted to get him something to drink. 

“In the end it shows, that I didn’t do anything,” Fred blurted out shamefully. He was _unsatisfied_ with himself. He did barely anything to protect Georgie, while his twin actually gave Fred  a part of his body.  He felt delightful, that he and Georgie  _became one_.  He felt closer to his brother than ever before. He took one of his twin’s hand and placed it on his back, where his wound was. He also touched Georgie’s right side. They cuddled close. 

“ _We are one_ ,” he murmured happily into George’s hair. They were practically _naked_ in a hospital, but neither of them seemed to care. They being together was the most important. George’s exhausted body started to fall asleep again. 


	4. Veritaserum

Fred swung backwards on his heel trying not to fall asleep. Since the splinching incident a week ago, he hasn’t been sleeping at all. Not because of the pain, he wasn’t feeling much. His George was _far away_ and he couldn’t fall asleep without him. How was he supposed to sleep alone in the room? It was relevant to assume Fred couldn’t stand the silence around him. Every single night they’d sleep next to one another. Fred could doze off listening to George’s heartbeat. The older twin would always recognize his twin’s _soft breathing_. Not even talking about his warmth beaming at brother’s sleeping body.

“Counting to three. One...two...” Bill said, as his wand fizzed joined by Charlie’s one. Fred absentmindedly raised up his wand, but it only released a sparkle and fell silent. Some broken planks and debris were picked up and thrown away. 

Fred wiped sweat away from his face. He felt a sting in his lower back; he got used to it. It was troublesome at night, but he wasn’t sleeping anyway. Not _without_ his brother. The way a part of George was with him _every time_ gave him strength for the work. This morning Bill and Charlie were helping accomplishing twins’ future room. It was bigger than the one at the Burrow, but it wasn’t _the same_. Where their piles of garbage and experiments were? Their cheap beds they could connect anytime weren't the same as these heavy, oak ones. Did they take their plans along or did Molly’d thrown them away  _again_? Fred hissed sitting on the wide windowsill. He felt and odd sensation, but when he touched his back it wasn’t that. Today they were going to fetch Georgie from st. Mungo and he felt little sparks inside of him. He hoped George was not going to shut him out ever again. 

“Guess nothing’s changed here except the mould,” Sirius noticed standing on the doorstep of Fred’s and George’s new room, “I haven’t been here for ages, _twenty_ years to be exact,” he said looking longingly around the messy room.

“It was messy for sure, but I wouldn’t be that certain about your  _posters of naked women,_ ” Lupin said out of nowhere standing now behind Sirius, making him turn around. They smiled at each other not minding the Weasley trio in the room.

“I don’t remember quite well though, I’ve been here only once, as you were pleased to spend Christmas at Potter’s _every single year_ ,” said Lupin bitterly looking at everything but Sirius. Fred flinched. He felt it was the same as George’s feelings about the Yule Ball.  Why didn’t his twin understand how precious was he to Fred? _If only George knew why his older twin invited Angelina._

He bent to the left, as pain pierced his body. Bill and Charlie approached fast, ready to act. With horror came the realization, that the pain has increased since the day before. What if his body was actually  _rejecting_ Georgie’s body? What would they _do then_?  He’d feel upset to the death if it happened and his body wouldn’t pull together with George’s kidney. His heart would broke apart.  Their hearts would. And what if something was on and his twin will need a part of Fred? The only thing he could’ve given his brother then would be his heart if it was possible. 

“Nothing’s wrong. It hurts from time to time,” he answered annoyed clenching his jaw, his swollen eyelids burning. He stood up slowly, as Molly called for help. Four of them went away except for Fred. He  _fucking hated_ the room. He wanted their room _back_. The room where they’ve experienced all these things they shared. These walls were awful, dull and gray; unlike their orange wallpaper at home. He took care of the mould growing on the floor.

He kept working till Bill caught him sleeping on straight legs in the middle of the room in the late afternoon. He pushed him away wanting to finish the room today. Fred imagined coming here back with Georgie and saying _ Look, I did it for you. _ The room was almost ready just before the lunch. He repaired the wardrobe, which could be the hideout for their new inventions, and it was quite _livable_ , but it didn’t make Fred like it at all. He decided to wash himself before fetching George. He took a set of clean clothes and went outside the room, where two voices were audible. 

“I’m not gonna get rid of it until tomorrow,” Hermione whined trying to take pieces of plaster out of her curly hair. She went downstairs to ask Molly for help, as Fleur returned briefly to France. 

“Me too, but what can we do?” Ginny asked herself bluntly pulling some hair out. 

If she thought nobody would notice her swollen eyes and pale face, then she was _terribly wrong_. She thought nobody _heard_? Every single night Fred was falling asleep unsuccessfully listening to her sobs behind the wall. He dropped the pile of his clean clothes to put his dirty hands in her hair. She screamed tiptoeing, as her tiny hands made their way to his shoulders. 

“What’s going on there?” Molly shouted concerned. 

“I told you I’ve always wanted to become a hairdresser!” Fred shouted her back joined by Ginny’s growl. He ruffled red locks until some of the plaster came off. _Actually, he did her a favor_. She had no chance with her 6’3 feet tall brother, but she wasn’t gonna give up. He laughed absentmindedly, getting on her nerves. 

Wish Georgie was around to torment Ron.  Without him Fred felt like a _china doll_ that could be broken any moment.  He finally stopped, as Ginny looked at him furious. She punched his ribs. It didn’t hurt more than Georgie being alone. 

“Wanna a _real_ help?” he asked picking up his clothes, as she nodded. They made their way to the bathroom. 

The pink old comb was going through her straight red hair. There were some moments, when it wouldn’t go through, so Fred used his force causing some teeth to fall out. 

“What is it?” he asked with faked curiosity brushing the hair from her face. She frowned a little. 

“Do you think Harry likes Hermione?” shesaid quietly lowering her head. Fred already knew what was that about, but wanted her to spill some tea herself. He knew _the feeling._

„I doubt that,” he responded honestly looking at them in the mirror, “He prefers Chang though.” 

They were silent for a brief moment, then Ginny asked, “Do you think she’s pretty?” 

Fred frowned his brows. He shook his head, “Not my type,” he responded.  Ginny turned her head towards him. She sent him a wicked smile. 

“What’s your type then, big bro?”

Fred tilted his head. If he had to choose a person whose personality he _fancied the most it’d Georgie_. No one understood him the way his twin did. His brother exactly knew what he liked.  Georgie was just perfect.  Always right; not that loud as Fred; _precious_ in any way. He had the same sense of humor. The older twin could go on and on...

“Sense of humor; someone who understands me well. Knows what I like,” he told her shifting from one leg to another, “Tall, thin, short hair. I like them with big brown eyes and pale.” 

It wasn’t Angelina for sure. He _never_ said he liked her much or so, but everybody thought that. Ginny grinned, but couldn’t forget about Harry liking someone else. Seeing that, he pulled her into a tight hug. 

“ _That sounds exactly like George_ ,” she noticed mumbling into his shirt, causing Fred’s heart to rush. He panicked; how could he say something that _lame_? _Why_? 

“Shorter than him, huh?” she asked, her voice changing. She felt some kind of bond with Fred. He looked at George similar way she did at Potter. The _reserved_ one.  He couldn't forget about Georgie even only for a minute.

Ginny opened the bathroom’s door, “Promise me you will never put any girl over George. That’d break his heart,” she looked him in the eyes fiercely. It was still his sister? _Fourteen_? She’s grown up so much. He would never look again at himself if he had break George’s heart. Doing that he’d break part of _himself._

She closed the bathroom’s door behind herself. What was _going on_? He covered his face with hands. _ I just wish we were kids again. _ He was scared to the death of what will happen next as soon as they'll graduate from school.

“Fred? We are leaving in an hour!” his mother yelled from the kitchen. He better hurried himself. 

Fred quickly undressed, careful not to touch the sews on his back. The older twin felt a sting of cold air poking his skin with its’ teeth. He scanned trough his naked body. He for sure had lost some weight, as his once muscular arms became thinner. Not even comparing old Georgie to his present self. Twins will catch up as soon as the quidditch trainings start. 

As he turned the faucet and the water started pouring into the old-fashioned bathtub, he noticed a huge surface behind the dusty, heavy curtain. There was nothing like his old curiosity on his face; without George nothing seemed to work in his body. He’d been using the bathroom for a few days in a row, how come he haven’t noticed it before? He approached, naked, and ripped it off causing the curtain rod to lose its’ pieces.  A wall-sized mirror appeared in front of his big amber eyes. He saw himself, but it was _not his usual reflection_. Something about it made him wanna look at it for hours. Days maybe. Was it charmed like the _Mirror of Erised_ did?  He looked closely at his long legs, but they were much leaner than they used to be back then. His chest was a bit flatter than before. He looked different, but somehow he wanted to look at himself. _Was it himself? If not then who_? The person in front of him couldn’t be Fred. There was a dot on his neck that could be a mole, but the mirror seemed dirty and scratched.

 _The mirror must be bent or dirty_ ,  he thought. It wasn’t _him_. And Fred’s gut was never wrong; that’s why majority of their jokes succeeded. He focused his gaze on the sews on his lower back. The mirror was not showing the shallow post-splinch mark on his hip. The thing may have been as old as this whole house, there was nothing odd about its’ charm being broken somehow. With a struggle he looked away; he wasn’t a narcissist for Merlin’s sake! 

He made it to the bathtub, where he sat down between the bubbles and lukewarm water. He was fond of hot baths though. It was beginning of the August anyway. As all his stiff muscles relaxed, he hummed massaging his soapy forearms. The bathtub seemed big and  _ empty._

_ „Boys, you’re too old for bathing together, you can’t even fit into the bathtub!” Molly complained turning on the faucet. It was that old and long-serving that she sheared it off. Twins’ mom cursed under her nose and threw it away. Fred bit his lip not to burst out laughing.  _

_ “So what? You pour Skele-Gro into our tea, so we grow up,” George joked, as Molly was pulling a green sweater over his head. To be honest, they could be cleaning themselves alone already, but she knew their hot- tempered personalities. It’d be a waste of time and water besides. Fred made a face, so George moved his leg causing the water to splash onto his older twin and a half of their small bathroom. She folded knitted sweater realizing, that two months ago it was too large for George and now its' sleeves barely reached his wrist.  _

_ Recently, twins' growth and ensuring them new clothes turned out to be her greatest fear. She couldn’t catch up with sewing new jackets, as twins refused to wear anything different. _

_ Actually, Molly was right and George squatted with Fred’s legs on the sides of his hips. Fred basically sat in the air barely touching the water. None of them cared though. Mrs Weasley started shampooing the younger twin’s hair, as Fred touched George’s arm and caressed it with his little hand. His twin put a bubble on his nose.  _

_ Then, they were dry and clean; towels wrapped around their waists. She walked them outside the bathroom with her hands on their backs. Arthur stood next to the door and smiled, as he saw his twins together. They were meant to be a pair. A set of two.  _ _ They walked towards their room holding their hands. _

_ Bill and Charlie peeked out their room.  _ _ William whistled, “Where is my drink, Charlie?” he asked looking at twins’ towels. Charlie appeared behind him, punching his back with his fist. Twins blushed.  _

_ “There where my beach chair is,” Charlie answered quizzically, as Bill turned around to start fighting with him. The door closed behind them. Arthur pounded it, but the rustles didn’t stop. Jus _ _ t before they entered their room, Fred wiggled his eyebrows. He focused all his thoughts on it and soon a big pile of sand crushed on the corridor’s floor. It was everywhere, in Molly’s hair and Arthur’s clothes.  _

_ “Mum, build us a sandcastle,” he choked out, as ballistic Molly jumped to them, but they managed to close the door; towels falling of their hips.  _

“Fred? Are you going with us or not?” Ginny called jolting him awake from his daydream. He couldn’t even think of how much he wanted to be with George everytime together. _The time it wasn’t weird and none girl was interested in them; just the two of them_. He wanted George to touch him like before. During their bath, on his arm, face. How it had always been. It wasn’t that odd considering, that each other’s naked bodies were the first thing they’ve ever seen. He reached for his back.  Had George felt the same warm, when Fred’s hand touched his back? 

Stepping out the bathtub he realized that he hadn’t brought his clothes with him. These were George’s. He picked it up inhaling his twin’s sweet scent. It meant the set Molly gave his brother the day before must had been Fred’s clothes. He blushed; the fabric he wore every day was now touching his twin’s lean body. He embraced himself with his arms surrounded by his brother’s scent. 

***

George opened his swollen, heavy eyelids for the next time that day. When all his senses started working, the sadness poked his chest again. It wasn’t the pain surgery caused. It was his heart reminding George, that he gave himself up to Fred again. The more he gave to his twin, the more he felt like one with him. He knew Fred didn’t feel the same, when George was around. _Just because they shared the same blood?_ If George and Fred weren’t twins would _it_ be possible? George flinched; it would be the worst thing in the whole universe. Fred wouldn’t be _himself_. How could he be loving Fred without his twin’s personality? He would look different than George. _Where would his Freddie go then?_

The healers kept pouring sleep potion down his throat, so his body could heal itself. He couldn’t get to have  any normal  sleep since a week. How was he supposed to nap here alone, not knowing what was happening at Grimmauld Place? How could he rest not knowing _if Fred was safe?_ Without his brother’s warm body he couldn’t pull himself together. 

Just because George was George they couldn’t live together? If they weren’t related, then would it be better? Not to take every single step in life watching Fred? Random meeting better than being by his side all the time? Look at Ginny. She cries about Potter every single day and there’d be no problem in the two of them being together. What’s so different about Fred and George? _Don’t they love each other?_ Don’t they take care of each other _unconditionally?_ He grabbed the front of his t-shirt and brought it up to his nose. On purpose or not, Molly gave him Fred clothes. His ones were at the time on his twin’s beautiful body. _If his brother only knew how he felt._

 _Stripped of everything_. His heart, his kidney and his shame, as two healers took of all of his clothes and changed them to new ones. How come everybody could watch his naked body except Fred? The one he _wanted_ to see? He felt a hot tear going down his cheek. How old was he to be such a crybaby? He was _George Weasley._ He couldn’t forget his talk with Lee Jordan Yule Ball’s night.

_ Lee walked broodily inside the room. There was not a shadow of his usual excitement. George was sitting down on his bed looking at his mother’s pumpkin pastries inside the box he held on his lap. He hadn’t even touched a single one. Lee fell on his bed, face down the red sheets.  _

_ “It happened,” he whined into his pillow. George frowned his eyebrows. He closed the lid of pumpkin goodies and stood up to look at Great Hall’s windows from their dormitory.  _

_ “What happened? Snape’s washed his hair?” he asked sadly looking at the snowflake sticking itself onto the glass surface. _

_ “Your brother kissed my crush,” Jordan combed his hand into his dreadlocks. He turned hugging his pillow and looked straight at the ceiling.  _

_ George felt like being crashed into million small pieces. His chest felt stiff and he couldn’t breath. Well, he could, but he actually didn’t want to. His knees felt wobbly.  _

_ “My brother kissed your crush? Maybe it was your crush kissing my brother!” he cussed to himself in his thoughts.  _

_ He fell on his bed, all of his clothes still on, and felt like crying. A part of him screamed, that something between George and Fred just died. Their innocence was gone. Why her? If she agreed to go on a date with Lee, then they would go together. And then twins could go together. It wouldn’t happened.  _

_ He looked across his bed, as Lee discreetly brush the tear away from his face. His stuffy nose made a sound.  _ _ George bit his lip. How come Fred with Johnson are enjoying each other and Lee with George are in a mess? Is it fair?  _

_ “I don’t like it either,” George told drawing Lee’s attention. Jordan turned his back to the Weasley twin.  _

_ “It’s just your brother. Not that I don’t understand, but you should be enjoying his well-being,” Lee uttered causing George’s throat to stiff.  _

_ Actually, Jordan was damn right. He should approach Fred and congratule him. Be happy, that his twin finally had someone who’d take care of him. But what was George’s role then? Just a brother? A shoulder to cry on? He felt a hot tear escaping his eye. _

_ If only she’d accepted Jordan, Fred wouldn’t kiss her.  _

_ “Man, everybody watched them, I wish it had been my hand on her waist,” Jordan kept talking making George crazy. He went to the bathroom leaving the younger twin alone in the room.  _

_ “And I wish it had been his hand on my waist.”  _

Did that mean Fred was going to kiss Johnson with a part of George inside of him? He dreamed of becoming one, so why it hurt that much? Was she already at Grimmauld Place?  Twins always discovered everything together. Hand by hand. Redhead by redhead. And now Fred abandoned him and started to do it on his own. After all, they were _just brothers_. Just the two people who were supposed to be born _as a one_. George felt sad, that the thing he was covering for Fred had been uncovered by Angelina. 

“Mrs Weasley! It’s good to see Frederick in a good shape,” the healer cheered loud enough for George to hear it.

His eyes felt hot and dry, as he heard familiar voices outside the room. One of them made his heart try to race out of his chest. His throat went dry and his eyes hot as if he’s eaten an Pepper Imp. George started to breath deeply to slow his heart rate. He turned to his side to look asleep. He closed his eyes right when someone entered the room. He didn’t have to see the person to know who it was. _The warm halo embraced him, as his stomach felt like filled with a million fireworks he’s made this summer._ His whole body shouted,  _it’s him! It’s him!,_ but George somehow refused to greet Fred.  _He’s not yours anymore_ ,  a voice said inside his head. 

“Georgie?” Fred called him quietly grabbing a chair. George remained silent, blinking fast to stop his eyes from producing the tears. Fred shifted towards him.

“Don’t pretend you’re not awake, when I know you are. I know you too much,” Fred stated patting his back.  George wanted to turn around fast, but Fred hand held him in place. 

“Are you angry with me? Because of Angelina?” Fred asked dimly. He knew George was upset about this, but he didn’t mean to make his twin feel like that. Everybody thought he stopped caring about George? Nobody knew him then. George shook his head for “no”.  _Yes, I am. I can’t be._

“I gave air to her,”  Fred confessed making George turn around slowly looking him in the eyes. His heart raced like crazy jumping out of his chest. 

“Why?” George raised his eyebrows trying not to look too touched. Fred brushed twin’s fringe away from his face. 

“What was I supposed to do seeing you sick? Introduce her to Mom?” he asked as if George nearly died. Fred was the one to lose his kidney. The younger one imaginedMolly hugging Angelina, his twin being so proud and George Weasley standing aside; smiling. _Was his twin gonna dump him like Ginny had dumped her muggle doll dad bought her?_

Fred smiled at him. _If only George knew he didn’t have the smallest interest in Angelina._

_ The fire whiskey Lee brought under his robes was filling his stomach. Jordan abandoned it before leaving for whatever reason, so the older twin took care of if sharing with Angelina. He’d drunk the majority of the small bottle. From time to time his vision was blurring and he thought he was seeing George’s fluffy hair. Once he had even asked “him” if he remembered the time, when they crushed dad’s car. Angelina’d answer “No,” laughing her ass of.  _

_ They were the last to leave the dance floor. Flitwick kicked them off the Great Hall. At the entrance they stood letting snow cover their dizzy heads. Fred’s eyes saw George’s smiled face and he somehow leaned to do whatever came to his drunk mind. The older twin braided his fingers into George’s long hair and kissed him gently, yet showing all his affection. His insides filled themselves with light. All these years he had been secretly wanting to do it. Yet, he didn’t particularly think about this before. Just his body felt, that it is the right moment to do so.  _

_ Fred laughed to himself jumping two stairs at once. Never has he felt such happiness before. He kept on touching his lips, as everyone observed. He made it to their bedroom, opening the door quietly. Lee was asleep and George turned around to see who was coming in. _

_ The sudden realization came to Fred, as his hand let go of the door handle. He hadn’t been kissing George before. His brother was in their room all the time. They hadn’t kissed. And couldn’t do it now. Or ever. Did Georgie even care?  _

_ “I kissed with her,” he told playfully his twin looking into his eyes. It was the last thing he could do to make sure whether his twin cared about his feelings.  _

_ George nodded looking at the floor and turned his back at Fred under his covers. The older one felt terrible, but the sad truth was better than the prettiest lie. He hoped he’d forget it all tomorrow morning. _

_ *** _

“It’s good to see you alright, George,” Arthur said warmly gazing at him. George’s lip corner went up. Meat’s scent was all around the room, as nearly dozen hungry eyes sets were set on Molly’s holding the vessel filled with chicken and sauce. 

“He’s not George, I am,” Fred explained smiling lightly. His halo made George feel better. The twins giggled, as the rest smiled. The were pulling out a good old prank.

“Forgive me, Fred,” Arthur chuckled nervously not really sure whether the twins were going to mind or not. 

“I’m only joking. I am George,” the younger twin said, his smile shining like a _million of diamonds._ Molly smiled to herself poking the meat with her fork. 

Everybody was tired of cleaning and getting rid of plaster and dust, so they kept eating their shepherd’s pie quickly. George glanced around the drapes, the walls and old furniture. He felt like a intruder here. No one to pull a prank on. Bill and Charlie excused themselves going upstairs to finish their room.  Then, Sirius put his fork down.

“Me and Moody decided, that Nymphadora is going to join the Order and live here, with us,” he informed causing Lupin to cringe. Only Fred saw Remus’ nervous gesture. 

“Ginny, could you pass me the potatoes? They’re in the fridge,” Molly asked her only daughter and Ginny stood up to do so. 

George head started to swing and he felt dizziness all around his skull. Fred grabbed his hand.  _Okay?,_ his concerned look asked. The younger twin nodded. _Now I finally can take care of you myself,_ Fred thought. George rested his head onto twin’s shoulder.

“Fred, please help George wash himself. You both need a good sleep, I don’t wanna see you up tomorrow,” she threatened her sons pointing a finger at them. Fred nodded putting a hand around his twin. 

Then, Ginny’s scream tore the silence of the old house. The sound of smashed plate could be heard making twins’ hearts skip a beat. Sirius and Lupin jumped up to the narrow corridor taking out their wands. Molly rushed, Arthur’s hand on her arm. George also wanted to join them, but Fred held his waist.  _It’s okay, stay with me,_ he communicated with him through his thoughts. George felt truly _useless_. Not only wasn’t he able to protect Fred, but also he couldn’t do anything about his own sister. His older twin held him tight to his body, ready to attack. Hermione and Ron moved closer to twins, as they were the only ones left in room to use magic. However, George’s wand was in their room and he was exhausted. Fred felt like an animal protecting its’ cubes. 

Molly stormed into the corridor looking at scared Ginny and then at mirror on the wall, which made her scream herself. Arthur soothed them pulling his wife and daughter into a bone-crushing hug. 

“I-I saw dead Harry,” the Weasley only daughter held onto Molly’s arm. Everyone’s looks were concerned mixed with relief. _It wasn’t true_. Lupin sighed shoving his wand inside his pocket.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I must’ve left the mirror uncovered, while I was cleaning it. This is total opposite of the _Mirror of Erised;_ shows your fears and concerns,” Sirius explained covering the surface with a dark, heavy drapes. Feeling confident enough, twins walked up to them with Hermione and Ron by their side. 

“That’s why it had been covered all the time?” Molly gulped covering Ginny and kicking pieces of the plate with her shoe. 

“I don’t want to scare you at my house. Upstairs there is a similar one, but it is twin to the Mirror of Erised this time,” he said nudging Lupin’s arm. Remus smiled bluntly, T _he more people are here the less your attention I get,_ his eyes said.

“I think it is the best for everyone to go to sleep,” Lupin noticed stretching his sweater’s sleeves upon his wrists. Everyone nodded, as Fred gently pulled George to his side, so his twin could rest his weight on older brother. The younger one hissed to move his exhausted body so fast. Fred felt terrible, that he couldn’t lift his twin up and carry upstairs in his arms. He didn’t want to use magic. _George was not a pile of flesh._

“I have a bad feeling,” Ginny said picking up pieces of the broken plate.

“Me too,” Ron joined scratching his dusty hair. 

***

“I can do it on my own,” George blushed looking away. Why were they uncomfortable, when saw each other naked _plenty of times_? As if one of them was a girl. Being naked was normal, but not when Fred was just about to touch George’s naked stomach or even the groin.  _But George is so... I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop it,_ he thought nervously. He then realize the sense and distracted his mind not thinking much about it. He unzipped his twin’s shirt and George’s lean torso appeared. His twin looked away focusing on the wall-size mirror. The younger one’s reflection his eyes showed was unusual. It didn’t seem like George. It had that _mischievous smile_ he had seen in his dreams. 

“What's with that mirror?” the younger twin asked quietly, as he didn’t saw Fred reflection at all. Fred shrugged taking his brother’s shoes off. George managed to undress his lower parts himself. The older twin was grateful; he wasn’t sure how his _shameless body_ would react. 

“Must be bent or something,” he responded helping him step into the bathtub. He also only saw himself, but his face was _gentler_ somehow. He must be really exhausted not sleeping for a week. 

George’s foot slipped on a wet pile, so he grabbed onto Fred’s waist. The older one felt twin’s warm thigh brush his hip, as the younger clutched on him. The hot blood started to pump in his veins.  _So close._ He was ashamed of how his body reacted to his twin. 

“Careful, Georgie,” he said softly, helping twin’s fragile body to sit. His younger twin smiled brightly putting arms over his knees. Fred smiled back, blush all over his cheeks. He reached for shampoo bottle. The older boy started to wash George’s hair as he used to do _for years._

“If I shampooed my hair, it wouldn’t be as silky and soft as you make it,” George noticed closing his swollen eyes.

Fred wanted to be kids again. Not to worry about George’s life again. To bathe with him  _naked _ again. Not to see his exhausted body letting anything the older twin wants. What if someone got use of it? The older one would have _killed them._

He _loved_ seeing his twin’s naked body somehow. He never wondered about it. It was just lean and elegant; pleasure to watch. But now it was _thin as hell_ and weak; he was afraid the smallest touch would make George fall apart. He felt _guilty_ ; because of him his twin lacks a part of his body. As if Fred approached and whipped the kidney off his body. 

“How are you feeling, Freddie?” the younger one asked feeling his body was not conscious anymore and just did it biggest effort to talk with his twin. Just feeling Fred’s delicate touch washing his body. He stayed awake only for his twin’s presence. His body screamed,  _let me rest and heal myself!_ ,  but he refused. He wanted to be with Fred _all the time he could._

“ _I just got an adult knee,_ ” Fred joked with tired face. George frowned.

“Come again?” he asked smiling weakly, lifting his leg to help his twin clean it. 

“I got an adult knee, since I have lost my kidney. _Get it_?” Fred laughed realizing what he had just said. George remained silent, as lukewarm water was dripping from his red hair.  _Pathetic_ , George’s eyes said rolling themselves. He smiled though. 

_ I could wear all the Malfoys’ diamonds, but nothing will make me shine more than your smile.  _

“What are we gonna do _then_?”  George asked looking in Fred’s big eyes. The older one already knew what was it about. The look in younger’s eyes meant only _one thing_. George was slowly massaging his knees, as Fred watched. 

“We’ll move out on _our_ own,” he said making George’s heart rush like crazy. He grabbed his slippy hand resting his forehead on twin’s wet hair.

“But Freddie, what would people say? _That we’re not normal_. We are pretty popular and decent looking. It’d be damn weird if we didn’t end up with wives,” George gulped looking at Fred with semi closed eyelids. Fred rinsed the bubbles of twin’s chest smirking.

“Well, we haven’t been normal since day one.” 

After a while, the water was getting cold and Fred was worried if George wouldn’t get sick. He wrapped him in towels, still amazed by his own force and body capability. George’s weak body, his lack of humour and energy caused Fred’s power to double itself. He needed to do it all for him. His brother needed him. Fred put underwear on George and his twin grabbed his arm, as their walked slowly to their room. Maybe outside they were the same, but they both have changed over the past few weeks. Not only psychically, but they were _ aware_ . Aware, that no brothers are that close to each other. Aware, that no brothers _sleep together or bathe together at the age of seventeen._ Aware, that _George was a shadow to Fred’s light._

When they finally got to the beds Fred had connected before, George’s limbs wrapped themselves around twin’s body, as he lost consciousness. Fred’s half was lying in the air, but it would break his heart to jerk his twin awake. He kept on caressing George’s wet red hair. He lied on the bed watching his brother sleeping peacefully. The younger one’s chest was rising slowly, as his steady heartbeat kept playing its melody into Fred’s ears. _George was safe, sleeping calmly next to him._ Nothing’s was happening. So why Fred felt such a longing? When he was slipping into darkness, he heard some voices outside the room. 

“...I told you. When Fred was born he cried that much it was breaking my heart. Then George was born and he immediately stopped. _I felt like he had his angel then,_ ” Molly said quietly opening the bedroom’s door. 

Fred looked to the left to see George sleeping calmly against his chest. _She was right._ It was George who had been the angel all that time. He buried his nose in twin’s hair, as his heart started to rush blood into his veins. Even after a sleepless week, he didn’t feel like sleeping at all. George was here and and they had so much to talk about. His twin kicked in his sleep, as Fred hissed, but didn’t even move. Instead, his hand went through silky read hair. 

_ George will find a girl and move out. They’re gonna have sex and kids, locked inside their house. And Fred’ll be watching the building outside. Why?  _ His heart ached, as he felt hopelessness burn a hole in his heart. He started falling asleep to the sound of brother’s soft breathing.

***

Fred heard a quiet sobs escaping girl’s throat. He opened his eyes slowly to see George turning on his back; he was slowly registering all his limbs and senses. _It wasn’t a dream_. The cry was real. What was going on? 

_ Ginny.  _

He rubbed his itchy eyes, as his mouth opened itself to let him yawn. His twin clutched onto his hand continuously, snoring quietly into the pillow. The sheets _stank_. It wasn’t a bad smell, but it was  _unfamiliar_ and Fred didn’t like it. _Where their checked sheets had been_? The ones’ scent of clay and paper; full of pumpkin pastries’ crumbs. The mattress was silky and no left overs were stabbing his back. 

The cries surged, so he wrestled to carefully got out of George’s embrace without waking his brother. His arms felt sore after carrying his twin around all day, but he didn’t mind. He was the oldest of them three and he had to be _strong._ He tucked his twin in with plain blanket and carefully walked out the room. It wasn’t that hard considering George was _the heavy sleeper of them two._ The door cracked behind Fred’s back.  His bare feet made their way through cold planks to the bathroom.

Ginny’s thin figure was standing in front of the mirror, her forehead pressed tightly against the dirty surface. Tears kept streaming down her face, as she gently touched the surface with a palm of her hand. Fred gulped loudly slowly approaching her, as his feet made a sound. She turned around with red eyes and wet face. 

“He was right. It shows what I love the most,” she choked out wiping her face with a sleeve of her pyjamas. 

Fred felt the wave of realization pulling him down to his knees.  _No, it can’t be. Why? Why? Sirius didn’t talk only about the romantic one, right? No. _ He felt his heart beating that fast it became hurtful and his throat choking him. He felt pure terror in his veins.  _ Why he had to destroy everything, when it’s been so good?  _ He swore he heard his twin’s bubble laugh ringing in his ear like a thousand little bells.  _If he won’t think of it will it go away?_ He couldn’t evince himself in front of Ginny though. He clenched his jaw stopping his eyes from producing tears. Couldn’t even bring two thoughts together. _Total mess._ Fred truly felt _awakened_ , there was no sign of sleep on his face. 

_Oh, Merlin_.

Now it all made sense. Why he had been like this. Trying to make George feel _jealous_. Dancing with Angelina _imagining_ it was George. Thinking about his brother _when drunk_. While _bathing_. How his body reacted to _naked_ George. Why he wanted to be so _close_ with him.

He felt utterly disgusted with himself. _How could anyone be like that? Maybe he should really hook up with Angelina?_

Fred pulled his sister into a tight hug, letting her tears wet his t-shirt. They both needed it. Ginny’s small hands gripped his back. The older twin felt _lifeless_ for real.  _How long will he be able to hide it?_ Before George _is going to hate him_? Before he _regrets they know each other_?  Fred felt a tear going down his face. He just hoped his twin won’t come up with pouring _veritaserum_ into his tea. 

“How come who I love and concern about the most, is the same person?” she whispered. The twin felt as if someone charmed Ginny to feel the same. _He loved George. He loved George with all his young heart, but also couldn’t stand him_. If something would happen to his twin, he would star to hate himself. The feeling could _destroy them both_. Both emotionally and psychically. They were brothers that are suppose to have some fun and fight as Bill and Charlie did. _Not to sleep together at the edge of twenty. They shared the same blood._ _Maybe it was just a phase. Maybe if he praised Merlin it’d go away? And they could joke around together._

At least Ginny had a chance. The smallest, but she did.  _Fred didn’t_.  He opened his mouth to say it, but Ginny anticipated him.

“What does she have that I lack? What’s so special about her? Am I worse, because we’re poor?” Ginny sobbed, as Fred’s arms tightened around her. He was afraid he’d break her ribs. 

He felt the same towards George. He wanted his twin to be Fred’s always. Never to find a girl he likes, so the older brother wouldn’t play _the starring role._

His body filled with panic, as he realized the love he felt for George was exactly the same as the one Ginny felt for Potter. It was not a usual crush. If you like someone and they’re taken, then you forget. If you love someone, you have to learn to lose. Fred couldn’t afford to learn to lose. _How could you learn to lose your second half?_

_ If only he knew he had his love by his side all his life.  _

“You know, you can always try. There is some stuff that can’t be fixed anyway,” he said getting it off his chest. He finally understood he fancied George. His personality. He didn’t want  him  as _a body to use._ He wanted to be with person like him. _How come no girl he knew could hold a candle to George?_ _Fred was_ _ a real life optimist, no total narcissist  __after all._ He was still a young brat. He may be thinking one thing and then other the very next day. _Maybe all this wakefulness has been his dream since the beginning?_

“How do you know he’s the  one?  Are you sure he’ll still love you even if you become _all wrinkled and old_?” he asked trying to release the tension patting her back. She huffed distancing herself from Fred. They both felt _ridiculous_. Potter had been at their house every single Christmas and summer. George had been with Fred every single waking moment for seventeen years. 

“I know he doesn’t love her, but I want him to kiss me just once,” she confessed turning to the mirror again.

“Just once?” he asked scratching his head. Ginny nodded. If it was Fred it wouldn’t be enough. He wished to show George how _precious_ his twin was. If only it was possible.  _No, that’s sick_.  Fred felt nauseous. 

Ginny approached to the cabinet to take out a towel to dry her face. Fred walked up to the mirror. He looked away while hanging the curtain back onto cornice. 

“Go back to your bed,” Fred said covering the mirror with curtain. George’s eyes looked at him with _love_ this time. He was just going to pretend it was _all a dream._ A sick dream his pride would never let him forget.  Ginny said a quiet _ Goodnight _ and left him alone with his thoughts. Fred knew she was thinking she made a fool out of herself. She didn’t in his eyes; _he was greater fool than her innocence._

_ But was loving someone sick? Someone who was your best friend, brother and soulmate? Yes, it was.  _

It happened because they spent so much time together? He knew they were good-looking, tall guys. He started to walk to their bedroom to join his twin and wake up from the weirdest dream he’s ever had. He then stopped with his hand on door handle. Fred looked right and left. He turned on his heel to the bathroom’s direction. A one million of self-criticizing thoughts came through his mind. If everybody was sleeping and nobody will know, then he won’t be that bad. After all these years, he couldn’t restrain himself.

He closed the door behind himself, scared whether he had woken anybody. His breath short, as he slowly walked up to the surface. _Wrong. Disgusted. Sick._

_ What if somebody finds out? Then Fred’s out of the game.  _

He didn’t know why, but he started undressing himself.  He felt _shameless._ How he even dared to think _these?_ Once he was fully undressed, he reached for the curtain. 

George appeared to his eyes, smiling and laughing. His hands clasped; scratching his thumb as always, when free. He was _naked, his body shimmering slightly as if covered in glitter_. If _amortentia_ made people think and see _these things,_ it meant he has been drinking it every day. He prayed it was an odd dream and he was going to tell Georgie about it tomorrow day. 

_ If he truly loved George and wanted the best for him, then it was going to be the first and the last time. _

He leaned and gently kissed the cool surface. His body felt somewhat _right_. His head felt _sick and spinning_. He was afraid he was gonna break into crying, but it seemed George’s reflection closed its’ eyes letting Fred kiss it. He put both his hands on the mirror. The Weasley twin knew he was sick and wrong, but he was just a boy going through the adolescence. He wasn’t a bad guy. He didn’t mean to hurt George in any way.  _It_ just happened. He felt as if someone put a steak before tiger’s cage. His body screamed, but his mind fell silent. 

_ I know it’s true, George is sleeping, but I kissed him once upon a dream.  _


	5. Obliviate

Rapid footsteps outside the room jolted Fred awake, when his eyes fluttered to see the room in the dim light, which was let through by a pair of heavy, off-black drapes. He slowly turned on his back and then to his other side. He saw George’s naked back and his heart started to rush blood into his veins as if he was drowning or choking. He truly felt like choking, indeed. Feeling his twin’s warmth made him breathless. His brother turned to lie on his back. It must’ve been at least noon, because he didn’t hear Molly’s breakfast preparation process. 

_He was right. It shows what I love the most._

Was it only a dream? Or did it happened for real? 

_ I kissed him once upon a dream. _

Fred kept looking at George’s pale face. The older one’s body begged to lean and show affection to these rosy lips. His brother, the person who will never return his feeling. The were plenty of girls ready to stand on their heads to date Fred. He didn’t fancy them. His heart cared only for one person. 

_ If it was reality, may it finally become a dream at the end of the day. Let it dream finally be not a dream. _

He focused on a scar on George’s lower back. His heart ached shamelessly remembering all the pain and misery his twin went through to give him a part of his body. If his twin was his healer, that meant Fred was lame. He felt broken like a dropped statuette. Once pretty and beguiling to look at, now in pieces and useless. The older twin moved closer to his brother so that his chin would rest on George’s head. Why? Well, it was pretty clear why. They’ve been popular since day one; tall. He knew Ron’s shorter and stockier figure wasn’t that nice to look at as their ones. Fred was aware, that when on the pitch, every girl was looking at them. 

“Why? Are they going to put him in Azkaban?” Ginny’s mumbled voice cried in panic. Molly said something, but it wasn’t audible for Fred’s ears.  _Who? Who’s he?_

Fred sat up, but it didn’t help much. He decided to wake George up. Twins had one method they used to wake the younger one every time. Fred squished brother’s hand saying  Georgie loudly. After a brief moment, the younger’s eyelids blinked and he smiled seeing Fred next to him. First rays of the sun made his chest glow in the dark room. The older one’s heart skipped a beat.

“Seems someone got up to something,” the older one blurted out, as he tried to hide his savage heartbeat. He wasn’t sure if the situation with the mirror was a dream or not. He wanted it to be just a phase. A phase that will change itself to another. 

Someone knocked to their door, as twins jumped up. Fred quickly stood up not wanting anybody to comment on them sleeping together. He’s had enough mother’s words of how old they were to do such stuff. George put his t-shirt on.

„George? Fred? Dress up, Harry will be there a few minutes, will you give him something to sleep?” Lupin asked peeking inside the room. George’s eyes became as wide as a two pumpkin tarts. 

“So what? Who’s got inflated this time?” Fred joked bubbly causing his twin to burst into laughter. Remus chuckled nervously, shifting from one leg to another, putting his hand inside jeans’ pockets.

“No one is sent to Azkaban for inflating their aunt,” the older male remarked smiling at them, “I think you two had a good sleep. It’s ten already.”

Fred smiled fuzzily to himself. Either had he a good sleep or had been awake all night. Too bad to be true. 

“Ten, in the morning?” asked George, curiosity filing his low voice. Lupin shook his head and noticed the connected beds. He wished he had someone to hold onto.

“You boys’ve slept all day long,” he told them. It’d explain his usual sweater instead of pyjamas. George seemed to look thousand times better, which made Fred feel more alive than he had been before. When going out the room, he noticed their old Exploding Snap game he gave George for their eleventh birthday. It was on the shelf, all faded and crinkled, but was the best thing in the world. Twins used it nearly everyday. He wondered about it. 

When did  _it_ happen? It took a _day or maybe years?_

_ “Fred, George!” Molly shouted running after them in front of the Burrow. April has barely begun and the weather wasn’t that warm. Twins went out without their jackets! George stuck his tongue at her, as Fred’s hand dragged him across the garden. The first raindrops hit the snow on the ground, as daffodils made their way through the white surface. The twins hid in the bushes behind the shed. George leant over the wooden wall and Fred held his knee to keep the balance. Aunt Muriel and all their brothers and sister were inside, eating Molly’s pumpkin pie. They saw an owl from Hogwarts delivering their letters from the corners of their eyes. _

_ They crouched close to each other. Fred’s butterflies danced in his stomach, as he felt and heard George’s sweet breath on his face. The younger one cheeks were blushed and a delicate mist was coming off his lips. He coughed, but Fred didn’t move away.  _

_ “Happy birthday, Freddie,” said George happily giving Fred a chocolate frog. The older one smiled widely tracing his fingers on the silver packaging. “Thank you,” his eyes said. He took something out his pocket. _

_ Fred handed his younger brother a small violet box. It wasn’t much bigger than his small hand. They listened to Percy admonishing Bill and Charlie quarreling over the last piece of birthday cake from afar. _

_ “Happy birthday, Georgie,” Fred said grabbing the other one’s hand. He felt warm although he had only a sweater on. George turned the box in his hand. His cold fingers with a struggle opened it. A new set of Exploding Snap appeared to his amber eyes. They became wide and a big smile crept on his face. _

_ “Freddie, it must’ve been expensive,” the younger one said touched yet excited shoving the cards in the box again. It was, considering twins made no money and they’ve just turned eleven today.  _

_ “I asked Bill to buy it. I had to clean their room everyday in this week in return,” the older one said proudly watching his brother reaction.  _

_ They smiled at each other. George lent over as Fred felt something lightening up in him and instinctively shut his eyes tightly. The butterflies in his stomach has gone wild. The younger kissed him softly, his pink lips barely touching his ones. Fred moved closer, bumping into his nose. Their teeth touched for a second, but George’s already moved away. The younger one tasted like cinnamon and pumpkin. It was short, but felt wonderful. The older one didn’t want it to end, he felt safe. Fred was that warm he wanted to take his sweater off. They remained silent, listening to each other’s heartbeats. Fred wanted his twin to kiss him again. Was it a kiss? If not, what then? He reached his hand to touch George’s warm lips. A bee buzzed behind Fred’s back. _

_ “Fred, George?” Arthur called, his footsteps getting louder. _

“Freddie?” George asked touching his arm. He shook his head,  _alright._ He must’ve been daydreaming for a while now. The assembly waited to start on particularly slow. Twins were bored out of their skulls. They managed to convince their mother to let them go out tonight for a bit. Hermione and Ron sat in the corner, the youngest Weasley son consuming another cookie from the tray, as the girl swatted his arm annoyingly. 

“How can you eat this calm?” she asked harshly in parental tone, grabbing the tray and putting it away. Ron shrugged, his Adam’s apple moving, as he swallowed the last cookie he got to eat.

Ginny was spacing out biting her nails. She already knew Molly threw away every single one of her letters to Harry. _Why?_ Why even her wanted them apart? Was everybody against them for real? She started shedding tears soundlessly, so Hermione took her arm and they went upstairs followed by Ron. 

“He have to act quickly if they have already started,” Remus stated gesturing over the table. Sirius shook his head.

“Merlin, I’ve had enough of this old, dull house!” she bawled angrily pounding the oak, faded table. Everybody thought the same, but nobody dare to said it out loud.  _It is our duty_ ,  Fred thought bitterly to himself. 

“There are no windows, we all will go mad!”she continued throwing Sirius’ hand of her shoulder. Twins’ hearts went out to her. Being here more than a week seemed hard enough. Bill rested his elbow on Charlie’s shoulder. Fred felt his stomach knotting itself, as his thoughts once again went off straight to George.  He was afraid he won’t be able to hide it for long. It felt like a caged Hungarian Horntail. He could keep it for now, but from time to time it’d breathe fire and it may hurt people around. Behind the charmed iron bars the fire could still cause pain.

_He didn’t want George to get burned._

He knew he couldn’t control it or get rid of it for now. This thing was wild and it seemed it was growing up in him since the very long time. He could whether ignore it (impossible) or learn to lose. Was it possible to learn to lose if you have nothing already? He even tried avoiding eye contact to make it look less suspicious. He saw the distance hurting his twin, but it was the only way out. Usually, when Fred wanted to avoid something at home, then he wouldn’t spend much time here. But how to avoid a person that makes a pair with you?

Finally, the main door opened and Moody’s cane clattered against the long-serving planks. Kingsley walked slowly behind him followed by Nymphadora, her eyes already on Lupin, who looked away at instant. Potter came in last, nearly knocked out by Molly’s bone-crushing hug. He look thin and pale, nothing odd, he had a trial. 

“Harry! You look scrawny, I’m gonna feed you well,” she squished him hard enough for his bones to made a quiet sound, “You need to wait for assembly to end though.” Harry smiled weakly to her. 

“Alright, let’s start,” Arthur said gesturing the twins away. They sighed, but Fred grabbed George’s warm hand and the boys apparated upstairs. 

George crossed arms across his chest leaning on the balustrade. He and Fred wanted to be treated equally with the rest of Order’s members. Their mother or father would kick them out every single interesting assembly. Bill and Charlie would tell them the crucial ones, but it wasn’t enough. They wanted to be a part of it like anybody else. Not only part-time members who had nothing to tell. 

_ What if you actually were the only danger jeopardizing him?  _

The older twin cringed, as the thought of him being the danger to Georgie cam across his mind. What was wrong about loving him? He wouldn’t literally do anything without George’s permission, ever. His twin grabbed his hand and dragged him to their room. When the door closed behind them, the younger one pulled Fred into a tight hug, resting his weight on twin’s body. Fred hugged him with one hand around his neck only. He was afraid even the slightest touch will give the game away. 

“What’s wrong?” George asked softly against his neck. Fred shrugged,  _ I would like to know too. _

He was fucking ashamed of himself. _Why him? Why him if everything he had was George? They were so good._ The thing was that it was the past. The past Georgie loved him the present one is confused and the future one will hate him. He looked away focusing on the Exploding Snap he received a kiss for. George pulled him even tighter, his hips on Fred’s ones. Fred felt a warm sensation flowing down his stomach to his abdomen, as his throat felt dry. His member twitched and his eyes filled themselves with this dark feeling he had been hiding. He pushed his twin away hesitantly. Fred was that furious he wanted to cry. Well, he was still an adolescent boy, whose body did whatever it wanted.

“Did I do anything wrong?” George asked playing with his hands. They did it so often it would be odd to say  no. The younger one needed the comfort only his brother could give him. Fred shook his head.  _Look what have you done,_ he thought to himself. He grabbed twin’s hand brushing his thumb against brother's wrist. 

“Just nervous,” he replied giving him a cracked smile. George’s arms wrapped themselves around him again. He needed to be strong, for George. After a while of each other’s warmth, they immediately felt better. Fred managed to get rid of the stiffness in his groin and his twin melted inside his arms. They needed to be strong and take care of each other. They had to act  now. 

“ _You heat me up and cool me down as pumpkin pastries do_ ,”  George said lightly causing Fred to burst up. His mood improved a little, but he needed to constantly keep on controlling his body and its reactions. He wished it would go away as soon as it came. 

They heard someone walking upstairs, as Kreacher made a comment about the person’s raven hair. Twins nodded smirking at each other. They apparated in the girls’ room. Before Hermione, Ron and Harry inside would notice, they put their big hands onto Harry shoulders making him jump. Ron shrieked in unexpectedness. 

“Harry! Thought we heard your dulcet tones...,” George purred, as Fred bit his lip not to burst out in laughter. Hermione rolled her eyes.

“...don’t bottle it up though, mate. Let it out,” Fred ended his sentence as usual. After all they went through it felt like a pure bliss. Harry half smiled at them looking into their big, amber eyes. Ron shifted on his feet. 

“Anyway if you all done shouting...” George started mysteriously looking at Fred from the corner of his eye. His older twin brushed the palm of his hand gently with his pinky finger. He felt shivers coming down his spine.

“...do you want to know something a little more interesting?” he ended the sentence with absent voice. George scratched his neck to get rid of the feeling. Hermione lifted her eyebrows expectantly.

_ “Give it back,” George said reaching for his wand. Fred playfully wiggled it above his head. The older one held twin’s hands in place, so that his brother wouldn’t get it. They fought for a while, before Fred giggled bubbly and took off in the lake’s direction.  _

_“ You git!” George shouted playfully, as he chased his brother. His pace was fast, as moist air filled his nose and the younger one’s feet sprang from the freshly wetted ground. Fred was faster than him, better shape, also giggling didn’t help reaching his older twin. The cookies mum’s made them mashing themselves inside his pocket. _

_“ Freddie!” he called him, as his young voice echoed in old park they ran trough. They kept going through it for a while until the clear lake appeared in front of their eyes. Nice breeze brushed twins’ faces and sun shone above their red locks. Fred stopped just before the water surface and turned around to George. _

_ The sun shining over his pale face making him look beguiling if only George knew its’ meaning back then. The younger twin jumped to him and clawed his wand back. The older one laughed, but couldn’t restrain himself from jumping on his twin and in one moment pinning him down to the ground, as George’s soft back hit the jagged dirt. He lost his breath, as Fred’s weight pushed him to the ground. No one could see them, no one gave a fuck about them. The younger’s t-shirt pulled up, exposing his lean stomach. George sighed feeling the pressure on his abdomen.  _

_ The wheat stalks surrounding them started to sway making a quiet sound, as wind went through them. Twins could hear each other’s breathing and their bodies’ warmth was greater than the sun’s. George’s head lied on the soft wheat and Fred sat on his twin’s stomach holding his hands above the younger’s head. Those ocean, big eyes looked at him and he for the first time felt warm “there”. His blood started flowing down to his groin and closeness of each other making his stomach sick. He then stuck his finger inside brother’s ear, as George laughed, his wand rolling away in the grass. _

“Mate?” Fred asked holding the Extendable Ear’s cord in his hand, as Hermione and Harry leaned over the balustrade. Ron was biting his nails numb. George shook his head. It was the past, now they have to learn to live an adolescent life.  _Lives._ Two separate lives, they were two people.

Ginny peeked out of her room, noticing Harry. Her face shone so bright twins were amazed it was possible. Then Hermione said something, as Harry giggled causing the youngest Weasley daughter to stop in the middle and gaze at them, her chin down. Twins cringed, as they wanted to make house elves cook Granger for dinner. 

_She doesn’t deserve that_ ,  George looked at Fred rising his brows. _He’s not that good for her though,_ the older one responded. They smiled crackly in unison. Ron flinched, when blood appeared on his finger and stopped biting his nails.

“Hi, Harry,” Ginny approached them, smiling fairly to them. Her dull expression made Potter want to investigate it. 

“You bloody cat! Stop it,” Hermione growled at Crookshanks. The cat played with the ear, making the voices inaudible. Fred started pulling the cord up, but the creature teared it apart. Sirius’ last words could be heard. The assembly was over.

***

George was spacing out during whole dinner. Molly kept on throwing meat pieces onto his plate,as he absentmindedly ate them all. Fred smiled at her, he was glad his twin was eating well. Ginny kept on digging in the goulash with her fork listening to Harry and Hermione’s fifth year concerns. Twins would always joke, that the encounter with basilisk caused her mean looks to become deadly. Ron was stuffing his mouth with mashed potatoes, as Bill and  Charlie argued over the last quidditch game.  George felt a lump down his throat and he was sure it was not a piece of bone in the sauce. The younger twin felt like throwing up, so he stood up quickly making everybody look at him.

“What’s up?” Bill asked raising his head high, causing his red hair fall into the thick sauce. Ginny gave him concerned yet dull gaze, but George has left already. Fred’s eyes followed him, as his insides screamed _ Go after him! Your Georgie!, _ but something was holding him back. He couldn’t show him too much affection or else someone would find out about his madness. None of his brothers stood up; not Charlie, nor Bill or Ron. Finally after a long few seconds, which felt like forever, Arthur asked Fred to go look after George. 

It felt safe to go now, as he was asked to. It felt like burning a hole inside his heart, but there was no other way out dealing with this  thing.  He walked the narrow corridor, his shoes scrapping against the dirty carpets. Black Family portraits making fun of him every step he took. _What was that different with Fred and George?_ What they’ve done to go through this?

When he finally opened the bathroom’s door, George was sitting on the bathtub’s edge, hands clasped between his knees. 

“Funny, isn’t it?” he asked looking Fred in the eyes. He was truly devastated, looked like a bag of bones, his then rosy cheeks were becoming hollow. His skin still pale, but almost translucent. 

_“Just one-horse chequers ready to die for the Boy Who Lived_ ,” the younger twin ended his sentence bitter way. Before Fred could even think, he stood there, holding his brother’s thin figure in his warm arms. 

“I’m here,” he told George, as his twin pushed his face into his polo shirt, “No need to be scared,” he added holding back his own tears. He won’t do it. He won’t shut out to George. _Ever._

_What will happen if his twin would find out? How much he’ll hate Fred? At home there won’t be a place for one of them anymore. He’ll live on the streets until he dies._

“I’m proud of you,” he whispered caressing George’s locks. The younger one raised his eyebrows. That did not sound like Freddie. When did he become that serious? 

“Of what?” he asked carefully not really sure whether it was a joke or not. Didn’t seem like a one. Fred sighed moving away. Twins’ halo of safety tumbled down. 

“Of everything you’ve ever done for me,” they looked in each other’s eyes and drank the safety aura in. George took Fred’s hand into his one, as the older twin flinched.  _Please don’t do this or else I won’t be able to stop,_ he begged to himself feeling his chest ache. 

“Wanna go out?” he proposed wanting to prevent George from touching him.  _Making him a sicko_.  His brother gave Fred a concerned look,  Now?  The older one nodded.  _Why not? Let’s get out this dull house_ ,  he wiggled his eyebrows feeling empty. His younger twin offered him his wrist, as Fred felt the warmth filling him and the sharpness in bellybutton grew stronger.

They apparated to their room, scaring Molly, who was cleaning its floor. She went out with a bucket of dirty water, commenting on their recklessness. Fred approached the old wardrobe, opening it wide. George stood behind his back, leaning his chin on twin’s shoulder. The older one quickly went down to stop feeling brother’s sweet breath on his neck. Their clothes appeared, actually only a few, but they didn’t complain about it. They were the same and it was enough to make them feel good about them. Fred touched along the planks till he found the certain one. He tapped his fingers against it until they heard a crack. George gasped, smile creeping on his face. A line of fire-whiskeys was tucked underneath the planks. 

“Methinks Sirius knew how to run the show,” George giggled taking two bottles from Fred. The older one smirked trying not to think about the beguiling body standing next to him,  needing his touch.

“Yeah, I discovered it when I was preparing the room,” Fred said closing the gap between planks and then closing the wardrobe. 

“I want to drink with you, but we have a job to be done...” George started his sentence, but Fred wouldn’t let him end it. Instead, he just shrugged.

“...There are at least five adults at this house to do it. Can’t we be just  _reckless_ young boys  once?” the older one ended the sentence with the confidence only Fred Weasley had. They hid the whiskey in their pockets and opened the room’s door. 

Twins went down the stairs by Remus, who turned around after them. The twins’ eyes were shining again.  _Something was off_. Ron crossed their way asking where are they going, but Fred and George just put a hood over his head with force and stormed out the building accompanied with Bill’s  _nice._

_***_

August was declining and their thin shirts seemed enough. They went down the Upper Street passing the muggles. Nobody paid attention to them and they somehow felt like a part of the society, although their wands poked their chests under their shirts. Nothing could stop them now. None of Death Eaters or teachers. Not even mum. They were young and it was all that mattered. Fred’s arm embraced George’s shoulders, as they kept walking down the street chatting and laughing.Twins didn’t care about the destination, they just followed the road in front of them. 

_ George felt as if raised from the death.  _

The sun started to set, but the warmth was still there and nobody seemed to care. They spotted a mother with twins walking by each side of herself. Fred’s hand squished George’s arm. They wondered whether the muggle twins faced the same issues as them. If it wasn’t pathetic enough, the Weasleys envied them. Nobody asked the muggle twins to do the adults’ job. The buildings were dull, not moving, not colorful, not magical; yet they were nice to look at. They stopped sniffing cooked waffles and George gazed at the stall, where a tanned girl their age was covering the waffle with strawberries talking to an older woman in sundress.

“Wanna one? I’ll buy it for you,” Fred suggested feeling George’s cinnamon breath. His twin shook his head. The summer breeze blowed the fringe off his face. They were meaningless in the muggle street, but it felt wonderful somehow. Once they didn’t need to feel like heroes anymore. Twins were doing things only because of each other, but none of them would confess it. They didn’t expect the applause, the fun was more important.

“We don’t have any money,” he explained dragging Fred forward.  _We do_ ,  Fred’s eyes said _._ _Not that money_ ,  George rolled his amber ones. Fred shrugged giggling and they walked on. He looked innocent enough for a someone who fought a war inside his mind. 

The twins felt like flying overhead, even Fred’s heavy thoughts couldn’t bring him down. They reached a small, gravel beach and George looked at the boat going on the water, as people leaned over the guardrail. How was it actually working? The elder woman with a dog gave them a smile. Why did families like the Malfoys would neglect muggleborn wizards? What was the difference?

Soon they were alone, only them on a small beach. Twins sat on the cold gravel and look along themselves. They leaned closer to warm each other. Fred realized he has been gazing at his twin for a while, before his twin smiled at him. He wondered when was the day, when George’s face blew his mind. He unscrewed the bottle then took a big sip. The older one grimaced, as he felt fire going down his young throat, but it wasn’t as hot as the thought they were here alone, drinking. He handed the bootle over to George, who took two long sips. The younger one panted causing Fred’s muscles to stiff. He wished he would be drunk already. They remembered all their hot summer nights spent together, playing like a children despite not being them anymore. Fred wished he would be the child Fred for one night more.

“I remember the day we met in April,” George blurted out giggling softly against Fred’s shoulder. The older one smiled taking another sip, absentmindedly taking a few gravel granules in his second hand. They never parted; they meant to be a pair. There was no Fred without George as there is no moon without the sun. Seemed like a one big design. 

“First thing I remember is lying next to you, as mom wakes us up,” Fred confessed feeling his mind wandering away a bit. He remembered holding George’s hand and Molly’s smiling faceabove the cradle. His twin grabbed his hand drinking the last few sips.

They sat drinking until they opened the second bottle with the last ray of the sun. Cars far away kept making choked noises and there was nothing more than the twins. City lights blinded them, but it wasn’t enough to make them leave. 

“Would you?” George asked slurring into Fred’s arm. Fred started to regret the whole drinking. His brother’s warmth escalated and it was impossible to resist this soft body of George’s. 

_Do it, do it, do it, do it_ ,  he kept thinking, but he pushed these thoughts away. He wanted no trouble, although the hole in his heart grew bigger every George’s breath.

“Would what? Come again,” he said quietly looking intensively at his shoes. George sighed and then repeated the sentence causing Fred to go mad. 

“Would you still love me, when I’m no longer your brother?” he asked and Fred finally understood the difficulty of the life itself. Twins were as honest as the August’s day was long. George closed his eyes putting a hand on his cheek; his long eyelashes brushed his wrist.

“I would. Even if you eventually become an old prick, all wrinkled,” he answered causing George to look him in the eyes. His heart rushed as if a million fireworks were lighted at the moment. His eyes glowed and he felt as if they were the lucky ones finally. Maybe Malfoy was rich and girls were interested in Potter, the Chosen One. Maybe they weren’t as handsome as some boys here and there, but they were  _the lucky ones to have each other_. 

“ _And how do you like me now?_ ”  George asked putting his hand on Fred’s knee.  _I wished you loved me at once as in that dream,_ he thought to himself. The older one stood up offering his hand to George. The younger took his hand and they stood unsteadily on the hard gravel. 

Fred saw George looking at him, the brotherly way.  _It is not his problem you went mad. Well, it wasn’t his fault either._

The nearby pub’s windows opened wide as a muggle pop poured out loudly enough to be audible all street long. How come muggle things were different yet the same?

Fred grabbed George’s waist and pulled him close. George tripped on the gravel, laughing, but threw his arms over the older’s neck. The gravel, dirty beach was theirs.  _The world was in their hands._

They laughed swinging chaotically, as George tried to sing along with the muggle lady causing an old woman to open a window and scold them loud enough they could mistake her as Molly. 

“What could they do to us? The shit-eaters?” Fred enunciated confidently dropping down the empty bottle causing the small fire to lit. They giggled, as someone in the building nearby asked what was the reek. Once the fire was out, George threw himself into Fred’s tight embrace. 

“I’m so sick of that house’s gloom,” he complained inhaling Fred’s body organic scent. His brother said it won’t go on for long, when his younger twin kissed his jaw, turning the older one on. Fred hid it well enough adjusting his jeans. Drunk George was the Dangerous George. The danger meant exposing his feelings and it meant  _the end of the game_.  They grabbed onto each other, as their hands stabbed themselves into each twin’s arm. The water laved the gravel throwing some shells onto it. The music stopped and they were covered in the silence and each other. 

“Don’t leave me now. After it all we’ve been trough,” George pleased choking out against Fred’s soft skin. The older one shook his head _in disbelief._ How come they wanted the same thing? It was just because they’ve been accustomed to each other for more than seventeen years? That was it? They were just drunk either way. 

“You can be mine full-time, mate,” Fred assured him circling his hand on George’s back. _Was it really no one to hear him out? Even his own twin? Surreal enough._ He sighed, as the vision of the high building blurred slightly. He felt his brother sigh, giving a hint of the hearing out need.

“Mom wants us to work at Ministry as Percy and dad. I don’t wanna do this, it’ll kill us,” George spilled all the tea he had. It wasn’t like Fred wouldn’t like to hear him out. 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Fred repeated ironically causing George to snort, but yet with a smirk on his skinny face. The waves kept making the sound the twins knew well. _Wish they could be lying in that wheat again._ _ Wish he could sit on his brother’s stomach again. _ He shook his head, changing his thoughts’ subject in his mind. 

“Let’s make something of our own,” the older one suggested as if he was suggesting buying a chocolate frog. George’s eyebrows went up.

“I love you with my heart, mate, but I won’t spawn you any children. Don’t you misunderstand me,” the younger one said blushing, as Fred blurted out into laughter.

“We could produce babies and sell them,” his amber eyes shone with star-like light. George was afraid he would fall into them and drown. Rustle in twins’ ears increased.

“Mom would confiscate them all, the business crisis ready,” the younger one stated smiling at the thought. Fred moved closer to his twin.

“Not when we live on our own,” he whispered resting his forehead against George’s one. The younger one gasped, but closed his eyes. Feeling Fred’s sweet breath on his cheeks felt magical. He wanted to kiss his brother again as he did on their eleventh birthday, that time he had been  _sober._ Freddie’s body was a magnet, but his mind pulling him back. 

“But can we afford to?” he asked truly concerned as drunk and reckless he was. Fred frowned, deeply concerned and George felt wrinkles appear on his forehead. 

“Just you make me feel like a rich man,” Fred confessed feeling happy, but lame at the same time. It was the most lame thing he had ever said to anyone. George was immersed in his thoughts, so til he asks him to repeat it, he won’t dare . _Watch out or your hair’ll turn white_ ,  the younger one’s eyes said jokingly.

He started to feel his brother’s weight more, as George’s knees went wobblier every second. Fred carefully lowered himself, making sure his twin is rested tightly on his chest. George’s legs curled up and arms threw themselves over Fred’s waist.

“When you think about it the muggles are truly defenseless,” he wondered out loud causing George to raise his head as if it would make him hear it better. 

They sat back down, as Fred put his head against old bench behind them. His throat burned and his legs felt wobbly as well as his twin’s. He pulled George to his chest and they sat there no one knew for how long, silent. He needed it, he needed to get drunk with George and say all these things he had said. Did he really meant all those things? His twin exhaled causing the hot air to brush his collarbones. He patted George’s hair.  _His only duty was protecting him._ Brother’s warmth and summer air made him feel sleepy, as he fought with his eyelids. The last thing he heard was his twin’s soft breathing against his chest and breaking car far away. 

***

 _“_ _What do you think you’re doing?!”_ Molly shouted right into George’s right ear loud enough to wake Tonks sleeping on the last floor. He moaned and turned around to Fred to press the hurting ear into his shirt. The older’s one eye opened to check on his twin, but he closed his eyelids again shortly after doing so. 

George’s hand shooed the people in the room away, as Ron clenched his jaw to prevent himself from laughing out loud. 

“I smelled that whiskey right away. A friend of mine gave it to me after the graduation. It is...well it  _was_ with a droplet of _Felix Felicis,_ ” Sirius explained smiling at twins, who wouldn’t get up even though Molly kept on pulling their legs out of the bed.

“Let them sleep, Molly. Have you forgotten how it used to be being young?” Arthur chimed in giving her a genuine smile. It was better to laugh over the small things than cry over their duty. Mrs Weasley huffed, but crossed her arms over her chest.

Short redhead entered the dark room, as candle lightened up her pale, young face. She raised her eyebrows, as Charlie joined her. The room got full of people and everybody was leaning over the poor twins, who have been wanting to sleep.

“How did they got here?” Ginny asked, dragged by Charlie’s hand back to her bedroom. Hermione rolled her eyes, as the clock hands pointed three thirty. Fred moaned about his headache, as George covered his mouth to make him stay quiet. 

“Remus and I went after them and carried them on our broomsticks quickly; Fred doesn’t have a license,” Sirius explained nudging Remus’ hipbone with his elbow. Charlie released his sister’s hand, so she stood next to Potter, shifting on her feet. 

“I won’t let them share Bilius’ drinking habits,” Molly announced, as Arthur pulled her to his side. Remus’ hand gently touched her arm. The youngest ones left, as Potter’s hand accidentally touched Ginny’s one, causing her to bring it upon her chest. Hermione saw it, but didn’t say anything, as Molly put two cold towels on twins’ foreheads. 

Finally, everybody moved to leave the room and Arthur covered the twins with blanket.  _Here is the bucket if you dare to throw up,_ Molly’s eyes threatened them leaving the bucket near the beds. 

“Looks like the Kings have returned,” Bill said ironically leaning over the doorframe, then shutting it behind himself. The candle was puffed out by the air. The lied there in silence and dark. 

Twins were not speaking for a while, their headaches slowly killing them. Fred panted throwing the blanket away, as he started to sweat. The once cold towel on his forehead now becoming warm, as the droplets went by his cheeks on the pillow. Somehow his left side burned like fire; he didn’t opened his eyes though. He was slowly becoming aware, but he did his best to stay asleep. He heard George’s breathing, as his younger twin clutched onto him. Soon, George’s breathing got blunt.

***

His eyes opened wide, as he felt as if a newborn. Fred was feeling  _fucking crazy._ He sat up, causing the completely warm now towel to fall off his forehead. The room was dark as hell and he couldn’t see anything. Fred scrabbled around looking for George. Finally, his long fingers touched his twin’s silky back. A shiver went down the older one’s spine. To Fred’s desperation, his twin always would throw off his shirt at night. 

_ Is it violence yet? To look at this body not being able to touch it? How much would he disappoint George if he told him the truth?  _

He stood up as he used to do it every night since he discovered the bathroom mirror and would look into it for an hour at least then go to sleep again. Pathetic enough.

He slipped out the sheets and his feet touched the cool planks. He couldn’t see anything, but didn’t want to wake George by using _ Lumos,_ so he just went carefully across the room hoping nothing would stab his feet. He made it to the door, hearing his twin’s soft breathes. He felt self-ashamed and guilty as if someone knew. Nobody could see what he saw actually, but the truth was pinning him down. He was sorted into Gryffindor, he couldn’t be that bad to deserve to go through all of these! 

He pushed the heavy door handle down and the door didn’t make a sound allowing him to leave the room inaudible way. Family portraits seemed to be sleeping, as charmed harp kept on playing slow, sad music quietly all over the long corridor. Fred felt alone for the first time in ages. _ Where did everybody go? _ Small candle on the long-serving bureau was the only light source, so he took it with him, rushing himself before mom or anybody goes out their rooms. He went to the end of the hall and then he saw it. The bathroom door was there waiting for him to open it and spill his mad fantasies about his twin. 

He quietly shut the heavy oak door behind himself and approached the surface as usual. He was just about to move the curtain to uncover the mirror, when his arm stopped halfway.  _When did he became animal like this? When did he became a savage not knowing what morals are? He was no different than the animals._ He tore the curtain apart impatiently, needy. His amber eyes became wide open. There was not even a scratch left of the mirror. The faded wall glowed in the dim light of the candle he brought from the corridor. His hands touched the cold surface. Why? Why was he even forbidden from seeing what was not meant for his eyes? 

“I took it away,” Remus’ low voice said, uncovering the older male from the dimness of the room; Fred jumped and turned around.  _Why?_ his eyes said as if he was just about to burst into tears. 

“Don’t you think I do not know about you and Ginny coming here every single night,” he revealed causing Fred to blush. The boy wanted to sink into the cracked floor and vanish. They remained silent for a bit before the twin choked out anything.

“ _Can’t I go and Obliviate myself?_ ”  he asked disbelieving in what he had just said. He went mad for real. He wanted his old self back so badly. He wanted to touch George again without any odd reaction his body would do. He wished he would give his brother the usual brotherly look. He would rather lie flat instead of being raised high and then thrown back down by his brother. 

“What’s the point? Why do you want to forget the person you love the most?” Lupin asked approaching him; put his hand on his shoulder in a motherly way. 

“Where’s the point of not being able to make them happy? Feel good and safe? If it isn’t mutual then I don’t want that,” he confessed fiercely feeling anger growing in himself. Lupin hid his hands in his pockets, stepping back to face the normal mirror. 

_ “Freddie, please don’t cry. Dad wouldn’t want to cause you any harm,” George’s warm hand went down his spine. He decided to blame himself. They were just about to make an Unbreakable Vow with Ron, when dad’s caught them. Fred didn’t let Arthur punish George. He slapped the older twin’s buttock that hard he couldn’t sit now. But Fred was glad. Glad, that his brother wasn’t in pain. That he had protected him.  _

_ “It stopped hurting already,” he lied to George, as his brother smiled to him preciously making Fred remember that smile for the rest of his life.  _

“Everything is meant for two. There is no place in their life for me,” Fred said bitterly, his eyes gazing out at the piles underneath his feet. Lupin nodded, looking as hurt as the twin did. The older male was never meant to make a relationship and Fred honestly felt the same. 

“Tonks would come here as often as you and Ginny. Me and Sirius decided to take it away or else you’ll all go mad,” Remus said knowing he’s been there himself. Fred frowned;  _What was so wrong about it?_

“There’s nothing good in giving yourself a false hope, Fred,” he said making the twin impressed he told them apart. The older of the twins felt a hot tear escaping his eye and sinking in his sweaty polo shirt. The hopelessness mixed with misunderstanding. 

“It’s not my fault their sweater fits me better.”


	6. Lumos

George was helping Ginny to close her luggage, which was opening itself every now and then. It was much smaller than the twins’ ones, so girl’s things fitted with a struggle. He looked right at Fred walking to him slowly, fair smile on his face, while pushing his luggage forward. Chats around him ringing in his ears, as he listened for twin’s voice. The train already on the platform, ready to take students away from their parents.  _Away from their narrow room in the Burrow, Fred’s embrace._

He felt  _Fred changing_.  He was not his usual self, fooling around with him. The distance made George feel like screaming most of the time. The jokes were drying his tears, but new would fall anyway. He placed his big hand on Ginny’s back, as she approached Hermione standing nearby with Moody and Nymphadora. Potter went somewhere with Remus and Sirius probably to say goodbye. Molly scolded Ron for not taking enough warm clothes and the twins were the last left alone. A girl cried loudly, as tall witch was trying to calm her down. The younger twin smelled pumpkin pastries, but he wouldn’t crave them anymore. 

Somehow Fred’s presence made George feel like he could burst out every second. His twin felt the same, as he could tell. George moved closer to his brother, but his twin made a step backwards; the younger twin felt his heart cracking silently. He stopped hearing the King’s Cross Station noises, as they were drowned out by his sadness.

_ If the summer’s Freddie is gone, let George kiss him goodbye before he goes.  _

An exact year ago they were standing right here in their best clothes as usual and making jokes about anything and anybody. Now when Fred looked at him like that he felt as if completely naked. All their foolishness turned into glass fragile enough to break every living second. He didn’t even see Molly coming.

“You boys look great, my seven-years,” she said proudly brushing away the tear from the corner of her hazel eye. Fred hugged her gently and the younger one observed his long arms wrapping themselves around short woman. 

_ When Trelawney finally left, everybody jumped on their feet; thrilled to bits. The twins managed even to trip a tall Slytherin boybefore going outside the class. Gossips and excited chit-chats hummed around them, as Fred and George walked to the dormitory with Lee Jordan. It was mid-December and it got cold enough to make the younger twin’s joints hurt. _

_ “Maybe you could give Hagrid your Canary Cream,” Lee suggested giggling, then tripped on a stair. Twins opened their amber eyes wide.  _

_ “That wouldn’t be a canary, but a full-size chicken!” Fred whistled, causing laughing George’s diaphragm to squeeze itself tight. Lee howled with laughter causing McGonagall to turn around, but she didn’t get to have anything to scold them for.  _

_ They passed the quad, as snow was falling on their shining locks. Lee tried to keep up with the twins, but their long legs marched fast enough to keep him in the back. The girls spotted them and approached, companied with Lee’s “hi, hi”. Angelina made a face taking Fred’s arm, as George and Lee clenched theirjaws and fists inside their pockets. Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet stood on both Fred’s sides. _

_ “We talked about the pranks we’re going to pull tonight,” Lee explained, excitement filling his loud voice. “The pranks you’re going to pull,” George thought to himself. He haven’t had date yet and wasn’t going to do anything to have one. He was just going to fall asleep to skip this whole mess of Angelina chasing after Fred. His older twin smiled at her jokingly, as the younger felt miles away. He felt as if he was the useless twin. The one never meant to be born, so Fred would have his own books and a better broom for Quidditch. He swallowed hard, looking away. _

_ “And who are you taking to the Ball, George?” Katie asked, all eyes on him. He felt nauseous and angry at the same time. What was all this fuss about? Just another useless garbage. Was Fred really that excited about this? About going with Angelina? _

_ “No one, I’ll get some rest tonight,” he answered truthfully, watching Fred’s eyes turning from happy to denial. George felt warm sensation filling his stomach, as his older twin seemed to care about him. Alicia and Lee opened their eyes widely. Him, George Weasley, skipping the Yule Ball? Was he sick? Was everything alright?  _

_ “I’m not very sure of going as well; feeling sick,” Alicia said putting a hand on her forehead. It drew everybody’s attention except for the twins, who kept on looking each other in the eyes. Fred’s hand grabbed George’s one, when Angelina asked Alicia about the head and the twins walked away. _

_ “Why haven’t you told me before?” Fred said; moved to death. He was resented, that his twin was keeping things from him. They bobbed their heads to Hagrid, who dragged a huge Christmas Tree inside; straight to the Great Hall.  _

_ What was George going to do there? Stand aside alone watching them dance? Come with Fred and Angelina as a third-wheeler? Tearing around in his robe? Why? Maybe George hoped his twin would dump Johnson and they could go together, as the Jokesters Pair. It became a dream just as the adult twins sitting by the fireplace in their armchairs.  _

_It was the first moment the twins felt a wall between them building up ._

“George, Fred, I’m sorry we couldn’t buy you two separate book sets,” Molly confessed with shame, tugging her light-brown hair behind her ears. For the first time she couldn’t afford to equip every of her children with books. She felt as if failing as a mother figure.

“Don’t worry, mom, we always study together using only one of them,” George assured her, patting her arm with his hand. He felt Fred tensing as his heart did. Was Fred distancing himself from him for real? The older twin smiled to Potter, who has already returned with Sirius and Remus from somewhere. He was holding a sack in his right hand. Ginny sneezed and Molly rushed to hand her a handkerchief. People started to gather and the twins felt the pressure. 

“Guys, I decided I don’t want my prize to waste on bollocks...,” Harry started, as Sirius put his big, scrawny hand onto his shoulder. Because of Cedrik’s death he didn’t want his money anymore. He didn’t meant to do all of these for money, though. 

“We know we are handsome, but we do not provide such service,” Fred said sarcastically before Harry would speak making his ears red and Sirius choking on laugh. George chuckled shifting closer to his twin; checking if he would move away for a second time. He didn’t, so it lifted a weight off his chest. 

“I want you to keep on making your products,” he declared with smile pushing the money into George’s arms. He hoped the twins would make bigger use of it than he did, ”I know Bagman paid you in Leprechaun gold and you can’t get it back,” he started, as George felt twin’s fists clenching.

“Well, we...,” he started, but Fred wouldn’t even let him start his sentence properly, instead he gulped angrily and raised his voice. 

“...every single month I would be sitting and writing a letter to that prick,” Fred growled, his veins appearing on his temples.

_ The umpire blew the whistle, as Irish supporters went absolutely mad throwing their green and orange hats off. The lights were blinding them and the atmosphere became euphoric, as the fireworks have been lighted. The twins jumped on their feet and Fred thought he was going to lose his hearing, when the crowd shouted and buzzed loud enough to be heard in Hogsmeade. The older twin’s eyes saw George smiling widely, as his painted face shone bright in the herd. The younger’s arms went around Fred and he embraced his twin back. He was so excited he was jumping in twin’s arms not giving a fuck if someone was watching or not.  _

_“They won, Freddie! We finally won’t need to ask mom for money!” he exclaimed cheerfully smiling at him. The happiness beamed from George’s face and blush crept onto Fred’s face. His cheeks felt hot and so did his ears_. 

Fred hadn’t really been more furious before than the time Bagman screwed them over. He couldn’t forget George’s face, as the money sack disappeared from his hands. The younger twin looked like he was about to burst out any moment and Fred wanted to beat Ludo up badly. He insisted on going to Ministry and beating him or exposing to Fudge, but George wouldn’t let him do such a fuss. Finally, Fred understood his anger wasn’t caused by the steal, but his twin’s upset. He didn’t care about the money at all. 

“We could sue him for stealing our money,” Fred told his brother, his eyes shimmering dimly in the station’s light. George shook his head,  _no_. Eleven o’clock was getting on and the familiar faces started to appear. 

“ That’d be a blackmail, too much,” he told his twin, as Sirius nodded his head. The younger one held the other one back, always cooling him down. Fred needed his blue as George needed his orange. 

“We can’t...,” the both twins started at the same time, but Remus shushed them down. The money seemed heavy in George’s arms and Fred felt guilty he hadn’t been able to get them for his twin himself. He was grateful for Potter, but he would rather achieve this alone.  Harry was called by Hermione and Ron, and walked away; Ginny turning away from Molly and Nymphadora to look at his back. A tall man with a child watching them from afar, as the large group drew the attention of the other wizards and witches. 

Ron said goodbyes to Harry and the members of his family and prepared to go to the Prefects’ Van by Hermione’s side.

“I still can’t believe it. Ron is a prefect like everyone in the family!” Molly smiled brightly, hugging Arthur’s side. Harry smiled at her, adjusting his glasses. The twins looked at each other, rolling their eyes. 

“What are Fred and I? Next-door neighbors?” George asked ironically, causing Harry to laugh loudly. Molly clicked her tongue, snapping her fingers at them. 

Then, they heard conductor announcing the departure in a few minutes. Everybody was in a rush to leave their luggage on the platform edge for the stuff to pack itself magically. When George waited for his luggage to be packed, from the corner of his eye he saw Lupin approaching his twin and laying a hand on his shoulder. He felt gulp in his throat, as it became dry as a paper, but he didn’t dare to do anything. 

“You will feel better if you let it out and tell them. Don’t let this feeling waste, Fred,” Lupin said patting the older twin’s back. The whole King’s Cross felt silent, as George Weasley stood in the heavy steam holding back his tears.  _So it was true. Fred didn’t give up on Angelina. __Feeling?_ Fred had told him before it was only a psychical attraction. A psychical attraction is short and not very engaging, but _ feelings do last. _ He told even Remus, but not his own twin? Was all their twin relationship only one-sided? He started feeling cold. 

_ But George would always cut himself, if Fred stopped bleeding.  _

Fred grabbed his arm, as his luggage was in and they walked to the door along with Ginny. Bill and Charlie had already left the Grimmauld Place 12 the day before. The Weasley siblings queued to enter the train, when Moody pulled George’s sweater backwards.

“If something happens, go straight to Dumbledore’s office,” he whispered huskily into his ear, then his cane’s sound wandered away. The message went through Fred’s ears as well. 

“All aboard!” the conductor basically shouted before shouting the door and blowing the whistle, as the train tooted starting its engine. George felt nauseous. 

Finally, after they got on the train, the Chosen One followed by Ginny went right and the twins took the left part of the compartment. They kept walking the aisle, as their shoes shuffled against worn-out red carpets. For 6’3 twins it seemed claustrophobic, but they were focused on balancing and when the train slipped the rails, George lost his posture and bumped into Fred’s stomach. He swore his twin sighed as if experiencing some nice sensation, when the younger’s body crashed onto the older’s torso. 

He turned around, as his gaze met with brother’s pale lips. They looked each other in the eyes, as their hearts skipped a beat in rhythm.

“Careful, Georgie,” his twin held his arms and it felt as the spring sun’s first touch. Fred’s warm yet slightly scrawny hands holding his arms in place. His twin gently pushed him forward, as the two redheads towered upon a dozen of first-years. They waved Molly goodbye, when they saw her standing on the platform, drying her eye with her sleeve, because Ginny took her handkerchief. Some first-year kept on looking at Fred, while making goo-goo eyes. 

They finally found an empty compartment and Fred’s hand reached for the door handle to shift them open, when another hand touched his one. George felt something pinching his skin above his collarbone. A small needle out of nowhere. 

“Freddo? Long time no see!” Lee gave Fred a genuine smile, who gave him a relieved one in return, while dapping. George’s chest poked again. He wasn’t missing Jordan as much as his brother did. His eyes stuck on Fred’s profile, his long, dark eyelashes adorning his pale face. He also dapped Lee; some part of George wished they would be alone with his twin, so they could talk their business. 

They closed the door, when the trolley lady appeared from behind the glass. George was the last to sit down and Lee had already taken a sit next to Fred. Jordan turned to his twin and the younger one felt outside the chat, anger rising in boy’s body. The compartment seemed to small for the three of them. 

“How’s your summer, gentlemen?” Lee asked lazily throwing his long leg onto the opposite couch. George looked at Fred from behind Jordan’s dreadlocks. His heartbeats became intense out of sudden. 

“We went drinking lately. I can’t remember a thing,” his twin chuckled, resting his head onto the window. This light showed small freckles on his cheeks that always would always show at the end of the summer. George lacked them; his skin seemed more resistant. He watched Fred’s expression closely, feeling his cheeks warming up. He was glad his twin wouldn’t mention the splinching incident a month ago. 

_ Would you still love me if I’m no longer your brother?  _

His intestines burnt and his head felt heavy. He didn’t remember much, but the question was enough to assure him Fred wasn’t interested in being his soulmate forever. Part of him wanted to believe his brother was lying, but he promised himself he will stop being selfish git. Then, Jordan turned to him and raised his thick eyebrow; nudging his chest with elbow. 

“We created a whole bunch of new stuff,” he said, as Fred’s happy gaze lifted his mood, Lee seemed excited about it as well. 

Fred shifted standing up, his hand digging inside his pocket. Lee put his leg off the couch. It showed as if he did not want to listen to his twin speaking.  _Gonna be back in minute_ , the older twin’s eyes said, making George sick. He was afraid of leaving his brother for even a minute. 

“ _Spectrum Splasher, Sugar Hexes, Voodoo Fountain, Rocket Box, Extendable Ears._..,”  he named, stressing the Extendable Ears. Lee’s eyes seemed to pop out his orbits. The door cracked behind the older twin’s back. 

“Wow, wow, hold on. Where are these things?” Jordan asked knowing twins’ mom and her _ cleaning habits. _ George smiled under his nose, feeling a lot like his old self; a small hint of Fred’s lack still there. 

“Guess we won’t be needing all of our warm clothes at school,” he chuckled, as Lee collapsed into giggles throwing his head backwards. 

“I give it three days before your mom sends you a Howler,” Jordan choked out crossing his arms over his chest followed by the door cracking open sound. Fred’s ginger locks appeared in the gap, as he walked inside the compartment pressing a box to his arms. George recognized pumpkin pasties’ sweet cinnamon smell and skin around his collarbones felt like oven-hot. Lee clasped his hands rubbing them together, so did the younger twin, who hoped he wasn’t blushing all over. 

“Mum, what’s for dinner?” they said in their high tones, Lee’s squeak hurting George’s ears. They stamped their feet, reaching for the boxes. The older twin laughed loudly, adjusting the things in his arms. 

“Move, Jordan. Here comes the businessman’s lunch,” said Fred handing George both boxes. When his twin opened them, three pumpkin pasties covered in cinnamon sugar. He raised his gaze to give his brother a genuine smile. Fred returned it sitting next to his twin; Lee moved closer to the window. 

_ Would you now?  _

“You know, Jordan, since we have known each other for so many years...,” George said teasingly straightening his back. He gave one box to Lee, so that the two pasties were left for him and Fred. He put the box onto twin’s lap, but his brother shook his head.  _You know I’m not very fond of them,_ amber gleaming in the older’s eyes. Instead, he took a Cauldron Cake package out of his pocket. 

They occupied themselves with eating, the twins kidding from time to time. The bites he chewed growing bigger in George’s throat, when the anxiety came close reminding him about Fred’s kidney. He hasn’t thought the thing yet.  _Quidditch, Death-Eaters, Dueling_.  His twin was now so fragile he could be hurt any moment. The train was making quiet sounds occasionally, going fast, as the raindrops missed the window’s glass most of the time. Finally, Lee wiped his mouth, crumbs going everywhere, and wondered out loud.

“You could put your Extendable Ears into girl’s quidditch changing room, maybe we would learn some interesting stuff,” he suggested, scratching his face with a witty smirk on his dark face. Fred laughed at the idea. 

“I’d rather listen to your singing in the shower,” he giggled, as Jordan leant over chuckling George to smack his head. They heard a rustle outside their compartment indicating the arrival to Hogwarts’s. 

“Alright boys, put your best clothes on,” George announced happily for the first time in a while. 

_I’m thinking of making Extendable Eyes to have an eye on you when I can’t do it myself,_ Fred’s shameless mind thought before he could even process it, when he gazed at George changing his pullover to a school one. Then, a wave of shame and remorse overwhelmed the older twin as if he had said it out loud.

***

The castle seemed duller than usual and the first-years’ terror was infecting other students, who looked curiously at professors’ table, where a few new faces could be seen. George stabbed the chicken leg on his plate as if it intended to cut his throat. Miraculously, he managed to sit next to Fred. Never it has been that hard to sit shoulder to shoulder with his own twin. He wanted to go and tell them, that it is  _his brother_.  Fred’s vulnerability has become George’s biggest nightmare recently. It wasn’t preventing him from laughing or joking, but kept on painfully reminding itself. The chit-chats surrounded him stopped, as Dumbledore announced his speech. 

“Me is glad to see you there, well-rested and ready to spend these ten months on learning hard and make lifelong friendships. Do not put carefulness out of your mind and take care of each other, though,” Fred looked at George from above his mashed potatoes. 

To be honest, he didn’t want his twin to be a part of quidditch team anymore; his brother was vulnerable enough to get hurt easier than he used to. He knew though, that quitting the team would start questions and for the first time he wished the twins’ ginger heads could be invisible once. He occupied himself with eating pork pastries, when George nudged his arm. He gazed at him, careful not to look at his lips, but twin’s chin pointed the other direction.

“...our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Dolores Umbridge,” and then without rhyme or reason, the pudgy woman was standing next to Dumbledore, her chubby hands on her stomach. There was something about her pissing Fred off. He looked left at George and George looked right at him. Absentmindedly, he touched his knee to twin’s one, but as soon as he has done that, he became self-conscious and moved away. He could say his brother made a face, but he was too terrified of his own body’s reactions to wonder about it. 

The pink lady continued on her sweet speech making Fred nauseous. Why being so fake? Everybody could tell at the moment she wanted them not to have any fun. It was their last year and he wanted the twins to run the show as they always did. Defense Against the Dark Art without real practice? _You must be joking._

“I’m sure we’re all going to be very good friends,” Umbridge grinned, showing all her teeth, making Fred want to applause on her brilliant character creation. 

“ _That’s likely,_ ” the twins said in utter synchronization, their disgruntled faces supported by hands. Fred heard George saying something under his nose, but couldn’t figure out what it was. Lee giggled covering his mouth with his fist. He shook his head looking the twins in the eyes. 

“Sorry,” Ginny said quietly, as she had dropped a piece of cake onto Neville’s robes, focused on Harry, who turned around to talk with Cho. It seemed none of the Weasleys gave a fuck about the woman dressed in pink. Who was she even to tell everybody what to do? She is the _ new one _ out here. She needs to learn  _their rules._

All the things Umbridge said meant only one. Sitting behind the desk and reading the textbooks in silence. How was he supposed to protect George if he didn’t know how? If they didn’t get to have any real practices, there was no way they would defend each other. And defending his twin was Fred’s point. 

“Let us preserve what must be preserved, perfect what can be perfected and prune practices that ought to be prohibited,” she smiled, then started walking towards her seat, where her pink purse was. It seemed to hurt Snape just to sit next to it. The twins were not surprised. In the blink of an eye they became totally fragile and unable to defend themselves. 

Fred looked at his brother. Concededly, Molly managed to push a bit food down George’s throat and he gained some weight, but he still seemed so fragile. If only the older one could, he would lock them in their room at Burrow and not let him out. He realized he must have been staring at his twin for a while now, since he smiled at Fred causing his stomach to turn turtle. The older twin smiled in return, nudging George’s ribs with his elbow gently. 

***

The twins closed the bedroom’s heavy door behind their backs. The nervous talks echoed downstairs, where Gryffindors discussed loud enough to be heard up above. Fred clenched his fists, as he remembered the pink git. He hoped the last year here would repay them the harm twin’s received this summer. The older twin approached his bed and took the luggage out from under the heavy planks and placed the old trunk named  _Fred Weasley_ on the sheets. 

_ Would you now?  _

“Fuck the bitch,” George read his thoughts saying them out loud. He felt relieved that his brother would still understand his body language well. He smirked searching for something in his luggage. 

They both hoped the last year is going to be the best. The last jokes of their childhood. Before all of the world would stand up against them. Before George loses the gleam in his amber eyes. They were becoming touchy, as everybody expected the maturity from them. Fred and George wouldn’t change no matter how many times Molly has heard  they _will grow out of this. This?_

“How come everybody managed to piss me off today?” Fred asked, his hand digging between his warm clothes. George walked up to him, placing a hand on twin’s shoulder. Apart from Umbridge, he had no idea who Fred found annoying. The older one felt shiver wandering down his spine. Was there no chance his twin could touch him again without the weirdness?

“You fine, Freddie?” the younger one asked worriedly, looking over brother’s arm to see what he was searching for, “You seem annoyed as hell these days. Is something wrong?” George asked genuinely.

_ It is you being too good for me. _

Fred felt horror pumping blood inside his veins. His brother knew it. There was no way he would be able to convince his twin George was seeing things. 

“It’s just our future what concerns me,” he responded with a lie, controlling his voice not to sound too fake. He hated to lie, but he had no choice. If he wanted a normal life by his twin’s side, the show must go on. Finally, his hand reached for the certain object.

“We’ll get through this together, mate,” George reassured him raising his brows, when Fred finally found the thing in the clothes. He didn’t sound convinced, though.

The older twin opened the palm of his hand to reveal the small metal box. _The_ _ Chocolate Frog_ label had faded and disappeared already, but the gold ornaments were there and not going anywhere. George felt his eyes go hot and throat dry as a piece of parchment. He swallowed loud enough for Fred to hear it.

“Remember it, Georgie?” he asked opening the lid. Dumbledore appeared smiling at the twins. The metal was all scrapped and the edge was chipped, but it was still more meaningful for the twins than all the world’s diamonds. As if a part of the young twins still lived in the piece of metal and paint. If only the box could play their child voices. 

“Just like us, mate. Chapped and scrapped, but still the same good thing,” Fred smiled at George in a cute way, showing the dimples on his cheeks. The younger ones weren’t that even. None of them would ever say it out loud, but it reminded their first _kiss._ George could feel the shame poking his chest. Such a meaningless item he gave and he received one of the best gifts ever himself. Wished he could play the Exploding Snap over Fred’s mind. 

“I thought mum threw it away centuries ago,” George blinked utterly surprised. Fred shook his head.

“Not on my watch,” he said trailing the edge gently with his fingers. He closed it, clenching the objects inside palm of his hand, “I was afraid if I leave it at home or at Grimmauld Place, someone would get rid of it as soon as they find out there’s no chocolate frog inside.”

“Someone younger than us, red hair and big appetite?”

Why couldn’t they be eleven years old anymore? _The kids who_ _ have been  _ _playing and bathing, and sleeping together, and no one would say a thing._ George shifted to his bed, falling on his back onto soft mattress. The one at home was rough and old and when the twins stretched out, their feet were poking out, but still it was the best feeling in the entire universe to let it squeak under their weight. Fred’s gaze followed him till the moment twin’s body sank into the bed. It was just a mattress, but he was worried George would hurt himself. 

“Your back, Georgie?” Fred asked sitting on his bed. The common room got silent, as dark overtook the castle. 

“Better now on this silky mattress,” his twin purred, pushing his face into soft pillow. He then realized they won’t be sleeping in the same bed for the next four months. George seemed a mile away even though the distance between the beds barely made an yard. 

They tried to enjoy the evening, as Lee was in the shower. The twins usually hated the silence; preferring the  intimacy, though. Just the two of them working on their newest invention. 

_ Would you or would you not?  _

The younger one fought with himself throughout the he whole day. He couldn’t believe his twin could lie to Jordan. It was just too unreal to be true, but George knew his brother and the nervous Fred’s glance hadn’t escaped his big, amber eyes. But where was the point of lying to Lee? 

“Do you remember or do you not?” George asked looking fiercely at his brother’s back, feeling his heart pounding; about to jump out his chest. He heard Fred putting the Chocolate Frog away on the bedside table. He instantly regretted it and his chest felt numb out of sudden. 

“ _I would, Georgie. Now or in thousand years of mom not telling us apart even if I eventually become bald,_ ”  Fred said with seriousness, his eyes on George’s. The younger twin’s insides filled themselves in light, as the relief overwhelmed him. 

Fred meant it; he was still loving him the way he did all these years ago. George felt like flying over the ground, but his joy was interrupted by Lee Jordan in his pyjamas storming inside the room.  _It isn’t the right moment_ _,_ the twins’ eyes said. 

“You won’t believe if I tell you!” Lee threw his hands in the air, as his wet towel landed on his bed soundlessly. Twins sat up on their beds. 

“Your younger brother deducted 5 points from me,” Lee told them crossing his arms over his slim chest. Fred bursted in laughter, clutching his left side. George laughed as well, but then he self-reminded himself about twin’s wound.  _For what_ ,  the older twin choked out. 

“Being loud, sarcastic and disrespectful towards the prefect,” Lee bit his lips not to shout it loudly. George closed his eyelids not being able to laugh anymore; the younger’s diaphragm has had enough. Jordan rolled his eyes playfully, “It hasn’t even been the end of day one.” 

“Guess Percy isn’t the only  _Bighead_ out there,” Fred commented showing his teeth. George frowned, did Lee really had to come now?  _You know how to have fun, man_ ,  Fred’s gaze at Lee said. The room seemed gloomier than before, though. The heavy bed curtains seemed as maroon as one’s blood on the floor. The lights behind the window shone still.

“Seamus has been pretty aggressive today,” George said looking for his pyjamas. His hand went through all of their inventions, looking for some clothes at all. Fred clenched his jaw. 

_ The twins sat on the couch back along with  Ginny. The fireplace sizzling steadily in the background not making any Gryffindor comfortable. Then, Potter came into the dormitory causing the remaining coziness to tumble down. The Chosen one approached Seamus, who had been sending him angry looks throughout the whole evening.  _

_ “How’s summer?” he asked looking Finnigan in the furious eyes. Out of sudden, Seamus took off in Potter’s direction, as Harry stepped backwards quickly, closer to the couch, where the Weasleys were sitting. Dean Thomas rushed to hold his chest and Ron stood up to go between them. Fred quickly jumped off the couch to position himself in front of George, covering him, his hand also bringing Ginny closer. Lucky enough, Ron managed to step between Harry and Seamus before they’d slam into Fred’s chest.  _

_ “ How’s my summer? Thanks to your nonsense I almost stayed home this year!”  _

Fred tried to calm himself down. He decided to wash himself tomorrow morning, so he just slid underneath the sheets. What if they would accidentally hit George? His twin was in st.Mungo not that long ago.  _He was severely worried._ His brother walked out the room to wash himself, as older’s anxious eyes followed his tall figure.  _Gonna be ok?_ _,_ his gaze asked George, who was closing the door; the boy nodded.

The older twin felt like an empty balloon; he was pissed of by the pink pig, Seamus annoyed him as well, Lee broke the twins’ intimacy and the worst of all; he had the attraction growing inside of him as a plant and no idea how to get rid of it. They say one should enjoy being in love, but he couldn’t even enjoy his own thoughts and he just kept on distracting himself, hoping someday it will go away. It was terrifying now to wake up in the morning and realizing his actual state. He turned around, putting the sheets over his head. If he had a choice, he would lock them all up here, return home and smash the Burrow up. All the places they have been, every single corner their discovered mutually. 

Lee hummed reading some quidditch summaries, his dreadlocks still wet. Kenneth was no longer sharing the room with the three of them after the  _Bulbadox Powder Incident_ Fred had caused a few years ago. If he only knew how to make Lee move to another bedroom. He liked the boy, but he would rather have the room for himself and George only. No matter what he thought about, his mind kept on escaping his powerful grip.  _Everything but his twin seemed unbearable._

He kept on thinking anyway. Every single time he has seen a couple together today, he would imagine himself and  _him_ in a such position. Holding George’s hand. Embracing his waist. Burying his face into twin’s chest. Simple things he would imagine. They were enough, as the  _forbidden ones_ were yet to come into his adolescent mind.  _You’re just a teenage boy_ ,  he repeated to himself to assure himself he wasn’t the only one in the world. Not that Fred particularly cared anyway, but it was sick and immoral,  _no one would understand him_.  George deserved happy and long life after the things they went through. Fred will never give him these all. Furthermore, he could harm his twin this way. He will never accept the fact he won’t be able to provide his twin the stuff he needs, the psychical stuff. Was there anything that would make his brother stay here, by Fred’s side? If they were separated and the older twin poured his heart out, would George still love him the same? 

He closed his eyes allowing his heart to open. 

***

_ The sea breeze softly caressed nape of Fred’s neck. The grasses swayed now and then, as the sun was heating the shiny sand. It started to burn his feet, as he slowly walked forward to the sea shore. He realized he was wearing shorts and shirt thrown over his shoulders. Fred didn’t know where he was or when. It seemed familiar, though. There was something about the grasses reminding him of something he was not aware. It was all surreal to the point, when he turned around, he expected the Hogwarts, but instead his eyes met the old house standing alone on the beach. The seagulls sleeping peacefully on the water mirror. The sun was truly cruel with its burning sensation on Fred’s hair as if somebody used Lumos.  _

_ Then, he spotted his twin standing in the shallow water, looking out for something distant. He wore the same shorts and the same shirt as him. The clothes seemed destroyed to be that way, but none of the twins looked thrilled. Then, he heard a thump and the golden sand moved underneath his legs. He quickly made it to his twin, as the sudden anxiety was biting his lungs. The birds flew away and the breeze was blowing in his hair.  _

_ “ Georgie, have you heard this one?” Fred heard his voice asking his brother. His twin looked at him concerned.  _

_ “No, why?” he asked looking behind his shoulder, but there was nothing and no one here. Now he realized their chests are naked and George collarbones are poking out his skinbeguilingly.  _

_ He put his hand against his forehead. Where were they? For how long? What had been the noise before? He looked at George, the shiny hair falling on his pale forehead, his big, amber underneath a bunch of dark eyelashes.  _

_ “I put on your favorite shirt,” his younger brother told him, scratching his chin. Fred couldn’t look away from his twin’s silky chest. He reached to cup George’s cheek. The moment palm of his hand touched the other boy’s velvet cheek made his heart pounded as if charmed. His twin closed his eyes. Touch me, Fred’s body sounded to scream. Yet George remained still, his hands inside the shorts’ pockets. The older one felt his stomach ache, but his hand went down brother’s neck. The warmth of the skin was starting to excite Fred’s body.  _

_ “Where are we, Georgie?” he asked touching the boy’s ribs. His twin exhaled heavily. The waves kept on flooding the twins’ legs. Somebody called a name, but it seemed to benone of theirs.  _

_ “We are dead, Freddie,” his twin whispered, touching the older one’s chest. He was not dead for sure, his heart skipping beats as fast as the golden snitch. Why?, Fred’s eyes asked utterly concerned. George frowned, a wrinkle showing on his young forehead. The seawater was making a soft sound, when hitting the twins’ ankles. There were so many things he wanted to tell him. Not only to tell, but to share actually.  _

_ “We are not dead, Georgie. I can feel your heartbeat. Does it seem to you like an afterlife Devon or something? No, it rather looks like California,” Fred snorted sarcastically, digging in the wet sand with his feet.  _

_ “Here is the only place we can be happy together, mate,” the younger one smirked, showing his white teeth. He looked up at George’s shiny face and his light halo surrounded him as a protective charm he failed to learn. He took his twin’s hand. George smiled at him widely.  _

_ “Then let’s go, boy,” he suggested pointing the gable over the shore with his chin, as George gazed at the distant greenery, “Let’s see some places you’ve never been.”  _

_ “Now you do.” _

He lied on his right side, when he opened his eyes. George was sleeping on his tummy, the younger’s face pressed into red, velvet pillow. It was really odd to wake up alone in the cold bed. He  adored  waking up and feeling brother’s warmth on his loins. He rubbed his eyes and threw the sheets off his body. The heat in the room indicated the hot day to come. Today was the first quidditch training and he was a nervous wreck as soon as his sleepy mind remembered the fact. He jumped out his bed and grab some clean clothes before going in the shower. 

***

The first day at Hogwarts seemed to last forever, as Fred kept looking behind the window during the whole Transfiguration class. It was the only class that separated the twins, only because Fred was bitten by _ fanged geranium_ _,_ when he was taking Herbology exam. Jordan was constantly making comments on Angelina’s hair and it started to seriously piss the older twin off. Maybe she was pretty, but there was nothing special about her _._ _She couldn’t hold a candle to George._ Once she even winked at him, but he pretended not to see. He couldn’t understand himself anymore. Fred Weasley was just not the same. His thoughts were like other person’s, he acted like one. The sun overheated his scalp, as he leaned against the windowsill he was sitting by. Lee asked a question, as he closed his eyes, letting his sleepy mind rest. Without George it was no fun of doing anything. 

_ How could he just let him live?  _

The Charms class went as quick as the Potter’s Firebolt. The twins sat together joking around shyly till Flitwick hushed them down. His chest felt stiff, but there was nothing bad about it. The classes were getting harder every minute and the twins let their minds focus on the subject. Fred kept on giving his brother quick glances, when his twin was scratching the parchment with his quill. He noticed he was getting more anxious, when there was a lot of people around him. It had never happened before, the twins were social to death and there was nothing they were shy about. George pulled at his sleeve, when the class was finished. Their empty stomaches rumbled, so they quickly made their way to the Great Hall for dinner. 

***

Fred couldn’t taste the kidney pie he was eating at the moment. He felt rimmed by a bunch of imaginary people. When Katie Bell smiled at him, he panicked as if she knew. He wasn’t dumb, he was sure no one was reading his mind, but...it happened so suddenly. Was he sick for real? There was no ill in him. The worry for George and their own good mixed with euphoria of being close to his twin. 

_ How could you call sick the need to take care of your beloved one?  _

“You fine, Freddie?” George asked slurping his mushroom soup. Better than you,  he communicated with his twin through his mind. He then realized it, sticking his fork into the crusty pie. If they knew each other’s thoughts so well, would his twin read also  these thoughts?  He didn’t let his worry show still. The quidditch meeting was starting in minutes and he couldn’t allow his mind fly away. For how long he will be able to hide it? What then? 

Before he knew, they were sitting inside the Gryffindor Team’s tent. Was he really spacingout the whole afternoon? Maybe it was even better than he fought, as he didn’t have to strain himself from looking at George in the changing room. He was thankful he didn’t have to go through the shameful moment. It was ridiculous he was ashamed to look at body identical as his one! The moist the whole team was inhaling filled the room, as it started raining outside the tent. Angelina Johnson stood in front of the benches they sat on, making the older twin not wanting to look at her even more. She was the reason he and George argued for the first time in years. He felt his twin’s knee touching his one, as he took a look around to spot Ginny sitting behind them and Potter in the corner along with Ron.  The tent’s dim light didn’t show the pinkness of George’s face. 

“Alright, if somebody is not willing to live to play this game and not do their best, then it is the best for them to leave now,” she started fiercely making Ron swallow hard if Fred was correct. The only body noises he recognized was his twin’s. Merlin, he had no idea how himself sounded like. 

“Can’t I just get kicked out in between?” Fred asked looking left at George, who chuckled cutely pressing his head between his shoulders. 

“I can kick you out myself at this very moment if you are wishing to,” she cut him off, making Alicia nudge his arm on his right. For a second George looked away. Fred’s smile faded slowly, but it didn’t show.

“A good keeper must be tough, Weasley,” Johnson said drawing something on the board. 

“I know we two are gifted, but we cannot play as the whole team, you know,” George joked along with Potter’s loud chuckle. Katie Bell showed her uneven teeth.

“Shut up, Weasley,” she responded fixing the chalk with the palm of her dark hand. Fred turned around to give Ron a suggestively look; he wiggled his eyebrows.

“I didn’t even say anything,” Ron said loudly, making laughing George clutch onto Fred’s arm. Even underneath the quidditch uniform, his twin’s warm hand felt as if the fire burning his soft skin. 

_ All the things I wish you didn’t know, would you? _

Even though he did remember the question George asked him the time at the beach he was wondering if his twin actually  would love him the same after he told him everything he felt. 

“So, Ron’s a keeper, Katie, me and Alicia the chasers and Potter the seeker substituted by Ginny. The gingerbread-men the same as always, substituted by Andrew and Jack. Any questions?” she asked, her drawing of the pitch scheme, which was clearly well considered and done. Ginny made a note in her notepad. Fred waited till the end of the meeting, as he knew it was the time together with his twin inside their bedroom, as Lee was occupied with preparing the quidditch commenting stuff. 

“You wish you could dye your brownie hair ginger-like,” George smirked, his cheekbones more visible than they used to be. Potter laughed again followed by Andrew and Ron. Fred will be needing to act like Molly and push the toasts down twin’s throat to make his cheeks plump again. 

She ignored the twins and continued the meeting with a smile on her face. To be honest, she wasn’t the same as Wood, but his ambitions sometimes put the team under pressure too much causing them to stress out. She was calm and didn’t give a shit about the twins’ stupid comments. 

The rain kept on falling down the sky, as it became dark and the meeting ended. Everybody prepared to go to the changing room to put their school clothes on and end the day in the shower.

“For what I did change my clothes?” Ron moaned standing up from the bench and following Potter outside the tent.

The twins stood up, but Fred didn’t go with George. His younger twin raised his eyebrows, but the older one shook his head. The other twin looked hurt, but turned around and left with Alicia. 

“Mrs Captain, can we talk for a moment? Quidditch things,” she nodded, and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for everybody to leave.

George waited for Fred outside, as the rain was now pouring on the grass, the Weasley twin hidden under the piece of the tent. His legs hurt and he was sad his brother didn’t leave with him by his side. His behavior was starting to become really odd. He swung on his heels backwards, closing his eyes. It was hard to believe they went through so much in such a little time. Fred and Angelina were not leaving the tent and he had a feeling about it. What if something was happening there? What if they were flirting or so? What if his brother actually preferred her to George? 

He couldn’t help, but followed his gut and peeked inside the tent. Angelina was smiling slightly, as Fred was whispering something into her ear. The heart started to pump blood into the younger one’s veins suddenly like a storm. He quickly shut the tent’s fabric down and walked towards the castle; his feet slithering along the wet grass. He wished he could just press his face into the pillow and shout at the top of his lungs. 

_ It happened. _

For the first time in very long time, George Weasley felt just  _furious and savage, ready for anything_.  To see  _his twin_ so close to _somebody else._ To see the _body almost identical as his_ with a girl he could not stand anymore. She was coming between them although the twins promised to each other no one will ever tear them apart. He felt cheated on and like a complete idiot. The truth was he wasn’t cheated on as there was nothing between the two Weasleys. It was between Fred and Angelina. Brothers’ bond couldn’t replace a girlfriend. It was naive and bold of him to assume there was nothing going on between Fred and Johnson. He hoped they would forget about each other after such a long time. 

He couldn’t believe he was a fool like that. What did he even think? Fred was going to give up on the girls he liked only because of his brother? That Fred was not interested in anybody and did not feel the need, the attraction? That his twin didn’t desire romantic relationship? He felt a hot tear going down his cheek by contrast to cold raindrops. 

_ For once don’t be funny, George Weasley.  _


	7. Episkey

"What about the  _Blood Blisterpod_?” Fred asked holding his wrist above the name on the parchment. The younger twin was sitting across the table, staring in front of himself. George pretended to be wondering, “No, it does not sound yum enough.” Fred nodded and scored it out the list. He kept on tapping his foot, seemed to be in a good mood today’s day. 

On the table there were the chocolate nougats, still in the forms, all warm and ready. The twins covered them in a sweet icing. George was playing with the sugar pearls, rolling them on the table. Fred’s hand bumped on the sprinkles jar and the colorful bits went everywhere possible coating them room in fragrant sugar. They laughed prettily, as the older one began to sweep the things inside the palm of his hand. 

“I got some in my nose,” Fred complained, sticking his fingers in to take the sprinkles out his nostrils. 

“And _Nosebleed Nougats_?” George said, his eyes wide open, sniffing the chocolate candy with some sugar pearls on top. The sweet fragrance rimmed his nose pleasantly and he wanted to eat like a normal nougat. The twins wanted their sweets to be not only useful, but tasty at the same time. The younger one took the quill and drew a circle around the name, “That’s it.” Then, the twins wrapped them in thin papers to give the packagings to younger Gryffindors to try the side effects later. 

The older one stood up and made his way to their bedside table to take out the prototype of the twins’ snack-box. George’s swollen eyes went after him. He put the big orange gift-like package on the surface and took the bow off to open it. Four compartments showed, two of them already named as  _Fanting Fancies_ and  _Puking Pastilles_.  The fancies were there, orange jellies sugar coated and sour, but the Pastilles’ section was empty. He was sure he didn’t take any of them during the last few days and Jordan wouldn’t rifle through their things. The three dozens of orders were ready to be given to the customers, but where the pastilles have been? 

“What has happened to  _ Puking Pastilles_ ? A few days ago there was a dozen of them,” Fred asked looking inside the bedside table’s drawer, but it was no sign of them there as well. The compartment seemed not to have any crumbs even. 

George tensed, but answered in a nonchalant way, “I thought you gave them to Jordan on Wednesday for the tests,” Fred shook his head. He actually did give the nougats to Lee, but nothing more. He closed the drawer looking suspiciously at his brother.  _Did you?_ ,  eyes said. 

“To be honest, I took one or two to test it myself,” George said quite dishonestly looking at his shoes as if he wanted to brush away the non-existent dust away from them. Fred approached him and swept his twin’s fringe backwards. 

“You didn’t take one or two, you actually took like twenty two,” the older one said, a sudden worry creeping with its shadow across his heart. George looked tired and there was no hesitation he had taken the Pastilles a few days ago. 

“I wanted to make sure they’re alright as the recipe is quite complicated,” he explained his actions successfully enough in his mind. Fred frowned, “We did add the _ murtlap essence _ eventually.” George made a face, but said nothing.

He didn’t know what was happening lately and couldn’t figure it out. After two first Pastilles it was clear they do their job, but some inner force made George want to take a few more. He felt _ lighter _ later on, it felt better than playing pretend. He felt like a stranger in his own body as every time he would see Fred it was like seeing him for the first time. The point is there never was a first time. He didn’t have any idea on how big fool he must have been to ignore Remus’ words about the other twin confessing to somebody else. The older twin’s eyes were piercing themselves through him, making his heart skip a beat. Feeling pain did the same thing somehow and he made sure if Fred takes it it wouldn’t harm him badly. 

“Weasel Boy, when you are sad my butt hurts,” the older one joked shyly patting brother’s shoulder. The younger grimaced with a smile on his pale face, crossing his arms. 

“I’ve told you many times that bathing only when the dirt is talking to you isn’t enough,” the younger one took up the baton, smiling wryly. Fred chuckled packing the nougats into small, violet test-boxes.  _That’s not the case, Georgie,_ he told him voicelessly. Fred took a piece of the _ Nosebleed Nougat _ in his palm and hesitated to put it into his mouth. 

They were pretty troublesome and took a lot of efforts and time to make. George stood up to insure brother’s silhouette. The  _Fanting Fancies_ were somehow the easiest of the Skiving Snack-box. Gred and Forge enjoyed making them as it was easy and not long process. 

“Wait a moment and we will be joking once again,” Fred said, swallowing the chocolate candy. The twins felt each other safety halo embracing them. George observed him closely, but after a few seconds nothing was happening. They shrugged and the older one wanted to eat another one.

“They’re very sweet and truffle-like. Like them a lot,” he described the taste, already holding another one in his hand. He licked the chocolate cream off his lips. George frowned, a wrinkle showed on his long face, “They don’t seem to work, though.”

Then, out of the nowhere, Fred felt something wet on his Cupid’s bow and George jumped to the chair to grab his sweater and pressed it against twin’s nose. Absentmindedly, the older twin touched the blood and watched it stain his fingers. The younger one took his wand in rush. 

_„_ _Episkey!_ ”  he pointed Fred’s nose, as a blue light appeared and the older twin felt the needles beneath his skin. They waited a few seconds, but it did not stop the blood from dripping. It usually worked and panic started in George’s mind. 

“That’s a lot,” George said worriedly, holding the sweater in one arm, as another one was reaching Fred’s face. When his fingers touched the silky cheek of Fred’s, the older twin felt his hurt rush. These big, amber eyes looked at him and he went out of his mind. His face was hot and suddenly the blood spouted heavily, covering the twins’ pants and the floor. The older one felt faintly and took the twin’s arm to allow George lead him to the Hospital Wing. 

***

The minutes passed terribly slowly, as George was sitting during the DADA class alone, when Lee chose the seat next to Angelina. Him and the girl kept on talking the whole time and the younger twin truly hoped she will be occupied enough to forget about Fred. Some part of him was wishing the twins had never met Johnson and the older one wouldn’t be interested in her.  Yet, another part claimed, that it was Fred’s preference and if not her then another. If George was himself in Katie Bell’s body, then would the other twin look at him differently? 

“Will we be practicing the spells?” Kenneth asked, as Umbridge asked him to repeat the question again. In the middle of his sentence, the thin boy fell silent, realizing his own silliness. George felt the empty seat’s cold embracing him, as he was thinking about Fred in the Hospital Wing. Without him sun didn’t seem to be shining anymore and the magic only caused sorrow. He read the paragraph as told and the anger started growing in his intestines. 

_ When a extreme situation, students are recommended to Apparate as fast as possible. It is well-known such situations do not happen often, but especially parents with children ought to follow the procedure. It is highly dangerous to cast spells in front of the aggressor, it is best to stay quiet and obedient. _

George frowned deeply, clenching his fist. As hell he will be able to protect his twin when doing this nonsense. For sure if someone attacks him, he will chit-chat with them about the last quidditch match. It is not excluded, that he would be in the situation, when the _Unforgivable Curse_ will be necessary. He didn’t like the idea, but it is better to cause than to feel. 

“And what if someone grabs my arm, when I Apparate?” he asked loudly from upon his book. The whole classroom fell silent and it made him more self-confident than he had been before. Umbridge turned around from the blackboard. She seemed to be in utter confusion.

“None of these will happen in real life, Mister Weasley. It is just hypothetical,” she said smiling, as the skin on her cheeks stretched on her bones.  _Hypothetical my ass_.  Fred was hurt and what if there would be no Madame Pomfrey nor Dumbledore? 

“ _What if sometimes hypothesis isn’t enough?_ ”  his voice echoed in the quiet classroom, as Umbridge put her birch wand away. She raised her auburn eyebrows high enough to make her face look ridiculous. If Fred would have been there, it goes without saying he will defend his brother. George didn’t use to fight alone. George wasn’t used to be alone at all. The twins came up as the pair in the very beginning.

“Where do the students’ such nonsense come from? Who would be interested in attacking innocent children?” the older woman spluttered, rising her head high. Anger was pumping blood through the twin’s veins with force. How could somebody that old be that stupid? Or maybe she is just well-paid. The classroom seemed big and empty, as there was no one to dare to defend George. To be honest, never has he felt that helpless ever before. If he only could, he would make her get fired as soon as possible. She didn’t deserve to be the teacher as McGonagall or Flitwick were. The elder pair has helped the twins numerous amount of times, while the pink git could only possibly give them depression. 

“What if some criminal broke from the Azkaban and attacked me in the street?” he heard his own voice speaking in the cold classroom, a droplet of irony audible. She checked him out from his shoes to his sweater and chuckled softly to herself. 

“Mister Weasley, you and I know forced jokes and smile will only open you a circus entrance.” she said beamingly, tracing the words in the textbook with her painted nail.  “ _Get out my class, you idiot,_ ”  it meant. George wasn’t dumb.

He stood up and grabbed his textbook. It seemed easier than inside his mind. Lee Jordan was sitting behind him; his mouth wide open. Angelina stopped noting, looking him in the eyes. _ What are you looking at?, _ he thought to himself, sudden bitterness biting his intestines. He passed Umbridge just before the door, the short woman standing proudly with her hands behind his back. Didn’t even seem to wink at George’s departure. There was not a doubt she was in Slytherin when she attended Hogwarts. If only she did have a heart, it would pump green blood. 

When he was just about to grab the Hospital Wing’s door handle, he spotted Ginny talking to Dean Thomas. The boy was tugging her red locks behind her ear, as she pressed her books to her chest. George frowned, opening the door.  _What they all saw in random dates not lasting more than a month?_

Fred was lying on his side, covered in white sheets. His shiny, red locks were sticking out the clean pillow. He was scratching something onto a piece of paper he was given. The Hospital Wing was almost empty. The windows clear and rays of the sun making their way through to the piles on the floor. It wasn’t cold here to George’s surprise. Madame Pomfrey was changing the sheets to new ones, smiling at the younger twin. 

“You stu _dying_ or someone has cursed my sight?” he asked, feeling a heavy stone being removed from his chest. His heart seemed to be pumping blood into his veins again, as his lungs seemed to have oxygen inside themselves again. Whenever Fred was close, he felt completed. He didn’t need to control himself and he could let it all out. As if some wild animal woke up in him every time the breath escaped his twin’s lips. 

“Taking some notes. How is the business doing?” the older one asked, putting his quill away. George brought hand to his cheek to count the profits inside his mind. 

“Around two dozens of  _Fever Fudge_ and three dozens of fireworks I reckon,” he listed, sitting on the bed edge.  _That’s a lot_ ,  Fred’s eyes beamed at him happily. 

“I’ve started packing them already. The youngest peanuts are fighting over the  _Puking Pastilles._ George said, fixing the sheets.  _How are you,_ his face asked, but he already knew it. They often felt like a one body. 

“Have a couple of painful blisters here and there,” Fred said blushing slightly, looking at Madame Pomfrey sweeping the floor from the corner of his eye. She didn’t seem to care, though.  _Here and where,_ George’s eyes asked his brother. 

“Let’s say  sitting on a broomstick would  hurt ,” he answered with a bubbly giggle, ringing in the younger twin’s ears as a trillion little bells. 

_ The birthday cakes were shining brightly in the dimness of the Weasleys’ living room, as every of the family members gathered around. Twenty blue candles were sinking into the spongy cake covered in a sea of whipping cream and sprinkles. Molly has written “George” on one of them, but Charlie asked her something and she began to write another “G” on the second cake by accident. So basically, the names on the cakes said „George” and „Gred”, but nobody seemed to care.  _

_“Happy Birthday to Fred and George!” everybody said, as George tried to hide his blushing face behind twin’s back. William put his warm hand onto Fred’s arm, as Charlie ruffled George’s hair. Arthur lifted the camera to his face, as he said, “Boys, step out, please.”_

_ The twins did as told, holding their little hands. George put his head onto Fred’s shoulder smiling widely for the camera. A few minutes later, the twins started unpacking their gifts as usual, while Molly and Bill were laying the table. The big, oblong packages drew their attention. The twins kneeled on the floor, Arthur, Charlie, Percy, Ron and Ginny accompanying them. George started to unfold the big, red bow, but Fred just ripped the paper off. “Cleansweep Seven”, the wooden stick said in gold letters. The fibers were stiff and the wood decent-looking. Fred absentmindedly grabbed twin’s hand. The twins opened their mouths looking thrilled at the gifts they have received. _

_ “It was Percy’s idea,” Arthur said proudly, putting his hand on the older boy’s back. Perce bowed his head, blushing under his freckles.  _

_ The twins smiled and grabbed their broomsticks; ready to storm out the house like a hurricane. That was it, lively and unpredictable. Charlie had only managed to pull the sweaters over their redheads before the young boys ran outside. They made it behind the shed, where Bill and Charlie would play Quidditch all days long. They did the “Up!” thing as Bill had taught them before and the broomsticks jumped into their small hands. Fred took a step forward to pull George to him.  _

_ “Happy Birthday, Georgie,” he said, giving him a peck on the cheek. The younger twin’s skin felt hot and moist as did the air even though, the first leaves were just about to be seen. Arthur would always say the twins’ birth shooed the winter away.  _

_ “Happy Birthday, Freddie,” the other boy said, wiping his brother’s saliva off his cheek. The evening became cold and the steam  coming out their mouths. _

_ “Promise you’ll never fly away from me?” George asked, looking straight at his older twin. Fred laughed, tapping his fingers against the wooden handle. He grabbed his younger twin’s hand, pouring all his juvenile affection out, while doing so.  _

_ “Unless you won’t do it first.”  _

_ The twins sat on the broomsticks and raced in the Ottery’s direction.  _

***

Fred lied alone in the dark Hospital Wing, because of the abnormalities on his ass. Madame Pomfrey decided to leave him there for a night. To be honest,  he was _truly devastated_.  There was no sign of the bleeding from his nose, though. Since the day one he has been waking up next to George. For more than seventeen years he opened his eyes, feeling his twin’s warmth. If something was good, George was there. If something bad happened, George was there as well. He felt like crying for their narrow bedroom at the Burrow. A part of him stated it was good for them to be apart now. Maybe the thing he felt for his twin would finally go away. He will never say it out loud, but he liked it like that. Fred Weasley was a  boy after all. 

He turned to his side, looking at the vial Madame Pomfrey left for him to drink before he goes to sleep. He felt anxious and scared. He knew the older woman was sitting in her office and reading a newspaper candle-lit. He was the only one here and the skin on his butt caused pain, but he wouldn’t even bother. When one of the twins couldn’t sleep, the other one was there to talk to, to hear his brother out. The room seemed big and chilly, the stone beaming hostilely at the Weasley twin. They were adults scared of sleeping separately. Was it their parents’ fault? Or maybe the twins’ themselves? If they weren’t twins, would Fred be stronger? Or totally opposite? 

He felt tired, but not sleepy at all. He pointlessly reached for a hollow hand, but nothing was here. George had brought him some pumpkin cookies from the dinner before, but he was full at the moment. He has dreamed of his twin for every night this month. 

_ About holding him close to his body, away from pain and sorrow. Cuddling with him on their creaky bed. Their fingers intertwined, their thighs together and George’s back against his belly.  _

The bed seemed so cold it struck Fred as if his feet were ice-like and sore. He wished his twin would sneak out his bed to come to the older twin and caress his hair until he falls asleep. To his disappointment, just before his mind slipped away, Madame Pomfrey’s hand was put on his forehead to check his temperature. The faithless warmth deepened his sadness. 

_ Fred was somewhere he had been before, but couldn’t make out where it was. It was dark and not a room at all, more like a big open space. He felt standing there, as the hollowness and doom peaked from every inch of the surroundings. His body twitched, aching to move. He then heard a thousand voices telling him he was wrong and disgusting. He didn’t know any of the voices, as malaise squished his insides. _

_ Who does he think he is?  _

_ What a sodomite! _

_ Pervert, uh, I can’t think about this. _

_ It is your sick choice, you madman.  _

_ Do you like to jack off also to your father?  _

_ Pathetic.  _

_ I can’t even look at him.  _

_ It is so wrong I don’t even know where to start.  _

_ What a sicko. _

_ His twin should change his name. _

_ I would kill myself.  _

_ I didn’t know people could be that crazy.  _

_ Does his mother still look people in the eyes? _

_ Are all his siblings the same? _

_ It should be treated.  _

_ Is it really that hard to find a girlfriend? _

_ Everybody should know this and avoid him. _

_ He jumped to reach the voices’ owners and beat the shit out of them. His fists would go into nothing and no further. He felt ash settling on his skin. How could they say such a nonsense? Not even knowing him? What he has went through? What hurt him? Then, a deep voice came by, making a shiver go down Fred’s spine.  _

_ “Don’t you wanna make them pay, Frederick? Don’t their words ruin your day?” _

_ He clenched his jaw, when the “Frederick” _

_ sounded by. He saw himself beating Malfoy very cruel way, as he was taller and the fragile blonde didn’t even know how to fight, as distinct from the gingerhead, who grew up surrounded by older brothers. Fred’s eyes followed his fists going against Draco’s face till it would swell. His usually milky face turned red and the veins came out.  _

_ “You filthy scum-sucker!” the blonde growled, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth; he ran away shouting death threats and insulting him and his ancestors. The Fred? approached him, a smirk wide on his face. He smelled ash and flesh. Somehow the real Fred made a step backwards. The second Fred wiped his hands against his pants. The blood stains shone on the fabric, causing another shiver go down the boy’s spine. _

_ “You have never sharpened your teeth as George does. You were born with these fangs, Fred.” _

_ Fred was not a wild animal to use fangs. They could have hurt his twin. George would always be against causing unnecessary pain or consequences.  _

_ “The wild animals don’t think,” he said shoving his hand into his pocket to feel a bit safer than before. The being checked every inch of the Weasley’s tall figure and started circling around the older twin. Where was George in all this mess? Where did Malfoy go? Was his twin safe?  _

_ “What differences you from these animals and Malfoy, Fred?” the fake himself asked ironically showing his teeth. Was the person in front of him dumb? He and Malfoy couldn’t be more different than they have been already. He grimaced, as he imagined he and Draco being on the same side of the coin.  _

_ “You and him never have been stupid,” the creature claimed, crouching in front of him. The older twin suddenly felt proud. As if the world was his. Malfoy never stupid? Fred bit his lips not to burst out. The being chuckled as well, hiding its hands inside jeans’ pockets.  _

_ Remorse quickly made its way into the twin’s heart. Malfoy was animal for sure. Doing anything to satisfy his needs, unlike the twins. George would never go this way. And what about Fred? Out of sudden, he felt the being piercing him with its gaze and then the image appeared under his eyelids.  _

_The photo above the fireplace of Charlie with the other keepers pulling one of the three dragons into the cage using all their force. The dragon whining and trying to bite them, as the other two creatures watched. Slowly, the vision disappeared as soon as it came and the other Fred nodded._

_ “And you both do have something holding you back from being happy,” the being noticed, as Fred lowered himself down to his knees. He would never hurt George in any way. His twin as something holding him back? No way; his brother was his blessing, the best thing that has ever happened to him. How could he even think the other way? All of these were not George’s fault. To be honest, it wasn’t anyone else’s fault.  _

_ “Malfoy would die to wear you stretched sweater instead of his french couture,” the creature told him cunningly, its big eyes boring into him. What Malfoy would see in his cheap clothes and numerous brothers? They all thought Draco had it all. Who would have wanted to give up their achievements and goods to become poor and a part of something bigger? It wasn’t about selfishness, but survival instinct. He suddenly started to feel alone as a caged dragon. Who was taking care of Malfoy beside his gorillas? Why would Fred even care about the blonde git?  _

_ “You both only smile when you bite,” the words echoed inside his head, as the being continued its monologue. Fred didn’t want to fight for himself anymore. He knew he had lost it a long time ago. It was true. George would always neglect the joke ideas implying additional pain or cruelty. The older one was pretty fond of them. Fred felt disgusted for himself and covered his face with his hand. Did Malfoy feel similar? Has he been doing this only because his own sorrow?  _

_ “The difference is you don’t do anything.” _

_ Fred raised his gaze at the other person in front of him. He was doing his share in coming up with ideas and making them come true. Malfoy was harmful for Draco undeniably.  _

_ “Maybe you would try something more to protect your precious twin?” the being suggested, a small Dark Mark appearing on his forearm. He twitched, flinching. It was hard to just look at himself with the Mark on his skin. Was he a bad person? Was it the reason for his feeling for Georgie? The creature smiled wryly at him, as the Mark hissed in his direction.  _

_ “What if you actually knew how to fight the enemy after becoming one?”  _

_“I am no fucking death eater...” he managed to shout before he felt something pulling him awake. _

“Freddie?...Freddie!” George’s warm hand caressed his forehead, as his body sent the  finally it’s alright  signal to the older twin’s mind. His already opened eyes were blinking as if charmed. McGonagall and Dumbledore were standing next to the bed Fred was taken to. Woman’s sleepy eyes gleamed with worry, while Dumbledore seemed all fresh and dressed up to the nines. George kneeled on the floor, holding brother’s hand; wearing his usual pyjamas. He looked particularly thin and skinny. 

“What happened, Fred?” Dumbledore asked quietly, as the young, sick student from Hufflepuff was laid onto the bed by Madame Pomfrey. George used a tissue to wipe the sweat of Fred’s face. 

“I...I...” he tried to speak, but his throat was dry as the parchment and his eyes felt hot as fire. He swallowed hard and the saliva stopped inside his throat. Twin’s hand squeezed his wrist. 

“Fred has been acting oddly for a while now, and today’s incident... I reckon somebody had cursed him,” the younger twin said, as the older looked him in the eyes disbelieving. They thought it was caused by some dark magic? How oblivious they were. 

_ If only you did know.  _

He didn’t know if he wanted to cry or laugh at loud. How ironic it was to assume Fred was cursed by some dark force, when it was his brother who was  _charming_. How dumb he was to allow himself to fall out his role. The starring role of the louder twin. How long will it take before he is exposed? Before the most precious person in the universe will hate him? 

“It started an hour ago. I heard a strange noise and then Fred tossing and screaming and I was afraid he will choke on the _Draught of Peace_ , so I thought his twin’s presence would do even better at calming his nerves down,” Madame Pomfrey said from above the clean sheets she was folding. Fred felt embarrassed as the blush crept onto his cheeks. He detested being weak and in need for somebody else than George’s help. They all looked at him and it was unpleasant. 

“ I sense strange halo there. It may be true,” Dumbledore approached Fred and put his wrinkled, warm hand on the Weasley’s shoulder. The older twin felt sweat on his back as if the old man knew everything from the start. 

“You want to tell us something about it?” McGonagall asked calmly, sitting on the bed as Molly would always do. He felt the  comfort , but not the one he needed desperately. He quickly shook his head.  It would be the stupidest idea ever.  He would have been banished from the school forever and one day longer. Then, George’s big amber orbs looked at him with love and understanding. If he told them about the Dark Mark stuff, they would probably look closer at the twins’ activities and their joke business would fade. He wanted George to have fun during their last year of childhood free from sorrow and pain they’re going to experience in a few next years. 

_ Every smile you give somebody else is a rain on my parade.  _

“Maybe it would be better if you used the  _Pensieve_?”  Dumbledore suggested with a parental tone. Fred’s orbs widened in fear, as he shook his head in savage way. What if somebody unwanted would come across it by an accident. Even worse, what if somebody saw it for their own purpose? The evidence would ruin his life. _Their lives._ George’s reputation and good opinion was more important than his selfish desires. 

“No, I’m afraid someone unwanted would have a use of it.”

After a quarter, Dumbledore and McGonagall went to their rooms to spend the rest of the night in peace. The older twin was given a _Sleeping Draught_. His eyelids immediately felt heavy as all the guilt he has felt this summer. His body was shutting itself down, but he wasn’t dreaming yet.

Unlike George, who was sitting by Fred’s bed on a very uncomfortable chair he was given by Madame Pomfrey. His hips unusually hurt as his long legs must been bent to fit under the low bed. He for sure lost some weight again. The older one told him to go to sleep properly, but he refused at the moment he saw the dark circles under Fred’s swollen eyes. His twin needed him right there,  _beside him._ And George’s task was to keep him the company until he peacefully falls asleep. He made sure Madame Pomfrey went away to help the younger girl wash herself and leaned to his brother. 

“Did you make up with Angelina?” he asked his twin mostly to assure himself. He wanted the truth. He wanted no hopeful thoughts anymore. His eyes shone sadly in the dark. 

“No, I have only told her about our kidney thing.” he revealed sleepily to his brother with closed eyelids, causing George to jump up in the chair. Fred opened his eyes with a struggle to look at his face.  _It is our private business_ _,_ his younger twin’s eyes said, but there was a hint of a spark in them; something more than meets the eye. 

“I don’t want everybody to know how they cut us open during one July evening,” he told his twin, but sounded as if a dozen of fireworks spoke through him. It was long time ago, when Fred’s seen George that surprised. A naive part of him wanted to believe his twin wanted Fred to be only for himself. A rational one said he is misinterpreting his reactions. 

“I know, but it was crucial, what if something happened on the pitch?” he explained, but the other Weasley didn’t seemed to be very convinced. Fred knew reveling their sickness to Angelina invaded their privacy. He wasn’t mad at him, though. He seemed like hearing a very good news, which had their flaws. It was pretty odd for George to act like that. 

He closed his eyes again, letting his body finally rest. The older twin felt his brother tucking him in, adjusting the pillow to the shape of his red head. He didn’t even bother to tell George to go to his bed. He already knew  his twin won’t go anywhere without him. _He_ _ wanted George. Desired George. Fantasied about George. _ But what if their brother bond would never come back? What if something changes and they will lose it all? His fed-up mind let itself fall into a peaceful slumber, knowing that the younger twin was still sitting next to him and holding his hand tightly. 

Fred wasn’t particularly sleeping; he was aware of some Madame Pomfrey’s steps and his twin’s even breathing. Sounds that escaped his brother’s body made him feel at home. The younger Hufflepuff called, as the elder woman appeared. After an hour or so, the room fell silent, as the woman went away to her office to rest and the girl fell asleep, blowing the last candle away. He felt George sitting there, fighting battles inside his mind. He knew his twin too well, yet he couldn’t figure out what occupied his brother’s thoughts. He felt his body regenerating itself after the stress exposure. The  dream  felt so real. He was aware of his limbs and was speaking freely. To be honest, the boy was more scared somebody would read his mind more than being cursed. 

Then, out of sudden, he felt George shifting beside him. His heart skipped a beat; he was a selfish git, but enjoyed brother’s presence. He didn’t want to be alone at this very right moment, when the visions can come back any second. To his surprise, his twin’s silhouette leaned towards him until he felt his brother’s sweet breath on his cheek. 

_Move,_ his whole body kept on screaming, but he refused to give it any attention. He pretended to be asleep and the  _Sleeping Draught_ did some of the job. He was glad it stopped his blood-pressure from escalating. He was careful not to move his eyes underneath his eyelids, otherwise he would be exposed. George stayed in the position for a few awfully long minutes. 

After that, he leaned in and pecked his twin’s lips. Fred’s body seemed to explode, but his mind focused on “sleeping”. He wanted to grab George’s neck, he  _needed_ to intertwine his fingers into his red, silky locks. It lasted a second maybe, but to Fred’s  starved mind  it has been a whole century. He felt as if not eating for years. As if living underwater. The feeling that overwhelming he barely held back his instincts. Fred has become wild and savage, ready to attack every second. The beloved lips on his own. George’s sweet pumpkin smell hitting his nose and his warm yet dry lips brushing against the older twin’s ones. He knew it was just a peck they would exchange as children and every grown up would laugh. But now, they weren’t the kids under the Christmas tree anymore. They were adults not to mess around, but to save the wizarding world. 

As fast as George leaned in, he moved away. Fred felt his brother’s shoulders being put onto his legs underneath the sheets and soon his twin rested his head against them. The older twin almost howled as a hurt animal. He quickly remembered the incident to repeat it in his mind tomorrow morning. And the next day’s afternoon. And the next year. Fred’s wild animal was fed once, but it didn’t seem to satisfy its  need . 

_ You let me out of my cage once.  _

Dryness of his throat and the bladder woke him up a few minutes later in his mind. In reality, it was already nine o’clock. First morning classes have already started. George wasn’t there and he was alone with the younger Hufflepuff student, who was lying on the opposite bed under the window. She was reading a potion book. The room smelled some toasts and beans, while the world outside seemed to be waking up in fog and rain. He remembered yesterday’s thing and thanks to the  _Sleeping Draught’_ s  effect, his body didn’t seem to be able to react in any deviated way. He wanted to make himself sure it happened for real and was not a wanted imagination of his. 

“Hey, can you tell me when did my brother go away?” Fred asked her with a husky voice of his. It hurt to swallow the saliva. She looked at him from above the second year book she was studying and tilted her head to the side. 

“He left just after you’ve closed your eyes; covered you up and asked the lady if you were going to leave the wing next day. Then, he was gone.” she smiled politely, grabbing a toast from her bedside table. Fred’s empty eyes watched her chew the bread. His heart pumped blood as if it was bleeding out. The older twin’s eyes were hot and his fists clenched. 

_ It was all a dream? He swore he could feel his twin’s soft flesh on himself.  _

He didn’t eat a bite of the breakfast assured by Madame Pomfrey. 

***

“We present you a brand new Weasleys’ Peace Disturbers!” Fred announced, throwing the glowing ball in the air, where it sizzled loudly before going into George’s hand. The students were watching them gasping, eyes wide open following the toy around. The firework was making cracking sound, when touched by the twins’ hands. It was cold and tickled Fred’s chilly hand. The days were getting colder and the twins wore their sweaters that Molly sent them; along with a letter of her fury. He watched George’s smiled face, when his twin kept on saying nice stuff about their new products. 

“You can but them on Friday morning for one galleon, three sickles and eleven knuts!” George said loudly, smiling prettily over his scarf. 

Hermione watched them closely, as she recently learned about the twins giving their products to younger students to test them. She was ready to owl Mrs. Weasley to let her know about the twins’ business.  It seemed almost normal. The hole in Fred’s heart was growing bigger everyday, but he refused to believe it. The more smiles Angelina gave him, the more sad looks George gave. The calmer it got, the painful it was. His brother was losing weight and thought nobody would notice. Fred noticed. Noticed his palpable ribs, when he his arms were embracing his twin. His younger twin would always skip meals if something was on. Fred would do anything to know what was breaking George’s heart. 

Ron laughed, as the beaming firework almost touched his pointy nose. Then, it began to fly back to the older twin, when it got crushed in between the way. Fred saw George making a face and turning his head to the side, where the pink bitch was standing with her clipboard. George felt  furious.  It was their only model, as they created it barely yesterday. Yet, he didn’t dare to say a word like the rest of the crowd watching the twins’ products. She didn’t say anything no  _screw you _ nor  _you go home_ , but smiled rudely and swung on her feet and started to walk away. Her hair perfect as always, her face stupid as always. 

“So what?” Fred snorted towards her back covered in her pink suit, as George’s widened eyes followed his face. She stopped, but did not turned around. The crowd watched silently with terror, as if the Weasley twin was cursing her with  _Crucio_.  George’s presence and his own issues inside his mind were enough for him to go ballistic. He was ready to exchange with her as if there were equal. The apathy was making itself a way through his heart slowly.

“If it is our free time, then we ought to do whatever we want,” he hissed not recognizing himself. The frustration George was giving him was driving him crazy and it showed in every single aspect of his life.

The shoes on a wide heel clattered against the cobbled quad, as she approached Fred slow enough to make Ron go pale. The older Weasley twin didn’t seem to be caring, he’s had some serious troubles on his own. She noted something with her quill and said with a smile, “Mr. Weasley, you see me today after your classes at my office.”

“What is happening to Fred?” Hermione whispered loud enough for everybody around her to hear it. Harry shrugged and Ron asked, “And what is supposed to be happening?” 

She made a face, rolling her eyes, yet continued, “Well, he was in the Hospital Wing no further than a month ago, he is insulting the teachers and is clearly annoyed for some reason.”

_I would like to know what’s going on as well,_ George thought, frowning. He was Fred’s twin, the person who should know about his issues in the first place. 

“Insulting?” Harry asked disbelievingly knowing the twins and their approach to insulting any teacher seriously. They just didn’t give a shit about the teachers. George didn’t feel as if it was insulting the pink git, but it was unnecessary. 

The air got even colder than before, as the quad fell silent. Fred looked at her with pure anger. She was going to send him to the detention not giving him any real reason? Potter told the twins what happened, when he was in there. She made him write the sentences with the  _ Blood Quill _ _,_ which has left scars on his left hand. If his feeling for George was the case, then he didn’t care about anything else. The target of his affection grabbed his wrist, squishing it tightly.  _What a bitch_ _,_ he articulated towards his twin, as his heart pounded loudly inside his pale chest. 

“And your twin is obligated to come too.”

***

The room was  _painfully pink._ Every single thing there was pink except for the twins. She was already sitting in her armchair, sipping her tea. The tea wasn’t pink to Fred’s disappointment. He saw George’s anxious expression and felt the need to protect  _what’s his._ He did as wanted to, positioning himself in front of his twin. He heard George’s breathing steadying itself as an effect on his gesture. Fred looked around closely and he noticed that even the wooden, art déco table had a rosy shade to it. The cats looked at the twins from the plates they were painted on, the stone-brick walls painted pink as well. They stood on the fluffy rug, staining it with their muddy shoes, but they couldn’t care less. Fred was blaming himself for bringing George into this. 

Umbridge put her tea behind her name plate saying,  _Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquistor. Inquisitor my ass_ ,  Fred thought annoyed. She took a piece of paper out the drawer along with the quill, of course pink. The paper was rosy, small ornaments drawn along the lines. 

“You know the procedure, dears,” she smiled at them, but looking in front of herself at the same time. The woman gestured them to sit down and stood up to drag a second chair. Then, she took her tea and sat in the armchair next to the fireplace, from where she had a great view on them. At the moment Fred finally understood why did she wanted them both. 

_ She wanted George to watch Fred suffer.  _

George sat down and took the quill in his hand, as bewildered Fred watched him took the action.  _There was no fucking way he will let George sacrifice himself for Fred_.  Before he could even get his thoughts together, George touched the paper with the quill’s tip.

“I don’t have any ink,” the younger twin said, putting his other hand next to the paper. She snorted, stirring the rest of her tea with a spoon. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Mr. George, it is not you who is going to be punished,” she said smiling widely at Fred, who has been standing there, using all of his force not to let his mouth be open. She told them apart, moreover, she actually thought Fred deserved his  _punishment_. The older twin put his hand onto George’s shoulder, pulling him up. The younger Weasley refused to stand up for a minute, boring his eyes into the table’s surface.

The twins exchanged their places and now Fred sat in the comfortable chair with George by his right side. He was more than the arm’s length away, so his twin couldn’t reach him. He looked at his twin’s big, worried eyes examining him as if he was hurt already. 

_“_ _I won’t be a clown,_ ”  she dictated him, humming.  _Excuse me?_ ,  his look asked. George gulped and played with his hands. There was no point of refusing or discussing with her. 

Fred took the quill inside his hand and started writing the  _I won’t,_ when his hand burned as if bitten by a basilisk and being put into the fire at the same time. He groaned with pain, clenching his teeth tightly. George tried to reach him with both of his hands, but when realized said intent, quickly pretended to be fixing the cushion he was sitting on. She watched Fred closely, every single pain-wrinkle forming on his forehead, as his hand kept on writing the letters one by one as fast as possible. 

Fred Weasley turned seventeen a half year ago, he and George have probably done more screwed up things during these years than everybody from their year altogether, but this woman was a  _phenomenon_ even for them.

Quiet grunts and pants echoed in the room, as the younger twin bit on his nails until they were numb. After ten awfully long sentences, he was done. The tiny blood droplets stained the silky tablecloth, as he clenched his teeth, throwing the quill on the table. 

“Have a nice day, my dears,” she stood up giving Fred one last look in the eyes. The older twin’s tears shone shyly from the corners of his amber eyes, as they followed her silhouette across the room. George was already standing behind him, putting his hand under his brother’s arm. The twins quickly went outside the office, where the last students were going to the dormitories or library, doing their business. The twins made their way to the narrow, empty corridor free of paintings, ghosts and students. 

The day was declining just as Fred’s nerve and patience. For how long is he going to play the show? George took the tissue out his pocket and started to gently wipe the blood away with it. He stopped it, when the older twin hissed in pain. He then brought the pale hand to his lips and kissed it gently. 

“My lord...”  he whispered huskily and Fred snorted. He smiled seeing George’s white teeth so close to himself. Even if the darkest moments, his brother would always prove the sun was still there above him. The softness of his brother’s flesh on his skin making his thoughts rush through his mind. 

_ It feels the same as once upon that dream.  _

The orange light of the dying sun was shining bravely over the twin’s faces, as Fred’s arms brought George closer to himself than ever. The twins could feel each other heartbeats and their legs were intertwined together just like their chests. Fred put his head onto brother’s shoulder. The younger’s collarbones poking the skin on his cheek. Finally, his twin’s was his, nobody else’s. He was his moon, because without the moon there would be no sun. 

“I..,” Fred started anxiously, feeling his chest go numb. His twin shifted, but only to cover brother’s hurt palm with his hand. He was more than sure George could feel the tension, “I love you, mate,” he said exhaling deeply, as the stone, the castle-like heavy was off his chest now. He immediately felt better, when saying it out loud. 

“I love you too, Freddie, but our customers are impatient,” the other one said, stoking the older’s shoulder, “I’m sorry I couldn’t carry out the punishment myself.” Fred shook his head. He was the one responsible for his actions, the  leader.  There weren’t any bells at the castle, yet Fred heard a thousand of them ringing in his ears.

***

“Attention!” Johnson shouted loudly, as the Bludger swished in the Alicia Spinnet’s direction. George hit away the iron object with his bat, making it change its way to the the stands. Fred felt jealousy pricking the skin behind his training suit. The scar on his hand itches behind his glove. He levitated idly in the air, allowing himself to rest along with Katie Bell. It has been a week since Fred’s punishment. The orders for Skiving Snackboxes were never ending, making the twins packing them at night. Everybody wanted to try it and sneak out the class under the pretense of feeling sick. The pink git couldn’t do anything about it. The snack-boxes has been the twins big success so far.

Fred followed Katie Bell in the baskets’ direction. The air was really piercing his lungs, as the November has already begun. He lowered his head to avoid the Quaffle going next to them, when the Bludger circled him and Katie, before hitting her right in her nose. The blood fountained from her face, as she has lost her consciousness briefly, falling limply until Fred grabbed her waist, letting her broomstick fall to the sand. George looked at his twin hugging Katie to his chest, her blood staining his neck. Angelina quickly assisted them, helping Fred to touch down. 

They laid Katie on the cold sand and she tried to sit up slowly, Fred’s hand on her back. The whole team was standing in the circle around them, watching her closely as if she was just about to disappear. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see it coming.” George’s twinsaid cherishing the younger one’s pinch of jealousy. The younger Weasley scolded himself in his mind; Katie was hurt. Fred was not doing anything special, just a friendly worry. Yet, there was a part of George wanting to believe the younger twin was sitting there and the older twin was there, taking care of him. A strange desire made him ache for Fred’s touch. Simple one, slight touch of the hands working on their new products. 

“George, do we have any  _Nosebleed Nougats_ left?” he heard his beloved voice asking. The one making him shine like diamonds the Weasleys never had. He nodded, pointing the Gryffindor tent’s direction. The air became stuffy, as Katie was continuously wiping her nose, but the blood wouldn’t stop. Before she would realize, George was back with some  _Nosebleed Nougats_ inside the palm of his pale, freezing hand. The steam was coming off his mouth and the cold breeze was coming through his short hair. Thanks to the temperature, the chocolate did not melt. Fred took one of the candies and handed it to Bell. 

“Eat the white chocolate part,” he commanded, breaking the sweetness in the half. Gryffindor team watched the pale girl swallowing the chocolate, when out of sudden, the blood spouted even harder. Smelling puddles were forming, staining the sand, the clothes, the hair. 

“You gave her the wrong part,” George stated, eating the remaining chocolate to test it. Nothing happened except for the nice, creamy taste followed by sugar and vanilla down his throat. Angelina and Alicia somehow managed to mitigate the bleeding by pressing their handkerchiefs against Katie’s nose. 

“Get her to the Hospital Wing, _Gingerbread-men,_ ” Angelina said, tugging girl’s hair behind her ear. The twins grabbed the brunette under her arms and lifted the girl up, taking her to the Hospital Wing. The rain started and they increased their pace to make it before Katie will slip on the wet stones.

“Seriously, the match is in two weeks, we can’t afford to lose our players if we wanna win,” they barely heard Angelina saying from afar.

At the moment they have closed the Madame Pomfrey’s Kingdom’s door, Hermione approached the twins, her badge shining bravely on her chest. She stared at at their stained suits. The boys’ faces seemed tired and paler than they should be. The twins waited for the scolding part and for her threatening them to owl Molly. None of them happened. 

“Fred, Dumbledore wants to see you,” she said using an unusual voice, motherly type, worry was leaking from her words. George looked at Fred. His stomach knitted itself imagining his twin getting suspended from Hogwarts. The twins liked to have fun, but getting kicked of was not something they weren’t afraid of. The older twin didn’t look much impressed though, he just nodded and thanked for the information. 

***

“Professor Dumbledore?” asked Fred, standing on his toes to look above the balustrade. The old man appeared shortly after that, smiling slightly at young Weasley. The room was warm, as the fireplace was making quiet sounds of burning the wood inside. Fred felt strange in his own body as if he switched his one with someone else. Once he woke up different at Grimmauld Place. 

“Fred, do you have any idea why are you here?” Dumbledore asked gently, resting his elbow on his art déco armchair. The coziness of the room was making the twin’s sense of timing go waste. His mind was shutting down to any signals from outside. Fred felt like living in slow motion. Everything seemed to be happening so fast,  _too fast._

“ Guess it’s best to say I can’t keep up with some things,” he said sitting down on a chair Albus pointed him. The radio kept on working quietly, killing the silence Fred was so sick of. 

“You were in the Hospital Wing, in the detention and gave Katie Bell the nosebleed chocolate this month, don’t you think a lot has happened lately?” the old wrinkled man asked calmly. The Weasley thought he tried to gain his trust, but somehow refused to believe it. Dumbledore had a lot other things to do than scolding Fred for Katie Bell’s nosebleed. To his relief, he didn’t feel like being judged. The twins have messed with the teachers plenty of times during these seven years, but never been at the headmaster’s office that often. Fred shrugged bluntly, nibbling on his nails impatiently. He was afraid something might be going on, but if he was exposed, then people won’t leave the twins alone. 

“It is about someone, I’m sorry,” he revealed, feeling stupid as a kid who is in love for the first time. Or maybe he was that kid? The old man took his glasses off, putting them away on the old bureau. 

“I feel you, Fred. Handsome, intelligent man I once was as well and the affection to somebody was the reason I lost it all. There’s nothing to be sorry about,” the elder one sounded trustworthy as if he was performing the legilimency on Fred’s mind. Then, he sat down and looked the older twin in the eyes, “Blaming yourself for what you’ve done and what you haven’t won’t lead you anywhere far from hurting everybody around.” Was Fred that easy to read? This is what he was feeling,  exactly. 

“I decided the best solution is to let them live,” he answered honestly, promising himself not to tell any word more than that. He felt calmed, it meant George was waiting outside. How ridiculous it was he could felt his twin standing on the other side of thick, stone wall. Letting him live and needing his halo to function normally,  _how ridiculous he was?_

“I’ve seen a lot in my life, but I know for sure that George’s support will calm you down eventually,” they smiled at each other. It was just  funny, nobody knew. 

_Then you haven’t seen anything. You haven’t seen anything more sick than I am_. 

He could feel Dumbledore’s eyes on the palm of his hand where  _I won’t be a clown_ was still visible. Couldn’t he just go and _Episkey_ himself? 


	8. Muffliato

They stood behind the heavy, wooden gate. Angelina made the first pair with Potter, then Katie, Alicia and Ron. The twins were the last, holding their bats in their gloved hands. George gulped, shuffling his feet against the ground. The twins have been feeling healthy, but not fit enough to play the best match of their lives. He looked at Fred from the corner of his dark eye; his brother was standing next to him, adjusting the left glove to his big hand. When he was done, he swung on his heels, resting his broom on the ground. The crowd has already been shouting above their heads. George’s scent was calming him down. The same exact one he had scented at Burrow, when his twin was poisoned. Angelina’s perfumes couldn’t hold a candle to cinnamon and soap the Weasley twin has been using. 

And then his heart went wild, when George’s hand grabbed his one; the thick material dividing their skin. He felt sick; excitement was flooding him and the joy of seeing his twin, feeling his touch; overwhelming him. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to control his feelings anymore. All he wanted was to lift George up, kiss him and carry around so that he doesn’t need to tire himself. Was he really that sick wanting George to be happy? Not doing anything without his twin’s permission? _You okay, Georgie?,_ he asked voiceless, taking the chance nobody was looking at them. George nodded, chewing on his lip. Fred faked getting something in his eye to stop drooling over his twin’s lips. He was supposed to watch Alicia’s back, but the older twin was in that very odd shape that screamed  _I need you_ at the younger twin’s silhouette. Then, the gate was opened, as they flew outside the pitch, each of the member flying in their own direction apart from the twins who were flying around the mast, together as one person, whose shadow followed the other. 

“Hello and welcome to the first Hogwarts Quidditch match of the season!” Lee shouted at the top of his lungs. The twins breathed the cold air as if it was their only way to survive the stress. The adrenaline was rushing in their veins, their pale faces turning red.

“Here is the right person in the right place, isn’t he?” Fred joked causing George face to brighten up. The players got on their positions, Fred on the right side of the goal hoops, George on the left along with Alicia Spinnet. 

“Today’s Slytherin...,” he grimaced not caring to hide it,”...versus Gryffindor! Just to remind you, the moment Potter catches the Golden Snitch, we part,” Jordan screamed, as McGonagall was trying to whip the microphone off his hand. The device shrieked loud enough to make the players’ hands cover their ears. “Don’t be so biased or else it would be me who will comment on the match,” the elder woman told him as Blaise Zabini levitated idly next to Fred, making a face at Draco Malfoy. Madame Hooch, who has been already standing in her place and waiting to be announced, opened the trunk with a kick and both of the Bludgers went up.

“...followed by the Golden Snitch!” Lee exclaimed in pure excitement, brushing the dreadlocks off his face. George looked at Fred, who has been smiling at Katie Bell, nudging her arm in anticipation of the game. Yesterday the twins got kicked out the Charms class due to playing cards. 

_ George wished he would play Exploding Snap over Fred’s mind.  _

Finally, Madame Hooch threw the Quaffle in the air. “The Quaffle is released and the game begins!” Lee spoke up, holding his red scarf high. The crowd cheered loudly waggling their scarfs and hats. The tall, dark-skinned boy grabbed the Quaffle and swished in the goal hoops area. Ron gulped, as Zabini’s silhouette was moving in his direction. Blaise was known for his strong throws that could knock the keeper off his broom. To his relief, Angelina managed to to take over the ball. The Bludgers rushed in her direction as did the twins. George barely managed to hit it away. He had a bad feeling about Fred making his best performance. The ball has barely avoided the older twin’s head. The younger one held his breath, feeling his arms go numb. Unconsciously, he sent the other bludger into audience’s direction. Neville Longbottom fell down to his knees to protect his head, causing his hat to fall onto Flitwick’s lap. Madame Hooch blew her whistle, “Weasley!  _Bumphing,_ aren’t you?” she shook her head in disapprobation and it was Fred who shouted  _I’m sorry_.  George couldn’t get his thoughts together and he was just flying in utter confusion, while his twin was doing twice as much. To be honest, nobody was paying attention to him as soon as Angelina grabbed the Quaffle from Adrian with her right hand. 

She went round Draco Malfoy who was chasing the Snitch. Being protected by Fred, she threw it forcefully through the keeper’s hand. The boy took the broom handle to regain the stability and the first goal was scored. Lee’s hand pressed the  _ten points_ button as Angelina waved at the cheering Gryffindors. 

“Angelina Johnson scores! Ten points to Gryffindor! What a player she is and rather attractive too! I’ve been telling her these for years now, but she keeps on turning me down,” Lee was babbling loudly into his microphone and McGonagall was too busy with Gryffindors scoring to scold him. The students went crazy, throwing their hats into the air. Hagrid has even lifted Hermione Granger for her to see better. 

Johnson flew past George to high-five Fred. The younger one felt his heart go numb for a second. He was touching that hand not that long ago. Was Fred not willing to touch him the same anymore? Their last hug was unusually usual and he couldn’t stop thinking about it and imagining it all over again. Why Fred is cheering that much? It burnt his stomach, so he increased his speed to help Alicia Spinnet avoid the Bludger. T he Gryffindors were neck to neck with the Slytherins, who had only 20 points more than the Johnson’s team. It was miracle that nobody has truly been fouled yet. 

_ The Slytherins loved to cheat as much as George liked to cheat on his own heart.  _

Lee was shouting annoyed, as Zabini and Montague were scoring points and Angelina with Alicia couldn’t keep up with them, as it was not Katie Bell’s best day. The twins couldn’t stand Blaise’s face anytime Malfoy’s hand almost touched the Golden Snitch. Harry was doing the best he could, but the air got wet and his Quidditch glasses covered themselves in fog. The Slytherins were shouting loudly, while the Gryffindors were already losing their hoarse voices. It pissed George off to the point where he wanted to throw his bat at them. The white noise filled his thoughts making him idle and almost sleepy. 

Then, there was a crowd in the middle of the pitch, as Slytherins started to foul the opponents to definitely end the game. While he was flying in the direction, his eyes followed his twin’s tall silhouette avoiding Montague’s broom. George had to focus on protecting Katie Bell, but then he saw the chaser in green suit going above the other twin, which made the redhead lean down. And that was when Zabini’s leg went against Fred’s back. On purpose or not, it made George thoughts go black and the world surrounding him stop. He didn’t see, he didn’t hear, only thing he knew was that his twin was hurt, in pain. The horror filled his veins as his mind refused to work any longer. He couldn’t wiggle a toe! He heard Angelina voice shouting _ yes _ and the crowd cheering at the top of the lungs. It meant Potter had caught the Snitch. He didn’t care though, being unable to move and  _help Fred._ It must have been a curse, but who would be interested in them twins? 

It was a second of inner confusion, before Fred coughed up blood, swaying on his broom. He was rocketing at the moment of the kick making it even more dangerous. The blood splashed around, it was enough to make George feel like fainting. Everybody from the Gryffindor team rimmed Potter, giving him high-fives and the twins were unimportant. Lee was screaming into the microphone making the younger twin’s head go dizzy. It lasted seconds, but in George’s head it’s been centuries.

“Fred!” George managed to shriek, as Fred’s body leant over the broom handle; ready to fall down. Could anybody see it at all? Katie rushed to Fred’s side, but Malfoy crossed her way just in time. His twin’s body slipped off the broom and that was when Dumbledore stood up holding his hand out. 

“ _Arresto Momentum!_ ”  his deep, old voice echoed, as George nosedived in the speed of the light. The whole world stopped for a few seconds due to Dumbledore’s charm. George’s body was stuck in the thick air and Fred’s body fell freely, gently landing on the soft, wet sand. It didn’t seem to stop the younger twin’s thoughts, though. The terror in his eyes was unbearable and his heart stung. The older twin was lying on his side, his legs bent; looking innocent enough to make George’s heart skip a beat. It was  _his Freddie. The one who held him in his sleep not once._

It were seconds, before George clutched on twin’s blood stained clothes. He lifted Fred’s head carefully as a droplet of blood flew down the boy’s lips. He gently tried to position his brother in his arms to take him to the Hospital Wing himself, but when twin’s head fell from his arm, he screamed some mostly unrecognizable words until McGonagall and Snape rushed to his side. He cupped his twin’s face as tears were streaming down his pale cheeks. Fred was unconscious and from what he had deducted before, Blaise kicked just in the place where the cuts had been at the time they were at St.Mungo. He didn’t feel the anger, though; the helplessness was killing him slowly followed by remorse. 

Everybody from their team rushed to the twins’ side, but George couldn’t understand a thing that was going on then. His mind had not registered what happened a few moments ago. He kneeled on the sand, as Potter put his gloved hand onto his shoulder and McGonagall took his hands off Fred to take the older twin to the Hospital Wing. The rain started to spit washing the blood away from the soft sand. 

“No, no...let me do it,” George kept on mumbling from above his own tears wiping them away with his bloody hand. The blood was everywhere except his twin’s veins. Ron approached, looking pale and faintly. George’s face was dirty and his thoughts kept on saying,  _ It did not happen, it did not happen._

“Don’t be ridiculous, Mr. Weasley,” Snape said coldly as if he was glad Fred was hurt. Ginny chewed on her lip, as Angelina was trying to calm her down; her own eyes tearing. She knew about the twins’ accident during the Apparition Exam. The team followed McGonagall rushing with Fred Weasley on the crouches. George couldn’t move, his thoughts blank as a page now.

“He will be fine, George,” Katie Bell said hugging his arm. There was the younger twin; sitting on the wet sand in his twin’s blood and gasping for air between his sobs. Fred’s cheek seemed so cold and poor. He didn’t even care about him being in the centre of attention as the Slytherins came around to check the blood stains and Draco spotted the younger twin sitting in the middle of the pitch. 

“ _ Freddie was born in a bin  _

_ Ron, he always lets the Quaffle in _

_ George will make sure we win  _

_Weasleys are our Kings,_ ”  the blonde sang mockingly in his high tones. Blaise snorted showing his white teeth. George did not even moved. Katie looked furious, but the younger twin wouldn’t even exhale. Born in a bin? The person George wished to be alike the most the could? _How dared he even?_

_ “Apologize to him,” said Fred strictly, when Marcus Flint’s arm shoved George aside making him fall. The twins were coming back from Hogsmeade, when Marcus Fucking Flint and his gang came across them. The younger twin quickly stood up brushing the dust away from his jumper. He had felt the sugar quills inside his pocket crushing themselves. Ron as the unfledged first-year man he was, clutched on the fabric of George’s jeans. Fred’s gaze was throwing lightenings at Marcus and his classmates. Draco Malfoy was eating an ice cream he had bought at Hogsmeade, but when the Weasley twin spoke, he was stuck with the plastic spoon in his mouth. The oldest male raised his brow looking at three years younger redhead in front of himself. Fifteen year old was already taller than Flint at the edge of eighteen.  _

_ How dared he treat George that way?  _

_ “We dead, Fred,” Ron whispered shakily into George’s jumper. The younger twin patted on the initials G.W. on the jumper’s waistband. _

_ “It’s alright, Fred. Let’s go,” he said putting his hand onto his twin’s shoulder. The older twin jolted, freeing his arm from brother’s touch. No, it isn’t. Marcus snorted and turned to his left to face Malfoy, whose ice cream started dripping from his hand.  _

_ “Who are you to tell me what to do?” Flint asked ironically making the other Slytherins laugh. Everybody knew that the Weasleys wore the same jumpers every year and the twins used only one book set. As if anybody else would care.  _

_ “I don’t need to be anybody,” Fred said, confident as ever, his back straight and his head high. George looked up to him feeling Ron’s fingers digging into his forearm. The younger twin spotted Fred’s hand reaching the wand in his jeans pocket on his buttock. He wiggled his wrist slightly and a small yellow sparkle appeared right before Fred’s younger siblings. George was afraid his twin would make it even worse, but let the male do what he wanted.  _

_ Out of sudden, the spoonful of ice cream, which Malfoy was just about to put inside his pink mouth turned into a huge slug. The slimy being moved its antennae towards the wispy blonde as the substance was covering the Slytherin’s hand. George opened his mouth, as Draco screamed, then threw both the ice cream and the snail into the air, causing the bowl to land on Marcus’ hair. The butterscotch cream was in his hair and going down his face and neck. Fred bit his lip not to burst out. The oldest of them boys sighed loudly making Ron hide behind George’s back. With a quick move of his sticky hand, he removed the fudgy sweetness covering his fair eyes. Some of the ice cream got onto Fred’s worn out jumper, but who would care now?  _

_ “What the hell are you doing, Malfoy?” he asked, pissed off, glaring at the younger male. Draco only looked at him, mouth wide open, stepping backwards. The loud steps could be heard. Percy appeared from around the corner. You’re done, George thought gladly.  _

_ “What is going on there? Flint, are you bulling  younger students again? Look at your clothes, you made a mess and George’s clothes are dirty,” the slender boy said, adjusting the Head Boy badge on his chest. The twins looked at each other in unison, Fred eyebrows wiggling. _

_ “Forty points from Slytherin and I’m going to report to professor Dumbledore,” Percy announced bossing around. The Slytherins glared at Marcus, clutching their heads. A hint of the smile showed on Fred’s face.  _

_ “Apologize to George and Draco,” the older Weasley added, making Ron giggle from behind George. Fred felt triumph creeping to his chest. Percy accidentally mistook the twins, but it meant Fling apologizing to George. He looked back at his twin who looked relieved.  _

_ “I beg your pardon,” hissed Marcus clenching his big teeth. The red Weasley ended him in a very embarrassing way and if he wasn’t a Head Boy and if Flint hadn’t been already repeating the last year, he would beat the shit out of him _

_ The twins left Ron to be walked to the dormitory by Percy and made their way to the bathroom. George’s hand brushed his twin’s one, as they walked together down the wide corridor. Fred took his brother’s hand inside his one. It felt warm as pumpkin pie and safe. The butterflies inside his stomach took off to fly around. The younger twin was feeling as if flying above the ground.  _

_ “You didn’t have to make him apologize. What if he whooped our asses?” George noticed chewing on his lip. Fred snorted, dimples showing on his cheeks. The day was declining and the slight breeze tingled the twins’ skin. The younger twin felt the chunks of the sugar quills he had bought crumbling inside his pocket.  _

_ “Don’t you break a feather, Georgie. You’d do the same.” _

“Fucking leave me alone, you lousy weasel!” Malfoy cried, as George jumped to his neck, making them both fall down; the redhead sitting on top, his fists hitting the blonde’s face. Nobody managed to register George’s attack in their mind, as it was faster than the Golden Snitch. He fists storming their way to the Slytherin’s chest, not sure whether to strangle him or beat the shit out of him. The smaller blonde tried to push him away, but the younger twin positioned himself even steadier, as he felt nauseous and remorse hitting him. He did not manage to protect Fred and the fucker here makes fun of them. He sensed Malfoy fists hitting his back, but didn’t feel a thing. The adrenaline rush caused him to forget about the world and focus on making the Slytherin suffer. He was stronger and taller leaving the other boy no choice, but allow the redhead to attack him.

Blood spurted from Draco’s nose at the moment Zabini made it to them to tear George away from him. The twin didn’t care, as his hands were hitting anything on their way causing Blaise to got pounded right in his nose. Snape gulped in unexpectedness and the last players on the pitch noticed it and ran quickly to drag them apart. George heard his heart pounding inside his chest. He stopped sobbing, but single tears were falling on Malfoy’s cashmere jumper underneath his suit. 

Zabini attacked him again and that time he managed to push George away from Draco. The blonde coughed heavily and the  _pure _ blood was going down his chin. The twin looked at him as if he could kill him with his gaze. Katie Bell being the first to reach the twin, hugged his back, entwining her arms around his chest. Her breath felt warm on George’s skin. The Weasley began to struggle with her, trying to get out her embrace and be done with Malfoy. She didn’t let him, though. 

_ “You’d do the same.” _

Blaise held his nose as if it was just about to fall off, his dark forehead all wrinkled. Draco Malfoy was sitting on the sand, his cashmere jumper stretched out alike with the Weasleys’ knitted ones. He was choking on his own breath, bad to the bone.

“My father will hear about this!” he shrieked angrily, when Snape’s arm pulled George up violently. George was still covered in Fred’s blood, but he stood up making his wobbly legs move. Katie Bell was pushed aside, as she bit her lip. Snape blurted something unrecognizable, taking the points from Gryffindor and dragging the twin straight to the castle. The twin felt high and couldn’t think about anything else than killing all the Slytherins surrounding him. 

He didn’t even notice, when he and Snape made it to the Great Hall. Filch was on the ladder, hammering the nail to hang another Educational Decree on the empty space. The frame was ready, rested against the wooden ladder. The old caretaker murmured something under his nose, while biting his hurt finger. Severus released George hissing, “Don’t you dare moving before I come back.” The Weasley nodded absentmindedly, regaining his senses. 

**_ Educational Decree Number Thirty  _ **

_ All Weasley products will be banned immediately. _

Another jolt of anger went through his body. Not only couldn’t the twins be left alone by the pink bitch, but their hard work was being thrown into a bin like a useless garbage. They’ve been spending all their free time working on the products, which were bringing them joy. The twins were simple and the only things they needed were each other and their jokes. Was it too much? The hours of work and experiments would go waste as well as George’s studying will. 

He felt like a wild animal wanting to run away from here, take Fred along and let the twins not be caged anymore. Wish they lived on their own, in their own flat. Liberty was calling George savagely almost as loud as his twin’s body. But what would people say? About them two being together all the time? George gritted his teeth clenching his fists. What was wrong about the twins hugging each other and sleeping in the same bed? They have been doing it for fucking years. They have been living for fun and there wasn’t enough space for  _ the feeling business. He never wanted cashmere jumpers and a golden Christmas tree. All he ever wanted was Fred himself. _

***

_ “Mum, can I open it now?” Ginny asked impatiently from downstairs. Molly answered her some kind of negation back, fighting with the gingerbread cake; the old radio jamming her voice. The stairs squeaked resisting Ron’s shoes’ weight.  _

_ Fred placed the firework in the box, careful not to touch any of the colorful stripes, while George was casting a spell to cut the ribbon and tie it around Ginny’s gift. The room was smelling oranges and sugar, the twins haven’t forgotten about the representative part of their present.  _

_ “Do you think mum would kill us if it blowed up in her face?” George asked playfully, closing the gift’s lid slowly. Fred chuckled wiping his hands against his pyjama pants. The atmosphere was lovely, as the twins loved Christmas. It meant a whole bunch of opportunities to trick each member of their family. Even if they would do something truly hideous, nobody would pay attention for long.  _

_ “No, I think she would disinherit us first,” the twins laughed out loud followed by small explosion, as Fred’s foot stood on the charmed powder. They heard a book being thrown onto a bureau in the room next door and then Percy was pounding their door, “Will you be quiet?”. _

_ “Oh, shut up, Weatherby,” Fred answered him, causing George to cross his legs not to pee his pants. Percy huffed and walked away and the twins giggled as two little girls. The older twin grabbed another orange chocolate from the package Angelina’s sent him for Christmas. George was laughing as loud as Fred, but the older one knew something was on. Especially when he had barely looked at the pink gift box he received, George seemed nervous.  _

_ “Twins! Come here!” Molly shouted trying to jam the old radio playing loud Christmas oldies. The twins briefly looked at each other, then picked up the gifts and rushed downstairs.  _

_ The 25th of December meant fun and jokes being accepted by almost everybody but mum. One of a few days of the year the twins were truly in their element. The living room smelled ginger and cocoa. Molly was making the table with Charlie and Bill was lighting the candles on the tree with his wand. Arthur was sitting next to the radio, swinging to some muggle Christmas song; ignoring chastely Percy’s logorrhea. Ron and Ginny were trying to guess the presents from the shapes of the packages. The twins stormed into the room, their feet banging loudly against the long-serving floor. They went straight up to the tree, falling to their knees next to their younger siblings.  _

_ Fred’s hand touched George’s one, when they were putting their gifts underneath the Christmas tree. The younger one felt shiver go down his spine and he acted immediately; he quickly backed his hand. It seemed to stress the younger twin not to keep the distance with Fred when everybody was around. He could smell his younger twin’s sweet breath, as he unconsciously leaned closer to him.  Most of them was finally sitting in their usual places except for Percy, who would sit next to Charlie, leaving no space for the younger twin. George frowned, but it didn’t matter. It was the Christmas Day. _

_ “I’ve had enough of seeing you being careless about your reputation. I’m done with it. If you two continue to run after Dumbledore, then do not keep on calling me you son,” Percy blurted out angrily causing Bill to drop his fork. Molly’s face grimaced, but Arthur pretended not to hear his son. George’s eyes opened themselves, as Fred stood up sharply. The older twin clenched his jaw and his hands rolled into fists. Everybody seemed to pretend it was just wind in their ears, the fireplace was cracking loudly.  _

_ “Who are you to talk like that to mum and dad?” Fred asked fiercely, not even turning around to face his older brother. Ron gulped as Ginny put a pink gift box with her name on her lap, he smelled some unusual scent.  _

_ “No, who are you? You are just a stupid brat, too dumb to even be a prefect,” Percy queened it over the older twin, followed by George’s angry grimace. The atmosphere became dense as everybody was piercing their eyes through the two of them. The Weasley family knew the twins never wanted one of them to be prefect. Somehow the idea of being different frightened them, as only one of them could be the Head Boy at once. _

_ “Well, I don’t think we can can handle the disgrace of another prefect in this house,” Fred defended himself through his teeth, gesturing Ron to stay away from the gift for Percy. Did his older brother always need to kill all the fun? This was one of the reasons why Fred hated prefect things.  _

_ “What will you do in future then? Uh-huh, I can already see you going to Ministry on your knees,” the boy said proudly, holding his head high. He then snorted, digging into his pie. Fred turned around to approach the table. George tried to grab his hand to stop him from doing something regrettable, but he failed.  _

_ “Fred! Be quiet and help mum with the dishes,” Arthur ordered his son handing a plate to Molly. The man clenched his jaw, but didn’t want to ruin his children’s Christmas.  _

_ “I think Fudge will know your name soon. Like in ten years, Weatherby” the younger twin smirked snidely, stepping next to the Fred’s warmth on the left. Molly shrieked, “That’s enough, boys!”. The twins didn’t like fighting, but somehow standing by each other side was the most important stuff ever.  _

_ “No, he is actually right, Perce,” Charlie quickly chimed in ignoring his mother, “Fudge is leading you by the nose.” Percy shook his head disbelievingly. Fred found it funny that his older brother thought everybody was jealous of his remarkable job.  _

_ “You’re no better than him, Charles. You toy with some dragons allowing people to gossip about you. At least you do something useful,” he added, chewing on the crust. The whole situation was just ridiculous. Bill covered his lips not to smile, but Mrs. Weasley pointed them with her spoon, “If the two of you won’t stop, then I...”.  _

_ “Maybe your toys were funny, when you were ten. Now, grow up, Frederick. This is real life, not some firework; it can blow up in your face.”  _

_ “Perce, honey, pride comes before a fall,” Fredretorted, sick of all the things his older brother has said so far. Nobody was allowed to call him Frederick but his twin. “Our toys,” George thought, then abruptly took the closest chair. They were a pair, why people kept on forgetting this?  _

_ “At least I can make some people laugh instead of cry,” Fred looked at his mother with clenched teeth, then he sat down next to Ron. Percy rested his pointy chin against his hand, he looked at the older twin ironically. The room became stuffy and for a second Fred regretted that discussion. Percy was laughing in his face and he couldn’t stand it.  _

_ “If your work is more important than us, then go and have a tea with your beloved boss,” Fred said making Molly gasp with her hand over her mouth. Arthur hit the table with his fist, but nobody paid closer attention. Everybody watched Percy’s surprised to angry reaction. Even Ginny came closer to hug Bill.  _

_ “I’ve already packed my things. I just came to wish you a Merry Christmas,” Percy took out his wand to summon his trunk. It came down the stairs, ruffling the washed-out carpet. Unlike the twins’ ones, it was clean and brand new. Molly opened her mouth watching her children quarreling, as Arthur put his hand on her shoulder.  _

_ “Thanks for ruining Christmas, Percy. You have no equal,” George said bitterly, feeling disappointed his older brother was not going to open his gift. It would be just banging for him to see it.  _

_ “Stop acting like one of the dumb plastic muggle dolls dad once has bought Ginny,”Percy freed himself from Molly’s hands dragging his trunk with him. The suitcase screeched against the long-serving floor in the rhythm of Christmas carols. Arthur sent his wife one of the “He will be back tomorrow” look. It didn’t seem to comfort her, though.  _

_ “Barbie does Barbie things, Percy,” Fred commented cheekily, putting some chocolate cake onto his plate, “Barbie’s got dream-house, Barbie shop and...” _

_ “...a lovely face. Yeah, Freddie, that ain’t you.” George giggled briefly before the main door shut behind Percy. Fred frowned, the joke somehow was unpleasant. The room was quiet as a funeral reception. Everybody’s eyes on their dirty plates. Molly’s eyes started watering slightly, Fred and Charlie angry as never. Arthur cleared his throat as fast as he could not to draw others’ attention. They could not count how many times Bill or Charlie would run from home, but Perce?  _

_ An explosion tore the living room’s silence and every redhead turned to the Christmas tree where Ginny was sitting, her hair all dirty and clumpy. Ash covered her face and she looked like she was just about to burst out into a cry, her lip was trembling. The remnants of the pink bow were everywhere and all the fireworks went up onto the tree. A white tinsel exploded in the air and its pieces were falling from the ceiling onto Ginny’s dirty head and other gifts as a December’s snow.  _

_ “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...” the Weasleys’ old radio shrieked happily. _

A whole bunch of faces above him looking at him closely, dizzied along with his head. They were blurred, so that he only saw the colors. When he spotted the bright red hair, his heart immediately started pounding aggressively and he hoped nobody would notice. He blinked and the faces became a little more clear; it was Ron whose hair he had mistaken with George’s ones. _Shame on him,_ his twin’s hair were more golden like. 

“Is he awake? Ayo, Fred? You with us?” Angelina asked, fanning the boy with a piece of newspaper Madame Pomfrey has provided. Jordan was sitting on the chair, his legs flicked on the nearby nightstand. Johnson gestured him to take them down, but he did only sent her a kiss, she blushed. The older twin blinked a few times, putting his hand onto his forehead. 

There came the realization out of nowhere. The feeling haunting Fred for a while now, the awareness that George is never going to feel the same about him and they’re engaged in being the Order’s chequers. Everybody was thinking the twins are ready to sacrifice for Potter’s sake. As hell any of the twins was going to leave the other behind to be a hero. Couldn’t they just leave them alone? 

“And where the hell he ought to be? In the shower?” Lee murmured under his nose not even trying to release the tension as usual. Angelina began to scold him, but for a short while the older twin lost his consciousness again. He did not know if it has been a minute or an hour when he woke up once more. 

Fred was aware of every Lee’s glance at Johnson as well as every complaint of the person on the opposite bed. There were at least five people around him. He felt sleepy as if he hasn’t been sleeping for at least week. It wasn’t that untrue considering he dreamed of George every night in the week. Because of some unknown reason, his left side was all numb and he couldn’t really remember what happened or why everybody was there. 

“Where is George?” Katie asked worriedly, as Fred’s heart skipped a beat. He suddenly got an adrenaline rush, was feeling ready to stand up and defend his twin.  What happened?  He slowly regained his senses; his nose was hidden under the white sheets. They smelled unfamiliar and there wasn’t  _George’s sweet smell_ in them at all. He tried to say something, but his throat suddenly got blocked. Why did Katie asked about the younger twin as Fred was the one sick apparently?  _You can all go away, where is George?_

“He should’ve already returned from Dumbledore’s,” Potter answered himself, but Fred didn’t understand a word he was saying. His mind somehow resisted doing any work. He probably was not hurt as not laid in theWing. The older one felt as a small child left alone in a store by its mother. 

“Where is he?” his amber eyes opened themselves once more to the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He coughed and Angelina quickly gave him a pan to vomit if he wanted to.  _He who?,_ Ron’s expression seemed to ask, but it was obvious to the point nobody wouldn’t even bother to say it. 

“Bro, you’ve been hurt badly, when the game was on by some gits...,” he turned his deadly gaze to the opposite bed where to Fred’s surprise Malfoy was lying and Zabini sat on the chair next to him, “...and he defended you. Pretty effectively.”

“Defended him? Defended him! That reckless weasel attacked me!” Malfoy cried, as Fred used all his force to sit up only to be pressed back to the mattress by Angelina’s hand. Jordan tensed, but didn’t say anything, he’s had enough. Malfoy visibly tried to hide himselfbehind Blaise’s back; knowing the older twin would strangle him at once, unlike George. 

“My father will hear about this! I’ve got an avulsed tooth!” the blonde kept on shrieking with a cotton pad in his mouth; Fred’s head was pulsing with rage. _Nobody talks about George like that. If it was Fred, then Malfoy would be toothless by now_.  He tried to stand up once more, but they all held him down. 

Then, the Hospital Wing’s door opened with a crack and George was there, his jumper bloody and his puppy eyes shining worriedly. Snape shut the door violently behind the twin and the boy stood there, either ready to burst out or to end Malfoy.  _I’m here_ ,  the older twin’s eyes were saying dearly with thrills all over his body. Fred was watching every motion of his fifteen minutes younger brother, as he was marching towards them. He has lost so much weight the twins were almost different. To Fred’s terror, his hand was wrapped in some amateur bandage. 

“Fred, how are you feeling?” he asked, throwing himself into his twin’s arms as Fred’s eyes filled themselves with tears of joy. They were back together. George kneeled on the floor, careful not to press his twin into the mattress. They embraced each other as if it was the only way to survive. Suddenly, the other team members felt unnecessary. 

“The charms class starts in five minutes,” Harry said embarrassed somehow and Ron frowned. “What are you talking about? It’s Friday,” but the Chosen One grabbed his arm and proceeded to drag him out. Jordan walked out with Angelina and Katie; Bell looked at George over her shoulder, Fred saw it. If the situation couldn’t get any worse, he had a feeling about Katie liking his twin. 

The twins grabbed each other slender hands, enjoying the other’s familiar warmth.  _I was so worried,_ George’s heartbeat said and Fred’s one returned it. The younger twin smelled sweat and metallic, but a hint of cinnamon could be sensed as usual. Fred’s mind went blank as so much has happened recently.

He could feel the beast in his heart yearning for George. He was severely afraid he won’t make it stay in its place for long anymore. Whenever they would touch, he was feeling hot and needy. Whenever he called the older twin’s name, Fred was ready to attack. He needed to try jamming his inner animal with stress and creativity at work, but it simply wasn’t enough. 

Now the Katie Bell things; it was clear he was not having any chance with pretty and fit girl who was liking George. 

Fred grunted in pain as he has become aware of every single one of his nerves. George quickly stood up, his knuckles hurting from beating Malfoy. He quickly scanned the room for Madame Pomfrey, but couldn’t spot her anywhere. He slightly panicked, but let the feeling go down his throat as he swallowed to calm himself. He was still holding brother’s hand and was not even thinking about letting him go for even a second. Fred focused on the bandages covering his twin’s hand.

“Madame?” he called hesitantly accompanied with Malfoy panting and complaining about the pudding being cold. In the blink of an eye she was there, already holding a vial filled with pink liquid. She handed it to the younger twin, when Fred gritted his teeth. He was glad to be the hurt one, though. He didn’t even want to think about George laying there instead of him. As long as he was alive he was protecting his twin. 

“Make sure Fred drinks a half the vial,” she instructed them and quickly approached Malfoy moaning loudly about his nose, “You can go back, Blaise,” she said smiling timidly at the dark skinned boy. 

“He isn’t going anywhere,” Malfoy bossed holding Zabini’s jumper forcefully in place, “I’m not going to stay here alone with these mad idiots.” George almost growled losing his temper. His twin was the one hurt, Draco was the one he want hurt. Madame Pomfrey nodded and went for the _ Skele-Gro _ to help with Malfoy’s tooth. 

The younger twin stood up causing Draco to jump up in his bed and separated the twins away from the rest of the world with the cubicle curtain.  _Give me your wand_ ,  he communicated with Fred through his thoughts. The older twin put the vial away on the table and took his wand out of the cabinet. He handed it to George confused,  _Don’t do anything dumb._ The younger twin murmured quiet  Muffliato  and wave the thing to cast the spell. It worked when a barely audible white noise appeared. They didn’t have any idea why, but the twins could use each other’s wands successfully. No one else could perform it, so the boys enjoyed their bond even more. 

„What happened exactly, Georgie? What’s with your hand?” Fred asked curiously, straightening his back to prevent it from hurting. 

“You got kicked in the back by Zabini, fainted. I was afraid you’d break your neck, but Dumbledore casted  _Arresto Momentum_ preventing you from bonus injuries...,” his voice got anxious a little, but he keep on talking, “I have two news for you,” George said comically seriously as if he switched bodies with Percy. Fred’s pale face brightened up as he reached his hand to cup his twin’s face. 

“The bad one first, please.” George smiled at him knowing the potion started working and the pain was killed. He sat on the bed’s edge feeling butterflies in his stomach fly freely with a touch of Fred’s hand. 

“We’re dismissed from the Quidditch team forever,” he blurted out fast watching his twin’s reaction closely. Fred’s eyes seemed to become watery, but he didn’t say anything. The twins had numerous happy memories about the Quidditch. Was it going to end? 

He gestured the bed shape behind the curtain with raised eyebrows. George nodded chewing on his lip. 

“After you’ve fallen, Malfoy started to show off, he called our family names and I remembered all the times you had defended me before. I wanted to repay you and...” he let his eyes bore themselves into his shoes. Fred chuckled hoarsely and somehow George found that attractive. 

_ I could die to make myself thankful for your effort.  _

“Georgie, you didn’t have to do anything. I’ve been defending you all those times cause I love you,” Fred’s voice started to tremble, when these ocean eyes started to pierce him into the mattress. He wanted to drown in them and nudge his face against George’s, he wanted to  _breathe in George._

“ Me too, Freddie, as much as Charlie loves dragons,” he flirted jokingly, making Fred chuckle again. “It was the most romantic thing anyone has ever told me. Well, maybe sending Percy that dragon muck together was even more sensual.” George chuckled causing his twin to feel his mimics with the hand still on his cheek. 

“And what about the good one?” he asked excitedly taking his hand back from his twin’s cheek. He didn’t see it, but George frowned for a second.

“There is no way we will be able to work at Ministry ever,” he announced and they both gasped fondly. Molly will be furious and probably would attack them with a pan, but it was worth it. They proved her wrong and didn’t have to worry about spending their time in the dull place. Their future wasn’t that important as they had each other and now it was the point of them living. 

“ _Umbitch_ wanted to give me  _Veritaserum,_ but Snape insisted and she agreed to treat me with her quill,” George said, showing the bandages on his hand, “Guess they’re sort of painting Snape to be the bad guy.” Fred nodded and asked him about the pain. George knew drinking the potion would make him tell all the things he ever kept for himself. Even his feeling ones. It was terrifying to assume Snape has helped him. It meant the bad wasn’t the worst. 

They joked for a while before George asked quite seriously, “But what are we going to do now, Freddie?” Fred took the twin’s hand inside his one and the younger’s body immediately relaxed itself. The older twin made his best to shuffle to one side of the bed before confused George would even blink. He gestured him to lie down next to him. He did so, careful as ever not to hurt Fred. His brother covered them both in white sheets and they simply felt  happy.  It didn’t matter it wasn’t their room at Burrow. So what they were a nerve wrecks before a few moments. 

Fred snuggled to George’s warm chest as his body cried for  comfort.  His face was being lifted by twin’s chest and it felt truly wonderful. The older twin was glad the  _Healing Potion_ made his body weak, dimming its reaction. He will want to die straight away if his abdomen area would get excited by his twin’s touch. 

“Remember last Christmas when Percy started his life performance?” 

George nodded, inhaling Fred’s hair. The soft locks were tickling his nose and he has never felt better. “I do.”

“ _Let’s make something of our own_ ,”  Fred has said and the younger twin’s memory went back to the moment they went drinking. His heart started beating a lot faster and even if he held his breath, he was still sure his twin could feel it. 

“We’re to young for children, you know, mate.” _Yeah,_ Fred nodded feeling his heart silently hurt. They’ll never going to be able to live normally as everyone would like them two. To live  apart.  To call each other sometimes. To fall asleep separately. 

“Why don't we dig into something we’re the best at,” Fred suggested mumbling it into George’s sweated jumper, “A shop full-filled with our products where everybody can have fun they deserve.” The both twins opened their eyes excited as ever. They brought each other even closer, breathing in the other’s dust. 

“Do you think we’ll make enough for living?” George asked euphoric and put his big hand onto brother’s shoulder, while Fred was throwing his arm over the younger’s belly. 

“Myself, I’d spend a fortune to send the pink bitch back to the loony bin,” They laughed sincerely until Fred’s back started hurting. 

“Where do you want our shop to happen?” George asked, his hand going through twin’s silky hair. Fred purred jokingly, but wondered for a bit. The outside seemed to become dark and Zabini’s muffled voice argued with Draco about something. 

“Lee says Zonko is closing. Maybe we could take his place. He has an apartment above the shop.” George’s heart skipped a beat, as he imagined waking up next to Fred everyday. 

He brushed the sweaty fringe away from his twin’s face. 

“Not that we care, but what would people say?” he was almost dying to get an answer. Fred moved up slightly, watching George’s face with a witty smile on his face. He wanted to sit up, but his weak body made him continue to lie down on his twin’s warm chest. 

“Do they even matter? I don’t care about them, I care about you and you only,” Fred insured him, cupping his face again. It was getting suspicious, but his body  was so hungry for George  he couldn’t fight it. 

“I don’t think Zonko is going to give the shop to us for free, mate,” George quickly change the topic, playing with his hand. Fred frowned, making his forehead go wrinkly. 

“We haven’t really touched the money Potter gave us. We can make some more and it’d be enough I believe.” 

***

George Weasley was rushing to the Hospital Wing on Sunday’s evening, holding his hand on his schoolbag. His long legs made their way through corridors filled with dozens of freshmen as the numerous items he had just bought kept on rattling inside the sack. He bought a big amount of supplies for their experiments. If they wanna open up a business, then they ought to do as much as they could. He also got some of Fred’s favorite sweets to make him feel better about spending the weekend at the Hospital Wing. The education was off the radar now. He spotted Granger walking towards him, waving. 

“Hi, George. How are you doing?” Hermione asked politely, adjusting the books in her arms in a nervous manner; she seemed stressed. He returned the affable smile and look down at her windblown fringe. Her hair seemed more tangled than usual. 

“Fine. Going to see Freddie,” he quickly answered instantly scolding himself for saying _ Freddie _ out loud in public. It seemed so lame then, the twins were grown-ups after all. She didn’t seem to pay closer attention to it, adjusting her  _Head Girl_ badge. Hermione looked to the left, suddenly more nervous than before, tugging her curly hair behind her ear. 

“I owled your mom,” she confessed quickly, looking at his chest, while biting her lip. George’s eyes opened themselves, but he refused to register it in his mind. His pulse went crazy as well as his heart. He looked at her angrily, shaking his head disbelievingly.

“You did what? About what?” he used his hand to massage the bridge of his nose. No matter how much she had said, it’ll harm the twin without a doubt. Fred will be having serious problems as long as they live at Burrow.  _What else was going to get ruined?_

“About Fred’s problems and his visits at the Hospital Wing,” she said truthfully, giving the younger twin fits. What did she knew about Fred and his problems? Even George didn’t know about every single one of them and  _who was she to interfere?_ Did she know about all the things they’ve been through? Her and her black and white rules pissed him off to the core. 

_ What she knew about being afraid to gain weight and not look the same as Fred anymore?  _

“ Did she owl you back?” he asked annoyed, rolling his eyes, when she wasn’t looking. It wasn’t the right moment to be nosy about the twins’ stuff if they wanted to start their business. If it was going to become a new family tradition, he wanted to ruin this Christmas himself with Fred. If they did it together, it wouldn’t matter. 

She shook her head.  _Merlin_ , it meant two things. Either Molly hasn’t read the letter yet or she was going to Hogwarts  herself. If that happened, the twins were so screwed. She would put iron bars in their windows and lock them forever. 

“I’m in a rush,” he brassed her off squeezing through crowds, which were going to see another decree. He wondered what was going to be banned next. Breathing? Eating? Smiling?He turned his head to glance up at the wall already full of the  _Dead On Arrival Decrees_ _._

**_ Educational Decree Number Nine _ **

_ Any student found in possession of sweets from unauthorised suppliers will be expelled. _

Oh, sweet. Not only Molly was informed about their business, but the bitch is trying to get the twins expelled from Hogwarts. Making it even more difficult, they’re forbidden from working at Ministry for million years. The idea of running away from all this mess with Fred has suddenly become pretty enthusiastic. If they were expelled from their cages then they were gonna be wild animals. Unless Molly Weasley appears with the cages to catch them again. 

George rolled his eyes again and walked straight to the Hospital Wing. His hand burned and he was feeling a pressure on his chest. They were so screwed up it was almost funny. 

When entering the Wing, he spotted an adult male standing next to the door. He gulped imagining Molly Weasley clenching her fist on her purse and screaming at the top of her lungs. It won’t be a surprise if Umbridge will prohibit parents’ visits after the incident. 

He definitely wasn’t ready for the things he saw next. If his nightmares could walk, they would have long dark hair, pretty face and be named Angelina Johnson. 

She was leaning towards Fred, whispering some things, while the older twin was lying idly not pushing her away or trying to stop her. He just focused his gaze on her hair allowing to do whatever she liked. Her plump lips curled, as she kissed Fred gently, cupping his face just as he was cupping George’s cheek two days ago. The younger twin felt his heart silently break and he felt numb to the point where he dropped his bag to the floor drawing the other people’s attention. He absentmindedly brought his hand to his lips imagining Fred’s ones on him. His knees went wobbly and he wanted to curse all the people inside the room. Despite his older twin ensuring him there was nothing going on between them...

They all were right, the twins were eventually gonna find girlfriends and get their things right. There was no room left for their joke business. What did he even think? Malfoy grimaced at him confused from above his book, while Angelina quickly backed, breaking the kiss. Before George would even see Fred’s reaction, he walked out the the Hospital Wing praising Merlin not to let anybody see the tears forming in his big, amber eyes. After all the years and moments spent on producing their jokes they were only play dates? Why did it hurt that much? He should be happy with Fred being in love with Angelina, but he knew she ain’t gonna give him what he needed. He was such a fool to think she’s going to give up on him, _so lame_. Have they been together for long? Were they trying to hide it or was George just an idiot? He felt his heart beating as if it was bleeding out. He felt cheated on somehow, he didn't know why. 

_ She was not going to let him play outside his cage and the most terrifying was the fact George did not want to leave this play date.  _


	9. Occlumency

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapter being late, take care of you guys!

Fred blinked seeing Angelina’s face in front of his one. His whole body screamed  Go away,  but he was still focused on what she had said before, _“_ _Katie seems to have a crush on George. She told me she will confess to him before Christmas.”_ Fred wasn’t surprised at all. His twin was such a wonderful person no wonder people were interested in him. His heart pricked, when he remembered that two years older Gryffindor girl who was in love with George for two years. A stone was taken off Fred’s chest the day she graduated from Hogwarts. He didn’t know back then why was he so anxious about her. Maybe he was a selfish brat, but was it that wrong he didn’t want to grow up and let George go? Angelina’s hair brushed his chest, but it wasn’t that silky as the other twin’s. George liked to wash his hair to relax unlike Fred whose hair screamed for some moisturize. He didn’t like to look at his own naked body. It reminded him of George’s one, so better looking than him. 

He was slowly beginning to understand their childhood has come to an end and the twins have to jump into the adult life. Fred had no idea how to let George go now, when he was in love with the younger one. It’s become even more difficult. He had been so dumb, he was underestimating the time they used to spend together. He wanted the other to be happy, but he simply couldn’t forget about himself. Maybe it would be better for both of them to just be apart? A twin shouldn’t be thinking about kissing the other one. There were small pecks they would exchange, when they were younger, but they weren’t children anymore. Maybe it’ll be the best if George had Katie and Fred would end up with Angelina so that they both would finally be complete. 

And he let Johnson kiss him just to imagine it was George’s sweet breath on his cheeks. He didn’t care for Malfoy gaping at them, why would he care? She tasted sweet and Fred could only imagine that George’s lips would have that tangy cinnamon flavor to them. 

The older twin was aware it was exactly what he did really wanted. The sweetness of pumpkin pastries and the tang of cinnamon, the one would stay on his teeth and warm him up. The one would remind him of the Christmas evenings spent on doing everything and nothing, pulling pranks and talking rubbish. He felt Angelina smiling during the kiss, rubbing her lipstick-coated lips against his ones. It hurt to kiss her, it hurt more not to imagine kissing George. 

_ Fred did not need sugar to make his living sweet.  _

Then, he heard something hitting against the stone floor and Angelina moved away rapidly. George was standing there, looking hurt as hell, hand over his mouth, chewing on his fingers. Fred had seen it only once, when dad beat him up. The younger twin narrowed his big eyes and turned on his heels just before storming out, shutting the door loudly. Fred noticed Malfoy closing his book as he reached his blonde hair with his hand to brush through it.  _I don’t give a shit about your low-born stuff_ ,  his face was saying. It was wrong to let Angelina kiss Fred. It was wrong to imagine it had been George here. Fred couldn’t restrain himself, though. 

“What are you doing?” Fred asked through his teeth, clenching his fist on the sheets. Her dark eyes went round, when she looked at him confused picking cuticles on her hands. Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheek as Johnson bit her lip. 

“I thought you wanted it. The Yule Ball things you said were quite deep and...” she started frowning a bit, focused on his wrinkled forehead.  _Come on,_ Fred’s thought squinting his eyes. Those things were not meant for her. What else could he do to satisfy his needs? It sounded animalistic, but maybe it was what Fred’s become. Nature is cruel and every tiger cub eventually becomes a hunter. The older twin was afraid he would hurt George one day, but pushing him away seemed to have an opposite effect on him.  _He has said deep things?_ He was sure he hadn’t told he loved her. 

“ _Look like I’m swimming to the rim_ ,” he replied tossing his sheets to the side. He had things to do, he needed to find his twin and...

_ Barbie does Barbie things, Percy. _

Everyone reckons Barbie’s dumb. He felt like one, nobody treating him seriously. He loved George. He loved George the same way dad loved mum and the same way Ginny loved Harry. Why was it such a sin? Fred sat up, ignoring Angelina’s soft hands pressing him back against the mattress. If Katie and Angelina were muggle dolls, he would tie them to fireworks and send them far away where they belonged. Not only George would be feeling left back, but Lee will be upset as well. Not even mentioning Fred was fond of somebody else. 

He shakily stood up towering over Angelina, Draco glanced at him grimacing. How come in his dream they were said to resemble each other? Malfoy was just an ignorant kid trying to queen over everybody else, reminding Percy’s behavior. Percy and Malfoy won’t be serious about anybody unless they are the meat in the sandwich, Fred wondered actually why did his older brother ended up in Gryffindor. He quickly step into his shoes, facing the door. His body ached so did his mind, it’s been already a few months since the warm feeling started to haunt him every single night. He would stare at George’s sleeping face imagining laying close enough to reach his cheek. Fred’s body would always react,  _needy_ as ever recently. 

He tried to march, but his mind seemed to rush his body to pick up the pace before Madame Pomfrey or anybody was going to spot him and put him in the bed again. He doubted Johnson was going to chase after him. Fred quickly made it to the corridor, resting his arms on the walls if necessary. The dizziness was going through his mind and he hated being vulnerable and it all was pissing him off. The twins must talk about their shop and start planning as much as the twins were able to plan being themselves. They did not have the time to duel with Malfoy nor the teachers. 

If he was going to see _ Umbitch _ now, then he would probably put a firework in her ass. George was nowhere to be seen, but the older twin had an idea of where he could possibly go. The bathroom on the third floor where they used to sell _ Chocolate Frogs _ and _Cauldron Cakes_ before they had started to make their own items for real. The pumpkin pasties failed, cause George was eating them secretly until they were all gone. Fred kept on buying them either way just for his twin. 

_ You both only smile when you bite. _

To think about it, no. Fred only bit back, when somebody attacked him. He had no game in getting in real trouble. When his feet kept on making quiet noises against the hard floor, he was wondering if that dream meant something. He never really thought about his dreams, but that one seemed so unrealistically real. 

He did not liked seeing people get hurt, but Angelina’s face when he rejected her twice seemed to haunt him. Fred could have done it more proper way, be sympathetic. He loved George and did not chase after anyone else, but she was just devastated.  _He was the one to make her cry_.  What would he do if George rejected him that way? Well, even if she was dumped, then they didn’t have to continue their friendship and the twins couldn’t just go apart. He and Malfoy just were not similar at all. Not a bit. When making his way slowly to the staircase, Lee Jordan bumped into him making a wild face, while staring at him with widely opened eyes. His jaw dropped as if Fred was wearing one of Ginny’s dresses along with high heels. 

“Whoa, guys, seriously how fast do you multiply? Hadn’t it been only the two of you?” the shorter male stuttered, looking at Fred suspiciously. Usually, the older twin would just roll his eyes or chuckle, but he had some things to explain. 

“What? Have you packed yourself with some _ Fever Fudges?” _ the Weasley twin asked, feeling his back pain returning. He was for sure steadier than the first time and the bandages were hidden under the clothes George brought him. George did everything to make Fred feel better and all Fred did was upsetting George. 

“ _I’ve just seen you two going upstairs_. _Dude, Halloween’s over_ ,”  Lee insisted with serious face, his eyebrow twitching. And it was what made Fred’s heart pound as mad. The twitching eyebrow always involved Jordan telling the truth. The twin panicked, but he went past the boy and began to jump two stairs at once.  _Something is not right_ ,  his body seemed to be telling him and Fred was always trusting himself. Did somebody drank the _ polyjuice potion _ to kidnap one of them? Why would anybody be interested in the twins? No one would ever listen even if they had something to say. 

The sun was setting, shining through the stained glass and Fred was feeling as if the faster he walked, the farther the bathroom seemed to be. His heart panged painfully as the bathroom door distance was closing. His shoes clattered against the glossy floor, Fred felt the fear and his gut was telling him George could feel the same. Did  _Umbitch_ predict that? Of course not, she is either stupid or cruel to the core. Then, he heard his own voice speaking.  _His fucking voice._ He would never mistake it for George’s one, his brother’s one was deeper than his. Who on earth would have the nerve to just pop into Hogwarts? Did they not remember Moody’s case? It was easier than ever to spot the fraud. 

Now he understood. Fred and George were a pair. If one of them was somewhere else than the other, no one would be fishy about it. He felt anger pumping itself into his veins and his fists began to itch. He hoped his younger twin wouldn’t trust the bastard. He stopped just before the door to listen to them talking, then storm into the bathroom and sort the guy out. Not to lie, Fred’s body was slowly aching unbearably and he needed to release its tension. 

“Why don’t you get a girlfriend finally, brother. It’s tiring to see you all the time,”the voice rumbled in the room, causing Fred to cringe squinting his big eyes. It did not sound like the older twin at all. _The dick_ was trying to get them apart, so that he could do whatever he wanted secretly moving around as  the twin no one even cared which one.  He for sure was willing to learn some  _sensitive_ information.  Luckily, the twins haven’t been recently talking about any serious stuff, completely busy with producing their stuff or spending the days studying as much as they had to. 

As hell Fred Weasley was going to let him make George think he was the real twin. He has already put his hand onto the handle. Whoever it was, will tell George awful things and he was pretty sure about it. He couldn’t stand the fact his Georgie was going to hate him.

“Freddie, what’s gotten into you lately? What about our shop?” George asked anxiously, his voice much quieter; dull almost. Fred almost growl, when his anger raised even more. His twin’s sounded sad as Percy’s girlfriend. He wanted to strangle the git and beat him up as fast as he could. 

“Stop calling me Freddie. We’re not ten anymore, it’s weird,” the fake Fred said and the blood boiled in the real Fred’s veins. He only imagined George’s even more hurt face. It pissed him off to the point where he opened the door with a loud bang. George’s back was rested against the old medieval sink, his fist clenching on the rim. His twin’s face was clearly sad, but he seemed to do his best to hide it. The fake Fred turned his back and the younger twin gasped as his jaw literally dropped. He looked exactly the same, Fred wasn’t dumb and he had no problem distinguishing the twins. His clothing the same, his hair a little bit different. The clone had the nerve to come closer the younger twin to grab his arm in a  _protective_ manner. The real older twin felt his lungs melting and blood pounding through his ears. Deep inside his mind, he suspected George also believed that he is the real twin.

“ _Don’t you touch him_ ,”  Fred hissed through his teeth, not daring to move closer. He was afraid if he would jump to the person’s neck, George’s going to be hurt. He already has been looking  _hurt as hell _and it was all Fred’s fault. If he had given air to Angelina firmly...the older twin’s body was dense and he was feeling dizzy, but the twins had never been confronted alone by a predator before. George looked at him confusedly and he realized it sounded as if he was going to cow them now. The real one looked the fake in the eyes and the person seemed to be hesitant. What was worse, Fred’s body was regenerating after Blaise’s kick and he wasn’t as strong as always. His mind seemed to be drifting off as he kept on blinking fast to hide his discomfort. 

“What do you want?” The guy asked and Fred’s amber eyes said  _A bit rich coming from you_.  The older twin took out the wand from his pocket and George hesitantly covered the intruder with his own body.  _Was it happening for real?_ Now, with his wand in his hand Fred was looking hell of predator-like. How could he prove he was the real one? The fake Fred grabbed his back to fake back pain, causing the younger twin to carefully took out his wand. It seemed ridiculous, his own twin holding a wand against him. He knew the man predicted the twins standing against each other.  _For Merlin’s_ sake,  he wanted Fred to  cast a spell to _hurt his own twin_.  The older twin started to sweat nervously, wishing it was all a dream caused by the  _Sleeping Draught._

“Does it hurt?” George asked concerned looking at the fake’s expression. He didn’t know what to think. The image of Angelina kissing his twin seemed to tear his heart into two pieces somehow. Fred has changed lately, he wasn’t hugging him or touching as usual. It seemed strange that his twin asked him not to call him Freddie anymore, but his stays in the Hospital Wing must have been tough and maybe that was the reason. His heart was going like crazy, when the younger twin put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. The panic raising in him managed to push his breaking heart aside. Deep inside, he was starting to get a feeling the shoulder he was touching wasn’t Fred’s one. It didn’t seem to be that warm as it always used to be. George tried to communicate with the twin through his thoughts, but the other boy didn’t know why was he looking at him. Fred would always know what George was thinking. The real one rolled his eyes angrily. 

The real older twin almost took off as a one big firework.  _The bitch had the audacity_... he needed to be careful. What if the guy was going to stab George if he leaned closer or cast a spell behind his back? The older twin was truly feeling drunk-like and his thinking slowed down due to the medications he had taken yesterday. George pointed his wand now at the real Fred again and the older twin looked him deeply in the eyes,  _seriously, mate, don’t you recognize a guy who you were born with_?  An electric spark seemed to go through their bodies and George’s heart seemed to be in its place again. The younger male hesitantly lowered the wand, feeling his twin’s halo slowly embracing him. The body beside him didn’t seem to have any effect on the younger twin. 

“How do I know which one of you is the real one?” he said slowly, not wanting to offend the predator by saying  _why did not sew a real one and a fake one on your jumpers._ His joking nature stepped behind knowing he had absolutely no idea who was the fake one. What if he was a Death Eater trying to torture or kidnap one of them? The bathroom was at the end of the hallway, nobody would hear them. Also, unattended apparition was prohibited here and it made the situation even worse to think of. 

“Then ask about something only the real  Gred knows,” the real older twin suggested seeing the panic on his fake face. It was most likely the git used  _Legilimency_ to penetrate their minds. Fred cursed himself in his thoughts. He was thinking about George that often the intruder could learn anything about them two. Including his psychical desires and dreams, the older twin blushed. The air got heavy and the other redhead wondered about the question.  _Please, ask about something we haven’t thought about for a while_ ,  he begged George through his thoughts. 

“That’s rubbish. Can’t you tell I was the one to go after you?” he said making Fred wanna burst out in laughter. The guy even made the effort of stealing his brother’s jumper from their room. It was obvious he knew, which one Fred was wearing at the moment. His younger twin’s eyes opened slightly and he seemed to understand, making a few steps forward. Did George not feel special only towards Fred? If the older one was given the _polyjuice potion_ ,  was he able to tell it? Would he be able to spot Fred in a stranger body? Would their bond work? 

“Which of our brothers apparated on a mohair beret during his exam?” George asked eagerlyobserving both Freds’ reactions. The fake one rubbed his eyes and it was obvious he didn’t know the answer. He was for sure looking for some crucial informations, but to be honest, the twins were so occupied with their own problems they wouldn’t think about the small things from the past. They both started to think about the Quidditch just in case. 

“Charlie,  _Forge_ ,” Fred asked bravely, feeling proud of himself. The other one remained silent, giving the twins a furious look. Having a twin and seeing a person pretending to be oneself was truly different. George immediately walked to the real Fred, his older twin’s arm protectively wrapping itself around his back. George was feeling safer now, the two of them a pair again.

 _How could I did not recognize you immediately_?,  George’s skin was saying. The younger twin carefully reached his jeans’ pocket to touch the illuminating black powder in a small sack.  _Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder_ he had just picked up from Zonko’s at Hogsmeade. The twins ordered it a few weeks ago to test it. He was so occupied with Angelina he forgot about it. 

“How dared you tell George to find a girlfriend? Maybe you find one and stop bothering us,” Fred’s voice echoed in the room, his younger twin squished his arm. It was reckless and completely disobedient to the rules Umbridge was teaching them; it felt good to do so. He quickly intertwined his fingers with Fred’s ones to make sure they weren’t separating. He did not know anything else about the powder but the fact it allowed you to leave a place fast and anonymously. The fake Fred made his way to the twins, taking off his wand that for sure wasn’t Fred’s one. It was why he had faked pain, to avoid showing his wand. 

And George took some powder to toss it onto the floor to cause a total darkness and irritating air going inside their nostrils before the man could blink.

***

The stress did not come unexpected. They were safe now, but his heart rate was not going any down. Fred tried to control his breathing, but his lungs seemed to be squeezed together, his chest unable to move. They were safe now, nothing was lying in wait for them. George was sitting down next to him, his long eyelashes fluttering against his unusually pale cheeks. His teeth bit his nails with verve. 

“They’re already numb, mate,” Fred said smiling weakly at his brother.  _I’m stressed,_ George restless orbs said as he was looking around as if the enemy was close enough to breathe onto his shoulder. “I want to see my sons,” was said behind the door as the twins looked at each other suggestively. Molly. She was either going to hug them until they suffocate or kill them and they would also suffocate. 

“Excuse me, where is he?” Molly Weasley blurted out nervously clutching her bag, pressing it to her side. She didn’t have to clarify the person she was asking about, her ginger locks falling onto her shoulders. Madame Pomfrey gestured the bed, on which Fred was lying, all pale and sweating. She did take her to her office to explain her something, though. 

Fred prayed she was not going to set the whole castle up. The shivers were going down his spine and he wanted the week to end. The twin realized how close to danger the twins had been before. The guy could torture them and nobody would hear a thing. What if they started the shop and would live alone? What then? He noticed Malfoy rubbing his red eyes, trying to hide underneath the sheets. He has never seen Draco crying over anything. He hasn’t shown a truly positive emotion once.

_ Fred slowly lifted his eyelids as the candle was burning down, the wax pouring on the wooden nightstand. He felt shiver go down his sides and his teeth start chattering because of the amount of blood he had lost. He was thinking about George. He was collecting every piece of his smallest memories to create a living image of his twin lying here, in his arms. He could almost feel the warm skin on his back against Fred’s stomach. The younger twin’s hair would smell ginger and cinnamon as it always did. He closed his eyes again to let himself rest so that his body could regenerate itself.  _

_ Once, he wasn’t that dumb. He had a gingerbread-man and didn’t want to eat it on Christmas morning.  _

_ Molly used to make the twins out of gingerbread. The small figures were small enough to fit inside palm of his hand. A small G and F were drawn on the sweets. Fred didn’t want to eat it to be able to look at it for hours. Now, Fred was adult and looking at his twin simply wasn’t enough, the animal inside of him wanted to taste George’s sweetness. The older twin frowned realizing his own hopeless desires coming to him again. He did not wantto be seen as a caring one in front of Malfoy and Zabini. Where did Fred the Jokester go? Why did Fred the Sick Animal come around?  _

_ “Let me go to my room, you moron,” Blaise said seeing Malfoy raging some words out of his mouth furiously, “He’s sleeping, as hell is he going to attack you now.” The Malfoy hier did not let go. He had experienced the Weasley’s anger before. He did not want to look at them ever again. His teeth did not want to feel the twins’ fists. The Slytherins seemed to be thinking Fred was sleeping for real. He was shivering though as the sheets were rubbing against his cold skin.  _

_ “I wanted to make the Potions task before Christmas,” Blaise whined, scratching his neck. Malfoy rolled his eyes, task my ass. Everybody from the year knew Zabini was dating Daphne Greengrass and he didn’t want even to think about sitting with Malfoy all the time.  _

_ “Sometimes I envy the weasel idiots,” Draco whispered barely audible, his voice raspy. Blaise didn’t even bother to snap about the topic’s change. Fred absentmindedly raised his eyebrows as if it could make him hear it better. “Which one,” Blaise’s gaze asked, his shoes shuffling against the cold floor.  _

_ “All of them. I never wanted this,” he said ruffling some fabric underneath his fingers. “This what?” asked Zabini and Fred could hear Malfoy rolling his fair eyes. The older twin’s head seemed to explode, the ache and the tension making him sick. Blaise didn’t seem to remember kicking Fred or he was trained not to look at him.  _

_ “The Christmas with a silver tree and the floor covered in presents. I don’t want it. I want my father to look at me normally and not as a stupid idiot I am. I want him to accept me, I would rather have the cheap tree from the cheapest store in the street,” Malfoy confessed quickly, as Fred turn to his side to hide his eyes, which popped open, unable to believe in the blonde’s words. It was the first and last time the twin thought about Draco as if the other one was an ordinary person who can feel emotions. Blaise remained silent, sighing loudly. He clearly wanted to say something, but Malfoy continued on totally ignoring him in case he wanted to go back to his bedroom.  _

_ “I’m sure they are jealous of you, who wouldn’t want that?” Zabini noticed and it was hard to deny his words. Many would kill to be sitting where Malfoy was sitting, the twins excluded.  _

_ “Fuck mum and dad for buying my affection, fuck them for the mansion and fuck them for the fact they would die to make me satisfied,” Malfoy choked out, speeding up with every time he said fuck. Blaise coughed and stood up, Malfoy didn’t say anything, letting him do that.  _

_ “Then what, would you like them not to give a fuck about you?” Blaise asked before he was gone. Malfoy did not hesitate.  _

_ “Yes, but if I received a hideous sweater with a D on it, I would throw up on that cheap tree for sure.”  _

“ Is he sleeping? Oh, Merlin,” Molly’s shaking voice whispered somewhere on his left. He then sensed a warm hand being put onto his forehead and immediately his body seemed to press into it, it was George for sure. True enough, his younger twin said, “No, but his forehead is hot.” He hoped Molly was not going to grill them about the incident now, when Malfoy was there to listen to her. He will tell George to talk to her in Dumbledore’s office to make sure nobody is eavesdropping them, they’ve enough of spies. 

“How are you, sweetie?” his mother asked him and his mind barely managed to register her words in. He felt even dizzier than before, the whole world spinning underneath his eyelids. What would have happened if he didn’t go to the bathroom to check on George? 

“I have an apple in my eye I’m afraid,” he joked weakly, not having the smallest hopes George was going to understand it the way Fred wanted. He desired to confess to him the same way Katie was planning to do. He didn’t have the nerve to say it properly, though. He found it too cliché. If he only could, he would communicate with George through his thoughts. He wanted his twin to know without saying anything out loud. 

“Well, Christmas is near. I think mum wouldn’t mind to make you an apple pie,” George’s forced joke escaped his lips as Fred’s eyes slowly opened themselves. If an apple pie was made, then his feeling would be eaten away. His eyelids were heavy and his knees were aching, but seeing his twin immediately felt better. A thought about Malfoy’s yesterday’s words came across his mind. He was  _right_. Actually, Fred would love to guarantee George a beautiful flat filled with presents and a silver Christmas tree. He wished he would buy his twin anything the other one wanted. 

“Oh, boys, it’s serious,” Molly scolded them gently nudging George’s arm. Madame Pomfrey noticed Malfoy’s red eyes, then approached him to ask about it, but the only reply she received was “ _Nothing, go away_.” Fred raised himself carefully on his elbows, George’s hand ensuring him. He swallowed hard and rested his head onto the bedstead. 

“I’m tired,” he said unusually quietly as George’s hand brushed his fringe away from his forehead. With the touch of the twin’s hand, a shiver went down his spine all the way to the pelvis. Fred didn’t have many rules, but being in love that was disturbing his creativity processes was definitely one of them. Falling for the person who couldn’t be  _his_ was another one.  _Look what you’ve done, Georgie. Any rule I try to obey you had broken._ Fred couldn’t be a good guy with his twin by his side. 

“If your shape isn’t any better, I will take you home. At the utmost you are going to repeat your seven year, honey,” Molly said caressing his cheek. George’s eyes went round as did his ones.  _It meant Fred staying here and George alone at home._ Not seeing each other for a whole year.  _More than two hundred nights not knowing if George was sleeping safely and if he wasn’t hungry._ Not seeing his lean silhouette by his side? Horror started to echo in his head as the tons of thoughts were going through it. 

Then, the heavy door opened and Dumbledore appeared, his gray beard tanglier than usual. His wrinkled face seemed stressed and he was tapping the door with his fingers. He made himself give them a smile, saying “May I call George aside?” The younger hesitated, afraid something would happen if he wasn’t by Fred’s side. _ I’m a big boy, go, _ Fred’s amber orbs seemed to say. The younger one couldn’t help, but focus on his cracked heart. He felt rejected as if the real Fred has told him they were just play dates out of boredom and habit. 

“George, why are you not listening?” Molly narrowed her small eyes pulling his arm up. Fred followed his twin’s silhouette standing up as he listened to his own heart silently calling George. He wasn’t scared someone was going to use the trick for the second time, though. Since he was having so many psychical desires about his twin, he started paying attention to the smallest details such as the way the younger twin was biting his lip, when he was focusing. Even if George didn’t look like himself anymore, Fred would always recognize him even if he went blind. It all meant one, his twin wasn’t paying attention to his older twin  _that way._

Fred was stressed although the whole situation came to an end a few moments ago. Maybe this was it, maybe it was just the end of the beginning. What if the Death Eaters were more cunning than thought? The twins didn’t seem mature enough to carry the burden, who would assume they would be the right people to have the most sensitive information? George looked at his older twin once more and the older twin pointed the door with his chin. 

“Don’t worry, George. I won’t leave him even for a minute,” Molly assured her younger son, protectively brushing her hand through Fred’s hair. George’s Adam’s apple moved, when he swallowed hard and the boy turned on his heel. 

The twins’ mother wasn’t dumb. She knew her children perfectly. Every single feature of each her son and her only daughter. She was observing them and before they knew it, she was already well informed. She clasped her hands together and rubbed them to warm herself up. Fred watched his twin going away as if he was never going to see him again. Why did he have to destroy everything? Their relationship was almost gone in his head now, the only remnant of it was the feeling filling him. He hated to love him, but he couldn’t stop it. It hurt, it was bad and will make him leave his life back someday. He knew his health was going to get better, he could feel it. As if the cruel fate was going to give him a second chance and let him strain himself all days long. Maybe staying home for a year would make him forget about George in that way? _Will it do anything?_

“Who?” she asked shortly, putting her purse on the nightstand. Fred blinked, but didn’t say a thing. He was afraid to the death she was going to find out, it would be the definite end of Fred being Weasley. Malfoy sent them both a glare, grimacing at their worn clothes, when turning the pages in his book. The older twin seemed to start understanding the boy. His hang-ups must have been that disturbing even the short glances of anger at other people seemed to help him release the tension. He couldn’t stop his hate towards Draco,  _who he thought he was?_

“What’s the point if I can’t be theirs?” Fred responded looking in front of himself. The image of fake himself touching George and gazing at him haunting him endlessly. She let him rest his head onto her shoulder. Malfoy stood up slowly to go to the Hospital Wing’s bathroom and Madame Pomfrey went somewhere so that Molly and Fred were alone. 

“You see, Fred, heartbreaks may leave a scar, but allowing the people you love be happy makes you forget about the pain and once you look closely, they’re healing faster than you think,” she said it slowly and dryly, he knew she meant Gideon and Fabian. He didn’t know why, though. They were brothers and the twins were...too. He bit his lip, sighing through his teeth. They both meant the romantic way, sensual. 

Letting George go won’t leave a scar. It will take Fred’s heart away and then he would either die or live heartless forever. You cannot patch something up if it’s not here. Every child knows it. He nodded, snorting as he remembered, when George came up with the idea of making a love potion for yourself. But when he was thinking about it now, would it make any difference if the twins were often considered the same person? He felt tired after the confrontation, but he didn’t feel like falling asleep. The hundreds of thoughts were going through his head and he wished somebody would put a ribbon on George and put him under the Christmas tree. 

“How I hate to see you, my twins like this,” she sighed, pulling a few candies out of her bag. She handed him them with a motherly smile. They were Fred’s favorites. He gripped them and played with the golden wrapping. She took out a handkerchief to wipe her runny nose, “Lupin palms these off to everybody saying the chocolate is making people feel better, but I do remember well healing Bill’s teeth after the amounts of sweets he was eating.”

_ Does the cinnamon decays your teeth more than sugar does?  _

“Mum, would you make a tray of pumpkin pasties for Christmas?” Fred asked her unwrapping a chocolate. She could sense the dullness of his voice, when he mentioned Christmas. She wasn’t that merry about it herself since the argument with Percy. Losing her third oldest son felt like losing her left arm. She was thrilled the twins still deeply cared about each other, though. She knew perfectly the pumpkin pasties Fred asked for were meant for George. 

“And is there something you want, honey?” she asked him, observing him eating the milk chocolate. He wondered for a short while, then sat up on his bed carefully. She fixed the pillow so that he was lying comfortable. 

“ _A gingerman_ ,” he replied, making a wish. She smiled warmly at the ginger locks on his forehead, the wrinkles appearing on her mature face. “You mean gingerbread man?” 

He nodded after a while, giving her a weak, joking smile. If only she knew he wanted to taste the cinnamon on George’s lips. His inner animal has been noisier nowadays about it and he started to slowly lose control over it.  It,  he used to call it, the feeling, often scared him to name it. 

_He wanted to be master in Occlumency and stop George from invading his mind. _

“The one I can not only look at, but eat.” 

***

“Potter looked as if he was about to pee his pants,” George noticed humorously, while carrying a few packages, holding them with his chin. Fred nodded with a snort, tripping as the ingredients he held were limiting his visual field. The twins went upstairs to their room quickly before Lee would be back from his date. Fred felt sorry seeing Jordan trying to find a girl to replace Angelina. If it only was this easy to replace his own twin. Not that he wanted to, though. The thought of living from now on with the feeling in his heart scared him to the core. Hiding it from the twin was even harder to think about it. 

" _Facing the stuff is not like in school,”_ Fred sent Potter up, gesturing his hand jokingly. The twins stormed into the bedroom laughing, their eyes scanning the room quickly, shock they’ve experienced recently, working on their minds. It has already been more than two weeks, but the twins did not feel the safeness at all. The room did not seem to have anything unusual to it. Ron along with McGonagall checked the rooms every Friday, so it is best to say it was  _neat_. Although their things weren’t just tossed anywhere, the drawers were  packed  and to fit there anything more was unreal. Their trunks seemed to barely accommodate their products. Their clothes were stuffed underneath their beds, in dust and dirt. It all made the room much safer, not allowing the potential intruder to fit into an inch there. The twins were sure the Death Eaters were not that stupid to catch them in the middle of the students’ bedroom. 

“I’m not so sure about us there, Georgie,” Fred blurted out, putting the packages onto his bed. George frowned, then threw his ones onto the bed as well.  _What do you mean?_ ,  the amber irises were asking. Fred hesitated, but to be honest, he was feeling  it  again as he payed attention to his twin biting his lip nervously. 

“Do you see what’s happening? The nightmares, fouls, attacks. They’re trying to kidnap us and don’t know what else!” he spluttered fast, throwing some of the packages under his bed. They are going to start experimenting tomorrow and they better rest today to gain some energy they desperately needed.

“We wanted it, Fred. Agreed...” George started to explain their own actions feeling somehowlonely in Fred’s company. He saw it perfectly how his older twin avoided his eyes. He still didn’t know why. Was it because of Angelina? Was he coming between them? Should he leave his usual place? 

“I don’t want to put you in the risk, that’s all,” Fred managed to look his brother in the eyes for more than a few minutes before his rebellious eyes went down, straight to the younger’s lips. There was a crumb of cinnamon remaining on his pale skin. 

“We both signed for it and now  _Umbitch_ can make us do anything,” Fred continued, not even minding to say it nicer or make a joke about it. He hasn’t been in a mood to do so recently. He wasn’t himself recently. George took it all. The younger one clenched his fists, “I’m not doing it for Potter or the Order, I’m doing it for you only.”

Fred looked up to see his twin’s determined face gazing at him. His teeth clenched on the inner part of his cheek. It was terrifying at this point. Whatever George would say, it made Fred want him more. The quiet sound of him breathing could even turn the older twin’s body on. The cinnamon on the younger one’s lips glimmered in the dim light of the room glitter-like. Fred had bought him a dozen of cinnamon cookies to make him forget about the punishment he got because of Malfoy. Quitting Quidditch wasn’t that bad as they had a lot of work to do. If he could, he would take George away from here and make the world forget about the twins for a day. And then open their shop at once. 

“I’m badly scared you’re going to be hurt. You’re the airs and graces to my Percy, Gred,” George joked, smiling shyly at his twin who blushed a little, rummaging through the boxes. He seemed to ignore George’s joke, but the truth was he was afraid of giving himself away. It wouldn’t be just a shame, it would be an end of everything he ever knew. 

“Why don’t you look at me?” George grabbed Fred’s shoulder causing a savage shiver go down the older’s back; the older twin freed himself from the other twin’s touch violently, too violently. He couldn’t let his body’s reaction go on. George froze with an utter surprise, his hand still in the air and his mouth closing and opening. Fred knew there’s no way out of this anymore. He must play pretend or else he will be screwed. 

“Since when you’ve become so touchy?” George asked wryly putting his hand into his pocket. Fred didn’t say anything for a few seconds, afraid to make a move as the other twin was watching him closely. He feared the touching going too far. He feared scaring George with his  _sickness_. 

_ And when did I skipped the moment you’ve become so touching to me? _

“And since when you’ve become that clingy?” Fred responded, saying an opposite of his inner thoughts. George looked hurt and it made Fred’s heart crack silently. The amount of the cracks was rising each day recently. He just wanted to let George fall asleep next to him right now, but it was obvious they couldn’t anymore. The dark circles under the twin’s eyes were visible for anyone to see it. 

_Clingy?_ ,  George’s disappointed look said.  Yeah,  Fred’s eyes replied. Then, the older twin turned around to move around the remaining boxes and George felt some tears forming in his eyes. He was feeling that hurt he wanted to scream. All these things has happened and now Fred was rejecting his touch, when he was needing it the most. The older twin came back for the rest of their things just to notice the younger one hasn’t moved. 

“You have something on your face, it annoys me,” Fred said brushing the crumble away from George’s face under the pretense to touch the alabaster skin. The younger twin twitched, moving away hesitantly. The touch of his older brother’s fingers was like a spell casted against him, it made him completely  _idle._

“Can’t we let it be as it’s always been?” George asked and they both knew what was it about.  _Touching, feeling, being close_ in general.  Fred’s swallowed, opening the lid of the box he held in his arms.  _If only..._

“I hate saying it, but nothing lasts forever. Nor our fireworks or rockets, they can now blow up in our faces,” Fred noticed quickly, segregating the powders inside the drawer. Indeed, the feeling he had not so deep inside seemed like one big firework. Unable to control it, unable to destroy it. The only thing Fred Weasley could do was watching his relationship with his younger twin blow up _forever,_ with a blast of shame and remorse. 

George couldn’t believe in the words he was hearing. Fred sounded exactly as the predator back then in the bathroom. He’s changed so much and it seemed the closer the younger twin was, the more visible the change was. 

“No,” his voice echoed in the quiet room and Fred’s lifted his gaze to see a tear going down George’s cheek, “ _The only thing in this world going on forever is you telling me you’re done with her.”_

“ We’re friends, you can go and ask her,” Fred tried to defend himself, calming down as another tear went down his twin’s cheek. He feared he has gone too far, but there was no going back now, he had to do it. 

“There’s no need to ask. Friends do not kiss each other on the mouth and go on a Ball together!” George’s voice were escaping his mouth as a bunch of fireworks. He didn’t care anymore, why should he? They were just brothers there was no need to be upset about the other one getting a girlfriend.

“And brothers do not sleep with each other or hug all the time!” Fred growled looking at him, shutting the drawer with a loud noise. The handle fell off and rolled under the bed.  _ He could lie and say he meant it, but he didn’t._

George blinked to stop his tears from coming, but it didn’t help so he just wiped his face with his sleeve. Fred seemed to be ready to cry as well, but he clenched his jaw, hiding his face in his hand so that he didn’t see the younger twin going out the room. 

_ He did what he needed to do. He did it against the voice in his heart, he did caged the wild animal that was hurting and biting him and George. He’s done it for George, as always.  _


	10. Expecto Patronum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been pretty busy lately, I’m sorry. Take care of you, guys!

George was digging in his porridge not even looking at it. It was almost cold now and he was feeling the same. Fred sat on his right, talking to Lee Jordan loudly. Their arms brushed from time to time, but nothing more. He wouldn’t even turn his head to George. The twin was buried in his thoughts and Ginny was sitting next to him, torturing her stew as well. Christmas was coming up and everybody started preparing the gifts and the ornaments. The twins had settled for making as many Christmas products as they could before, but none of them cared now. Banishing the twins from the Quidditch team wasn’t helping as everyone was involved in the last game of the season except for the twins who listened numbly to Lee babbling about last match. No new information from the Order, either they want them to focus on their studying in peace or nothing major was happening for real.

_Fred was avoiding him since their fight_. Every single time he tried to ask what was the reason, he would be told Fred had a really bad day or his twin walked away under the pretense of some non-existing issues. He was hanging around with Lee all the time and the thing was where Angelina was there Jordan was. And George didn’t want to be near her. Because of her the twins were arguing and she was tearing them apart. He focused his dumb gaze on Hagrid trailing a big Christmas tree behind himself, while McGonagall was hanging the mistletoes above the tables with her wand.

_“How do you do kiss?” Fred wondered out loud looking at the mistletoe above the twins’ redheads. George was fixing the fireplace so that when dad is going to light a fire tomorrow’s morning, the ash is going to blow into his face. The room was quiet and cold, but the twins were used to cold. Each other’s presence somehow has always been better than any sweater. George snorted, “Why? Do you want to kiss the girl from the stationery shop?” he said, standing up and nudging his arm. The kitchen was empty as everybody had gone to sleep already. Even Bill and Charlie locked themselves in their room to unwrap their gifts. The room seemed empty and the wood still untouched although being burned since this morning. The twins’ energy wasn’t over, but Molly and Arthur were too exhausted to care about their boys plotting around. Once the Christmas Day was over, nobody would be angry about ruining it. The younger twin wiped his ashy hands on his jeans. It didn’t help much, though. Fred bit his lip, but surprisingly he wasn’t thinking about any joke._

_“Wanna try?” the older twin asked intrigued, while the other frowned slightly. It shouldn’t be anything new as the twins were born to discover the world. Us?, George’s eyes asked. Fred chuckled, his still childish voice echoed in the small kitchen, “Well, I thought you’ve dumped your imaginary friends quite a while ago.” They looked each other in the eyes jokingly._

_“I don’t see the point of having any as I have you,” George smiled playfully, nipping his nails. Fred walked up to younger twin slowly. It was almost completely dark so that the twins couldn’t see the details of their faces. His twin shifted hesitantly on his feet, he reckoned it was only a joke, why would they...? But he played along, curiosity taking over him._

_“Is it better like that?” George asked, tugging his slightly long ginger locks on his cheeks. He smudged the ash all over his lean face. Fred looked at him briefly, focusing on his dark eyebrows and long eyelashes. No, his eyes said as his hands went for his twin’s hair to push it back as always. He hated seeing George as someone else for real. His hands now were dirty from his younger twin’s ash. It made his life a lot easier, the fact that they were exact the same height, he didn’t have to bend his neck._

_“Am I supposed to close my eyes now?” George asked as Fred shrugged, giggling soundlessly. The twins were not interested in love stuff at all and they didn’t have the smallest idea of how to act. The older one put his warm hands onto the younger’s shoulders, George freed himself instantly, “What are you doing?” Fred did it again, “They always do it somehow.” They chuckled, but still tried to position themselves in front of each other. The wind blew through the old windows making George shiver._

_“Ready, Forge?” Fred asked quiet, not sure about Ginny sleeping right now. The other one nodded his head, chewing his lip. George’s heart seemed to be pounding hardly to the point where he was afraid Fred’s gonna hear it. Even if he would, he didn’t say anything, but leaned closer and the younger twin couldn’t help the urge to close his amber eyes._

_And it was when Fred’s nose bumped into his one. His head jolted away as he hissed, “I thought you were willing to learn to kiss, not to learn how to knock me out,” George complained, rubbing his red nose. Well, he couldn’t see it, but suspected his skin to turn florid. “I’m sorry, it was too quick,” the older twin whispered and it sounded genuine. The younger twin’s seen Bill kissing his girlfriend once, he remembered to tilt his head._

_Fred took his face in his hands and it made George’s knees somehow go weak. It felt so new, but nice the same time. A part of him wanted to laugh out loud to release the tension. He could hear Fred’s uneven breathing. We’re just trying, he communicated with his older twin through his thoughts, but the older one did not respond._

_And that was when Fred’s teeth bumped into his ones. “Really, mate, if you wanna save something up on the dentist as muggles call it, then brushing your teeth should be enough. There’s no need to knock my teeth out.” He touched his teeth to make sure everything is in the right place. In that amazement, he must have bitten his tongue. Fred covered his lips with his hands, frowning. He did felt his brother’s lips for a second and it was something brand new. It didn’t seem as anything they’ve felt in their lives. He didn’t know why his heart rushed so much, though. These were only the exercises to improve their abilities not serious ones. Last one, Fred’s gaze asked and George nodded._

_Fred tilted his head and the other boy shut his eyes forcefully, waiting for the moment to come. The younger twin felt his brother clenching his fist on his sweater as he inhaled his skin’s sweet scent. He tried to back away, but Charlie’s chair didn’t let him do it._

_Finally, third time lucky, they kissed briefly. It was more a peck than a kiss, but it felt new. And the twins loved new things. It then felt weird and disgusting at some point. It was odd to think his brother’s soft lips hugged themselves to his private ones for a few seconds. The weirder was the fact it was nice. If he asked him for permission, he would allow him one thousand of times. George put his cold hands deep down inside his pockets._

_“It’s not that far from the way we used to do it,” Fred said, but George did not like to think about it. It was brand new, for sure. “You’re dirty,” he noticed in the kitchen’s dim light._

“I thought you’re old enough to discover the night is for sleeping,” Fred’s voice woke him up as he let the spoon fall into his porridge. He felt his heart pricking and he tried his best to focus on literally _anything but his brother._ Although the twins followed the rule of running their own things and not letting the things run them, George felt the anxiety winning this war.

“Why don’t you eat something?” his twin asked him, ignoring Lee’s talking. George shrugged, _not hungry,_ looking at his completely cold porridge. He felt Fred’s hand patting his back, he felt an urge to suck his stomach in. “We’ve got a mission today, remember?” He smirked with the corner of his lip. A part of George wanted to say sorry and let the things be as they had been before, but the other part wanted to bang his head with Molly’s frying pan. He didn’t let his twin see it, though.

“What mission?” Harry chimed in, approaching the Gryffindor’s table. George felt Ginny jolting on his left. She mouthed a lovely _hi, Harry_. The twins had been unsuccessfully trying to push her into his arms, but the dumbo wouldn’t even notice if Fred and George made a firework saying, _Our sister is very fond of you._ Hermione stood behind Potter’s back, controlling the whole situation as the twins rolled their eyes almost as playfully as always.

“Well, we thought that if the Santa’s having tea with U-no-poo, then someone needs to take his place,” Fred started explaining pretty rumbustiously, while George smiled to himself. So that was it? The quick moment of attention? The twins used to be a living definition of _wanton._

“Santa’s not re...” Lee started jokingly, but George covered Ginny’s ears. Harry swung on his heel showing his white teeth, choking with laughter. Fred glanced at his twin from the corner of his big eye, he seemed pissed off. Was he doing anything wrong? Ginny threw his hands off furiously, covering her blushed face with her red hair. Lee started whistling, moving broccoli around his plate. The younger twin felt Katie’s gaze, but didn’t know why, because nobody else looked at him, Fred did not look.

“So,” Potter started again, ruffling his hair, “Don’t forget about the meeting today,” he added quietly and everybody nodded as he sat down. The ambience suddenly became cold and bland as the porridge, but nobody was in mood to change it. Were it only the twins or everybody was stressed as well? Or it was just the school business? Umbridge was getting nosier and the Army’s meetings were rarer than usual, the Christmas coming meant fun and meeting their loved ones, the things the Hogwarts’ students needed the most during the tough times. It wasn’t unbearable though, to keep themselves at school the twins needed to do the minimum. And the time consumed either by homework or classes managed to draw the boys’ attention.

Fred grabbed a cookie from the platter and George felt nauseous. How could he eat that much while the younger twin could barely shove a few spoons in his mouth? He doesn’t seem to gain any weight, _unlike me,_ the younger twin thought to himself. Even though they were identical, the differences were coming up each day.

The dinner was declining as Angelina stood up, brushing her hand against Fred’s elbow as he was chewing on the cookie, George narrowed his eyes, _Just friends my ass_. He looked away just in time to see Jordan’s grimace. The dark-skinned boy murmured something about the Defense Against Dark Arts project and then he walked away with Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet.

“See you, Fred,” Angelina said warmly, pulling him into a quick hug. It pissed George off to the core though there was nothing wrong about the hug. She acted as if George wasn’t there. Fred put his arms around her for a few seconds, the corner of his lips visibly went up. It was just a friends’ hug that he and Katie or Lee and Alicia would exchange sometimes, but somehow George couldn’t move, his limbs felt numb and his teeth gritted. He felt as the least important one again. The worse twin, the less out-going one and it showed.

It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault something switched inside Fred’s mind as the muggle telephone. Why did he keep on feeling an urge to say sorry to Fred and hope he would forget about their fight? George knew the things cannot always be just right, but the majority of the others’ arguments were caused by personality differences. And the twins were identical and almost always agreed. _So what was the reason_? Fred scooped some chocolate chip cookies and threw them into his pockets. George’s stomach gutted at the sight of it. He suddenly felt like throwing up, his eyes hot again. He wanted a nap and a few days to laze around with Fred. This tiredness was killing his creativity processes and he couldn’t afford that. The twins promised themselves to create brand new, Christmas stuff. And yet nothing has appeared to their minds, sadly.

Dean Thomas approached them to kiss Ginny on her pale cheek. She didn’t hug her cheek into his lips though, she seemed focused on Harry smiling at someone in the distance. _What a prick_ , the twins thought at once, looking at each other. The boy grabbed her hand, but she freed herself to take the spoon to finish her rabbit stew. The twins knew perfectly she did it on purpose. Whenever Potter was near, she seemed to be rejecting any Dean’s touch. Fred and George tried to not show their feelings about it unlike Ron who watched the scene with full mouth until Hermione banged his back with an open hand.

_Love is weird, compare to it, me and Fred seem serious._

***

“Someone’s coming,” George murmured keeping the door open as Fred left the violet box on the old bureau soundlessly. The meeting was going to start in minutes or maybe it was already going on, they need to hurry up.

Years of stealing food from kitchen, then things from their older brothers to finally have an own cabinet of _Frederick and George’s Weasley Misdeeds_ at Hogwarts. The older twin gave himself a second to look at the box’s signature; _As an expression of our gratitude and love, yours sincerely DM, GG, VC, PP, MB, GM, CW; Inquisitorial Squad_. The chocolates inside were truly a mix of all their products. Not to harm seriously, but yet be hard to remove. _Was it too much? No. Well, yes it wa_ s. If the twins were lucky, at least one of the Slytherins is going to be punished. George tried to bent his neck to see who’s coming.

“I can’t tell who is it, Fred.”

_Fred_ from George’s mouth seemed at least strange. The older twin wasn’t surprised though, it was normal the younger twin kept the distance. It was boring a hole in Freddie’s heart. Fred knew nothing was gonna be like it used to be and he couldn’t do anything about it. It _hurt_ him. To be honest, everything hurt. Everything seemed to shout _George is never going to be yours_ at him. And the older twin was fighting with it inside his mind, what could he do? He had an impression that he changed a little, that he became a bit more sympathetic than before. Only few months ago pushing Montague into the _Vanishing Cabinet_ wasn’t something Fred would think twice about. Jokes were jokes, _weren’t they?_

A tiny part of Fred pitied Malfoy and knew it wasn’t his fault that his parents were making him do it all, but the other blamed him for getting the twins banished from the Quidditch team. If he wasn’t playing with Fred and George, then he wouldn’t even be provoked by them. The room was dark and he wanted to go out it to see his twin.

_“I don’t fucking want it, Blaise. Once, I was the best in whole class, I wanted him to just appreciate me and you know what?” Malfoy blurted out asking Zabini. The dark-skinned boy shook his head. “He’s just left me a brand new rag from France! As hell I wanted that,” he added grunting._

Then, out of sudden, his younger twin’s hand dragged him out the room. He obeyed quietly and the touch of his brother’s skin seemed to be an antidote for all the stress he’s received. He let his twin lead him anywhere he wanted to go. His worries were falling asleep at least, whenever George would touch him, he became numb. The younger twin leaded him around the corner from where they could observe Filch receiving his gift. The twins stood behind the cool wall, listening to the old man’s steps. They asked Lee Jordan to make a mess in boys’ bathroom so that they had a moment to do the chocolate thing. They doubted Filch was going to get a firework blown in his face, but it’ll slow him anyway.

Fred rested his back on a stone-brick wall, admiring George’s profile. He couldn’t look away as if the twin’s image was calling him. He was so thin, his cheekbones becoming to look hollow. The younger’s face was beaming in the dim darkness, his eyelashes long and his eyebrows furrowed. Fred will from now on pay attention to George’s meals. He had been promising himself to do so, but was afraid he would invade his twin’s privacy.

Because in the past weeks the twins finally developed a _privacy._ A right of keeping things apart from anybody, even the other twin. Fred was feeling almost guilty for not saying anything to George, but he knew he couldn’t anymore. It’s became too dangerous do to so and the true was the twins feared some things as well as other people. They’ve simply learn to hide it well enough.

The old, grumpy man appeared out of nowhere, with his oil lamp clattering against the handle. He kept on muttering some insults under his breath as usual. Fred heard him turning the rusty key in the lock. The twins literally heard him gasp, then pick up the box from the wooden table. A few minutes passed and the twins made their best not to cause the slightest sound. They heard him grunting, then making his way to the door again. It seemed the old caretaker has just read the description and was going out to see if someone was still here! Filch’s room was at the end of the corridor meaning there was only a one way out. The corner where twins were hiding leaded only to _Umbitch_ office so no way out except for the one next to the door. They will have to to shut the door right in the old male’s face to have a few extra minutes. Soon, Mrs Norris followed the caretaker, the fluffy paws going through the stone floor. She stopped in the doorway and the twins held their breaths.

„We out,” Fred whispered barely audible and George’s eyebrows went up. His inner voice told him it was the right moment to run away and it was never wrong. _What?_ , his expression asked, but his fifteen minutes older brother tried to drag him behind himself. The younger one didn’t let him though, using all his force to pull him to himself. Fred’s body pounded against his chest and his back hit the cold wall as he bit his teeth not to make a sound. He felt the world around him spinning violently and his empty stomach turned turtle.

The older twin didn’t struggle, he let him do it. Fred’s twin’s arms wrapped around his lean chest was something he had been needing the most. None of them moved, inhaling the other one’s organic scent. George knew there was no escape in the very right moment so he made use of it, hiding his face into brother’s neck. I missed you, his body told the other one and the other unnoticeably hugged the back of his neck into his brother’s forehead. Fred’s shirt smelled of the perfumes Bill got him from Egypt when Fred was in the Hospital Wing. The ones with amber and sandal wood. George got his ones with cinnamon and myrrh. The younger twin had used them for a while, but didn’t like them one bit. His older twin had been wanting them so he got them, but when he was given, he made no use of them, storing the bottle in his nightstand. The younger one saw no point in having the perfumes you don’t use.

_“Would you still love me if I’m no longer your brother?”_

He knew he would even if Fred stopped loving him. Fred was _his comfort, an insurance he was fine_. Without him George would be just a living body. Maybe they were truly one person divided in half. Perhaps others were right and the twins were never meant to be a two. His arms squeezed Fred’s torso harder as they listened to Filch going back inside the room to throw some new misdeeds into drawers. Knowing Fred was listening, the younger twin closed his eyes slightly as if it allowed him to smell his twin better. The soap everybody used seemed to be different on his twin, it had a hint of something. Somehow George wasn’t afraid anymore of Filch. Even if they got punished, he didn’t care as long as he could pull his brother close. He has been writing with the _Bloody Quill_ a few times already, it wasn’t as scary as he thought. In the worst case, they’re going to be kicked out the school by the pink witch. They decided to go and have a look on Zonko’s Shop after Christmas, so they’ll probably have somewhere to live.

The old man behind a wall didn’t seem lurking for them anymore, the twins stood around the corner, silently _reuniting_ somehow. Then, after a few seconds, Fred moved away from his twin to look at the corridor better. George’s mood dropped a little, but he focused on the sounds around them. It was just peaceful only for a while, then Filch cursed something and the twins knew throwing the box on the floor meant their mission’s success.

Out of sudden, Mrs Norris caterwauled loudly and George squeezed Fred’s hand, fearing Umbridge will go outside to investigate the noise. Filch murmured something about cheeky students and apparently dropped something, scaring his cat. The cat stormed out the room and Filch went after it, his face covered in huge blisters. Fred’s eyes went round as if he didn’t know the effect. The man went away chasing his cat, allowing the twins to escape unnoticed. George let Fred go and the older one got away pretty quickly, looking at his brother over his shoulder. The younger twin wondered if he will ever be fast enough to catch up to his twin.

***

The Room of Requirement seemed awfully stuffy as a bunch of unsuccessful and successful patronuses was flying around, the white mist filling the air. Fred was looking at George from the corner of his eye, trying to cast a corporeal patronus. Harry said to imagine some happy memory, but the older twin didn’t have the best one to be honest. A cascade of the ones containing the younger twin’s face were the most common ones, but it didn’t seem enough. The thick spurts did not fall into place making anything, but a cloud.

He tried to imagine George’s face under his eyelids. Every feature, from the tiny wrinkle above his eyebrow to the scar on his jaw. Then his sweet scent, the perfumes he got recently. Although the younger twin wasn’t using them regularly, they were perfect for him. Sweet, but tangy the same time. George wanted to give them away to Ron, but Fred insisted on keeping them. He willed to use them, but wanted to preserve the scent as long as he could. He would spray it onto his pillow from time to time to imagine falling asleep with his twin as they had always been doing it.

“ _Expecto Patronum_ ,” he murmured under his breath, but nothing happened. Since he has understood trying to get closer to George is going to hurt him, the pure joy vanished from the memories featuring his twin. Every younger twin’s portrait inside Fred’s mind turned into one of him crying a few weeks ago.

He’s promised himself lately he won’t let the feeling interfere with their relationship, but it seemed that the feeling was not letting Fred interfere with their relationship. He looked over his shoulder, George was doing way better than him.

“Remember to focus, Luna,” Potter gave her a piece of advice as everybody watched the Ravenclaw girl cast a patronus. A white hare appeared and jumped around making everybody gasp and then disappeared into thin air right in front of George. Somehow everybody looked at the younger twin, Potter included. It was pretty much visible the twins were doing the worst today. They hadn’t been particularly good before, but it wouldn’t draw anybody’s attention, Fred and George just weren’t fond of learning. But patronus is something associated with fun and happiness, so what was wrong?

“George, now your turn,” Harry encouraged him and the boy prepped himself, giving Fred a quick glance at those amber eyes.

_Finally, after a few days full of fighting with pieces of wood they would borrow from Percy’s magical wood sample collection, the first Trick Wand was ready. The twins’ pale faces gleamed with sweat and satisfaction, blushed. The thing was lying on their all scrapped bureau, perfectly sculpted by their little hands. They barely became eleven meaning couldn’t use magic outside the school, all needed to be done by hand. The room was full of wood scraps and a few fingers were cut. The rough dust covered the floor around the desk and Molly won’t be glad about it, and the twins weren’t glad about the cleaning process. A candle was almost all burned out now, additionally covering the surface with wax. George’s eyes were puffy and stung. Arthur’s charmed chisel was tossed aside, still glowing slightly._

_“Wanna put it on the kitchen table or we better wait for Christmas Day?” the younger one asked, rubbing his eyes rapidly. Fred’s exhausted shoulders shrugged as he nipped the skin on his hand. His too big sweater fell onto his arm, exposing his collarbone. George heard the girls talking about the visible collarbones, but in contrast to them, Fred’s ones were as delicate as the freckles on his neck. It wasn’t anything harsh about them, just the bones shyly poking out his thin skin. It looked particularly good in summer when the twins would often go to the lake nearby the Burrow._

_Something theirs. Just theirs. Not with Molly’s or Bill’s help. Not with Percy’s garbage advice. Their own thing. Their first very own private thing._

_“I think I have a chip got into my hand,” Fred said annoyed, waking George up from his daydreaming. The younger one took his hand in his ones carefully not to hurt him. We need to get it out, they communicated soundlessly. Fred sat on the chair as George leaned on the desk to have a closer look by the candle’s light. The chunk of wood wasn’t big, but it must have been hurtful. He reached his hand inside his pocket to unwrap the cookies left from dinner and used the tissue to avoid the blood from staining the surface. He could feel his twin gaping at him, but he didn’t mind it. He liked the fact of being in the centre of Fred’s attention. He liked being in anyone’s centre of attention. This is what made the twins._

_“I’m proud that weenies like us can make something as fine as that,” Fred said observing his twin squeezing the wood stuck in his skin, “I have plenty of ideas for another ones,” he continued clenching his jaw, as George was moving the chip under his skin._

_“Nose biting...” Fred wondered out loud, “Teacup?” George ended his sentence. The older twin nodded. The day had already declined and they listened to the occupants of the Burrow preparing themselves to sleep. “And how about bombastic...” he came up with an idea and George had already known what he meant. “Bomb?” he ended the sentence in very ironically typical way of his._

_George kept on keeping Fred’s mind busy as the chip was now more shallow than before. He did his best to make his twin forget about the pain. He was gently pressing the chip to make it come out of his twin’s delicate skin. The older twin’s hands were particularly soft._

_“Maybe we could sell these,” Fred started, bobbing his head to the side to try to get rid of the neck pain he’s been suffering since the dinner. His sweater has become comfier than before as he used all his force not to fall asleep. George raised his eyebrows playfully, “Why? You wanna rip-off Ron of the few sickles he gets on his birthday?”_

_They laughed for a bit, then got quiet as the chip was almost out. It seemed balmily almost to feel the younger twin taking care of Fred’s hand. Nobody would do it as carefully and gently as George was doing. Sometimes the older twin was feeling as if his brother is making the process longer to touch him. It warmed his heart someone was caring for him that deeply. George frowned, his forehead wrinkled as he was focusing on the skin._

_“I want to sell it to buy whatever you like,” Fred blurted out shyly, pretending the sheets on his bed to be the most interesting thing he has ever seen. And for some unknown reason, George jumped up slightly at this confession, taking the wooden chip out unexpectedly. Fred wheezed in sudden pain, but couldn’t look away from George pressing the tissue to his hand. The younger one looked at his twin’s face and wondered if it is normal to have someone willing to do everything to make him at least not sad._

_“Thank you, mate. I felt like a damsel in distress.”_

_George bit his cheek not to blush, throwing the tissue into the bin. It is me who should thank you._

“ _Expecto Patronum_!” George’s voice echoed in The Room of Requirement making everybody _gasp._ A full-size _hyena_ appeared at the end of his wand making him freeze. It showed abilities of its’ jaw for a while, fooling around its’ creator. It was larger than an usual dog and seemed warm. George swore he could smell the amber around him. The dim light showed its’ patterning and round ears. The creature snapped the teeth as everybody observed it going around the room until it encircled Fred and disappeared into thin air just before the older twin’s face. The younger twin seemed not to register the information in his brain. His mind was prepared to see a coyote again, as always. Smaller than any wolf and with bigger ears than it.

George stood where he was standing before, unable to move. _A hyena. Where did George’s coyote go? Where it was? Since when his patronus was a hyena? It was Fred’s one._ Why? Suddenly the air got heavy and it was hard to breathe. He did his best to collect his thoughts together, but it seemed impossible. He felt shy though nobody’s known what were the twins’ patronuses, it was an invasion on his privacy. He felt exposed as if he has done something terribly wrong. Fred’s eyes were piercing through him and he squeezed his wand inside his palm. He swore he could hear his own heart pounding inside his chest. An unfamiliar feeling kind of creeping, but he couldn’t do anything.

From the corner of his big eye, he noticed most of the students going back to their exercises, but Ginny balked, her mouth open. _Please don’t say anything about it,_ he begged her in his thoughts, but forgot she couldn’t get them unlike Fred. His knees went wobbly and his lungs stone-like. What was going on? He was so confused it was almost unbearable. But how was he supposed to ask about it?

“But George, your patronus is a _coyote_.”

Ginny’a voice rang in his ears and he wanted to sink into the floor. George turned around to her, noticing Fred getting closer to him. The twins looked each other in the eyes, _shocked._ They’ve just reunited, if this was going to mess up something between them again, he didn’t know what he was about to do. Fred’s eyes were asking him something and he could see a glimmer in them, something unfamiliar. Hermione squinted her eyes, suspiciously looking around. She frowned and swept the fringe away from her eyes.

“That’s impossible! One’s patronus change only in particular situations such as a deep romantic interest or death of someone dear.”

Now everybody was looking at him and he wanted to steal Potter’s _Invisible Jacket_. As much as he loved bringing joy to others by being a fool, he was hating it now. What has gone in him to cast Fred’s patronus? Was he totally mad or just upset about their argument a few weeks ago? Thousands of thoughts were going through his mind and his twin was just observing him. He could feel Fred’s eyes going around his face. It felt as if somebody else than Fred saw him naked. It was just something not meant for anyone’s eyes.

Harry fixed his glasses, then asked, “Fred, could you cast a patronus?”, but Fred’s body didn’t seem to hear his sentence, deeply drawn in his twin. _Could it be? Or it was just kind of coincidence? It was impossible, wasn’t it?_ The light was making a way through his chest and he was _a fool enough_ to let it happen. For the first time in weeks he felt it was worth all the pain he gained. An insurance George was still deeply caring over him. What else could it be? It meant he forgave him the things he had said before. Fred couldn’t sleep lately, thinking about making his twin cry. He felt terrible, blamed himself. Relief now was stronger than he would ever imagine.

“Gred?” George asked, brushing his hand against his twin’s one carefully. Fred’s eyes scanned the room, but apparently most of the students were losing their attention, trying to cast their patronuses and go to the dormitory.

The sudden small flow of happiness insured Fred he was able to make a patronus now. He felt light as a feather, the feeling familiar to the one of his twin waking him up on Christmas Day. He wriggled the wand in his hand.

_“Wait for me, you cinnamon cake-hole,” Fred called his twin, taking his t-shirt off. The air tickled his thin chest and his hands began to unzip his jeans. George was laughing, sweeping his wet, red hair back. The water swilled his lean arms as he kept on making faces at Fred. The water must have been freezing as the boy was watching him shake. Then, the older twin tossed his underwear aside, on top of George’s pile of clothes. Didn’t matter as they never paid attention, which pants were whose._

_“Hurry and take off your clothes,” George laughed, unaware how might it sound in other circumstances. Someone would think they’re crazy, but why should they care? They’ve been bathing together for a few years of their lives and changing together. There wasn’t anything more natural than the twins seeing each other naked._

_Fred stepped into the shallow water, its’ coldness twisting his ankles. George laughed at him, with a hand inside his ear to pour the water out. The fifteen minutes older boy stood there, naked like a baby, in front of his twin, feeling as good as never. He did not have any shame of his naked crotch. It seemed normal to do so. George dived in, making the water surface uneven._

_Fred slowly went into the water and he began to get used to its’ temperature. The sun heated his hair and there was the wind on his shoulders gently blowing on his little hairs. George didn’t surface and the older twin was getting nervous. Although the water didn’t allow him to plunge in, he was ready to jump right into it. The water was a bit muddy, so the younger twin was nowhere to be seen. Fred’s eyes scanned the bottom, but all he could see was his own reflection. His heart skipped a beat as he started to go deeper into the water, cold waves sweeping his hips._

_“Georgie!” he called, but no one answered. The tears came up to his eyes as he started to splash the water around to have a better access to the bed. The panic made all his joints stiff, but he refused to stay standing like that. He couldn’t breath and..._

_Something pulled on his ankles, making him fall, his hot back hitting freezing water’s surface. He cursed as his fifteen year old body was violently pushed into the cool water he hasn’t adjusted to. He felt as if his bones were going to crack and his muscles hurt. A pair of hands was pinning him down to the sand. He could feel a shell stabbing the back of his neck. Fred opened his eyes underwater carefully to see George’s smiling face. The bubbles were escaping his nose as he wriggled his eyebrows. A seaweed was stuck on his forehead, faking a monobrow. They kept on looking at each other for a brief moment, their bodies even paler in the blueish light, the water murky. His lungs started to burn as he was running out of the air. George shyly started to trace his brother’s chest, eventually putting oysters on it. They felt rough on his skin, but he didn’t mind it._

_The older twin blushed at the fact the younger one pinned him down, completely naked. It wasn’t a rare view, but it seemed different. They were identical, so that felt as looking in the mirror. The only difference was a mole on Fred’s crotch. They knew it wasn’t normal. Something forbidden about it, but they didn’t know what. The older one rolled his eyes, pushing George out of the water to the standing position. They gasped, choking on the air. Fred lost his balance and his twin held his sides to help him restore it. It felt so fine to be touched by George’s wet hands. He could spend whole afternoon on George touching his back with his silky hands._

_“You git!” he cuffed his twin’s long thigh. George was choking on laughter, but there were signs of tears in the older one’s eyes. Fred didn’t say anything more, playing offended. He couldn’t be mad at his twin for long, but it did really scare the shit out of him._

_“Oh, Freddie-boy. Don’t be mad,” George said remorsefully, pulling the other boy close as their hips bumped. George’s skin was still not even if he stayed in the cold water. He felt his younger twin tugging His hair behind the ear._   
_Then, he could feel the water get warmer. And it for sure wasn’t the matter or temperature._

_“Wait,” he started confusedly moving the warm water with his thigh,”Did you pee?” George shook his head. “Did you?” he choked out smiling widely. Fred shook his head as well. The younger one swept his hair back again and it looked particularly good for some unknown reason. He couldn’t look away._

_“Freddie, we both know there are two groups of people. The one who pee into the water and the one who lie,” George smiled brightly showing all of his white, even teeth._

_And Fred farted making the bubbles appear in the water._

“ _Expecto Patronum!”_ Fred casted the spell, his voice trembling subtly. He hadn’t thought it out. Instead of failing the spell, he casted it perfectly, the patronus corporeal more than everybody else’s. A three feet long coyote appeared out of the tip of his wand. He froze, his mouth opening then closing a few times. He shouldn’t be surprised, though. He knew it was gonna turn out like that. He knew the feeling has become strong enough to make it happen. It scared him even more now. He never heard of someone getting their old patronus back as they lose their interest in the person. Perhaps it was due to the fact the person was their true love.

Fred didn’t know why. Why some magic made him long for George when he couldn’t get him it all. He couldn’t buy him anything he wanted. He couldn’t make him safe and he was hurting him continuously instead of letting him be free. The joy slightly burned down, he was scared of his twin caring for him. It will someday hurt them both badly. What an older brother he was?

The coyote jumped around and George’s eyes went round as two galleons. It seemed to behave more aggressive than his twin’s one. If there was any of the Order’s members, it could be clear. But now, everybody else seemed _unimpressed_ , perhaps it was just an another twins’ joke after all. Ginny looked confused, but the twins were nearly sure she couldn’t tell them apart even if they were her brothers. If Molly couldn’t, then Ginny all the less.

_Why on earth did their patronuses switch?_

What could it be? Fred couldn’t help it, but laughed out loud in a nervous manner. How ridiculous it all was? From the corner of his eye, he saw George getting it. His younger twin soon approached Ginny and tried to give her a five. “Well, hello, my name is George Weasley”.  
She swatted his hand, giggling loudly. “I wasn’t born yesterday, Fred,” she replied. Potter smiled at her warmly then helped her cast her patronus, while George approached his twin again. It was a good thing their uniform initials looked pretty small. Everybody moved on minding their own business as the twins were the only ones looking at each other.

“Fred? You did that on purpose?” the younger twin asked quietly, shuffling his shoe against the stone floor. The older one gulped and looked away at Dean Thomas frowning upon his wand. Fred slowly shook his head, chewing on his lip. George’s hands began to play with his wand, tracing the wooden object with nails.

“It is because we’re twins, isn’t it? Maybe twins work differently,” the older one said, but he thought _twins my ass_ the same time. He knew perfectly it was not about the fact they were twins, but what was with George’s patronus?

They focused on practicing some protection spells other than _Expecto Patronum_ for no particular reason at all. Both of them couldn’t stop thinking about it, though. After a few quarters, Potter casted a small glimmer so that everybody would pay attention. The room was louder than before, students chattering about the things they’re gonna do during break and patronuses flying around.

“Okay, that’s all for today. Remember to keep practicing throughout the free time. _Merry Christmas you guys_!” he said smiling absently looking at someone in the crowd. One didn’t have to be a genius to find out it was Cho Chang who was he looking at. The people were walking out the room as Collin Creevey was on the watch. They wished the same to Harry patting his back.

George’s eyebrows wiggled gesturing Harry and Fred grabbed his forearm to go to Potter together. The twins felt closer now, the walls building their distance tumbling down. Their hearts pounded and their hands were shaking, but it didn’t matter. It’s going to be Christmas now and they can rest at home, safe. The Room of Requirement was almost empty now as everybody headed to sleep. The twins were the last to leave beside a few others.

“Ago, Harry. We’ve been thinking...,”Fred started knowing George was waiting for him to start the sentence so that he could end it. The brunet was fixing his hair and apparently pretending to listen.

“...On putting some _Puking Pastilles_ into Umbridge’s tea,” George ended as expected, making a funny face. Potter however, wasn’t really interested, swinging from side to side to see someone behind the twins’ backs. It annoyed them, but they didn’t wanna start a fight. They could, though. Making their products seriously wasn’t taking a single evening. A lot of tests to make sure nobody will die and preparing a lot just in case. Cho peeked through the door, waiting for Harry to come. Her raven hair shone in the already dark room. The twins rolled their amber eyes, but to be honest, they wanted Potter to go already.

“Excuse me, guys,” he said, pushing George to the side, walking out the room. _What a guy_ , the twins thought at once. They realized soon they were alone in the room and it felt almost like at home. Although Lee was often out, it didn’t make it easier to suddenly share a room with someone more than a twin. They couldn’t be talking and behaving as they would alone. Fred could hear George sighing. They didn’t have to talk, comfortable with the silence once in a lifetime.

The room was dark and the candles were all out. The atmosphere was pleasurable, though, maintaining private as they knew nobody was going to suddenly walk in. Out of nowhere, something started making quiet sounds. One by one, delicate noises filled the air shyly, but yet to be heard clearly. They were starting sharp while ending with kind of echo.

_Like a bite, sting at first, but then pain is disappearing slowly in time._

It was not intrusive, for a couple of seconds they thought it were their ears ringing uncontrollably. Fred started to carefully walk toward the source of the not so strange sounds. He knew he must have heard it before. He noticed the object is covered in dusty cloth. How come nobody had seen it before? How come it started playing just now?

“What is it?” George asked curiously, bobbing his head to see the thing Fred was approaching better. The object was more than four feet tall, charmed to do the work on its own. It seemed old and experienced, the melody vintage. _A harp_ , the older twin thought instantly. A very similar to the one at Grimmauld Place 12. It all hit him suddenly.

_The harp. The night. Ginny crying in that bathroom. The mirror. The surprise. The fear. The anger. The nudity. The sensuality. Getting to know with his own body. Its’ excitement. Its’ need. Feeling like crying. Hopelessness. The sleepless week. Lupin’s advice. Playing with Fred’s heart. Touching George’s vulnerable body. Looking in secret at George. George, George, George._

When animals are born, they scream at the top of their lungs as exposed to the cold air for the first time. It seems when feelings are born, the harp plays quietly in the background. Slowly, gently almost as if introducing itself. That night, Fred’s body remained silent, but the tears going down his cheek sounded as delicate as harp, playing him to sleep. It was the moment when the boy fell asleep and the inner animal woke up, being born. Suddenly, violently, but yet quiet and somehow beautiful.

Fred was swimming in his thoughts so deeply he didn’t notice George standing behind his back. Not until his hand was touched by his twin he did realize his presence. The irony was, the twins were never apart. Younger twin’s hand grabbed his one and he let him do it. It felt warm and soft. _I’m here, with you._ The identical one, the same shape and size fitting each other perfectly, he squeezed back. Their fight seemed not to exist anymore, just the two of them. If that was that George wanted, Fred had no other choice than to obey.

“Freddie?” George said as he noticed a mistletoe forming above their redheads. Fred turned around slowly, pretending to scratch his eyes when in reality a single tear formed. The older one gasped as the green shoots were growing, charmed. He has never seen a mistletoe appearing magically. It was the only thing that mum would go to the park and collect herself. It’s mistletoe, George said soundless and Fred nodded. The ceiling was low there so the mistletoe crept on the twins’ heads, tickling their hair. It was getting darker as the castle outside was falling asleep. They stood now face to face, trying to notice the smallest details of their faces in the dark light of the room. Fred could smell George’s sweet scent and it was driving him crazy. He used all his force not to do anything he would regret. He could’ve feel in the bottom of his heart that George was acting the same. He feared doing something foolish as he did all the past weeks. The dignity filled the stuffy air, as both of them were too busy with each other’s face.

“ _How you do kiss_?” he asked almost inaudible, sure at the same time George’s heard it perfectly. His throat went dry as a piece of parchment and he traced his lips with his tongue discreetly. If the world was going to end just now, Fred didn’t mind it. If he could choose his last memory, it would be it, being with his twin here, listening to the harp playing silent music. He did not hear the instrument anymore, though, his heart going crazy and his own heartbeat filling his ears.

_Fred knew it was an end._

He knew he was not holding back anymore. Not after all the time he’s been blaming himself for not doing anything bad at all. Not after today’s insurance about George’s feelings. The inner animal was not coyote or hyena like, way more dangerous than any living magical or non-magical creature. It was a domestic one running away from the loving owner or a wild one not fearing human. Something that never happened. George moved closer, didn’t know why, he just obeyed his body without any resistance.

Fred leaned in slowly, swallowing his heart with his breath. It was going to be something he could die to get, but he focused on his brother’s face. The younger twin was observing him quietly, his eyes going from Fred’s eyes to his pink lips. His trembling hand traced his twin’s warm forearm, caressing the pale skin. George did not moved, either scared to do so or utterly surprised. Fred bobbed his head to the side feeling a shiver going down his spine so that he could avoid the nose collision he made all those years ago. He could feel George inhale forcefully through his nose, then exhale, and the sweet scent hit Fred’s nose.

_The harp stopped playing as suddenly as it started._


	11. Silencio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes a pretty long chapter. Enjoy!

Fred’s scent embraced him and he had no idea what was going to, but he wanted it anyway. He didn’t exactly liked that or not, he simply _needed it._ Maybe he was too afraid of doing something, but it felt like he has been a man lost in the middle of desert. Fred’s become his water, oxygen, cinnamon and magic. It seemed possible that anything could be replaced with Frederick Weasley. His body wanted his older twin the same way Ginny was crying for Potter into Dean’s shoulder and Harry would pretend it was raining. The harp stopped making sounds and it was better now, allowed to use his brain even in the slightest way. He felt as if his kidney told him from inside of Fred’s body, _look, I make him healthy and good_. And George knew it was the best decision of his life to give his twin the kidney he didn’t need.

_If it was all one big dream, then let Fred sleep so that he would never wake George up again, not tonight._

Fred exhaled with warm air and the room suddenly became hot as their tiny space at the Burrow. His whole body burned and he was feeling his knees melting as if he was a wax candle. His heart was doing its best as his shaky breath was audible in the stuffy air. They kept looking at their worn shoes, and the younger twin did his best not to let any embarrassing sound out. His intimacy-hungry brain was ready to start producing hormones as dad would always tell them about muggle bodies. George wasn’t stupid, he knew his body didn’t need any hormones to work, the only thing he needed was...

Fred jumped up as somebody would touch him with an ember. George quickly looked up to see Katie Bell standing in the doorway, casting _Lumos_. Fred quickly turned around, backing, but his younger twin just wouldn’t move. He gazed at Katie and it was the same look Molly would give if somebody mentioned Percy. The denial mixed with blank mind one. If she did not disturb them, what would happen? Would they kiss? Like kiss kiss, on the mouth? Kisses weren’t always romantic ones, right? He saw two Slytherin twin sisters kissing each other on the cheek. Wasn’t it the same?

“Hi, have you seen my Potions book, guys?” she asked and George felt a knot tying in his throat. For the second time this evening, he felt exposed to the bones and wanted to run away from everybody and hide in their room at the Burrow. He shoved his hands inside his pockets forcefully. “No,” he heard himself grunting, his low voice almost growling with tension. If George Weasley was a firework, he would be the one nobody expects even to work, but it happens to blow in the person’s face. Fred raised his eyebrows as he was the one to start the chit-chat usually and George was the one to end his sentence. Since when his younger twin was doing the talking all by himself?

“I think Alicia took it back to your room,” Fred responded and it pissed George off. Can’t he see she interrupted them and just answers her questions as genuinely slow as If nothing happened? He paid attention to the girl, she was wearing her uniform while her hair was a mess, tangled and tied up here and there with some black bobby-pins. Even though she was practically talking with Fred right now, her eyes were bored into him. Apparently, the older twin noticed it as he shuffled his feet aimlessly against the floor, then smiled stiltedly at Katie who grinned back, unaware it was a fake one. George knew. George knew Fred’s body better than anyone else will ever do. The older twin nodded and proceeded to walk away, he looked hurt as hell and the younger twin won’t ever forget about it. Seeing his twin psychically hurt in the Ministry during the Apparition Exam was better somehow knowing that he can help him and give Fred part of himself. How was he supposed to make his twin feel better now, when the wound was not visible? _How?_

_To surf, what does it mean, dad?_   
_To ride a wave with a piece of wooden board. How come any muggle can tame a wild savage ocean?_   
_There are some forces even magic cannot tame, George._   
_The wave is unexpected and the surfer knows there’s no way out._

George used to think the twins were two fireworks or some other joke products they’ve invented, but somehow, they were the water. Calm yet still waters run deep, don’t they? His head kept spinning and he thought it’s all Fred’s fault. So much has happened today and the twins so close and then apart. Thanks to him Fred lived, but at the same time the older twin’s hot breath was hurting George. Katie tugged her brown hair behind her ear and she visibly blushed, he didn’t pay any attention to it. The twins never crossed anybody’s way apart from the jokes really. They didn’t have time and willingness to do so, it was pointless.

The twins sucked at making true friends and he finally understood it. If you have someone who is your other half, then how are you supposed to get to know each other with somebody anew? He bit his lip until he felt his tooth cut into the thin skin, why now?

“George?” she asked him no question and he looked at her face with his eyebrows furrowed. _Yeah?_ , his face’s expression said and it was meant to discourage her from any further talk, but it wasn’t effective at all. Thanks to the twins’ height, apparently she wasn’t able to see what were they doing as Fred’s broad shoulders had forbid her from that. He tried to make himself think some nice stuff about her, but none of them seemed to move him at all. On the other hand, every Fred’s breath was making him feel like _Felix Felicis_ going down his throat, almost like drinking hot, pure gold.

“ _I like you, George_ ,” she confessed quickly, her breath shaky and he imagined Fred saying it. It was shameful, nasty and bad, but he knew Fred would be _his_ no matter hot or cold. He closed his eyes for a while, listening to her loud inhaling. Thoughts were going through his head and divided themselves into two groups.

One of them asked if they can pretend nothing’s happened and she never really confessed. Or was friends with him. Or existed at all. The second one was telling him that he doesn’t want this. He has never liked something or someone more than he does like Fred.

“For how long?” he asked and she gazed at him with hope. Her eyes were shining and he thought for a brief moment whether Lee or anybody else would add the love potion to her tea. She looked at her shoes timidly, “For almost seven years,” and his eyes went round. That’s a lot. _That’s damn a lot._ How come he had never noticed it before?

_“It’s weird,” Fred said, his fringe even on his forehead, but he automatically brushed it away, backwards. George was standing on his left and Percy was babysitting them from across the room. They were eleven, for Merlin’s sake. They knew how to keep themselves in grip. They were totally independent, nobody necessary to make them eat the dinner. Furthermore, it wasn’t their fault the slytherin boy tripped on their shoes, Percy had to finally dump his love for drama. The room was much bigger than their one at home, it didn’t have the big window nor the slanted walls. It seemed richer and more elegant than it should. After all, a room was for fooling around not for watching the wallpaper. Yet, the twins didn’t belong here. They felt alien and wanted to go back._

_“Don’t touch anything more than needed, better not even breathe too much. Don’t you try to steal and sell somebody’s personal belongings,” Percy instructed them wiggling his finger in the air. He wore his robe, which was totally brand new as he became the prefect. His queening it over them leveled-up._

_“Well, we haven’t thought on our own business, but thank you for the idea, Percy!” Fred said throwing his trunk under the bed smoothly. The older boy rolled his eyes holding the bridge of his nose the same time. Why must he be the older brother to look after the twins? He had a lot of studying this year and those two are just unpredictable._

_“Well, I knew everything was gonna be maroon as they said, but it reminds me of the sporting house Charlie and Bill would talk about, the one to stem the rose in,” Fred said shamelessly making Percy’s face look like one of the beds he was standing next to, deep crimson. Percy shook his head as if it could help getting rid of the blush on his cheeks. He was older, for Merlin’s sake! The twins smiled at each other, it was blissful to be able to embarrass Percy._

_“It’s warm in here,” George said with a grin, pulling the black velvet robe over his head. The sweater underneath went up along with the shirt, exposing the boy’s lean stomach and his nipples. Fred whistled wriggling his eyebrows, “Woah, man, some really got into the character._

_The jokes didn’t feel as comfortable as at home, though. None of their stuff was here except some knitted sweaters and jumpers. None of their garbage and nobody they really knew. The younger twin could feel his twin’s gaze on himself, but who wouldn’t look at person undressing in front of you, duh? “Ayo, give him some privacy,” Fred said, pushing Percy out of the dull room. The older boy obeyed, not wanting to let the twins gape on his red face, he was a man now._

_The older twin pushed the door and chuckled when it shut itself so forcefully the dust fell on the floor. It was wooden on the room’s side, warmer. Almost home-like if it was relevant to assume anything at all seemed home-like in here. George approached Fred to take his hand as an act of comfort and intimacy. I’m here, his gesture said. Fred brought his forehead to his twin’s one._

_“I’m glad I’m here with you,” he said seriously, his young voice echoed in the four-bed room. Fred caressed his hand with the thumb and the coziness embraced George. He then looked up to study his brother’s features. Hilariously, they were almost the same so what was to study there?_

_“After you were sorted into Gryffindor I was scared for a while that the Sorting Hat will make me end up in Slytherin,” Fred confessed, his pale cheeks turned red as his amber eyes traced the stone bricks on the walls. Both of them knew perfectly how their whole family hated people from Slytherin, what’s worse, it meant being apart from George. The twins would need to break even more rules than they were prepare to. And it would be barely an ending of their beginning. Molly would kill Fred only to be proud all of her children are in Gryffindor. George made a funny face, then squeezed Fred’s hand tighter._

_He let out a chuckling breath and said, “Freddie, even if I were in the Gryffindor and you in the Slytherin, I wouldn’t let go of your hand.”_

He couldn’t imagined holding hands and trying to kiss with someone else. The people were living and dating and the twins were together, observing them. The twins’ love life didn’t exist and they both knew it there was gonna be a day when all the fun goes away and it’ll be formed. Yet once in a time when George would remember it, he would try to convince himself it was too fast and they still have time. It was terrifying that their own bodies were gonna betray them.

_Nothing could stop us two and it was enough. I didn’t need to imagine anybody in front of myself. Did you?_

“I’m sorry,” George said, gulping. It was sad and nobody had to say it out loud. To be honest, he was genuinely sorry. He always felt sorry for the innocent and it was stopping Fred, whenever the younger twin would talk it out, the older showed his soft side. The younger twin had a philosophy saying unless you want somebody for real, you don’t come their way. He thought Katie was a little naive and annoying sometimes, but he liked her as a friend. But nothing more, he couldn’t make himself think about her kissing him and vice versa. She looked at him as the disappointment made its way through her face. Her brown eyes started tearing and he felt guilty, so his arm raised to wipe the tears away. She didn’t try to hug her face into his hand though, Katie was studying his features as if he was gonna disappear any second. The true was, Bell has never been as outgoing as Angelina, they’ll probably see each other less. George wished they both would forget about it and the next day Katie is going to wake up and think about somebody else.

“I like somebody else,” he added softly not wanting her to go over it. It was clear enough, but George did not like rejecting anybody he liked. It just seemed unfair and he always was a little sympathetic. Katie stared blankly at his chest wrapped in a shirt and the sweater, which made his uniform. She even forced herself to make a fake smile to ensure him she was going to be fine. What if Fred would think it was George who confessed? Will he be disappointed? She didn’t do anything wrong, she didn’t deserve this. Katie’s warm hand grabbed his and he let her do that. She squeezed it and he squeezed it back. “Do I know her?” she asked on the verge of tears making it harder for George. The room suddenly seemed huge without his twin by his side. Usually the twins made decisions mutually, making one all by himself wasn’t easy.

“You don’t,” he responded letting her hand go. It was true, she didn’t know Fred. Nobody knew the boy who always wanted to nuzzle his face into clean t-shirt when sleeping. Nobody knew the boy who would always get a splinter in his hand just thinking about the wood. Nobody knew Fred who asked George to practice kissing with him. Nobody knew the dimple appearing on his left cheek and the little scar on his eyebrow. Nobody thought that the twins were able to cry. All they knew was a façade the twins used to feel _safe._

_When they were laughing endlessly so that nobody knew what they were thinking and their true feelings were safe deep inside them. Nobody could hurt them._

“I can wait as long as you will want me to,” she whispered and his heart squished itself for a brief moment. She was willing to sacrifice herself just for him holding her hand and kiss her. Katie freaking Bell was ready to sit patiently and watch him date somebody else until they’d break up. Madness. She started trembling a little and he realized the room was getting colder now. He hesitated for a moment, but eventually pulled her into a warm hug and she pushed her nose into his sweater almost in _Fred’s way_. The sensation of someone falling head over heels in love with him was strangely satisfying. He didn’t like liking it at all.

“ _I’m sorry,_ ” he said again, his intestines burning. His neck hurt and he was still wondering about the patronuses. Somebody’s feeling was wasting and it was all his fault. He wasn’t like other boys. Rarely anybody would be interested in them twins for real. The fact of them both looking the same was apparently turning most of the girls off. He couldn’t forget Lupin saying _Don’t let this feeling waste_ at the King’s Cross Station. It would have been better if somebody just poured some _Amortentia_ into his tea so that he didn’t have to question his own preferences.

“Why are you both doing this? Fred told Angelina the same. Why are you not letting him be? _He deserves it. You deserve someone you can be happy with too._ ”

Katie’s words seemed to include some kind of spell because apparently it made his knees go weak and the surprise overtook him.  
George didn’t know if he deserved someone he could be happy with, but he was certain that this person was actually going back to their bedroom. People used to think the twins needed a sweetheart, someone to date. They were all wrong, they needed only each other. He felt stupid he didn’t believe Fred when he would tell him he and Angelina were just friends. Now he had the confirmation and felt even dumber. How could he not believe his own twin? If Fred said so, then it must be.

“We’re fine.”

And he suggested walking Katie back to their dorm giving her his warm sweater filled with his scent.

***

 _Chagrin_ , his eyes counted the stars charmed on the ceiling continuously when he lied on his back, half of his face hidden underneath the red velvet sheets. He didn’t dare to look to the left at sleeping Fred, the fear of getting caught overtook him. He felt disappointment choking him slowly as if the invisible hands were pressing him into the mattress. He couldn’t stop thinking about Fred leaning in to kiss him. _Merlin,_ he was so handsome. _Kiss him, kiss George Weasley_. He didn’t bother going and washing himself so he was now laying in the bed dressed, maybe a little sweaty. He noticed something when he came back with Katie. He didn’t know what to think about it.

Fred had been already waiting for him, sitting on his bed, making some notes about brand new fireworks he designed. When he approached him to ask how was his twin, he spotted a white t-shirt tucked underneath the pillow. The white hem caught his attention and he stared at it until Fred looked up at him and pushed the fabric farther under the pillow, not a word escaping his pink mouth.

He almost made himself forget about it, but remembered that the twins’ pyjamas included black sweatpants and t-shirts. Fred’s gray and George’s white. _What_? He blinked as if it could affect his thinking process. He made himself slightly turn around on the cold part of his pillow to inspect Fred’s pyjamas. The boy was laying on his side, his back towards George. The younger’s twin eyes squinted when his eyes finally got used to the darkness and the fabric occurred to be gray. The stars on the illuminated sky has been pretty light, he has never paid attention before. To think about it, he hadn’t changed his clothes to pyjamas so his t-shirt could possibly remain under Fred’s pillow.

_But why would he sleep with a piece of clothing George wore? The majority of their clothes was identical._

Whatever the reason was, the almost kiss was more important. _The kiss, the kiss, the kiss. Fred’s face against his. Fred’s lips on his. Just as a sign of care and brotherhood, it was perfect_. His head plopped back onto the pillow and Fred moved in his sleep, his sheets swishing in the night’s silence. George felt exhausted, but he probably has never experienced so much during just one day. Fred’d casted a whole lot better coyote than its owner. Then they almost kissed and then Katie confessed to him. Did Fred know about her crush on him? If yes, why wouldn’t he tell anything? George would tell him right away if someone caught his attention, but it was extremely unlikely something like this ever happened. But to be honest, he had never heard of another twins’ patronus mechanisms, why would anybody care? He heard from Charlie that Nymphadora Tonks’ patronus changed into Lupin’s one, but she was clearly in love with him. And did not have a twin.

If the twins could use each other’s wand, it was pretty possible the same went with their patronuses. If Fred couldn’t find his pyjama t-shirt why couldn’t he just ask him for one? Why did he push it back? His eyes burn and his head was pulsing mercilessly so he let his eyelids close themselves.

_He found himself standing on the edge of the Great Hall, but something was suspicious there. The decrees on the thick stone-brick wall disappeared, the whole wall next to the entrance was gone as George opened his big amber eyes. It was already getting dark as he had deducted when looking at the cracked stained glass. After a few seconds of dangling his hands to get rid of dust in the air, he realized he was completely alone. No one was there as the younger twin looked carefully through the debris, searching for anybody at all. He noticed he cannot hear a sound as if somebody toss a clothing on his head. Something seemed awfully not right, but the most important, where was Fred? He tried to call him, but not a sound escaped his numb lips. The panic overwhelmed him as he began to run around looking for his twin, but he was nowhere to be seen._

_Freddie, please don’t leave me._

_George felt a tear slicking on his cheek, it was terrifying. He decided to take out his wand, but his pockets seemed sealed. “Fuck,” he swore under his breath, trying to open the pocket of his jeans. The zipper was gone, but he could feel it underneath his long fingers. Anywhere he looked, he saw something badly damaged or non existing already. What happened? Where is everybody? Frederick? Fred? Gred? Freddie? Twin? Mate?_

_Love?_

_He then saw a big hurricane behind the stained glass and his eyes opened widely, as he proceeded to crouch behind what must have once been the door. The wind was hideous and the trees in the forest were bending as if made of clay. Pieces of walls and stone bricks were flying around, one of them enough to knock him out. He tried to shout “Freddie, please! ”, but his voice choked in his clenched throat. His knees were paralyzed and unable to move._

_Am I gonna die here and now? Alone?_

_Who was going to hold his hand? Where was Fred who was supposed to kiss his forehead and say it’s gonna be fine even if it won’t? What had George done so wrong and terrible to be going through this? Even if they’ve done some cruel jokes, they were meant only for fun! He rejected Katie Bell in a nice way and gave her his sweater. Maybe the bad thing was he wouldn’t let Fred go?_

_Then, he felt as if struck by a lightning and he lost all his senses for a few seconds as well as his breath. He banged his own chest, but it won’t help. He kept blinking until he saw a thin layer of magical stripe in the air. It was as thin as a water and as light as the sun, containing the glitter-like molecules. When the stripes occurred, the chaos around him stopped for a moment. Everything still seemed destroyed and messy, but calmer enough to let him stand up on his feet._

_He followed the golden plume of magic pendant in the air through the frame that used to be a huge door to the Great Hall. Debris was almost everywhere and George found it hard to walk on, the pieces crunching underneath his feet. Someone cried loudly and it seemed awfully familiar. The wooden benches were all broken, tossed to the side, the fire smoldered on one of them. Yet somehow George’s clothes were clean and he seemed to apparate here a few moments ago._

_Being inseparable was what made the twins and it was a curse of theirs, he realized then._

_The candles above his redhead were out now, dully hanging in the air, never to be lighten up again. If Fred doesn’t show up in a couple of minutes, then George will turn himself into one of them and observe the world continuously from this day forth. He then saw dad. He fucking saw Arthur Weasley standing before a collapsed wall, crying loudly with his head thrown back. The younger twin’s heart squished itself as his throat went dry seeing his father crying. He had never seen him crying before, not even when uncle Bilius passed away. He approached his father, his legs wooden and wobbly, and there’s no way ever in the world he would be ever prepared for the things he saw next._

_Out of the pile of debris and stones, stuck out a bunch of red, silky hair. The beautifully ginger ones unlike rubescent the other family members had. George coughed, unable to breathe. The sudden white noise filled his ears as Arthur’s loud crying stopped embracing his head. The younger twin felt his throat choking him before he could even let his eyes pass the information to his brain. From the corner of his eye, he saw swollen Bill crying into inner part of his elbow. Fleur’s head rested on his shoulder as the tears were streaming on her pale face._

_They’ll never talk again._   
_They’ll never joke again._   
_Fred will never embrace him in his sleep again._   
_Nobody will start the sentence George could finish. Why they cared about everything, when they could have each other all the time? Nothing was never meant to stop the two of them._   
_He will never tell Fred how he loves him and they will never kiss even brotherly._

_His knees said “We finished,” and he fell to the floor, his bony legs panging against the cold bricks and debris. Some glass cut his leg open._

_“Freddie! Wake up! It’s our birthday!” George hollered at the top of his lungs, battering the floor with his hands, pieces of the wood and glass impaling his knuckles. Fred’s been saying these to him every year. Every year. And there won’t be another birthday for Freddie. The blood stained his tuxedo, but he didn’t want it. He will take Fred’s one and wear it for the rest of his life. If he was right, it may have been their birthday as he didn’t know the date._

_George hadn’t been there to hold his hand, he hadn’t been there to say he loved him and kiss his lips tenderly. Freddie passed away alone, unlike he was born. Maybe even before they were born, George was there. There!_

_Here you are, Freddie, stealing the show. Who cares about Potter? Who cares about fucking Voldemort or Hogwarts? You stole the show, but the curtain covered you. Now I have to buy a ticket to a regular theatre, cause nobody will ever make me laugh._

_“Freddie, please, it’s me!” he cried, choking on his own tears. Arthur approached him, seeing his bleeding hands, and tried to pull him up, but George wouldn’t force his body to do anything more than hurt itself so his mind could forget about the pain for a second._

_Freddie is going to be put into a coffin and lowered under the ground. Fred is going to be a lifeless corpse rotting in the dirt, while he will be living knowing about it! His Freddie, the one who would defend him. There will be no Freddie anymore. They won’t be twins anymore. He will be the remaining brother nobody wants to look at. Who did this? Who they are? And who were the twins to even think they can make it out alive. Fred’s been his curse, biting a piece of George with each hug. And now there was no George! Freddie took it! Took him all!_

_“George, stand up,” Arthur let out shakily, his nose runny and his arms trembling. George whined, pushing his father’s hands away. His heart broke into pieces and they all seemed to escape his body and crawl to Fred, whom they belonged to._

_“You don’t understand, he’s mine!” he screamed, squinting his eyes forcefully. Bill walked up to them to help Arthur pull George up. But the younger twin’s body seemed paralyzed, limbless. They didn’t know it, they didn’t know it. They got nothing on me! Bill put George’s arm over his neck so that he was supporting his younger brother’s weight._

_“I was such a bad father, I made him study and try hard when he could just be free and open his shop. He’d be so happy,” Arthur confessed over his son’s dead body, allowing the tears to wet his clothes. “No dad, you were not, you wanted only good,” Bill protested, his nose plunged. George let out a quiet cry and put his head onto Bill’s shoulder._

_“He’s better now, nothing will hurt him again. The wall collapsed that quickly he couldn’t suffer at all,” Bill said and George moaned loudly, when his dehydrated body processed to make more tears, drying his throat. If the twins hadn’t agreed on being in the Order, then nothing would ever happen! They were just two boys, for fuck’s sake. None of them felt as Harry Potter’s suicidal knight. If Potter wanted it, then why wouldn’t he fight with the Death Eaters himself?_

_What about me? Who will care and defend me? We a pair, one cannot just die!_

_“One muggle-born once told me they believe swans only sing once before dying. He was so beautiful, my son.” His father was right, indeed Fred was the most beautiful person on the Earth. His hair silk-like, moved even with the slightest blow of the air. His eyes more valuable than the gold as the sun used to decline in them. His legs long and elegant even in usual jeans, all worn out. Swans weren’t that beautiful, couldn’t hold a candle to his twin!_

_“Then I’ll never sing!” George hollered loudly, throwing father’s hand off himself. If it was over, he will be gone one day without any singing at all. The tears were gliding on his eyelids, so he blinked to get rid of them._

“Mr Weasley, it’s alright,” McGonagall said, gazing at him from up above. She held a handkerchief and his face was wet. The sadness pushed George into the mattress as his body was uncomfortable lying in the bed all dressed up in everyday clothes instead of his pyjamas. He let out a shaky breath before trying to wake up rapidly and get up before two pairs of hands knocked him back to the mattress. He choked on his own spit, before blinking again to see his beloved twin’s perfectly chiseled face. Fred was terrified and he felt it. They were in the pyjamas and George realized how weird it must look to sleep in his clothes. Fred was probably asleep before he would go to the bathroom to take a phantom shower, which meant looking at himself in the mirror and thinking.

“Georgie, it was only a dream,” Fred said anxiously as if not sure of his own words, and George knew it, but it felt so awfully real and could happen for real. As soon as they graduate or not, George will quit the Order of the fucking Phoenix along with Fred. There was no way they’re going to put themselves at risk. His twin brought him close, resting his weight on the mattress and the younger one felt _calmer_. Even if it wasn’t real, it could happen any second, especially after last attack.

“What are you doing here?” he asked McGonagall knowing how impolite it sounded, but he didn’t care. He almost had a heart attack and was trembling. The image of Molly threatening him with her skillet flashed through his mind, but he didn’t paid closer attention to it. Fred caressed his forehead and it seemed to give him an opportunity to steady his heart rate. It must have been middle of the night as the room was lighted only with a candle in the professor’s hand. He looked around, the maroon curtains separating them from Jordan were blocking his view. Due to Lee’s insomnia, the dark-skinned boy had to drink sleeping draughts and _Silencio_ his bed area. He probably had no idea what was happening, caged in his dreams safely. It was fine, he wouldn’t be mixed-up in their business.

“George,” she said this time and he thought that what goes around comes around, “I’m sorry dear, but your father is in St. Mungo Hospital,” she finished heavy with her hand on his arm. The reality of the dream doomed him again to feel his face going pale and hot the same time. His eyes went dry as well as his throat and he couldn’t say a thing.

“Don’t worry, mate. He’s buttered, but will fly soon,” Fred joked shyly making him feel a bit better. It was only a dream, but it hurt him to imagine such things. Fred meant everything to him. George used his hand to get rid of the remaining tears. He was a fool to cry in front of them even in his sleep. He felt a blush creeping onto his cheeks as he tossed the sheets away to the side. He cared for his father, he really really did. How hurt father could compare to losing your half forever? It was cruel to say it. If he was there, it meant he was alive. If he was alive, then he was probably quite well.

“What happened?” George asked tiredly, his hand squeezed his stomach, he hadn’t eaten anything for his dinner and it showed now. It must have been around midnight now. Fred’s face was quite insecure and George almost already knew it was the Order stuff. Anger slowly made its way through his brain as he clenched his teeth. _Fucking Potter and his problems. Why can’t we just be left alone?_ McGonagall swallowed nervously and shrieked, “Dumbledore will tell you everything. Let’s go to fetch Ginny, Harry and Ron before going to his office,” she said offering George her hand, when had she become so _unladylike?_ Fred’s one hand supported him and the other threw a dressing-gown over his shoulders.

***

“You’re trying to convince me it is a coincidence that me, my father and my twin are hurt all the time?” Fred’s voice echoed at the same time his fists panged against the old wooden bureau. Dumbledore hasn’t moved yet, calmly observing the older twin’s sourness. Ron was standing against the wall while Ginny sat in the armchair next to the fireplace. Potter stood there awed, his arm supported by McGonagall.

“These are very serious accusations, Mr Weasley,” the elder man said, detangling a few hairs of his beard. Fred’s eyes opened even more as the candle light danced on his amber irises. _Accusations?_ Did he think they had imagined the guy in the bathroom? Mrs Pomfrey saw him herself. Fred sighed loudly and George patted Ginny’s back while Ron rested his back against an old bookshelf, exhaling. “You must understand me, Frederick, but you along with George has done many waggish things and I cannot let myself do whatever you want me to do,” he added with his aged voice. Fred didn’t trust him, no. There was no way wizard as gifted as Dumbledore himself couldn’t tell if some boy was lying or not. So what was the reason?

“I once overheard you were making bets upon the _Hungarian Horntail_ during the _Triwizard Tournament_ and saying Ginny forced you to do it,” he said and Ginny stood up saying, “What?” but George pushed her shoulders into the armchair again. She frowned, but obediently bored her eyes into the younger twin playing with his hands. She quickly understood it wasn’t time to mess around, their father in serious trouble. George could tell McGonagall was fighting with the need to edify Fred to speak respectfully to older people, but unlike her strict nature, she chose to stay quiet.

“Be honest, doesn’t it sound ridiculous even for us?” George answered himself more than asking, but that made Fred turn around to look him in the eyes. The older twin knew it right away. Nobody was ever going to run the things unless the twins would. „At first, I could easily tell if any of you was playing with me, but now I must admit I’m a fool, Fred.” The room fell silent for a brief moment of Dumbledore gazing at Fred’s annoyed yet worried at the same time face and Ron jigging in his place. When it came to an issue, nobody could understand the older twin better than the younger one.

The twins never thought on it. Someday the amount of their jokes will make nobody trust them at all except for themselves. But it was obvious as a day after a night that quitting jokes now won’t make them any more trustworthy.

“Every single time I tell you something, you say you’ll take care of it. But you never do anything!” Fred exhaled through his teeth as Ron gulped loudly. George couldn’t bring himself together, but it was clear to everyone Fred’s never been that angry before. He swished his hand so forcefully that it blew the candle out.

“I’m doing as much as I can, Mr Weasley,” Dumbledore raised his hand up to calm the boy, but Fred wasn’t any less angry than before. George approached the bureau to put his hand on Fred’s shoulder. Mostly to assure himself his twin was still standing here, safe and sound. He was worrying about dad, for sure. But Arthur Weasley was a strong man that raised seven children and Frederick Weasley was just a boy hurt too many times.

“You telling me that spending days in your office makes any difference? Me and George almost got abducted and my father almost got killed! You’re telling me that you’re taking care of it?” Fred hollered, his hand flashing through his puffy eyes. George’s hand squeezed his shoulder and he felt a doze of power going down his calfs. He was thinking about the minutes under the mistletoe as he could feel the disgust creeping down his own throat. He was telling Dumbledore what to do when he was not any better. Potter shuffled on his feet, not wanting to meddle with the Weasleys’ business so far, observing the scene. It pissed the twins off. They’ve had enough of Potter and his heroism, they were the jokesters not the knights on white horses.

“Look at us, look at Georgie! He’s all skin and bones and I feel like shit. Every single night we both have strange nightmares and have you done anything to help us with it? I’ve almost spent one month in the Hospital Wing,” Fred exaggerated before he was able to catch Georgie coming out his mouth and bite his tongue. After a few seconds and Ginny gasping behind his back, he understood he didn’t say anything wrong. _If someone was playing with the twins as if with a wand, then Fred will stick the wand in their ass._

“I want the best for my students.” Dumbledore said and it sounded genuine. He clasped his wrinkled hands together, then a hint of understanding smile crept on his face. _There is nothing to grin about_ , Fred thought instantly.

“Then let us see our father.”

“It’s dangerous to leave the castle now. You should stay here where you are safe and wait for the Order’s members to take you to the Grimmauld Place 12 in the right time,” the headmaster replied and Fred was going to burst out any second. His family was in danger and he was meant to sit casually and wait like a damsel in distress. Frederick Weasley was not a damsel. To be honest, he always felt as the white, _well red_ , horse. The one made fun of but the same time necessary. Without it, the knight wouldn’t be there. If the twins weren’t formed, Potter didn’t get the Marauders Map and without it, nothing would happen at all.

Fred could have slept through all _History of Magic_ lessons and he would know Dumbledore as one of the most powerful wizards of all time anyway. And this man was telling him to wait. To wait until every member of his family is attacked and barely breathing as dad.

 _To see George on the floor, hurt, begging for help_.

“I don’t have time for this, I really really don’t. I give a fuck about it, my father almost died!” he shouted feeling his voice get hoarse and throat sore. Then, out of sudden, Potter spoke and it drilled Fred’s feet to the cold floor underneath his night shoes.

“Fred, it isn’t professor’s fault,” the Chosen One finally blurted out, all sweaty and shaky. Fred turned around with George, killing Harry with his eyes. That was it, any word the boy would say everybody was heels over him. Any word the twins would say was a meaningless piece of garbage. How cruel it was? Potter only family, Sirius, was really experienced wizard who knew how to handle himself. All Fred’s family except for Bill maybe were almost defenseless. It was mean, but true. The older twin knew he was thought to be the stupidest of the family, but he would remember one thing.

_Barbie does Barbie things, Percy._

Fred was going to show them what happens if somebody tries to put the Barbie box into the bin.

“You better not interfere with my family things. Mind your own business,” he said proudly, barely recognizing himself. He felt like Percy a little, but pushed the thought in the further part of his mind. He had the right to be angry and nervous. He hoped nobody would tell he was angry about something else. He was the man defending his brothers and sister.

“I just want to protect my family am I asking for too much? I don’t care it is dangerous, take us there!”

George patted Fred’s back to comfort him as much as he could, but so many things had been cumulating in his older twin’s mind he knew he was not gonna embrace it. The minutes we’re passing by, for Merlin’s sake.

“Who’s there? In St. Mungo?” Fred choked out, putting his hands onto the surface of bureau again, the knuckles turning white. If he was going to stay in Hogwarts for another second, he will go mad and George was going to visit him there. _Oh, George._ There was no time for their stuff right now.

“Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Molly and William Weasley,” the painting of Phineas who had just come back from his portait at Grimmauld Place 12 said. Fred was grateful, he nodded at the painting and the old man nodded back.

“Then we will go, let’s not waste any time,” Ron said, the dim light bouncing on his face. He stood up straight, holding Ginny’s shoulder who stood up as well. McGonagall was busy with her own thoughts, Potter biting his lip after hearing Sirius’ name.

“No, it is better for Ron and Ginny to stay with the others at Grimmauld Place 12, me and Fred would go to the St. Mungo.” George said to Dumbledore, ignoring his little brother. Ron rolled his eyes.

Dumbledore nodded, observing Fred’s determined face with curiosity.

“Minerva, could you keep the Weasleys company until Sirius shows up to collect them?” Albus asked the professor and she mouthed Yes, her lips sealed together. Fred was in a rush, he had some business to be done, couldn’t wait until Black will mercifully apparate here. McGonagall sat down, looking at her knees while Ginny moved to make her some space. “The blackened kettle over there is a portkey, I’m sure you know how to use it,”

Ron sat on the old coffee table making it squeak under his weight by the Potter’s side. “Why we need to wait for Sirius to help us touch a kettle?” the youngest Weasley asked, but nobody answered him.

Fred knew he should thank Harry for his message, but it didn’t matter really. The older twin owed it to the people who went there first to save his father. Dumbledore went upstairs probably to talk to the other portraits and it was the twins’ chance. Fred leaned towards George’s shoulder.

“Let’s go,” he whispered barely audible noticing a shiver going down his twin’s back. George looked him in the eyes and Fred found it highly attractive. Something in these amber eyes, he knew better than his own ones, was telling him to just give in and trust the other. His heart was telling him to go and Fred’s brain existence was doubtful anyway.

George offered him his warm, familiar hand.

***

After a long way through the reception area full of sick wizards, the twins have finally reached the staircase leading to the wards. Meantime, a snake attached to man’s head hissed at George and a woman whose hand was trapped in a cauldron almost knocked Fred off his feet by swinging the small cast-iron thing in the air. There were so many people Fred and George needed to hold each other’s hand all the time. Not that any of them complained about it, though. The fat blonde told them to go on the first floor where the _Dangerous_ Dai Llewellyn Ward for Serious Bites was. _Dangerous, huh? Someplace suitable for us then, don’t you think Fred? Yeah_ , the older twin would respond. However, she told them not to hope to enter it due to their father’s grave state. They could always wait outside, they told her. The twins were wearing their pyjamas making it all look even more ridiculous. Hope they won’t get put into beds as escapers from the hospital soon.

The staircase was dim-lighted and pretty narrow and suitable for the skinny twins. They were jumping two stairs at once, desperate to see their father before Sirius or Remus come here to take them back. The door to the ward was white with a non-transparent glass in the upper part. _Dangerous Dai Llewellyn Ward for Serious Bites,_ it said. It was rather small as the lady in reception said, but patients here were in the baddest shape, she would add. The twins knocked and waited patiently, unlike themselves. A middle-aged man appeared to them, some gray hairs sticking out his thick, black beard. He smiled briefly before asking, “Hippocrates Smethwyck, hi, how can I help you?”

“We’re looking for our father,” Fred started and George felt sane again. Finally, there was someone to start the sentence he will be ending. His heart rushed suddenly as the older twin embraced his waist. He leaned to the touch, feeling his cheeks go hot. “...Arthur Weasley,” George finished, blushing. The healer smiled, then gestured them to go in.

“I suspected you were looking for him. We have a lot of redhaired people here today,” the short man said honestly, looking up at the twins who followed him. They walked through a narrow corridor much different than the one on the fourth floor of _Janus Thickey Ward of Spell Damage_. The glowing bubbles were on the ceiling, obviously, but Fred wouldn’t be able to straighten his arms there freely.

“How is he?” George asked, concerned while Fred grabbed his hand and caressed his palm with his thumb. Hippocrates sighed, adjusting his glasses, “I won’t charm you, he had one foot in the grave when he got here,” he swallowed, “But he received the first treatment. I tried stitches, do you know what is it?” he asked turning left, bumping into a young healer who said _sorry_.

Both twins nodded, the stitches weren’t as good as the healing draughts, but did their job in sewing the body together. Fred still had a scar on the one side of his back due to the Apparition Exam accident. To think of the way they’ve been behaving then, he felt shame. They finally reached the door, but the healer had something to say, exhaling loudly when resting his hand against the scrapped door.

“Trust me, it is not as bad as it may seem. By the time of the midnight, I will have prepared the antidote I’ve been working on.” Hippocrates said, pressing the handle with his hand. The smell of healing potions and clean sheets embraced them and they tightened the grip of their hands. George remembered all the scents and stepped into the room faintly.

They quickly scanned the room to notice Arthur lying on the bed, his hands intertwined on his stomach, on the sheets as he swung his head slowly in the rhythm of some kind of muggle music seeping through an old radio on the nightstand. Bill was facing the window at the time they entered the room so he had to turn around to see them, he gave them a sympathetic-looking smile. Then, he curtained the small window, letting their eyes rest for a bit. They all looked tired as hell.

“ _We can patch it up together..._ ,” the muggle lady on the radio sang loudly, jamming everybody and everything. The twins smiled gently, at least something was on its place.

“My twins,” Molly stood up from uncomfortable looking old wooden chair to give them a bone-crushing hug. Her arms were shaking, but yet still she managed to choke the breath out off them for a few seconds. Her sudden grip made the twins’ foreheads bump almost, but they just smiled at each other. Fred felt George’s hip poking his waist. How thin he has become. They noticed Bill picking up Molly’s pouch from the floor and placing it on the nightstand. The Weasley mother’s eyes were puffy and red, but she kept on looking at her twins in their pyjamas. Well, to be honest, George had usual clothes underneath his bathroom-robe.

“Hello, boys,” Arthur smiled weakly, his face bruised and a huge bandage under his left eye, which he could barely open. Hippocrates was right, he looked like he came back from the death. The twins gulped, looking at each other. They’ve seen mum in the hospital giving birth. They’ve seen burnt Charlie and they’ve seen dead uncle Bilius on his funeral.  
They’ve even seen petrified Ginny and hurt Ron. _But never dad, the man they somehow looked up to. The man that wouldn’t stop his interest in the muggle world even if the others weren’t appreciating it. The same went with the twins’ jokes._

“How are you feeling, dad?” the twins asked at the same time while Molly circled the bed to adjust her husband’s pillow. “Bitten by a love bug,” the father of seven looked up to his wife with affection showing. “Oh, come on, are you becoming the triplets now?” Molly cut him off, her hand flashing through his forehead to check its temperature. Everybody laughed, but somehow it wasn’t funny to Fred and George.  
Someone else with them. Between them. Above them. They didn’t like it one bit.

“ _Chiquitita, you and I know_...,” the radio obscured Molly’s complaints and they could feel it was driving her crazy. Fred wondered where the hell they’ve found a muggle radio in wizard hospital. Most gladly, she would throw it out the window right now. At this point, the twins realized it must have been jamming for at least an hour.

“Where are Ginny and Ron?” their father asked, his fingers still intertwined on his stomach, but they noticed Molly did the same, her painted yet scrapped fingernails contrasting her sweater. George’s face grimaced, gazing at Fred’s meaningfully, _is she praying for the song to end or what?_

“By now, Sirius should have escorted them to Grimmauld Place 12,” Fred assured him, embracing George again and Molly smiled about it. Then, the twins realized there were two other patients sentenced to listen to the muggle radio. “ _You will have no time for grieving_...,” the radio jammed and Molly probably imagined her skillet destroying it completely.

“There is no point of them getting here, the healers will throw us out for doing a party,” Bill pointed one hell of the screaming mess with his chin. _We’re sorry, bro_ , the twins gave him a look and he nodded. The room was more spacious than the corridor, but one window and big, empty walls made it look dull. George thought of bringing some of their products here, maybe dad would even like them. To think of that, Molly would do to, as she had the radio to compare. “Bill, sweetheart, could you send Charlie a patronus about it?” she asked her oldest son and he nodded, excusing himself to go out of the room, escaping the loud sounds. _Nice try,_ Fred thought humorously,

“And what about Percy?” Arthur asked, coughing and Molly handed him a cup of water and let him take a sip of it. The twins looked at each other, uh uh. “ _Chiquitita you and I cry.._.”

Molly didn’t even move, sitting straight in the chair she was given. The bubbles on the ceiling were reflected by a single tear on her chubby cheek. She then lowered her head, allowing the red locks to cover her face. Their mother pretended to be folding her handkerchief in the hands. “Molly...,” Arthur said tenderly, cupping her cheek with his swollen, red hand. George quickly got out of Fred’s embrace to hold his mother and the older twin’s heart pricked.

“He sent the sweater back again.” she choked out and Fred felt a tidal wave of his anger begin to overflow a coast of his mind. “Come again,” he asked her to repeat, clenching his fists. If somebody won’t turn the fucking radio off, then he will toss it through the window himself.

“What a fucker,” Fred said through his teeth, catching George’s attention who was drying Molly’s tears. It was the first time since the argument on the Christmas Day Fred would say something bad about Percy. “George, please don’t say that,” her mother asked him and he was so mad he didn’t even notice she mistook them again.

“No, actually he’s kind of right, Molly,” his father defended him and for the first time in weeks Fred felt big. George shook his head at Fred to stop it, but the older one grinned with only one of the corners of his lips. Molly shook her head disapprovingly. She grabbed George’s hand and the older twin couldn’t believe but watch himself being jealous of his own mother touching his very own private twin.

“Oh, Arthur, you know Percy. You know how he likes to play pretend upper echelon.”

“It does not give him a right not to take an interest in health of his own family,” Arthur said bitterly and it showed how hurt he was his own child has been ignoring his state. George nodded internally, brushing his fingers through mum’s hair.

“I know you’re mad with him, but...” Molly looked at her husband the way she used to look at her twin brothers. Arthur prepped himself on the ward bed, uncomfortably scratching the skin underneath his bandages.

“No, Molly, he did wrong and we cannot just let it go,” Arthur went on, turning the radio’s volume down and the twins instantly knew it was _serious._ The muggle singer with deep voice was now almost silent and the room was filled with quiet chats of the patients next-bed and people going left and right outside the room. She shook her head again. “But he’s...”

Then, the door opened and Sirius walked in with his hands on Ron and Ginny’s shoulders. Ginny was still wearing her pink pyjamas and the gray t-shirt was wrinkled on the youngest son’s chest. Black, however, was wearing his worn camel trench coat. Bill closed the door behind the three of them and the room suddenly became as crowded as the Burrow except for Sirius’ black sweaty locks. The other patients seemed surprised to see a dozen of redheads in an hour, but they minded their own business, much to Molly’s gladness. The oldest son looked to be relieved after contacting with Charlie.

“Dad,” Ginny said with teary eyes, grabbing her dad’s hand tenderly, followed by Ron. Sirius apparently didn’t know how to behave, so he just sunk behind the green curtain, pretending the window to be interesting as hell. The twins were okay with it. To be honest, now, when everybody was safe again, the brothers seemed okay with anything.

“Where’s Harry?” Molly asked, putting her handkerchief into her pouch again. Fred frowned his brows. Harry, Harry, Harry. Everybody talked about him all the time. But dad was the one to be hurt and Percy the one to be a dick. It seemed the twins fell into a limbo of being forgotten members of the family. _Fine_. “At Grimmauld Place 12.”

The room was as quiet and busy at the same time as the Lovegood’s beehives. Everybody talking and shuffling their feet against the floor at the same time. Fred grabbed George’s cold hand and proceeded to warm it a little, rubbing his skin. He let the blissful feeling swim against his tired body. Molly was saying some advices to Arthur’s ear, but his hand raised to reach the radio and jam everybody in the room, Fred and George have almost laughed out loud.

“ _There’s no way you can deny it..._ ” the exact same muggle singer sounded again and Fred rolled his eyes. Was the radio screwed up or simply if muggles liked something they would play it again and again all the time?

After a while of taking care and asking about Arthur’s health, the door opened again and Fred questioned himself in his head if they have another forgotten brothers or sisters. The healer, Hippocrates came in and smiled at everybody in the room.

“Wow, I think you’re quite popular, Mr Weasley, but we do not allow parties here. Especially in the middle of the night,” he said sympathetically, but nobody paid closer attention except for the twins. Fred squished George’s hand and dragged him behind himself. “We were leaving anyway,” he smiled briefly before storming out of the room and George raised his eyebrows. He was sure Hippocrates looked around his shoulder at them holding hands, but _he didn’t give a fuck._ Why would he? He was just some random guy they won’t ever meet again.

“No, I don’t want to sleep. The potions are keeping me up,” the twins heard their father arguing with the healer as Molly hollered, “Potions? Potions! I bet the muggle singer is keeping you up!” Then, the radio was loud and quiet at the same time and Bill was trying to do something apparently, but the twins couldn’t tell what.

Fred let go of his twin’s hand, resting his hand against the wall. George grimaced, but bumped the same wall with his shoulder. He raised his brows, but Fred wouldn’t say anything either way. The corridor was empty as Hogwarts in July, but he wouldn’t care anyway. It must have been around three in the morning now, as his eyes weighed a tone. “What’s wrong?” George asked and the air filled itself with some kind of tension. Not the angry type of tension or stress. The chemical if it was relevant to assume. Fred’s eyes went round, Why?

“ _Chiquitita, tell me the truth_...” the radio seemed to resurrect, the St. Mungo was becoming the Weasleys’ very private party.

“Well, you were the loudest to get here and now what, just walking out like that?” George asked leaning towards him. The younger one’s scent rimmed Fred’s nose as he felt the warmth going down and cumulating in his loins, _Stop it_. The older one sighed, then rested his back against the wall and let his knees bend and his body slide down the surface. Yeah, dad was alright and anybody else was, but the thing between twins was difficult to deal with.

“You won’t understand,” he whispered annoyed, his hand going fast through his tangled hair, trying to get rid of George’s scent in his nose-trills. George squatted next to him, resting his warm now hand on his knee. He purposely moved his leg to throw the hand off it to avoid further embarrassment. “Me won’t understand? Then who?” George looked him in the eyes and he saw it. _I need you by my side, so let me hold you close,_ the amber eyes identical as his said.

“I’m so tired of being in this family and the Order. I’m tired of being a checker in Potter’s game. Nobody cares until one of us is barely alive.”

George understood it, he got it more than Fred’s ever suspected. He wanted to fight for Fred to be safe, but they were just checkers. The least important ones, the ones to dump easily if needed. He sat down next to his older brother, letting his head rest onto Fred’s shoulder. He inhaled his twin’s scent slowly, closing his eyes the same time. No medical scent could ever overcome sweet scent of amber and a tang of sandal wood. “Then let’s not be the Weasleys anymore. Even for a short while.”

“But we’re their sons.”

“So let’s move to a place where we can be nobody’s sons.” George said meaning exactly what Fred was suspecting, You and me only. Fred cupped George’s cheek after checking if anybody was coming to see it. The corridor’s narrowness was suddenly cozy as the twins hugged into one another. “Let’s go to buy Zonko’s shop tomorrow.”

And Fred didn’t need to say anything more, he wanted it as well.

“I love you, George,” he said that quiet the younger twin wondered if he has said it at all. Or was it only his imagination? He cupped Fred’s cheek carefully, listening to the smallest sounds of human feet. Even though their father was hurt and they were in the hospital and even though Katie Bell had interrupted their kiss, the twins couldn’t feel better now.

“If money is Malfoy’s anthem, then please let me be your fortune anthem,” George joked, but he had no idea it was what Fred’s been needing for a long time. The older one’s arms wrapped themselves around the younger’s waist as he buried his face into George’s crook of neck. “Well, the music is already playing,” he added playfully as his twin connected their foreheads and looked at him cutely. George laughed, his teeth gleaming so close to the twin’s face.

His twin was truly an anthem as his heart began to race as if it was playing drums inside his chest. It will all be good someday when he would be waking up with George.

_“You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end...”_


	12. Reparo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going through a lot right now, but I hope the two-for-one chapter will reward you it being late. Take care of you!🌹🌸🌺

The twins stood alone in front of the Leaky Cauldron, looking around the empty street. It was freezing and they stood in their pyjamas, George gave Fred his nightgown. During summer it had seemed much safer than now. They didn’t want to go to Grimmauld Place 12 for the rest of the Christmas time. They told Molly they want a few galleons to rent a room and finish their business the next day. She had squinted her dark eyes, but gave them three galleons from her pouch, her other hand holding sleeping Arthur’s wrist. Before Sirius or Bill would even ask them to go with them, the twins were long gone. Fred and George let the older males take care of Ginny and Ron.

It must have been after three in the night, but the dawn didn’t seem to be coming any soon. It was dead quiet and nobody could be seen, the lights out behind windows. Few snowflakes were falling on top of the cobblestone street and George exhaled loudly, watching the steam go out his lips lit by the street lantern hanging on the scrapped, brick wall. The twins have been going to Diagon Alley every summer and so far it reminded them of lively, loud place where they can buy toys and sweets. How wrong was now to assume the place was the same as back then. Bill promised to go back to St. Mungo in the morning so that he would cover Molly and bring the twins a set of fresh clothes.

Fred coughed into inner part of his elbow so George took his arm, leading him inside. The younger twin pushed the heavy door and the bell rang, tearing the night’s silence. He couldn’t afford getting Fred sick now. The dining hall was empty, the tables neatly cleaned and the lights were on. They noticed Tom sitting behind the bar and reading a book while chewing a piece of pumpkin tarte.

“Hi, _boss,_ ” Fred said smiling at the thought of coming here in his pyjamas. Tom raised his eyebrows at him, giving a cracked smile, “...you again,” he mumbled with his teeth clenched. He shifted, closing the book then walked round to stand in front of the twins. “What...you doing here at this hour?” he asked them quite intelligibly, checking them from heads to toes, raising his non-existing brows when seeing their pyjamas.

“Dad’s at the St. Mungo...” Fred started, proceeding to search for the galleons in his pocket. They were there as they had been tossed, cold to his stiff fingers. “...we gotta stay here for a night. Would you give us a room?” George ended, looking around as if Tom has decided to change anything out there in the meantime when they were gone. Fred looked at him as a wave of warmth went down his spine as fast as Tom’s watery hot chocolate. A room. He remembered the inn well enough to remember that each room contained exactly one double, comfy bed. They would usually stay in the next-door rooms, tossing the things between the two windows.

Tom looked at them, his scrawny hand digging into his pocket, “The room 12 is empty...had a gut feeling...will come at night,” he murmured, taking the certain key off the ring that was almost empty now. For sure, the Christmas must have been a busy time here, the witches and wizards visiting family and buying things for presents. Tom handed the rusty key to George, while taking out the other hand to grab the galleon Fred was ready to give him.

The twins quickly went upstairs, wanting to jump under the warm sheets as fast as they could. George’s ankles were starting to hurt him as the skin on his hands became violet almost, covering slightest of the red freckles on it. Fred casted _Lumos_ and they went through the crooked corridor, the wooden walls as ugly as always and somebody snoring behind them. It felt cozy to hear other people sleeping and knowing Tom was downstairs, guarding the bedrooms so that nobody would storm into and attack them. Not that Tom was talented among the wizardkind, but it still assured the safeness somehow.

Finally, the key cracked in the lock and the twins entered a big room and fire started in the hearth by the moment George’s foot touched old planks on the floor. It felt cozy right here. It didn’t feel home, though. It was too dirty here and, oh Merlin, the twins weren't wearing their slippers and Molly would always holler about them not wearing home-shoe in winter. The bed was big with yellow sheets on top. Next to it, the bed cabinets with lit candles along with an old bureau under the window. The Leaky Cauldron’s chairs were the most uncomfortable ones as Ron said after the twins tied him, _for hours_ , to one of those a few years ago.

“I’m freezing. It’s so much...” Fred started, tossing the key onto the cabinet. “...different than Devon, I know,” George ended, smiling gently at him. In fact, London was much more cooler than Ottery St. Catchpole. Down there, the twins could go out undressed even in late September. The winter was more merciful for sure. Fred bobbed his head, gesturing the bed with his puffy eyes. The puffiness didn’t affect their size, though. They stood like that for a next while, just looking at each other. George was fighting with the desire to throw himself into his twin’s arms.

“Dad’s gonna...” Fred started, swinging on his toes uncomfortably and George crossed his arms over his chest. “...be fine I know.” The both knew it, right away. It didn’t all happen suddenly because of dad.

Everybody will eventually heal except for them.

“How much do you think we will pay for the place?” Fred asked in the tone that suggested hesitation. To be honest, they had taken some of the Potter’s money for the inventions.

“I overheard eight hundred galleons, but I may be wrong,” George answered, sitting on the edge of the soft bed, being careful not to bang his head against its column. “Where are my manners? Ladies first,” he gestured Fred, throwing the sheets away so that one could lie down. The older one snorted, throwing his nightgown off onto the floor. Who cared about the dirty floor? Bill was gonna bring them fresh clothes anyway.

“You wanna sleep?” George asked, still thinking about his last dream as he let the wet nightgown fall to the floor. Fred shook his head, approaching the window to close the curtains, all faded and covered in dust. George rested his back against the bed frame, observing his twin wandering around the room as if searching for something. Then, he shoved his wand inside a chest of drawers. Somebody was snoring loudly behind a wall.

“Georgie?” the older one asked, looking in the old mirror, which stood on the furniture. Huh?, George grunted, hiding his own wand under the pillow made of feathers.

“How come you want to buy the shop already tomorrow morning?” he asked, looking at George’s reflection, sitting across the spacious yet cozy room filled with wooden furnitures, dust and pillows. The younger twin didn’t answer him right away, taking his time to make a proper reply in his mind. The part of his thoughts unusually private, Fred would say.

“I sort of realized how easy it is to lose each other during this time. What if we never open our shop?” George added after a while, exhaling forcefully as if saying the things out loud costed him extra energy.

“Then maybe we would do something else,” Fred noticed, shrugging yet smiling warmly at his twin. _We would if only we could_. George smiled back at him in the dimly lit room. “But we’re made for jokes, that’s our thing. It fits us like mum’s jumper.”

Fred nodded, saying _you’re right_ , yet his mind was occupied with the things he wasn’t proud of. If only George knew what the older twin desired, he wouldn’t be part of the same jumper anymore. The cloth would be cut in a half. And he probably would be free. Without him.

The younger twin has been already lying down by the time Fred went to the bathroom and then back to check if the door was locked securely. The clock on the wall had its hand pointing at four in the morning and George felt awfully worn-out. The older twin blew all the bedside candles before going to bed, making the room almost completely dark because the fireplace provided the dim light only on the other side of their room. Then, he chose to take the right side of the bed, as always.

George moved to the side, his face falling into an old, stinky pillow as Fred’s body made the mattress give way under his weight. The younger twin moved sheets over his brother so that they both were covered up to their necks.  
They lied like that for a while enjoying the warmth, then the older one’s hand found George’s one under the sheets. It was cold, but familiar. His brother squeezed back, rubbing his thumb against his cool skin in the symphony of the fireplace. They were processing the long day inside their minds, leaving most of the questions without any answer. _Who needed answers right now?_

_“Katie confessed to me.”_

A few seconds passed before Fred sighed loudly, feeling his chest go stiff and throat hurt.  
“I know,” he said quietly, staring at the bed’s top. George’s eyes went round and his eyebrows up. It didn’t make any sense, it was way too damn dark. How?, George’s hand squeezed Fred’s one harder. He released it, realizing it must have cause the pain.

“Angelina told me someday that she was going to do so,” he responded, shrugging. The guilt hit the younger one’s chest as he rose on his elbow, making the bed creek. “Why hadn’t you told me?” he asked almost rushed, without any thinking on it. He observed his brother’s reaction, but Fred would only lick his lips, realizing he hasn’t been drinking anything since the evening. “ _For what?”_

“For what?” George repeated disbelievingly, “If you had told me before, I would turn her down even sooner. No need to cause her any pain more,” he told Fred knowing his answer. He hugged his twin, pulling the other boy to a sitting position, throwing the sheets off himself. The older twin was shuddering and apparently thought George wasn’t going to notice it. Fred grabbed the sheets to cover his twin’s naked back as his pyjamas went up, exposing his silky skin.

“I thought if I told you, then you would think about her and finally happen to fall for her. I was one selfish brat back then,” Fred confessed not wanting to. He then hugged George’s back close, leaving no space between them and resting his chin on the shiny hair of his twin. The other twin inhaled the other boy’s scent lovingly. The amber was interrupted by the St. Mungo raw scent, but he didn’t mind. Fred’s back relaxed somehow, the relief flowing down his shoulders.

Even if one of them was going to stop singing someday, they better go open their business and sell their singing to everybody. So many died or had been hurt at least and they were safe enough to be lying like this, embracing each other. George clung even closer to him, tangling their legs together. Fred chest rose unsteadily, but he closed his eyes.

“What would I ever change about you dating someone?” the older boy asked, making the thing in George’s stomach go again. _Don’t ever think like that,_ he thought to his twin inside his mind and he was sure the other understood. Fred couldn’t be that sure though, he knew himself, but it wasn’t often that somebody would fall over heels for his twin. He couldn’t be a problem. Seeing George happy was madness, but somehow he wasn’t able to give it up, he was feeling his heart pumping blood anytime he would imagine his twin’s naked chest.

“When I saw you kissing with Angelina, I thought I was having a heart attack. It was so dumb. We act so dumb,” the younger told him honestly, covering his forehead with his hand shamefully. _Don’t be,_ the older twin rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. The younger one started to melt under his brother’s touch. It made his knees go weak even though he was lying down. He wanted Fred to touch him all over. Even in the places he didn’t remember having. His hair.

“Even if I flirt or joke sometimes doesn’t mean I want anybody,” Fred thought out loud and George added, “Me too.” They were comfortable. It was comfortable they could just talk like that. It didn’t feel shameful anymore to be needy of the other’s warmth. At least the younger twin didn’t care anymore. The dream was reminding him that they could be dead any moment right now and he shouldn’t be thinking _what if_ anymore, but _act._

“We’re truly the lucky ones that escaped the great design just by riding forward,” Fred told George joke-fully pushing his nose into the younger one’s fringe. The room was starting to get hotter every minute as they started to melt into the mattress sleepily. They needed it. They needed to be nobody’s sons. They needed to be themselves even for one night.

“So let’s just ride.”

_I’ve been missing this_ , George’s body said as Fred turned around facing him and held a hand on his shoulder. Almost four months sleeping apart. Even if they were too old for this, he fucking didn’t care. They were two boys forced to be soldiers dying for things they didn’t care about. They didn’t want to care. He suddenly remembered all the times they took dad’s Ford Anglia and ride around the village until Molly would drag them inside the Burrow with her own hands saying one time they won’t make it out alive. It didn’t matter. It all didn’t matter. They could be roasted anytime really. They cannot stop now.

“Mum would always make fun of us, but in the end she will be waiting in line, you say?” George asked ironically into Fred’s chest, closing his tired eyes. True enough, every firework he has ever made, felt like making his own feeling come true and then watching it blow up into million pieces of little sparkles and glimmers felt as if looking Fred into eyes, their garden back in Devon in them. George recently started to make their sweets with special feeling to them, making each one of them unique. Cause they were special. They were invented by Fred and George. They were theirs, unusual. _Theirs_. Seeing his older twin felt like getting presents on Christmas Day or eating cinnamon. He was feeling like a dog whose owner was stretching his hands toward him, welcoming _home._

No one answered him as the older twin’s gentle snore hit his ears. When he opened his eyes again, he noticed Fred laying so close the tips of their noses were almost touching. His brother’s face relaxed and he was sleeping steadily, his chest rising and falling. The sound of the boy heartbeat was calming him down and the fireplace seemed to melt into the rest of the room, could be even non-existing. Fred was here, safe and sound, not on-the-floor lifelessly. Nobody truly wanted bad for the twins. They were the sparkles welcomed by people every New Year, but not belonging to anyone.

He carefully rose on his arms to tug Fred in, covering his back so that he will be warm. And that was when George understood why they were doing this all. Being in the centre of the action will provide him all information needed to protect his twin. Fighting by Potter’s side will make him ride forward when hiding would only guide him sideways where they can find them. Fred was the only thing that was keeping him sane and he must be there for him, no matter hot or cold. Dark or light. Mud or gold. Fred belonged to George and George belonged to Fred.

“Maybe we were born as wizards, but we for sure will die as two muggles panicking by a small fire,” he whispered for no reason, studying the boy’s features. He cupped his cheek and he swore he could feel his twin leaning into his skin. He loved him to the point he could tore the other kidney from his body and give it to his brother so that Fred would be better than everybody.

How come at the very beginning Fred was alone and then, out of nowhere, mum’s body decided to produce one more child, identical one. Was it a mistake? Or a mistake done on purpose? If Fred was his older brother, would their bond end at contacting each other once in a while how Bill and Charlie ended? Or they wouldn’t talk at all? How it must have feel to be on his own, to be a homeless animal in a cardboard box?

He shifted to place a kiss on Fred’s cheek, near his lips. Feeling the soft skin underneath his lips felt as special as he imagined back in the Room of Requirement. The other twin exhaled quietly, his sweet breath enhancing George’s cheek. _I will never let you go the other road. Ever._ He lowered himself so that he fitted into Fred’s chest and the arms automatically went around his shoulders. It was warm and he felt at home, but something in his heart wasn’t allowing him to fall asleep peacefully. As if the older twin’s patronus was waking him up for casting him.

_George closed his eyes and saw himself sitting in Arthur’s Ford Anglia 105E Deluxe seat, hitting one of Devon’s empty road. The sun was shining proudly though it was still cool. There were no other cars, making the twins the only ones out there. It was early in the morning and a bag of plain, salted potato chips was tossed onto the dashboard, a few of them escaped it as Fred maneuvered the car on the corner._

_“Brooms are not the same, huh?” and they both didn’t know who said it._

_Bushes of heather and yellow gorse opening the way in front of them, mid-July forever. George opened the creaking window with a struggle, then the wind blowed inside the car, in their red hair. The heathers turned into a purple smudge somehow. Their blue, summer shirts were flapping on the breeze, exposing their thin forearms. They watched Devon beneath them and eventually Fred told him to feed him a few chips, so he grabbed the bag to do so. Soon, there were no chips left, so George squished the packaging before throwing it through the window. Fred joked about something, pressing the Invisibility Booster as they started to lift themselves up into the sky, the good old Ford obediently raising its front._

_“Well, mate, looks like they will need to look up to us.”_

***

George couldn’t sleep anymore at all. He felt exhausted and Fred’s warm body was embalming, but the sleep wouldn’t come. Only a few minutes naps that did nothing much to help him regenerate his body before making a hell of important decision. He carefully got out of his twin’s embrace, rolling onto the other side of the cold bed. Fred snored lightly, but he was so used to the noise that he wasn’t paying any attention to it. As if it did not exist. He stretched out his arms, sighing loudly, cause he knew his brother was a heavy sleeper. He looked at him, his shirt went up exposing his lean, silk stomach and the muscles appearing on it. His one was just skinny as his whole body. Just skinny, without any muscles at all. When stressed, he tended to feel sick, but nowadays he was restraining himself from throwing up. When he was fragile, he couldn’t protect Fred. None of the people he knew would ever think the twins would be stressed about anything. But sometimes, George could become a living bump of stress. He will need to get in touch with Jordan Lee so that the boy will pack the twins’ things and send them to Fred and George. They would have the products already waiting patiently at the shop.

He couldn’t hold himself back from brushing his brother’s soft hair out of his sculpted face. George wondered if they were going to buy a car someday. They didn’t have a place to go or store it anyway, it didn’t matter. The older twin looked relaxed, much better than yesterday, well today. There they were. Grown-up and running their money. They felt like an old-couple and it was way more comfortable than being it themselves. Nobody would ever take it away from them. The fireplace was out by now, but the moment his eyes flickered open, the thing was beginning to warm the room again as it presumably always did.

_Let’s just ride._

Even if on the other side of cracked window of The Leaky Cauldron there was winter banging its snowy hands against it, the twins were the summer and their money was the good old Ford Anglia 105E Deluxe taking them to the adulthood on its worn tires. It was not important where they will go to, as long as they are going to be together they can live even in Greenland or Yakutia. One won’t let the other fall outside, into winter and they’ll stay inside the car destroyed long time ago. They’re wizards for Merlin’s sake. What was the problem even if they didn’t have a car?

He let his legs touch the cold floor before standing up, for a few seconds blackness showed itself to his eyes, but he shifted his weight into his long lean legs. He crouched to pick up the clothing from the dusty planks. George put his own checked, red nightgown onto his pyjamas and let the twin’s scent embrace him before he’ll go anywhere. He looked over his shoulder to see Fred’s hand tapping around the mattress in his sleep, searching for the source of warmth. The younger twin moved idly to the window, where the snow was sticking onto the surface. It was now seven o’clock, but the twins were up all night. From the place he was standing next to the window he saw roof of the building that kept St. Mungo a secret from muggles. Molly must have spent the night on that uncomfortable chair, holding her husband’s hand. He felt guilty for her going through a lot. Maybe at the end of the day the twins were not angels, but who blamed them? In Devon they hadn’t been ones of them, but in Diagon Alley? They for sure didn’t have the blackest shadows out there.

A woman coming out the Junk Shop caught his attention as a broken wand escaped her paper bag and released a sparkle before falling on top of fresh snow. The twins never really have been there before. After being called names for their worn clothes they kind of have been trying to avoid anything that was second-hand. They usually hung around _Zonko_ or _Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop_ buying Dungbombs and Stink Pellets along with Lee Jordan. When they would joke with the owner, the one with white beard would always tell them all his long way leading to open the shop. To be honest, he didn’t even know what the Junk Shop kept in the dark. Maybe some dusty books Percy was going to die for or some useless wands. Maybe not.

Fred murmured some incoherent words in his sleep, before kicking off the sheets. George’s eyes spent a minute checking if he was okay. Bill will be back with their clothes at least in two hours and there was no way the younger twin was going to politely go back to sleep. Now that’s his dream coming true and he wasn’t feeling like it. The shop was what they were dreaming about, but being together and safe seemed to have become a priority. He would never think he was going to be afraid to look behind himself as he and Fred were going down the street. He approached the bed to pull the sheets up again so that Fred wouldn’t be cold.

“All those years you have been helping me out so many times when I gave you myself only once. I don’t think a part of my floppy body is an appropriate recompense.”

He looked down at his brother’s sleeping face. His dark eyelashes brushed against his pale cheek while his features were relaxed, hugged into the pillow. _Tell me why do I always say yes to you even if I know it’s wrong_? He caressed his hair, paying attention to rosy pigment of his twin’s lips. George’s ones were visibly paler. The mole on his marble neck seemed so beautiful and the younger boy never thought he would find beauty marks that attractive.  
He was afraid to think how bad he truly loved Fred. He liked to think about the warm feeling making his stomach feel funny, but it was dangerous the same time. What if someday his older twin was going to ride away while George was not looking?

_What if Fred would say yes to him?_

The younger twin never had before a thing that would make his knees go weak, the thing impossible to run from. Maybe it was the thing that the Weasley twins were obsessed with freedom, but Fred seemed like a bottle of water on a sunny day welcomingly set on a table outside. Yes, he was thirsty. But what if somebody has left it only for a short while and really needs it? The boy felt his full bladder pressing his abdomen and he needed to go to the bathroom real quick. Since he gave his twin his own kidney, his visits to the bathroom have become much more frequent. He didn’t mind it, though. He would always think of Fred’s blood going through it, making him _healthy. Making him smile everyday, free of pain_. Wished the older twin had been awake when he kissed his silky cheek.

It took him five minutes to find a piece of bent paper and a quill in the bureau’s drawer under the window. He smiled at the memory of the one time when he and Fred would put Tom’s hot chocolate into ink bottles, switching ink and it. They almost choked on laughter hearing Percy hollering behind a wall. That was the time Molly almost killed them when she needed to pay the bill.

_Don’t you worry, Freddo, I’ll be back in ten minutes. Brush your teeth like a good boy you are._

_Your better half_

He folded the piece of paper and placed it on his pillow and went for a pee before going out the light room and the whole Leaky Cauldron. He ran down the stairs, bowing his head at Tom, who was sweeping the dusty floor. He avoided the already cleaned part not to get it dirty again, before storming out through the door. George Weasley was probably getting old.

***

He was now on the open Diagon Alley. Nothing and no one was limiting him from going left or right. There weren’t Molly’s hands to push him forwards or Percy telling him what to do. He didn’t have to run to keep up with Bill and Charlie. He, George Weasley, in his pyjamas, standing out here, free as never. His eyes gleamed gold in the white snow and it was obstructing him people who were watching him. He looked at the two kids going down the street, reminding himself and Fred. He just felt like belonging there. Simply. He was like others, not the one expected to never be sad or unstoppable. Before he proceeded to walk away, he glanced over the Leaky Cauldron cracked windows. Freddie was there, calm, sleeping and George was here. The street all white, the cobblestone hidden with white sheet of snow and ice. It wasn’t slippery though. The Diagon Alley looked almost always the same, hot or cold. Only people were different now, doing quietly their things. Where did the bang and fireworks go?

He was going by the shopfronts, observing the things inside. He stopped for a brief moment to observe people older than him going out the candy shop, holding the chocolates in their arms, laughing at themselves. Were Fred and him going to be able to make their shop great enough to fit in here? Will people buy as much as they did now? Are they truly escaping the Hogwarts’ bubble? Then, the Junk Shop’s windows appeared and he took a look inside. A few people were going around the shelves and the displays. There weren’t many objects, but people were ruffling their hands through them. He touched the inside of his pocket in search for the few sickles of change that Tom gave them yesterday, they were there even though he had gone to sleep and woke up.

He pushed the heavy door, making the bells ring. An old witch bowed her head, saying _hello_ to him and he replied, scratching the side of his face. He could feel most of the people watching him and his pyjamas, but he decided not to give a fuck. If he would ever did, their jokes wouldn’t exist. Their shop would only be a thought in his head. But usually it was Fred who would say _hello_ and now he was sleeping up there. The inside was neat, one could say. Items were put in the baskets, not just tossed anywhere although their were rubbish. He stepped on the wooden floor, making it creak. He saw some brooms without complete brushes or with broken handles. Then, a full complement of broken wand appeared, but he chose to stay away, judging by the sparkles they were releasing all the time. The twins had one philosophy; _Do not come near any jokes that are not yours._ He was battling with his thoughts by the time he found his hand going through the jewelry section. He didn’t know what was pulling him there. It was not Molly’s or Ginny’s birthdays as they were months away. The twins didn’t wear any kind of jewelry. So what was making him go search for something? The cold metals were touching his skin and he saw different colors escaping his big eyes. Every single one of these items belonged to somebody once. A person with their own history and features. For some reason they decided to get rid of it. He remembered Bill’s first girlfriend. She dumped him not very long after he couldn’t afford to buy her a sapphire ring of her choice. It had been the first time he saw Bill tearing around while grabbing the laundry from the basket. It pissed him off so he tossed the sapphire-looking one when he assured himself no one was looking. Finally, some string caught his attention, so he pulled it upwards.

Two twin signet rings were hanging on the thin, cotton string he was holding in-between his lean fingers. They were plain yet had the rectangular gems in the middle. To his surprise, they seemed like made for males. But why would two men wear almost identical rings? One of the gems was an emerald, deep green and the second a sunstone in an orange sunset-like shade. They were pretty to his eye, elegant in their classic. The shape, the glow appeared awfully similar to him, as if a taste once known. He wheeled the green one around to see the engraving on the inner side. He tested its heaviness in his palm.

_The possession of G. Prewett_ , it said.

_“I told you going now won’t do us no good. As if you couldn’t wait for it until tomorrow,” George said, wriggling a bent wire around the key lock. Fred looked around the shed, squinting his eyes at the dark before his face. They should have been already in the bed, sleeping obediently while they parents were having a hard time managing money they had._

_The twins were going through their grounding because of making Ron’s tooth falling out. It was not their fault the bucket appeared by the time Weasley’s youngest son opened the bathroom door, which costed him his tooth in a battle fought with a metal edging. It could be anyone’s, the twins would say. Bold of them them to assume Molly believed them. Arthur ended up taking their brooms away so that they couldn’t fly on them. Flying has been their new interest these days, making the grounding even worse. The shed door was squeaking and the yard was quiet as a mouse. Finally, the lock creaked and the twins without hesitation got inside, taking their brooms, ready to storm out the thing any second._

_“Look,” George pointe the window in the kitchen with his chin where the light appeared. With a blink of his amber eyes, he could see Molly’s silhouette holding a candleholder in her small hand as Arthur followed her inside. Fred realized they could be seen and moved slightly to push the door to close it. The twins got so quiet they couldn’t hear anything. They were so used to each other quiet breathing they couldn’t hear it as well. Through holes in the wooden walls, they observed Molly embracing her round face with both of her hands while the candles were already on the table. Thanks to the non-airtight windows, they could hear their parents speaking. It’s good the shed was on the kitchen window’s side so that they would overhear their talk._

_“Let’s sell Fabian and Gideon’s signet rings...they make no use and Percy will be a prefect and it’s the twins’ first year. You know how much Perce cares about it,” she blurted out with a trouble and the twins could tell she was crying. George’s heart squished itself uncontrollably and he grabbed Fred’s hand. It must have been really bad if mum wanted to sell the remembrances of Fabian and Gideon._

_Arthur shook his head, “No, but I know how much they mean to you. It’s one of the few things left after...after..,” but she would just shook her head and take out her hand to take a piece of paper, “I’m sure the twins are going to use only one set of books anyway,” he added patting her back. Fred looked at George, gulping and the younger twin put his head onto the older’s boy shoulder. They didn’t know what happened. The only thing the twins knew was that the brothers died and they had been too little to remember._

_“No, I want somebody to make use of it instead of keeping it locked in the jewelry box.” Molly walked out the room throwing her hair on her back. Fred’s hand went into George’s hair to give it a ruffle before standing up. Arthur followed her and soon the twins’ parents bedroom was light and the dim silhouettes could be seen. George’s pulled at his twin’s hand and they decided to move. Their eleven years old hands grabbed their new brooms and hid them under the heather shrub before running back to the kitchen’s door._

_“I can’t believe mum wants to sell those rings only to make Percy feel better when queening it over the others,” George whispered barely audibly, while pushing his hand through the space beneath the door’s window. His hand turned the handle and they quietly came inside. The room was empty and cool even though it was end of June. The papers were gone as well as the candles. A bland scent of burned wax was still there, though._

_“Bill and Charlie were the best in their years and they didn’t need a brand new robes each year,” Fred admitted, tripping over Ron’s chair. George remained silent for a few seconds, busy with his thoughts, freezing where he stood. It took the older twin a few seconds to realize he didn’t hear the younger’s breathing anymore. What’s wrong?, Fred looked at him while approaching him._

_“If something ever happened to you, I would never let anybody take any of your things away from me,” George whispered, blushing and Fred put his warm arms around him, surrounding the brother with his scent. The younger leaned to his twin, pushing his nose into the little hairs on Fred’s lean neck._

_“Don’t you worry, Georgie boy. When the day comes, I’ll trick the death.”_

He gulped, clenching his hand around the ring with emerald gem. Molly would sell herself to please Percy and that fucking brat dared to send the sweater she made back. He looked at the price tag attached to the string. _8 sickles each._ It was exactly how much he had if he wasn’t wrong. Molly ready to sell her soul for stupid sixteen sickles. Why it did have to be that way? She never did anything wrong. Even though she liked to be in charge, she loved dad. She loved all her children even such assholes like Percy and the twins. She didn’t deserve it.

He approached the counter and put the rings onto the smooth surface. The old looking witch turned his way and look at his checked pyjamas from underneath her too big glasses that made her eyes huge. She asked him for sixteen sickles and he handed her them, her hand wrinkly. He looked at his own hands, clasped together on his stomach wrapped in the nightgown. He had not thought about this, about the cashier thing. He focused his gaze at the cash till.

“For you and your fiancée?” she smiled, while wrapping the rings in a piece of brown paper. He swallowed his spit, while boring his amber eyes into the packing she was forming. It felt strange but at the same time nice, he didn’t know why. He bit his lip, throwing his head back. The Zonko shop is quite farther, it was not like he ws sentenced to see the woman for the rest of his time in Diagon Alley. His nature won with himself, making him say rubbish as always.

“Thank you, but an _e_ too much,” he smiled while taking the bundle from the counter and going out the shop. He didn’t have to turn his head over his shoulder to see her puzzled face. He stormed out the shop going straight to the Leaky Cauldron, the snow falling on top of his hair and getting the package wet, so he shoved it inside his gown’s pocket. Fred must have woken up and feel alone so he hurried  
himself. It was new to him that he could go wherever he liked and do whatever he fancied.

George felt as light as a feather. He has just got something important back and he hoped Fred will be glad as well. He couldn’t stop thinking about the old cashier. She genuinely thought he was buying it to impress some girl. Or maybe just because he was wearing his pyjamas. It was not like everybody in their pyjamas goes to the Junk Shop to buy something for their significant other. People surrounding him were seeing the same street as him, everybody was going to do their business. And he was one of them, in his pyjamas that were now wet and dirty. He didn’t care, he just walked straight ahead. It was the day their dream was going to come true and nothing could make him sad.

He kept on going by other wizards and witches doing their business until his hand grabbed the inn’s handle to close the door. Then, seeing a pair sitting by the bar and holding their hands, he realized what he had said. A blonde was leaning over the man’s shoulder while eating her cake. Tom was cleaning the table bobbing his head at George. Nobody seemed to notice the pair sitting right there. Cause they were a man and a woman.

What if the lady told somebody and the gossips will reach Fred or Tom who will connect the dots and figure it out? What if they bought the place and somebody would slam inside and hurt them for being perverted? Even though Tom knew them he might still think rudely about them. It was now different from the time they were eleven, none brothers were like that. He felt his eyes get hot and his throat dry. _It is so unfair_ , he thought bitterly. The twins were not doing anything wrong. He couldn’t blame the couple for eating their breakfast in peace. Maybe that was the point. Maybe Fred and George should give peace a chance. But it was _unlike_ them. He hated the thought, he hated the thought of changing themselves just to please others.

Two adult men rent a room with a twin bed.  
They’re in their pyjamas and want to start something on their own. They’ll assumably live together. And one of them has just bought two rings. But what was he truly supposed to do? Apologize for living? For caring about his other half? His literally other half as there was a piece of him living inside Fred? For buying something that’s his family’s? For wanting the best for his own twin?

A small part of him didn’t want to go upstairs and discuss his uncertainties with Fred. Somehow he found himself ashamed to look his twin in the eyes so that made the way upstairs go terribly slow.

_Will there be a day when finally Fred and George ride to their non-existing home after the sun sets and be free?_

***

Bill stopped by the Leaky Cauldron around the noon to drop the twins’ clothes. The boys were eating breakfast at the time. Fred and George were glad he brought their favorite warm woolen turtlenecks and their winter suits. Fred pushed his green one through his neck while the younger twin chose his very own purple one. The clothes had lost the Burrow’s scent, smelling the wash powder house elves were using at Grimmauld Place 12. George didn’t bother to start the talk with Fred, not yet. He couldn’t ruin the day their mutual dream was coming true. He had seen Fred’s face when he had come back from his walk and the other twin holding the paper message in-between his fingers. The older twin didn’t ask anything. He had just pulled George into his arms and let him breathe his scent in. And the younger twin was thankful. They spent the next hour on going to _Gringotts_ and collecting all the money. Their vault contained in nine hundreds twenty two galleons. The rest of Potter’s prize and the ones made on their inventions already spent on the ingredients and components.

And now, they stood on that paved street of Diagon Alley, wearing their trench coats and Fred’s hand searched for George’s one. The wind went through the hairs on their necks, making the twins shiver. Pure admiration could be seen on the older twin’s face when he peeked a look at his brother. They were feeling small although they were the ones with money to spend. They will rule the place. The venue was on the corner of the street, facing _Ollivander’s_ and _Madame Malkin_. The tenement house’s beige walls were down-at-heel a bit, but they hoped they can paint whatever color they wanted.

“This is big,” Fred’s ear heard, when they waited impatiently for the estate agent to show up. They expected Zonko himself to give the shop over to them, but when did they sent an owl, a woman named Poppy owled them back. He squeezed George’s hand in understanding way. “I’m here, there’s nothing to worry about, mate,” he said, embracing his younger twin’s waist.

But George Weasley didn’t feel like there truly was nothing to worry about, remorse was hitting the back of his neck slightly as he inhaled the shampoo Fred used this morning. The forget-me-not hint was hitting his nose and that gave him that weird feeling again. He wanted to kiss his twin. He wanted the business things to be done and the twins left alone at their new place.

Finally on an open road. At the end of the day not pushed anywhere by Molly or anyone else. Not carried by old good Ford that was crashed years ago. Now was now and Anglia 105E Deluxe was only a memory and the wreck inside the Room of Requirement was lifeless, unfamiliar. And the twins were different, not so cut-loose as always.

Once upon a time, when George was younger, he thought that nothing and nobody was truly keeping him there. Living. Caring. Even if someday he happened to be screwed up, why would he care? He was free. And the twins were living for it. And then a non-existing person casted a spell and handcuffs appeared around the twins’ wrists. He didn’t know why and when, but he couldn’t live without Fred. The obsession for freedom was replaced with the thing inside his stomach making him look after his older twin. He feared his brother getting hurt. What then? He would be free again. The twins were the last to be put in a cage.

_Maybe at the end of the day George Weasley didn’t want to be free, but live and be loved by others?_

Maybe if Potter didn’t cross their way they would be as poor as they had been. But they would be free anyway, even if the car didn’t existed anymore they still had their brooms. The twins wanted to bring joy to others, but apparently they kept on forgetting to bring joy to each other sometimes.

_George’s point of view must have went with the old Ford on that road between heathers, cause now freedom meant just being with Fred, doing nothing in particular. In the past, he hadn’t been scared of anything at all. Now, he was terrified of everything to the point he wasn’t able to think calmly about it._

“Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley?” the sound ringed their ears so they turned around, wrenched away from their busy heads. They saw a short, chubby witch going down the street in their direction. She was wearing a coat and skirt, upon which her dark robe was blowing in the wind. Fred saw George biting his lips and his stomach turned turtle at the thought his twins was having any regrets. He released his brother’s hand before she was close enough to notice it. A bunch of parchments was settled tight in her small hand as she fixed her glasses.

Fred reached his hand to shake hers, “Fred...Frederick Weasley,” and the other twin knew already how tough it must have been to use the name he hated. She smiled at him, then turned her head surrounded by blonde locks towards George who introduced himself as well.

“Poppy Wade, pleasure to meet you two,” she was talking fast, her hand went to her glasses to push them upwards the nose again and proceeded to walk towards the entrance. It was closed not a month ago, Zonko’s dwelling in Hogsmeade. She casted a spell and a key ring appeared in the air, ready to be gripped by Poppy’s hand and open a new road for the twins. Fred grabbed his twin’s hand again and when George wriggled it free, he did it again, but this time hid their intertwined fingers underneath his trench coat.

His older twin’s hand was beaming at him, _I’m here, I’m here, safe and sound_ and he watched Poppy turning the big key in the crusty lock. Then, she gestured them to go inside and so the twins did. The interior was not spacious, even though all the products were gone now. The shelves were taking up most of the space and the counter was in the middle of the ground floor. All decorations were took off and the twins found the room weird. It seemed so plain, so raw. Not that they had been imagining the place with all products ready and neatly placed on the shelves, no. A part of the ceiling of ground floor was quite low and if the twins were only a bit taller than 6’3, they would have problems with straightening their backs. But they were not and hopefully they won’t grow ever again. Poppy swung on her heels, throwing her robe on the counter, but the twins did not feel that comfortable. The whole place was empty and in need of being cleaned-up.

“Here is the main room of the shop. More than one thousand feet of all floors. Apart from the apartment of course,” she waved her wand and the lamps located on the walls were turned on. George smiled, nothing has been completed since the very beginning. They looked up at the floors, first, then second, then the third, smallest one. There was a window on the roof, showing the clouds going in the sky lazily. They’ve been there plenty of times, but this was their first time at their place.

George turned his head to look at Fred. For the first time in a long time blush was covering his cheeks and his eyes were looking around _proudly_. The younger twin wanted to kiss him more than before. He had no idea what’s gotten into him. Poppy put the parchments on the counter and called them to go upstairs.

“The stairs will need to be renovated soon, but do not worry, it won’t be that hard to fix them,” she described the place, but her words were not as marvelous as the thought it was going to be Fred and George’s _only._ The dusty windows let the air, but it didn’t make the place less dim than it already was. Finally, after all Poppy’s talk and the twins checking if the banister was real and psychical, they reached the stairhead. The last floor was cozy, the roof window making it less dark than the ones below. The woman stopped in front of the wooden door with golden rapper on it.

“Now, I don’t know if you have considered it, but you can rent the apartment right there and make some extra money. Maybe your personnel?,” she asked, looking George in the eyes. Her red lipstick suited her as well as her white coat and skirt.

“For now we don’t plan to hire anybody...” Fred started, swinging on his heels and digging his hands into his pockets. George nodded approvingly, “...and we decided if we get the place, we live right there.”

The words escaped his mouth and he swallowed. What was this woman going to think? Two decent-looking identical brothers in their best years living alone yet together? She for sure commented on them in her mind. It pissed him off somehow they couldn’t sometimes just live and be left alone for a brief moment. So what they were twins? They cared about each other, didn’t it matter? Her untrimmed brows went up and she nodded, corner of her lips went up, “Of course. It will save you a lot of time and money, won’t it?” The younger twin couldn’t tell if she was making fun of them or not. The twins were used to make fun of themselves all the time, but their relationship was the only topic they avoided for years and today wasn’t different. Together they had everything and wanted nothing.

Poppy opened the door and they came inside their very own private flat. The home furnishings were there already and a stone came off Fred’s chest. The door was facing the velvet, gray couch in a greenish shade. The woven carpet was tossed laxly on the floor, not straight. The living room was pretty average, size about the Burrow’s one. A wooden coat rack was squeezed in the corner near the door and on the left two pairs of doors could be seen. One door was transformed into an arched doorways made of small glass panes. The appartement was much different from the Burrow, cleaner, quieter, neater. Poppy led them to the narrow kitchen that was meant only for two people sitting by the tiny table. The roof window was letting light through. It was much better than anything any Weasley child would ever get, a tenement house all theirs.

“The kitchen is cozy, but the whole appartement is meant for a small family. Such as parents and child,” she gave the twins a once-over. _Can you stop? It’s not your business what we do_ , a thought swirled in George’s redhead. He heard Fred exhaling loudly while opening a cabinet only to close it back. It felt so terribly unfair that the twins couldn’t even buy a place without stupid comments about family. Sure, if he had a choice he would like to have children someday, but for now, he was not interested and that was very unlikely he was going to change his mind. His family was limiting his ways out, he couldn’t feel free to be himself and he was not so sure about making a family of his in future. There are sorrows a family cannot handle. There are some people who don’t belong to a family and he couldn’t stand it. It was none of the twin’s main goal to father a bunch of sons. It wasn’t even important, why would they care right now?

After showing them a rectangular bathroom finished with dark, aesthetically looking tiles, Poppy Wade stopped in the middle of spacious living room to give them a final look, “So it makes whole two rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a living room. Five rooms altogether. Seven hundred for the shop and one hundred for the flat,” she smiled when the twins looked at each other. George was puzzled with his own gut. She was not rude or nosy, but somehow it bothered him she was keeping on saying the parents and children nonsense. “...I let you make the decision alone,” she finished her sentence turning on her toes accoutered in black high heels. Fred opened the door for her with a kind smile and while she thanked him, George bit his thumb. Maybe this was kind of a woman his twin needed, not sassy Angelina, but someone mature who would hold him in check.

The twins were left alone now as Fred opened a drawer to take a peek inside the wooden bureau and the pair of Fabian and Gideon’s signets’ weight was burning a hole inside George’s jeans. He hadn’t told Fred about the rings yet. Not that they were any special, not for the twins. The older twin came cross the fluffy rug to embrace his younger brother.

“What do you think?” George asked, his voice muffled by Fred’s shoulder. The other boy shrugged, exhaling into brother’s neck.

“How much money we will have left? One hundred fifty?” the older one asked and the other twin poking his arm with his chin. They were excited yet scared, their stomaches squeezed. “I don’t want this.”

George froze right where he stood, his heart stretching his ribs out. But getting their own shop was back then only a missing part of the muggle puzzles dad bought them on Christmas. It didn’t matter Ron has almost eaten one piece while crawling underneath the table. Molly had taken the piece out of his pink mouth and it was found. It was only matter of time. So why did Fred said something like that now?

“I just wish we haven’t been trying so hard instead of being free. I want to relive it all over again, since the day we entered Hogwarts. I miss it, I don’t know why, but everything was easier back then and I’m not intelligent enough to solve the hard ones,” Fred whispered into George’s ear and he _understood_ it. Although the twins saw each other for most of the day, he still longed Fred’s presence and it wouldn’t go away. He wanted to kiss his brother and it was hard as well. He shouldn’t, they shouldn’t.

“How do you find the flat, Freddie?” George asked, letting his twin go to see his face.

“We...I don’t belong there,” a sigh escaped the older twin’s breath and he looked up at the ceiling so that George could admire motion of his Adam’s apple. The twins didn’t have to look around to see it. The appartement did not look expensive that much, but for sure neat and organized. The Weasley twins were not that way and didn’t want to be.

“Why need to belong to some dumb walls? We belong to each other only and that’s it.”

After that, they looked each other in the eyes for a brief moment. They for sure had a lot of baggage to drag behind themselves. And it wasn’t clothes, cause the twins had few worn sweaters and pairs of jeans. Nobody would ever think the twins had emotions, but true enough, they had been keeping them safe inside their baggage, underneath their beds.

“Miss? I think we decided,” called Fred, stepping outside the new reality to pretend everything was still the same as it had been before. George followed him, slowly swinging on his heels. He looked up at the window on the ceiling. It was raining, but the glass surface forbid the water from storming into the hall.

George won’t let anyone be a rain on the twins’ parade.

“Mister George?” Poppy called him from the floor downstairs and he swore Fred’s redhead was taking a peek at the stairs. He went to them, a whole lot of baggage was waiting to be moved from Hogwarts, Grimmauld Place 12 and the Burrow.

***

George’s stomach was not letting him eat anything today and today’s day was the Christmas Day. The sticky toffee pudding crumbles were escaping his fork and he was spreading them across his plate.

“Dad, how can I help you?” Fred asked in especially dull manner gesturing the table and the man wrapped in bandages, like one of the Egyptian mummies the twins saw in Egypt, told him, “Oh, Fred, I would die for one piece of your mom’s Christmas pudding.”

So Fred cut and handed him a generous piece of Molly’s famous Christmas pudding. Arthur’s bruised face blushed as he managed to turn fork around his hand. Molly patted his back and George smiled absentmindedly. Sirius wouldn’t let them spend the Christmas at the Burrow and that pissed the twins off. What the one defying tradition all his life could know about Christmas at the family home? _Nothing._

“So we’re not going to church, mom?” Ginny asked from above her cookie. Remus chew on his pudding while Sirius smiled to himself seeing the cross on the wall. It has been ages since somebody treated the piece of wood otherwise than something _the whole family shall be praying to unless they want the neighbors to gossip_. Nothing in this house of Grimmauld Place 12 was never done out of pleasure or interest. All the things hung around _tradition and reputation._

“Once on the Christmas Day, I did not want to go to church, I thought it was pointless. Then my mother told me I must go otherwise the neighbors and priest will count the people and notice my absence,” Sirius said with a toothless smile and Harry looked up to him with gleaming eyes. Fred snorted, catching the others’ attention.

“Well, even if they have ever counted, me and George had been too busy with sleeping on the pew to notice,” he blurted out bubbly causing Ron to burst out with laughter.

“That’s right, once when they were singing _fall on your knees_ , I absently fell to mine,” George joked gracefully, looking at his twin. They were in a decent shape today, on Christmas Day. Soon after that, Molly’s elbow met his chest forcefully.

“It shows you never listen to anyone wise,” she grunted pouring some eggnog into Arthur’s glass. Ginny watched the twins carefully and Fred’s stomach turned turtle as if _she knew._ Bill was smiling at the letter he got from France, the piece of parchment underneath the table. Even if hidden, the surface was sprayed with Fleur’s rosy perfumes making the message impossible to ignore.

Remus put down his fork, drawing the twins’ attention, “ _One does not have to be religious to be a good person. The intentions of the heart are far more important than the actions we take to satisfy others,_ ” he chimed in. George frowned, if it was true, then the twins wouldn’t be judged for caring about each other. So what they were two boys loving each other? Did God or whatever there was hated people for the will of mutually caressing the other? Was kissing boy a _crime?_

“It is not about faith, but decisions we make,” Hermione added, drying her mouth with a tissue Harry handed her. Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius chuckled not letting his lips go open. Arthur nodded slightly, looking at his twins. They were not perfect, but they were trying their best. He was glad not everyone was the best at everything. Then, Molly disappeared with dirty plates along Hermione and Ginny, Ron and Harry stood up to go for the champagne. Bill helped Arthur go to the bathroom, making the twins the last left by the Christmas table with Remus and Sirius.

Maybe Frederick Weasley was young and dumber than most of the people his age, but he _saw it_. Saw Remus’ hand brushing Sirius’ one slightly, only by coincidence. It was different from the way the twins used to do it, more subtle, but still, the purpose was the same. To touch, but not to touch, not let the others see. For a second, Remus’ eyes met Fred’s and he quickly looked the other way, panic rushing the blood inside his veins. Black was shedding this halo of coolness. Even though black was the darkest color, it still seemed to have its shades, _the shades of cool._

After a while of uncomfortable silence between two wisest and two dumbest ones at Grimmauld Place 12, the others came back. Once everybody sat back in their places, Molly appeared again with Ginny, holding Christmas presents.

Ron, Ginny and Bill got sweaters, as always.  
Harry and Hermione got maroon sweaters with an _H_ as well, it seemed weird to the twins, yet they did not say anything about it, wanting to keep the day peaceful. Sirius and Remus got warm socks. Everyone kicked in to get Molly a new leather purse.

“And for Fred and George...,” Molly started, waving the smaller gifts wrapped in colorful paper right in front of the twins’ noses. “...Oh...” she was trying to tell them apart as they rolled their amber eyes, “...does it really matter?” she chattered with laughter, pushing the packages into the twins’ arms. After a fight with the paper, two scarfs appeared. One orange and one green.

“Thanks, mom,” said the twins at once.

In minutes, a huge box landed on the table, before Arthur’s face. With Bill and Harry’s help he managed to open it and a shining new gramophone appeared. The man gasped on the verge of tears, while caressing the sharp needle.

“We wanted to get you a magical, charmed one, Mr. Weasley, but we decided a muggle one you will like the best,” Harry explained, putting the music discs on the wooden surface. Arthur shed a tear, “You didn’t need to, the fact I’m alive is enough gift for me,” he said proudly and George felt his eyes get watery. He looked sideways and could tell Fred’s ones were the same. “...It’s muggle,” the father of seven said as Molly scooped the colorful remnants of the table, “And now you will have to buy new music discs anytime you would want to listen to something new. You know how much it makes?”

George swallowed, maybe buying whole tenement house was a mistake. Perhaps the owl-order selling wouldn’t be that bad and they would save their money. _Potter’s money_. He internally knew the reason of Molly’s rudeness was Percy’s lack and Arthur’s shape.

At the end of Christmas wishes and a couple of hugs, the family and friends started to clean up the mess. Ginny was trying to collect the sharp pieces of the plate she broke, but she obviously couldn’t use the magic outside Hogwarts. George helped her by using _Reparo_. Fred stood in the back of the room, observing the scene. He didn’t feel like he belonged here. Or anywhere. Even _his own shop._ Arthur embraced Molly’s waist, saying some things into her ear. Hermione threw herself shyly into Ron’s arms, but he only uncomfortably hug her back, his arms stiff. Harry laughed at something with Bill, pointing the piece of paper sticking out of the oldest son’s jeans. But Fred could tell Bill was sad today, maybe because Charlie was far in Romania. The older twin couldn’t imagine spending Christmas with George being abroad. Remus and Sirius were embracing each other, they seemed teenagers again.

Fred Weasley envied them so much his lean body couldn’t stand it. He envied Molly sleeping by Arthur’s side everyday. He envied Bill exchanging love letters with Fleur and everybody being okay with it the same time. He envied Ron and Hermione even though they would deny it. He knew right away they’re going to get a divorce a couple of times, but it was their thing. He envied Remus he could shamelessly hug Sirius as they remained apart for years. And Fred and George were not a part of this happy Christmas image. Even Charlie was playing with his dragons although Molly did not like it.

They were sick sleeping together at this age. Their non-existing letters would seem not normal. Their shy getting to know each other would happen to make them sodomites. It wasn’t like he saw only George’s body. He wanted all of him and he got nothing of him. They all pretended to act like arguments were problems. They were not. The problem was that you cannot have someone you love.

“We will be going home now, I suppose,” George said, looking directly into Fred’s eyes and he nodded shyly. Harry’s eyes went round, “So you have finally bought it, your place?”

They nodded at the same time, wearing their new scarfs. Molly squinted her eyes with her hands on a plate. “You should wait until the whole situation is clear.” Nobody said anything, the room was as quiet as a mouse.  
There was a moment of silence, then Remus tried to defend the boys.

“Why? If not now, then when?”

_And that’s the point, Remus_ , thought George. There may be no later.

***

George sat on their new bed, in his pyjamas, watching the Christmas market behind the glass slowly end for today’s day. The moon was shining on his pale face as the room was almost completely dark. It felt so new, so untouched. The mattress was brand new as well as the white sheets. They’ve moved only a couple of days ago, but the place still seemed empty. Lee has sent them a bunch of the stuff they needed the most at first. Their inventions and ingredients will be around New Year, it was quite a lot to move. Fred was showering and the brown paper containing the signets was already in George’s hand. He felt somehow numb after today, although the twins were in their very own private flat, where they could be themselves only. Even Fred’s _I’m going to wash myself_ seemed fake and unnatural. He saw a star coming down the sky. The twins have never been as superstitious as Molly, but he thought, _Please make Fred’s dreams come true_.

“It is so hot in the bathroom, I opened the window to let your farts outside,” Fred said, coming back from his shower. He was wearing his bathrobe and slippers Sirius lent them to their new home. George stood up to face his older twin and the other boy’s eyebrows went up. He then smirked, pushing his hands into his pockets to dig a colorful box out.

“I solemnly swear I’m up...” George started, smiling at his twin, the light of his blind life. His brother’s hair was still wet and face red, but he looked attractive anyway.

“...to no good.”

George felt ashamed for a moment Fred’s box was wrapped in a piece of colorful paper instead just plain brown one. He saw his twin seeing it, “ _The inside is the most important, mate, same goes with cinnamon cakes,_ ” he joked, making the younger twin long for him more than before. You wouldn’t want to see my inside, it may disappoint you, George thought, his mind bitter as cinnamon.

“Merry Christmas, Freddie,” he handed him the brown packaging while he received a colorful one in return. “Merry Christmas, Georgie.” He saw Fred waiting for him to open his gift first. The present was rectangular, as light as a small book. However, he doubted his twin would get him a book as the twins weren’t fond of reading. He carefully tore the paper and a white box appeared. He glanced at Fred, but he kept on waiting patiently for his twin to open it.

When his fingers opened the lid, a few cards fell onto his hands. They look exactly like the ones they owned, the ones Fred got him for their eleventh birthday. They must have been packed by Lee and somewhere in the middle of their road. These cards were charmed, of course, but the images painted were out of this world.

On the jack of hearts were the twins on the sledge during a snowy day at the Burrow. Fred was hugging George from behind, while the younger was charming the snowballs to attack the person who took the photo, Bill presumably. The photo moved and Fred pulled George’s hat onto his eyes with force. The younger twin giggled to himself at the memory.

Four of clubs on the other hand, showed Fred holding a big hairy spider above Ron’s head while the youngest male was shouting and trying to get away, but George held him. Charlie could be seen behind their sofa. They smiled at each other adoringly and George closed the cards back.

“I don’t know what to say, Freddie,” he said remorsefully. He got the best gift ever, his heart was going crazy right now and all he got Fred was a pair of the things they knew. “Nothing new, sugarplum.” Fred joked, ruffling George’s hand, but somehow his hand stayed there, feeling hot on the younger’s skin even through his thick hair. _I’m happy we’re here, in our own private place,_ their gazes said. Fred proceeded to unwrap his gift, while the fireworks outside lit their faces through the glass. It was perfect and if there was no tomorrow, then it was fine. Only if today will never end.

“Seems like we have a little competition there,” said the younger twin, trying to hide his nervousness. He was afraid his twin will think as if he wrote _I didn't have time to try harder_ on the brown paper. Fred’s fingers finally touched the cold metal as he exhaled loudly, his eyes going round. The older twin’s fingers caressed the F. Prewett initials and the orange sunstone. “Where on Earth did you find these? I thought mum...” he tried to put the thing on his lean finger and to the twins’ amazement, it fitted his hand perfectly.

“When you were sleeping at the Leaky Cauldron I went for a walk and stopped by...it was a coincidence,” George observed Fred playing with the ring as if it was made by a pure gold. He felt shame all he got his twin was a souvenir.

Then, Fred took the other ring and shoved it gently on George’s finger. The younger twin’s heart was pounding in his chest that hard he didn’t notice the shakiness of Fred’s hand. “Thank you,” they said at the same time, the younger twin throwing himself into Fred’s arms as they embraced him warmly. The older twin saw George’s anxious look, “ _Rings are as constant as our jokes, mate,_ funny even after hundred years. Cards may be destroyed, I charmed a few protective spells, though.”  
They went to their bed soon after the fireworks ended.

“I love you, Fred,” George whispered when they were lying in their bed few moments later, face to face. Nobody answered him, but he liked it like that. The newness of the unused pillows and the warmth of Fred’s resting body was affecting him like a lullaby. He was listening to Fred’s uneven breathing and he was wondering if he’s having a good sleep. He didn’t know why he was afraid to say these words at their own appartement.

He couldn’t restrain himself and he shifted forward, close enough to feel Fred’s slightly shaky breath on his skin. His hand reached to cup the older twin’s soft cheek with a bit of coldness of the Gideon’s signet on his finger. He couldn’t believe it was happening. Their dream coming true, the twins living by themselves, sleeping peacefully like that.

_Maybe the twins were truly the lucky ones riding through Devon. And maybe there was no Molly to catch and choke her own twins._

He shifted on the pillow to kiss Fred. But unlike the kiss at the Leaky Cauldron, this one was longer, the younger one was expressing all the emotions he was feeling right now. His body relaxed and he focused on Fred’s presence while his abdomen became warm. His twin’s lips were soft and moist. He wanted to let him know he was glad they were together now, he was glad they were twins. He couldn’t believe Fred chose him, cause he could be anyone’s twin. His twin gave him the traits he lacked and George did the same. One cannot be cool without the other. His brother’s cheek moved under his skin. Fred was the Ford Anglia while George was the driver.

_Concern, happiness, grace, worry, coziness, anger, the stirring inside his stomach and the warmth in his groin. He could almost hear good old Ford’s engine hollering in the morning air. On the run, only the two of them, playing it cool. Fred warmed him same way as the morning sun during their rides._

He felt his heart stopped, he forgot how to breathe when Fred’s hand landed softly on his cheek and his twin’s jaw moved slowly against his one, making the younger twin gasp.

_Fred and George bought their house while having an obsession for freedom._


	13. Information

Hi guys,  
I decided to divide Wild Caged Animal into at least two parts. I need a short break to catch a breath and collect my thoughts. I think that it is the best moment to do so as big things are going to happen to Fred and George soon. I have one of the most important exams in my life in a month so I don’t want the chapters to be rushed or not good enough as I won’t be able to spend all my time creating them.

Part two of this book is going to appear around May 10th, I hope you will be safe and sound. Take care and thank you for all kudos and comments 🌸


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